Everybody shut up. It's baby Bruce


Andulka
Claire Keane

★
Not today Justin
d e v o n

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Today's Document
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@toddlerbrucewayne
Everybody shut up. It's baby Bruce

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ok but legitimately i think the reason why kids aren’t taking internet safety seriously is because the people who are telling us not to put our personal information out seem so out of touch. no one acknowledges the possibility of meeting very real teenaged friends online, they always say that everyone you meet is a 40 year old white man in disguise. because they aren’t acknowledging things we know are true, it becomes a lot easier to dismiss the rest of what they’re saying as well. internet safety lessons absolutely must keep up with the times and acknowledge the internet’s capacity for good if you want kids to take to heart warnings about its capacity for bad.
Some actual safety tips for teenagers:
1. Have proof they’re a teenager first. More than just a picture, have a video call with them.
2. If you want to meet up with them, have your parents or a trusted adult come with you. Even if they are a proven teenager, its still good to have supervision in case any issues happen.
3. If you are talking to an adult, and they start being sexual in any way, you run the fuck away. It doesn’t matter if they’re 40 or 20. An adult inherently has a power dynamic that teenagers do not. And its up to the adult to act responsible about it. There’s exceptions of course, if you’re 16 and dating an 18 year old, that’s not a problem, we’re not talking about that.
4. Being in a server with adults or ran by adults is not inherently bad. Talking to adults is not inherently a problem, and will likely happen in any number of Discord servers. It is only an issue when they are acting sexual and show predatory behavior.
5. Look out for grooming behavior. It can be difficult, because at first it seems like innocuous behavior, like complimenting or giving gifts. Especially if you feel lonely and have low self esteem. And groomers actively target people like that.
If they start trying to isolate you, talk sexual with you, state they depend on you for emotional needs, blame you for their own actions, try to be secretive about the relationship- Then you need to talk to people you trust, block the perpetrator, and call the police on them.
6. If this does happen to you, remember this: It is not your fault. Even if you didn’t listen to a single thing listed here, it is not your fault. It is the fault of the adults who knew better, and didn’t care. It’s not your fault.
To my followers: if any of you guys are underaged, please be very VERY careful on here, and don’t fall for any of the tricks the groomer would use on you, just block them and report them.
Steph comes over, immediately sees Bruce and just starts playing peek-a-boo with him, no questions asked.
They never told her it was Bruce
She feels awkward afterward when she learns and can’t look at Bruce and stay serious for quite a while.
Dick barely slept that week and stole Tim's coffee like every single time he poured himself a cup.
Tim ended up making more coffee and pouring two cups every time
Alfred (the cat) cleaned Bruce as if he was a kitten at least twice. Bruce squirmed and tried to get away, only to be brought back by Damian, who also painted Bruce with Titus. He even made a copy to hang one in Alfred’s bedroom.

