how do i turn off sticky keys

breaking news: queen elizabeth, the mom from the royal family, is a nasty little thottie. and she just died from making it clap on instagram

The fact that Twitter allows porn but not public death threats and tumblr allows public death threats but not porn is objectively funny and the fact that a large portion of us chose the latter over the former is objectively funnier

i love watching people’s porch lights go off. and i love it when random little rooms that are the last light on finally turn off. you’re tired and it’s time to go to bed ! i get it and i love you

it feels like we retired the post about prince philip making it clap on instagram after he actually died. as if it were a magical sword forged solely to kill him and now, having accomplished its destined task, there was nothing left but to wax it and put it away in its box, left forgotten in some mouldering attic. but surely power yet dwells within the blade. surely his corpse may yet be mocked, that it may never truly rest in peace. surely we can preserve his legacy, that he may be remembered by all of history as a nasty little thottie who was punished for his icarian arrogance, struck dead by the gods for having the foolhardy gall to make it clap on instagram.

the joker gave birth to a healthy litter of jokelets last night.