play with fire

The kiss caught him off guard, not expecting it but certainly not unhappy about it. It was his instinct to return the kiss as roughly as he was kissed, leaving him breathless by the time they broke apart. It made the sting in his knuckles worth it and though some of his anger had melted away, Toby’s lack of glasses reminded him and he had more reason to go back and beat the bullies more. 

                 “Anything for you, Toby.”

Pulling the keys out of his pocket, he unlocked the car and opened the door for his brother, moving to place his backpack in the backseat. Abel was reminded why he had to do this, why he had to bring Tobias home. He wasn’t complete without his heart and soul, his other half. 

      “Are you hungry? We can get you something to eat?”

Resting his forehead against Abel’s for a moment, he sucked in deep breaths, trying to regain his composure once again. Even though he was the one to initiate the kiss, he hadn’t expect the sudden rush of emotion that came pouring out of him. He wanted to say thank you again, not just for the bullies but because he knew that those words were true. Abel had always done everything he could for Toby and he wanted to return the favour in every way possible. Protecting each other should go both ways and he would make sure no harm ever came to Abel. 

Abel had become his savior and he was going to be in his debt forever. Something about the boarding school had changed him, making him quieter and even more reserved, something he hadn’t thought possible. But as soon as they had made it out of the front gates, he felt free once more. He even smiled as he slipped into the passenger seat. The mention of food had his stomach grumble, and he nodded. 

  No words were necessary when his brother slipped behind him, using him as a shield.   As Toby grew older, he would be known for his intense glare, but he had to learn it from   someone, and that person was Abel. The closer the other boys got, the darker his glare   got, muscles tensing and hand clenching into a fist. One of the four stepped up, ready to  speak but Abel didn’t give him the chance, immediately swinging a punch that connected  to his jaw and knocked him back. His rage flared up and, oh, how he hatted these boys  for ruining Toby’s beautiful face, for bullying him and scaring him. 

     “If you EVER hurt my brother again, I will come back and       break all of your noses so badly, they’ll never heal properly.”

  Of course, he wasn’t done. Turning toward another of the boys, he swung again, fist meeting   his ribs. He had to hold himself back, not completely unleashing a fury of punches and keeping    the brothers from leaving. Glare still plastered to his face, he took Toby’s hand, ignoring the   throbbing in his fist from the punch to the jaw as he led him away to the car.

     “Let’s get you glasses, first.” He said once they were close to the car, giving Toby a soft smile.

No sound left him, too afraid to move or draw attention to himself. Although, the bullies had already seen him and moved forward quickly. He recoiled, waiting for the scathing blow that would be words or fist but it never came. They had stopped and Abel was movie forward instead. It happened quickly, almost in a blur, fists flew and sounds of pain came tumbling from his tormentors. His eyes widened, surprised by Abel’s words. Out of the two of them, Tobias was the one who lashed out. 

A part of him, the part that he knew was wrong, the one his parents saw in him, that part of him was turned on by the violent act and the taunt muscles in his shoulders. When Abel took his hand, he didn’t hesitate in following him without saying a word. They were always so good at being private about their feelings, they had to be, but the way Abel had acted and the anger had made Tobias crave him. 

He tugged on Abel’s hand, pulling him close. Leaning up he kissed him roughly, lingering on his lips. 

There was no time for neat folding or organizing his clothes by shirt and pants. Abel wanted to take his brother from this place as quickly as he could and never look back. He was going to make this weekend about the two of them and he was going to make their parents let Toby come back or move out trying. There was nothing that was going to stop him, nothing would quell his anger. Tobias was the last person to deserve any of this. 

With the bag full with various items and clothes, he zipped it up and turned to Toby. “Just one more thing.” Closing the space between them, he gave Toby a soft kiss on the lips. “There, now I think I can take you home. After we spend the afternoon together like we planned, of course.” Abel slipped the backpack straps over his shoulder before leading Toby outside, though he already had forgotten how he was meant to leave and would need his brother to lead the way. 

 Going home was a thought that made Toby uneasy but staying didn’t seem like an option anymore. He had never seen Abel so determined about anything and he didn’t want to stay at the school any longer. The weeks without Abel were long and miserable, he felt happy to leave. With the bag packed as best as it could be. His eyes shut for a moment, enjoying the feeling of Abel’s lips on his, god, he had missed it and him. “I’d like that,” he agreed. 

