i want to believe

“let’s fuckin’ hope so. i need more things to do here like i need a boot to the ass.” which was to say, not at all. pushing a hand through his hair to push it off of his forehead as he released a long sigh from his lips, tomas reached out and gripped the latch to the door of the pig’s barn, pushing it up and unlocking it before he was peaking his head inside to assess whatever damage they might have dealt. assured of the fact that he wasn’t about to be bowled over by an angry escaped pig, he pushed the door open and headed inside the barn, eyes scanning over each of the pens within it, and the pigs within those. “it’s funny, i’ll give ya that much. though, half the time i just refer to them with whatever pops into my head first.” he’d called just about all of the cows ‘hamburger’ at least once, and some of the peskier ones it multiple times, so maybe that was just par for the course at this rate.

“i don’t really think it’s that. i think i just find most people boring,” tomas admitted, giving his own shake of his head as his chin dipped down just a touch. “or frivolous. or like i need to take a nap after dealing with them for any amount of time. they’re- they’re the one person i’ve ever met that i didn’t feel tired after dealing with them. then again, maybe that’s the adrenaline from the fighting talking, i don’t know. i just know that for all of that, for as messed up as it is, nothing else has ever felt as good as it does. it hasn’t even come close.” he let’s out a short, humorless snort. “then again, it’s not like i’ve been on a date with anyone but them in the past... i don’t know, ten years?”

“one’a my sisters came by to take a look at some of the new foals we got, and- well.” he almost wanted to laugh just thinking about it. “she was cooin’ over one, givin’ it a hug, and it just peed all over her foot. the way she shrieked and pulled away? i was just about down on the ground from laughin’ so hard.”

“that’s the thing,” tomas sighed, chin ducking down just a touch as he did. “i try bein’ with other people - it’s just not the same. not as good.” and how the fuck was he gonna live with a just-okay relationship that was healthy, when he knew how great it was with his ex? when they were on good terms, at least. “never really been able to deal with anyone else. but-” a brief, humorless chuckle escapes his lips. “maybe that’s just because there’s not really anyone knockin’ down my door for me to take them on a date.”

tomas snorted at the other’s comment, his head shaking just a touch as he headed towards the barn the pigs were housed in. “well, the fact that i keep callin’ all of them bacon whenever they piss me off probably isn’t helping,” he jokes lightly, giving a small shake of his head. “though, i feel like i deserve some credit, since i also keep askin’ them if they’ll help me get rid of a body if i need to.” of course, pigs didn’t really have any sense of humor, but he could hope they did, couldn’t he? not that hope had ever really helped him for anything. he tugs at the closure of the barn door, easing it open carefully so as not to terrify the pigs inside, and peeks his head in to take a look at the state of them now, see if anything had been destroyed in their anger at being locked away. “you get a look at the property while you were comin’ in? i’m tryin’ to take stock of what’s gotta get fixed when all of this bullshit is over.”

“uh, i don’t, really? usually my sisters show up and make a big deal out of it, whether they’re gettin’ me presents or cake or insisting on invading my kitchen to cook me my favorite meal for dinner. but if they’re busy, got stuff goin’ on... i don’t really do anything. might go into town and grab a drink or somethin’, but that’s about it. feel like birthdays are really only somethin’ you celebrate when you’ve got people to celebrate it with. winn-dixie brings me cupcakes every year, though. makes ‘em herself, but she knows i’m not big on celebratin’, so she doesn’t do anything else.”

“horse the size of a cat. you know what a fuckin’ cat the size of a horse would do to you? it’d come up lookin’ for attention, you’d be petting it, and you’d pet it for a second too long, and the next thing you know you’re dead, because it turned and scratched your head clean off.”

a snort escaped tomas’ lips as the other male spoke, because frankly, he wouldn’t be surprised if the chicken really was trying to organize some sort of walkout. he couldn’t knock her spirit, though - even if he did think she was a bit of a bird brain, considering he knew for a fact that all of the animals on his farm had life a whole lot easier than they ever would if they were in the wild and fending for themselves. he was pretty sure that a few of the chickens - the ones he lovingly called the ‘dumb ones’ - wouldn’t even be able to feed themselves if he wasn’t scattering feed for them. “yeah, well, she’s gotta learn that bein’ blown away in a goddamn tornado ain’t as fun as dorothy makes it look,” he mutters, voice having a faint grumble to it before he flashed a quick grin to the other male. “you wanna help me make sure the pigs are buttoned up in their barn? i got them in before the wind even started gettin’ bad, but they were none too happy ‘bout it. wanna make sure no one broke a door or nothin’.”

