i have no idea how to process this. it’s not unfathomable and it’s something i’ve thought about many times but i don’t actually know how to process it. what do you mean he was such an integral part of me growing up and he did some fucked up things in part bc of the fucked up environment he grew up in and now he’s DEAD and can’t do anything to try and make amends. what do u mean the boys now means harry louis liam niall zayn. what do you mean he left behind a child less than 10 years old. what the fuck do you mean

The kid you loved wasn’t the man he became. You’re allowed to mourn the memory of your childhood you just lost even if you disapprove of the adult it made reality.

#do you think harry ever looks back at these and is like #’my god why do we look like we only crawled out of our sex den to take these pictures’ #and louis’s like ‘remember how we were in a dick haze for six months straight and can’t remember most of 2011’ #and niall is like ‘ah look at the traumatised faces on us #the tings those poor innocent boys witnessed! #we had no idea it could get worse’ (x)

What if they opened the next tour with tears?

There's something about Ashton back home. I don't know how to explain it but, in my head, I picture it as an Ashton inside a bubble. When he's in LA and performing and doing band stuff, his bubble is big and thick, it's intense, it's bright colours. But when he's home with his family, his bubble becomes smaller and thinner, more relaxed and cosy, and the colours turn to smooth nature ones. Or maybe I'm just insane. 🤷🏻‍♀️