∞

“I warn you, I’m not going to fight fair though…”

Luck • American Authors

feel free to change words and pronouns as needed.

“Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it.”

“Well I was just asking; it seemed plausible enough given your record of generally being the worst human in existence.”

“No, I’m not asking for anything, except for maybe mercy. Like, it would be friggin’ sweet if no one hit me.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“Tell me straight, (name), do you think is this my fault?”

“Yeah, but maybe they’ll like canonize me for being so selfless.”

“She’s kidding. (Name) has a wonderful sense of humor.”

“Planning to be surprised when you deliver?”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“(Name)! You’re a dick! I love it!”

“Nah, I’m already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?”

“I’ve got it all planned. This is something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time.”

“No! You definitely can’t do that. That’s one big, fat sack of no!”

“I want things to be perfect! I don’t want them to be shitty and broken like everyone else’s family.”

“A baby’s not gonna fix everything, I don’t even know if I’m ready to be a father.”

“It’s got nothing to do with it. (Name) and I aren’t in love anymore.”

“I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe what an idiot I am.”

“I just need to know that it’s possible that two people can stay happy together forever.”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“Can we make out now?”

“Hey, you know, you can go into early labor sucking face like that!”