Iâm gonna spill my heart out a little, since at home I cannot talk about it without looking like the utmost weirdo. I know I said you can find me on discord for the next days but I need to get this out of my system.Â
You see, I absolutely do not feel like rping at the moment. Itâs freaking weird. I have so much muse for Ibara but just logging in on tumblr kills everything in me. The dash is dead, which is fine, the timezones and not everyone will be online when I am. I know that much and this is nothing that kills the joy. Itâs more the fact that knowing nothing is going to happen no matter how long I do wait. Sure, you say hit me up talk to me but I have a hard time starting conversations, unless there is this moment of having the guts to do but thatâs not often and I do have my people I can talk to without being afraid. Itâs just fucking hard to talk to others, so nothing ever happens. Let me say, I donât wanna sound like guilt-tripping someone, if I do sound like this I am sorry. This is not my intention. But what I have noticed and what makes me really frustrated at some point is that all threads Iâm starting get ignored. I know, notifications are a bitch, thereâs not always time and sometimes people forget. I donât wanna say anyoneâs at fault because I know these problems myself. But you see, writing a response, waiting for a response and then weeks later nothing ever happened makes me lose motivation.Â
It makes me a little sad. And right now Iâm at a point where I donât wanna write much.Â
Another thing, I donât know if that is true or if my mind is just telling me this is the truth but so many are gone, not really because of the lack of muse or so but because of those discord servers. I dunno. And please donât tell me to try being a part of one of those servers. I canât. A) I cannot talk to people I donât know that well. B) A server with itâs different chat rooms is so overwhelming. I canât keep track of whatâs going on and gimme a day or so and Iâll definitely feel left out and be quiet because I simply cannot catch up. C) Activity checks. Reading this alone in the rules of a server gives me stress. Itâs ok to check once a month or so. Really, I donât mind and itâs for everyoneâs sake but being part of a community with activity checks makes me feel like itâs some sort of job and it makes me lose all the fun. Because sometimes you just canât, you donât feel like it but in order to keep your place you gotta do it and itâs stress. to me. So, a server definitely is a no for me. Iâm sorry. Thereâs also another thing but that I will keep to myself because Iâm 100% sure someone will tell it and it will make itâs round and people are gonna get pissy so momoâs gonna shut up here.
Anyway. I hope itâs at least a tiny bit understandable as to why Iâm just not feeling it right now. Iâm sorry to everyone who I own stuff, Iâll get to do it, just a little later. Again, you can find me on discord if you wanna chat. Iâll just stick to filling google docs with the stuff I have in mind for any muse before I lose it.



