“that’s what i’m here for - there ain’t no need for you to put yourself in danger when i’m stayin’ on the land,” tomas muttered, shaking his head - though they both knew full well that he was beyond grateful for the second set of hands. he had no plans to evacuate himself, either, but that was more because someone needed to be on the land to feed the animals, and he couldn’t put out enough food for them in the barn to last more than two days. so he wasn’t taking any chances - not even if it put himself at risk. “the chickens are in. had to tuck ginger under my arm like a damn football while i got the others in the coop before i put her in and shut the door behind her.”

“i wish things were that simple for me,” tomas laughed lightly. “unfortunately i seem to be much more one who... well, let’s just say that when it comes to my ex, we’re... good for a while. and then we’re at each other’s throats, so we break up, and then a few weeks or months later, we’re back together. and it’s been like that for...” he let out a sigh that puffed out his cheeks. “at least a couple of years now. we’re not healthy, and i acknowledge that. but they’re a bad habit i’ve never quite been able to kick.”

tomas had been out in the fields almost all day, as soon as he’d heard about the coming storm - checking and double checking there was no one lingering or hiding, that nothing was left out where it’d be able to get blown away to god-knows-where with the winds. he’d already had a few branches to the torso as they’d fallen off of trees, and he could feel bruising already blossoming, but nothing was too bad, thankfully. “yeah, yeah, i got ya,” he muttered gruffly, shoving his shoulder against the door to get it closed fully before he was locking the latch in place with one hand. luckily, he lived on the ranch, so if anything too disastrous happened, he’d be there to do what needed to be done, but he was thankful for striker’s presence, and the fact that he’d come to help. doing all of this alone would suck. “the fuck you doin’ here, man?” he added when the door was secured shut.

tomas is someone who’s incredibly hard to get close to, which tends to get on people’s nerves. he’s also a bit prickly and tends to get possessive, which is one of the largest problems in his past relationships... though certainly not the only one. he also tends to - while he doesn’t say the complete wrong thing - the things he says don’t necessarily come out right, which tends to annoy some people.

being out in nature, 100%. he’s not even really an outdoorsy person - he has no desire to go out into the woods or anything of the sort, but he doesn’t particularly like being around people. so he enjoys being out on the ranch with his animals, as opposed to being somewhere where he’s surrounded by people.

“you haven’t seen my past relationships,” tomas hummed, his head cocking to the side just a touch. “trust me when i say they’re... disasters.” okay, one in particular, but that one was messy enough to speak for itself. “i have a bad habit of shutting them out when they’re getting too close.” okay, that wasn’t the full truth, and they were just as much at fault as he was, but he wasn’t totally sure if he was ready to admit to that. the blame had always fallen on his shoulders or their shoulders in his mind - never on them both.

it was rare that someone asked tomas a question that he might actually have an answer to. and, as someone who’s probably read thousands of romance novels in his life, he... definitely at least had some sort of idea of what to say. “well, it’s not the stale cliche of paris, which is nice. refreshing. think it’s perfect, actually.” his head cocks to the side just a touch when she speaks, eyebrows furrowing just a touch. “hey- if shit writers like james patterson can publish ten books a year, then i think you’ve got it in you to do this. i believe in you.”

“that implies that the people at planet 7 are good,” tomas hummed, his eyebrows raising just a touch as he shot her a brief look. maybe it was just the fact that he’d never heard a song he liked sung at planet 7, that he was biased against it - but he didn’t care enough to spend any amount of time thinking about it. his eyes narrow just a touch when she attempts to sing a few bars, his head cocking to the side. “that sounds like that song they play on the virgin cruises commercial that comes on tv every five minutes. i don’t think a commercial break goes by where i don’t see it.” he slides cash across to her, waving at her to keep the change as he brings the first shot to his lips, quickly pouring the alcohol down in throat. “it’s a miracle if the music i listens to ends up on a jukebox, much less a karaoke playlist - so i guess i’m just not really all that concerned with it. don’t listen to much music anyway.”