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the jackson family had always been loud during the holidays.
somehow every conversation turned into three conversations at once. music played somewhere in the background at all times, somebody was always cooking, somebody was always laughing too hard, and somebody was definitely arguing over cards in the living room.
it had been like that since you were little.
which was exactly why this trip felt so strange.
you adjusted the sleeves of your cream colored sweater as the black escalade rolled through the snowy roads leading up to the cabin. outside the windows, snow covered the pine trees so heavily it looked fake. pretty enough to be a postcard.
inside the car, though, the tension sat like a brick between you and jermajesty.
he sat beside you scrolling on his phone while soft r&b played through the speakers. every few seconds the light from his screen reflected against his face. unreadable. distant.
it wasnât always like this.
you remembered being fourteen at family cookouts with him chasing you around the backyard spraying water guns while his cousins yelled at both of you to stop running near the food. remembered movie nights where youâd fall asleep on opposite ends of the couch just to wake up somehow tangled together under the same blanket.
back then, loving jermajesty jackson felt easy.
now it felt like trying to hold snow in your hands.
âyou okay?â he finally asked without looking up from his phone.
you stared out the window. âiâm fine.â
a lie. he knew it was a lie too.
the car went quiet again.
by the time you arrived at the cabin, snow had already started falling harder. the place was massive, warm lights glowing through the windows while music echoed faintly from inside.
the second the front doors opened, warmth hit your face.
âthere she is!â jermaine called from across the room.
you barely had time to take your coat off before alejandra pulled you into a hug.
âmi amor, finally,â she smiled. âyou look too skinny. did you eat?â
you laughed softly for the first time all day. âhi to you too.â
âno seriously,â she said, grabbing your face dramatically. âdo you know how stressed i get when you donât answer me?â
âmom,â jermajesty muttered behind you.
âdonât mom me.â she waved him off instantly before pulling you toward the kitchen. âcome sit.â
you could feel his eyes on your back for half a second before he disappeared upstairs.
the kitchen smelled like cinnamon and garlic and something sweet baking in the oven. everybody talked over each other while snowstorm warnings played quietly from the television mounted above the fireplace.
you tried your best to blend into the warmth of it all.
but every once in a while your eyes drifted upstairs.
later that night, the cabin grew quieter.
most of the family had gone downstairs for games and drinks while you stood alone on the upstairs balcony overlooking the mountains. snow fell heavily now, coating everything silver beneath the moonlight.
your fingers tightened around the mug in your hands.
you didnât hear jermajesty walk out until his voice came quietly behind you.
âyouâve barely looked at me all day.â
you exhaled slowly. âbecause every time i do, youâre on your phone.â
when you turned around, he leaned against the doorway in gray sweats and a black hoodie, curls slightly messy from the snow. beautiful in the most unfair way possible.
âyou know iâve been busy,â he said.
you laughed once. not nicely. âyouâve been âbusyâ for like two months.â
âact like iâm ignoring you on purpose.â
you looked down over the balcony again before speaking quietly.
âsometimes i feel like you only love me when itâs convenient.â
you could see it immediately in his face.
the wind blew harder around both of you as the silence stretched.
downstairs, faint laughter echoed through the cabin.
up here, it felt like the two of you were completely alone.
âyou know thatâs not true,â he finally said.
âthen why does it feel true?â
for the first time all night, jermajesty didnât have an answer.
jermajesty hated when you got quiet. not the normal kind of quiet. not the comfortable silence the two of you had shared for years.
the kind where your eyes stopped looking for him first in a room.
the kind where your voice sounded tired instead of angry.
it made his chest feel tight in a way he didnât know how to fix.
you stepped past him before he could say anything else, brushing your shoulder against his lightly as you walked back inside.
âiâm tired,â you muttered. âgoodnight.â
he watched you disappear down the hallway.
for a second, he thought about following you.
instead, he stayed frozen on the balcony while snow piled against the railing.
downstairs, somebody screamed from laughing too hard. probably jaafar.
normally that sound wouldâve made him smile.
tonight it just made him feel worse.
âââ ę° á§ŕˇá§ ęą âââ
the next morning, the storm had gotten worse.
thick snow covered the windows almost halfway up, and the weather report on the television warned everyone to stay inside until further notice.
âthis is insane,â one of his cousins laughed, standing near the fireplace. âweâre literally trapped here.â
âwell nobody panic,â alejandra said dramatically while carrying plates into the kitchen. âwe have enough food for at least a week.â
âa week?â jermajesty groaned. âoh my god.â
you sat quietly at the counter stirring cream into your coffee.
his eyes landed on you instantly.
you looked pretty even when you were upset. annoyingly pretty.
oversized hoodie. curls slightly messy. long lashes casting shadows against your cheeks while you stared into your mug like it personally offended you.
he noticed you still wore the chain he bought you last summer.
you noticed him noticing.
your gaze flicked away immediately.
