ToeKneeHoe

Friends are fucking great.

Honestly thought I made plans and promises special. Thought that what I said was written in stone and reserved. Thought that even though anyone could go with you, anyone else could do it, I would get to do it first because it was said so. No, no it wasn't. This is all a learning experience, don't waste your time. Because importance is a matter of perspective and to you something could mean the world and to others it's just another day. "One man's trash is another man's treasure." Sure never thought that would mean anything to me.

I chased and chased, had my fun and had my chance. Eventually, leading me to utter defeat and disappointment. I thought I took two steps forward, but I was wrong. I took a few steps, maybe even three or four in the wrong direction. Stupid for thinking anything.

I still can't grasp my mind over the amount of importance I don't have. I am nearly worthless. No one craves my friendship nor bothers to fight for it. I got placed behind for someone "worth" chasing for. This has not happened once or twice, but too many times now. I've learned now, that my value diminishes while I am there, while I am present, so lose me and forget me in the jungle of the mind and don't search for me. This way I will leave with value, do me peace and treasure the good over the bad, and maybe I will be atleast be memorized as a treasure rather than a worthless toy to pass time.

"Promises are important" It's been damn long since I heard that.. Amazed that some people still hold them dear to their heart.

The actions you make for some reflect the ones you don't for others.

You will never understand.