i am constantly going back and forth between what i think i want and what i know i deserve. and it’s weird because sometimes i think he’s too good to me and he treats me a lot better than i could ever treat him. and then theres times that he completely does not treat me how i want at all, and it feels like im settling for less than i deserve. like do i want someone who is going to pick me up from the airport because “well, who else would do it if i didnt haha?”. no, i want someone who says are you kidding, i want to pick you up from the airport cause i want to be the first person you see when you come back to school. he gives me so much sometimes, but other times, he gives me so little. i struggle so deeply with this everyday, why cant i just figure out what i want.Â