HERE I AM!!

AOTV SPOILERS BELOW!

omg I loved it!! Like overall it was so beautifully done and u can really see it was done with care and thoughtfulness! it follows the timeline chronologically pretty well although it kind of goes 2010 to 2016 and then skips to 2019 to 23 so that gap kind of stays unknown but it is said that those were very difficult years for louis.

it starts with the 1d stuff and it goes pretty deep in how louis lived the beginning and the end of it! like we hear the story of how he didn't sing at all in wmyb and how he had worked with the producer for the 2nd single and they worked hard to get his verse right and then in the final cut he found out that they had given it to harry (😑) and how at that moment he felt like no matter what he did it wasn't gonna be good enough :( but that's also how he started writing bc all he ever wanted was to feel like he had a place in the band :( and then it cuts to 2015 and their last performance and there's a very telling video of him after the performance and he was so fucking sad (also I wonder what that footage was for ? bc it looked like they were making something then too) and in the voice-over he says that he was feeling angry and lost bc he felt like he finally had his place and he didn't want it to end (!!!) and then OLI MY BEST FRIEND!! says how only certain band members wanted it to end but louis didn't (we been knew but I'm glad oli is well aware and not scared to say it) and then we even hear lottie and his grandparents talk about the huge loss that losing 1d was for him.

I actually found it interesting that they had that first segment about 1d then right after his mom and then felicitè and they talked about all of those as the most important losses of louis' life so u really can see how big of a loss the breakup was for him :/ it was truly a part of him

then there's the part about his mum with his grandparents talking and I legitimately cried when his grandpa was talking bc it was all so sad and touching but also u can really feel how much they LOVE and admire louis and in general in all the family clips and interviews u really see how he is the core of his whole family and how much he loves them all. it's so beautiful

I loved the bits with his sisters too! the twins talked about how much he looks after them and how sometimes he's a bit too much but it's only bc he cares so much :(( and lottie said "he was made to be a big brother for many sisters " and I was like SO TRUE !!!! he literally is ! and helene called him GENTLE AND KIND !! which is also SO TRUE 😭😭 I love him sm

also I was surprised that they talked more about felicite bc he never said anything but God :( lottie talked about how louis and her tried to help her and how guilty she felt bc she couldn't and how louis must have felt it even more 😔😔

and in the middle of all of the parts there's oli interviews which are the best bc he truly gives such an insight on louis and like u can totally see why they're so close !! he understands louis a lot ! and he even says his job is to try to keep louis' life together lmao 😭😭

I loved the part about the beginning of the walls era bc u see how difficult that was for him and many aspects of it was stuff that we didn't know about! like there are clips from some of the earlier promo performance where Louis says that he hated it and hated performing and u can really see how much he beat himself up for his mistakes and that only starts changing with the ccme performance and then only at the Scala gig he's like I actually loved that!! I was really surprised about that like I had guessed from his stage presence and in general by everything that he wasn't really comfortable but he literally says taht at one point he couldn't wait to get out :(( and helene is like that's what u need to work on bc u actually love singing!! and u can see how it all changes with tour and how much she was right bc his voice keeps getting better as he gets happier mentally <3 the body truly does keep the score of our trauma!

I also loved the band bits and u can see how significant it is for the guys that louis sleeps in the same bus as them and involves them in day off activities and how tight and loving the atmosphere is on tour

also the fans interviews were lovely!! I especially liked a segment they did on how fans formed friendships and lived great experiences through the fandom and louis! u can really see how much louis loves that and it's beautiful bc it just reinforces one of louis' core messages which is how important people and love are <33

the entire Freddie segment was BEAUTIFUL it is the part that my non louie friend was most impressed by bc u can really tell how much louis loves him and vice versa, also how important Freddie is for him! and he's such A GOOD DAD!! so loving and affectionate, he is always telling him that he loves him and asking for kisses and it was so 😭 that kid will be such a wonderful person. and louis even showed him that he was crying after the la show bc he saw him in the crowd ! :(( truly beautiful (and great parenting especially for a boy!)

there wasn't a lot about his career difficulties (as I expected) but it's still hinted at that he had more than one issue with the labels and all that side of things :/ also found it interesting that helene mentioned that people in management etc in 1d didn't like him bc they thought he was arrogant and wanted to be the front man when all he was arguing for was just Equal and fair opportunities and even his grandparents talk about how it wasn't fair how he was treated in the band and that even if louis didn't talk about it they could see it hurt him... sigh

I'm sure I'll remember more as soon as I post it but for now I think that's enough skdk it's beautiful! it's telling and it's real ! go watch it and enjoy louis in all his wonderful aspects!

I can't help but think about Louis saying he didn't have any control at the beginning of 1D and how later so many horrible things were said about him in the press, and I understand this desire to set the record straight and to show himself in an intimate manner to say: this is who I am. But it's never done in an obnoxious way. He brings you along for the ride - as the viewer - but he includes everyone around him too - his bandmates, his family, his friends.