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Dick would make an anxious and very enthusiastic mom dad, while Tim would be the one that has read every single book on the subject in a minimal time.
Tim got the facts about the temperature of the water because they “can't boil the baby”. Because they, as grown-ups, are used to pour themselves very hot baths, but tiny Bruce is so precious, and he has a very delicate skin. They end up filling the bath with those toys you pinch and water comes out. Bruce is not amused. Damian accidentally splashed Bruce, and Bruce accidentally let out an adorable squeal. Damian is embarrassed and amused at the same time because he's not supposed to show he likes cute things but aaaaw, that squeal.
Dick is totally wearing an apron for the whole and have a baby bottle in the pocket along with tissues to clean him up, a pack of baby biscuits,a baby book, a pacifier and a teething toy.
It obviously is a blue one but that's not one of Alfred's, and the other boys don't know where he got it since Dick appeared with it on the first day. They become quite jealous though after seeing how Dick always has what he needs for Bruce in a pocket, and how he just has to change his apron when Bruce regurgitates.
Dick was a bit anxious after a few days. The spell didn’t seem to wear off, he was sleep deprived, and he realized that Bruce could stay like that forever, meaning they’d have to choose a school for him.
The best one of course.
But how would the kids react? Will they be kind to Bruce? Will he be able to go to university? So many questions, so little answers. It’s Tim who stepped in and stopped Dick in his rambling. He proved himself to be rational for both of them, reminding his elder brother that, should the spell not wear off, Bruce wouldn’t have to go to school for two more years, giving them enough time to make a decision. He added that they could give him a proper education at home and that they also could try to contact Zatanna, for example. Or Dr. Fate. Professionals who could help them with that situation. It helped Dick a lot and he looked way more relaxed afterward, though he didn’t rush to call Zatanna or Fate.
Tim and Jason were sent on a shopping mission on the first day. Dick was busy being ecstatic and playing with Bruce, while Damian wasn’t supposed to drive for obvious reasons. They were supposed to get only food, nappies, clothes, and toys. It took them several hours in the store to gather all they needed and was quite stressful for the both of them.
Tim “What nappy size should we take? 4? 5? the package says it depends on the weight of the baby. Did you weigh him, Jason? Jason? Where is he now?”
The entire time Tim was struggling with the nappies, Jason was trying to figure out what food they should buy exactly: “Baby formula, baby formula... Here. Why are there numbers...? Oh okay, it’s according to the age... But how old is he? Number 2 or 3? With iron or not? Oh wait that one is for fussy babies, that should be perfect for Bruce” They had a moment of loneliness in front of the baby food - way too much options: with or without meat “I don’t care what Damian says, he’s a baby, he needs meat”, with or without chunks, evening or day,... They came back to the manor completely exhausted with only half the things they were supposed to get. Hence the baby soap incident.

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The following happened to both Jason and Damian, though not on the same day. They were supposed to keep an eye on baby Bruce and were chilling with their favorite book doing so. After a few hours, they left him unsupervised for a handful of seconds - Damian wanted a cup of tea while Jason had to go to the bathroom.
Both thought “It’s a matter of seconds, what could happen?” What definitely happened is that they walked back in the room where they left Bruce to see the baby happily tearing off the pages of their favorite book. Jason’s was a leather-bound copy of The Tempest, while Damian’s was his personal and annotated copy of Keats’ Complete Poems. They obviously never left him alone with books anymore.
I love your story so much .. it's been three days since i read it and i can't think of anything except for little Bruce 😀☺😍😚.. i even intend to do some art work for it .. hope for more.. please don't stop 😯😢😍💚💛💜❤💙 thanx so much fir making my days
Thank you honey! I’ll make sure we queue several things soon, with the holidays it was a bit on hiatus.Mod Else
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS AMAZING THANKS SOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!! YOU’RE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU!! -Mod Maca <3
I love your story so much .. it's been three days since i read it and i can't think of anything except for little Bruce 😀☺😍😚.. i even intend to do some art work for it .. hope for more.. please don't stop 😯😢😍💚💛💜❤💙 thanx so much fir making my days
Thank you honey! I’ll make sure we queue several things soon, with the holidays it was a bit on hiatus.Mod Else
Actually, the real reason why Tim’s method worked better than Dick and Jason’s is that after crying for a solid hour, expressing his anger to be put in bed so early, Bruce took time to observe his surroundings. He didn’t have the occasion before and after his naps and didn’t notice the boys retrieved his old crib, the one he slept in a while ago.
He got nostalgic trying to remember that blessed time and fell asleep thinking about his parents and how they may have behaved while he was so small.
He slept soundly and when he woke up, he didn’t make a fuss and just stayed in his crib cooing and playing with the teddy bear they bought for him.
Bruce became more calm and less fussy overall after this incident.
Do you know the meme thingie with the Gay Baby Jail? If so, do you think the boys would do that if tiny Bruce misbehaves?
Jay definitely would! -Mod Maca c:

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Damian reads baby books to Bruce because none ever did this for him. Bruce is annoyed because the plot is non-existent, but he does love the time spent with him even if he’d rather have the roles reverse.
Although we all know Damian also reads him Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, the Iliad, Plato, that kind of stuff. Classics. He also tries the series of books that includes Relativity for babies.
Baby Bruce also tried a few times to escape the diaper time by rolling off the changing table. Thankfully, his sons have good reflexes and could catch him before he got hurt.