Abel stopped his movements to look at his brother, his features void of all emotions except determination. “If they kick me out, I’ll take you with me wherever I end up going. They don’t deserve you.” He didn’t know where they would go, but he would find them aplace. Even if they had to stay with someone for a while, until they could find their own place, he would make it work. Abel had no problems with dropping out of school to support them if it meant Toby would stay with him. His expression softened, as did his heart, as his brother spoke again. “I miss them too. Hopefully we’ll find a new pair just like ‘em.”

Reaching as far as he could under the bed, he waved his arm around until his fingers found purchase, pulling the bag out into the open. He dug around for the contacts, carefully pulling them out and carrying them over to Toby, presenting them in his palm. “We’ll pick you up some glasses on the way home. ” His eyes flickered over his brother’s face. “And maybe some bandages. We could probably find some with cats on them?” he added, smiling a little.

He started by packing clothes, lifting the folded garments out of the dresser drawers and dropping them into the bag. He was trying to keep it semi-organised, but he was also partially in a hurry, not too worry about making it look nice. So long as everything fit, he would be happy. At least without worrying about being too neat, he was getting it all packed quickly. “What other stuff should I make sure to pack?”

Tobias wanted to protest and say that he couldn't do that to Abel, not after everything he had already done for him. Nothing came out though because in the end, Toby was selfish. There was only one thing he loved in this world and it was Abel. He wouldn't be giving him up without a fight, not again. If this was his world without Abel, there would be no wasting his second chance. "We'll find a way to make it work," he said, voice full of determination to make that true. Unconsciously, he pushed at the bridge of his nose where his glasses would sit. "Thank you. I don't like not having them." 

He felt, rather than saw the contacts case pressed into his hand. At least with contacts he could help a little. Moving to where he knew the mirror to be and put the contacts in, one at a time. Once the first was in, things became easier and he could see a lot better even if the contacts irritated his eyes. Everything blinked back into focus as he turned back to Abel. "I'd like that. I don't like contacts." He scrunched his noise at the idea of cat bandages. "Maybe something less colourful?" 

"But I should be able to protect you from this." He couldn’t bear to see the swelling, the bruises and the cuts on Toby’s face, but his eyes remained on his, missing being this close to him and seeing the beautiful color of his eyes. Abel didn’t want to let go of him ever again. He’d always done all he could to make sure any potential bullies knew that messing with Tobias meant dealing with the big brother, but here, at this stupid academy, he couldn’t do that. That’s when he decided.

"I’m taking you home. I don’t care what our parents say, I can’t bear to see you like this." Already, he was determined enough that nothing was going to stop him. He would sooner join the military than stand by while Toby gets hurt. "If I leave now, I’ll spend every day worrying if this is going to happen again. So I’m taking you home." Hesitantly, he lightly touched Toby’s cheek again. He didn’t want to hurt him, but he couldn’t help touching him. "And glasses. We’ll get you new glasses."

It didn’t matter who tried to stop him. Parents, teachers, other students. Abel was going to pack Toby’s bags hold his hand, and walk him right out that front door. None of these damn people deserved him. Letting go of Toby for what he was determined to make the last time, he moved around the room, looking for his belongings. “Where’s your bag?”

Dropping his head to Abel's shoulder, he clung to his brother. He had missed Abel so much and now that they were together, it was going to be so much harder to let him go again. Tobias was more angry that he couldn't protect himself. This type of guilt wasn't what he wanted to give Abel. Just because his parents had sent him away didn't mean that he shouldn't be able to look after himself. Yet, there he was, covered in bruises and cuts that marked his face. "You can't protect me from everything." It came out soft, a gentle tone to his voice as he tried to comfort his brother. 

His eyes widened and he quickly shook his head. "You can't, Abel. Our parents..." He trailed off. As much as he wanted to reassure Abel that he would be okay, he couldn't. His parents expectations were weighing on his shoulders and he wanted to do right by them so he could come home. "We can't, Abel. What if they kick you out? I can't live there without you." He might not be okay at the academy but without Abel, Tobias wouldn't survive his parents. His resolve was quickly weakening with each gentle touch. "I miss my old glasses."

The fact that Toby couldn’t explain only seemed to make it worse. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around hi and hold him tight. He still hated their parents for sending Tobias away and now he could only feel angrier at the situation they had been put into. The door met resistance and he stopped pushing it open, his grip on the handle going slack.