âyou two are weird,â his older sister suddenly said from across the kitchen.
both of your heads snapped toward her.
âexcuse me?â you laughed awkwardly.
âseriously,â she continued. âusually yâall are attached at the hip during family trips. now itâs giving divorced parents.â
âokay!â alejandra cut in quickly. âeat your breakfast.â
but several people around the kitchen started laughing because everybody had clearly already noticed the tension.
jermajesty rubbed his face. âcan everybody mind their business?â
âwe are minding it,â jaafar smirked from the couch. âthis is entertaining.â
you shook your head, trying not to smile despite yourself.
jermajesty caught it immediately.
and for the first time in days, something in him softened.
because at least you were still looking at him.
âââ ę° á§ŕˇá§ ęą âââ
by nighttime, the storm had become dangerous.
wind slammed against the cabin windows hard enough to make the lights flicker every few minutes.
you sat curled on one end of the sectional couch while the family watched movies and talked over each other. every now and then thunder rumbled somewhere outside.
your phone buzzed beside you.
mom: roads are getting closed out there. yâall stay safe please.
before you could answer, the lights suddenly shut off.
the entire cabin went dark.
a chorus of confused yelling immediately filled the room.
âwait somebody touched my leg!â
you laughed quietly under your breath as flashlight lights started appearing around the room.
the power stayed out this time.
âokay,â jermaine sighed somewhere in the dark. ânobody panic.â
âwhy would you say donât panic?â somebody complained. ânow iâm panicking.â
candles were eventually lit around the cabin, casting everything in soft gold shadows. it shouldâve felt cozy.
instead, the storm outside only seemed louder now.
after another hour, one of the maintenance workers called saying part of the upstairs heating system had frozen.
meaning several bedrooms upstairs were unusable until morning.
âyouâve gotta be kidding me,â jermajesty muttered when room arrangements started getting shuffled around.
you looked up from your blanket slowly.
because there was only one bedroom left.
alejandra blinked between both of you carefully.
âi meanâŚâ she started cautiously, âyou two have shared rooms before.â
âmom,â jermajesty warned.
she lifted her hands innocently.
because suddenly the thought of being trapped in the same room with him all night felt way scarier than the storm outside.
âââ ę° á§ŕˇá§ ęą âââ
the room felt smaller than it actually was.
maybe it was the storm outside.
maybe it was the way silence filled every corner the second the bedroom door shut behind both of you.
jermajesty tossed his phone onto the dresser before running a hand through his curls. âyou can take the bed.â
you looked over at him. âand youâre gonna sleep where?â
âthe floor or something.â
âseriously, itâs fine.â
you sighed softly, setting your overnight bag near the wall. âweâre not doing that.â
âweâve shared beds before,â you said quietly. âitâs not that big of a deal.â
because the problem had never been sharing space with jermajesty.
the problem was how easy it still felt to be around him even after he hurt you.
outside, wind howled against the cabin windows while soft candlelight flickered across the room. the power still hadnât returned, leaving everything dim and warm.
you changed quietly in the bathroom before climbing into bed wearing one of your oversized shirts and shorts.
jermajesty tried not to stare when you walked out.
because you looked soft and beautiful in the kind of effortless way that always ruined him a little.
he climbed in beside you a few minutes later, keeping distance between your bodies.
for a while, neither of you spoke.
the only sounds were the storm outside and the occasional crackle from the fireplace downstairs.
âwhyâve you been treating me different?â
your voice barely rose above the wind.
jermajesty stared at the ceiling.
you turned your head toward him immediately. âdonât do that.â
âpretend iâm making it up.â silence.
you sat up slightly now, frustration finally slipping through your voice.
âyou stopped calling like you used to. every time weâre together lately you seem distracted. half the time i feel like iâm bothering you just for wanting attention from my own boyfriend.â
because lately he hadnât even been acting like one.
his jaw tightened while he looked down at his hands.
another long silence stretched between you both.
âeverything got serious.â
you frowned slightly. âwhat does that mean?â
âIt meansâŚâ he rubbed his face tiredly. âyouâre not some random girl to me.â
your chest tightened hearing that.
âyouâve been around my family forever. my mom loves you more than me at this point,â he said with a weak laugh. âeverybody already treats you like you belong here.â
âand that scares me.â
you stared at him quietly.
âbecause what if i ruin it?â
the vulnerability in his voice almost hurt to hear.
jermajesty looked over at you now, eyes darker in the candlelight.
