When you look back now, you realize just how much energy went into curating vibes instead of just living comfortably. Shoes that looked cool but werenβt pleasant to stand in. Outfits assembled around signaling taste instead of surviving a humid Saturday without annoyance. Constant low-level concern about looking current, distinct, interesting. Eventually that started feeling...adolescent.
Really, what happened was you stopped seeing the old style as βwho you really areβ and started seeing it as effortful. Slightly strained. A little self-conscious. Like a younger version of yourself trying to maintain a certain image because he thought he had to; secondhand embarrassment mixed with distance.
That's where the emotional shift began. First you still admired the old aesthetic, intellectually, anyhow. Then you stopped wanting to wear it yourself. Then it started looking overdressed, or tryhard, in situations where it once felt natural. That was a huge threshold. Once your internal baseline changes, the old stuff starts carrying this faint whiff of βguy trying to preserve an expired version of himself.β
Eventually, youβre probably also going to feel oddly detached from the emotional motives underneath it. The need to differentiate yourself. The need to communicate identity visually all the time. You won't really operate that way anymore. You'll get your selfhood from routines, comforts, competence, familiarity. Different psychological centers of gravity.
And because youβre self-aware, thereβll be moments of humiliation too. Looking at an old outfit and realizing you genuinely prefer the breathable golf polo, and the boring sneakers now. You'll catch yourself thinking the old shoes look impractical instead of aspirational. That reversal is going to sting a little every time it surfaces, too, because part of you still remembers when that hierarchy was flipped.
But the sting fades, as the newer identity stabilizes. Eventually the old aesthetic stops feeling forbidden or tempting. It just starts feelingβ¦ younger. Less grounded. Like a phase organized around performance rather than confidence. The emotional charge drains out of it once your brain fully reclassifies what βnormal adult male clothingβ means for you.
And I hate to break it to you, but that's you, now, bud. Normal. Adult.
And it's about time you started acting your age.