The words surprised him, he had been sure that Toby would hold his ground but it seemed his words got through to him. Abel was very determined not to leave without seeing his brother and soothing his worries before they could grow into something worse. He waited patiently until Toby spoke once more, slowly opening the door. He didn’t know what to expect on the other side but what he did see broke his heart. His voice broke, only creating a small whisper as he tried to speak, but nothing came out. It caught in his throat and he had to stop possible tears from forming.

"Oh Toby," he finally whispered, closing the remaining space between them and gently wrapping his arms around him. He couldn’t stand seeing his brother like his, bruised and cut and, worst of all, he looked like he’d lost that spark in his soul that made him him. Being extra gentle, he leaned back, his hands going to cup Toby’s cheeks as gently and carefully as possible. “Toby, my beautiful, wonderful brother…” He didn’t know what to say, it was hard to form words when your chest aches so much. Suddenly, he felt extra horrible for being the reason he had been sent away and being unable to protect him from bullies. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

Whilst he couldn't see Abel's face, the small noise and silence that followed was sign enough. A hand dragged through his hair, trying to pull it back and make it neat. Everything was out of order and now he had upset Abel because of it. His hands itched to fix himself but he didn't know what he looked like or what was out of order. He felt small and insignificant. Everything he had done since he had arrived at the school had only worked against him. But he had tried so hard. He was catching up with his work and behaving because he wanted to go home. Not that it mattered, he could tell his parents about what was happening and they'd think he deserved it.

With Abel's arms around him, Tobias allowed himself to relax against his hold, burying himself against his chest. His arms around his middle, holding him tightly. It was like a wave of emotions over came him in that moment and he hugged his brother tightly. He had missed him so much. Tobias had spent days and weeks denying how lonely he was and how much he missed Abel. The letters and calls seemed like a disappointing replacement now that he had the real thing again. "I'm sorry, Abel." And he was, he should have told him what was happening but he was ashamed that he couldn't take care of himself.

Somehow, it felt as if there was more distance between them now than there ever was before. Abel rested his forehead against the door and let his eyes close, his chest aching. There was nothing worse than being so close, and yet so far apart. He thought he had felt it before, but not like this, not at this level. The words Tobias spoke caused him to worry even more, in fact he was almost afraid but, mostly, he was angry. He couldn’t be sure what his brother meant, but he guessed some other people were involved and he was going to make them pay, like he always did.

"Like..." He trailed off, unable to speak the words he needed to. The broke off at the sound of Abel's voice. He could feel the door opening and he held strong, still not ready to let Abel in. But when he spoke up again, Toby knew his brother was right. "Okay, just wait a second." 

His mind was racing during his drive, imagining all the bad things that could have happened. He could have gotten hurt, he could have been bullied, he could be failing his classes and stressing himself out, anything could have happened, and that thought alone drove him insane trying to think of each and how he would fixed it. The academy looked daunting, taller and brooding, towering over the trees and buildings surrounding it. Nothing, not even an intimidating building, was going to stop a determined Abel, and Abel was determined to see his brother. Parking the vehicle out in the front, he marched into the office, voice calm and almost cold as he asked for his brother’s dorm. After a bit of explanation as to who he was, the lady behind the desk gave him directions.

The halls of the academy was as bad as those for his high school, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care what anybody had to say. All he cared about was Tobias. Winding through hallways and staircases, he made his way straight to the room with the numbers he was reciting in his head. He knocked, and knocked and knocked and knocked. He wasn’t going home without seeing his brother. “Toby? Are you in there?” When he didn’t hear an answer right away, he knocked once more. “Please, if you’re in there… I just want to talk. I miss you.”

As soon as his dorm mate had left, Tobias crawled into bed and pulled his covers up. There was nothing in the world that could get home out of bed. He had completed his homework last night and now he had the weekend free. It was meant to be time he would spend with Abel and now, instead, he would spend it alone. It felt like a whole, quiet hour had passed when he heard it for the first time. When the knocking started, Tobias didn't stir from his bed. His head remained on the pillow and he made no effort to get up. Whoever it was, he didn't want to see them and he couldn't take another beating, not today.

The knocking didn't stop though, it was persistent, making Tobias wonder who it could be. And then he heard it, Abel's voice rang out as clear as a bell and his heart stopped. No. The last thing he wanted was for Abel to see him like that, helpless and blind. "Abel?" He called out finally, his voice sounding rough and gravely from misuse. Slowly he sat up, blankets pulled up around his chest. The voice definitely belonged to his brother and while his brain told him to run to the door, let him in; he couldn't. Abel should have to see him like this. "Abel... you shouldn't have come here."