âyou know how people see me,â he admitted quietly. âhalf the time i donât even know if iâm doing relationships right. and lately i just kept thinkingâŚâ he paused. âwhat if you wake up one day and realize iâm not enough for you?â
your expression softened instantly.
âso i pulled away first.â
the truth. the stupid, messy, and painfully honest truth.
you felt your eyes sting slightly before shaking your head.
a small breath of laughter escaped him.
you moved closer before you could overthink it, your fingers brushing lightly against his jaw.
âiâve loved you since we were kids,â you whispered. âyou really think iâd still be here if you werenât enough for me?â
his eyes searched yours carefully.
like he was trying to decide whether he deserved to believe you.
then slowly, his hand slid against your waist beneath the blankets.
âi missed you,â he admitted softly.
because somehow hearing that felt more intimate than anything else.
the space between you disappeared naturally after that.
his forehead rested against yours first.
then his lips brushed yours softly.
like he was relearning you.
the kiss deepened slowly, all lingering emotion and tension finally spilling out between both of you after weeks of distance. your fingers slid into his curls while his hand tightened gently at your waist, pulling you closer against him.
every touch felt warm. familiar.
he kissed you like he was sorry.
like he was terrified to lose you.
your breathing grew uneven when his lips trailed briefly along your jaw, his voice low against your skin.
âyou have no idea how hard itâs been not touching you.â
heat rushed through your stomach instantly.
you shifted closer without thinking, legs brushing against his beneath the blankets.
his hands moved carefully along your thighs, slow enough to give you time to pull away if you wanted.
instead you kissed him again harder this time, emotion and want mixing together until neither of you could tell where one ended and the other started.
outside, snow slammed against the windows.
inside, the room only grew warmer.
his kisses grew slower after that, deeper, the kind that left both of you breathless between each touch. the tension from the last few weeks melted into something softer now, something warm and aching and impossible to ignore.
you could feel his heartbeat against your chest when he pulled you closer, one hand sliding carefully along your thigh beneath the blanket. not rushed, not careless.
like he wanted to remember every part of you.
âcome here,â he murmured quietly against your lips.
you shifted willingly into him until there was barely space left between your bodies. the oversized shirt you wore had slipped slightly off one shoulder, and jermajestyâs eyes dropped there for a second before he kissed the skin gently.
the small sound that escaped you made him smile against your neck.
âthere she is,â he whispered.
your fingers tightened lightly in the fabric of his hoodie as his lips continued trailing slowly along your jawline and neck, lingering just enough to make your breathing uneven. outside the storm raged against the cabin windows, but inside everything felt warm, heavy, intimate.
âyou know what you do to me?â he said quietly.
you swallowed. âwhat?â
his hand slid against your waist, pulling you flush against him again before he answered.
âyou make me forget every stupid thing in my head.â
the honesty in his voice hit harder than the flirting.
you kissed him again immediately, softer this time, and he melted into it with a quiet exhale. weeks of frustration, missing each other, wanting each other, all of it blurred together until neither of you could stop smiling between kisses.
jermajesty rested his forehead against yours afterward, thumb brushing slowly along your hip beneath the blanket.
âiâm serious about you,â he admitted quietly. âprobably more serious than i know how to handle.â
your chest tightened hearing that.
for a second neither of you spoke, just laid there tangled together while candlelight flickered across the room.
then you laughed softly. âyou know your familyâs gonna be annoying tomorrow.â
he groaned immediately, dropping his head against your shoulder. âjaafarâs never letting this go.â
you laughed harder when he kissed your shoulder dramatically like he was suffering.
but even then, even joking around, he still kept holding you close.
like he finally understood he almost lost something he couldnât replace.
âdoes anybody know where theââ
both of your heads snapped toward the doorway where jaafar stood frozen holding a flashlight.
both of your heads snapped toward the doorway where jaafar stood frozen holding a flashlight.
his eyes slowly moved from jermajesty laying half on top of you⌠to your tangled legs beneath the blankets⌠to the candlelight mood lighting surrounding the room.
you immediately shoved your face into jermajestyâs chest out of embarrassment while jermajesty grabbed the nearest pillow and launched it directly at him.
jaafar dodged it easily, looking way too entertained.
âthis is insane,â he laughed. âthe whole family downstairs talking about board games while yâall up here.â
âleave!â you yelled, unable to stop laughing.
âokay okay iâm going,â he grinned, backing toward the hallway. âbut just so yâall know, these walls are thin.â
the door slammed shut again while jermajesty groaned into the pillow beside you.
you were still laughing so hard your stomach hurt.
âiâm never going downstairs again,â he muttered dramatically.
you looked over at him, curls messy, cheeks flushed, still half wrapped around you beneath the blankets.
and for the first time in weeks, everything between you finally felt okay again.