But Ann was weak

Do you ever think about how Judas hung himself on an olive branch. Canonically, the symbol of reconnection and having mercy and in that way, he was asking for mercy. Or do you have other things you just do at 5 in the evening.

the point of art is not to be great but to make it transparently obvious that there is something wrong with you

The point of art is to let other people know that the thing wrong with them is also wrong with you

Getting friends in to musicals is hard because when they ask what it’s about you have to be like “15 year olds having sex” or “a plant from outer space that takes over the world” or “teenagers killing people for fun” or “Alexander Hamilton”

“7 minorities deal with crushing poverty and the looming specter of death by being a dick to their landlord”

“Sesame Street, but like… for adults”

“This one time in the 1830s a bunch of college students decided to fight the entire French government and…it didn’t go very well.”

“Argentinian gold digger teaches her country the joys of fascism.”

“Disfigured guy in the friendzone thinks his student owes him a relationship for teaching her how to sing.”

“Woman who sucks at being a nun becomes a homewrecker, flees from the Nazis with new family.”

“presidential assassins” 

“The ridiculously complicated love lives of anthropomorphic trains.”

The Newsboys’ Strike of 1899.

The secret life of cats

A factory that makes shoes, for drag queens.

A dance audition where whoever has the best childhood trauma story gets a speaking role.

Organ repossession

Jesus’ Crucifixion, set to funky rock

The first two Evil Dead movies condensed into one coherent plot and you’re the one who gets sprayed in blood.

So there are these monks…

So these two guys are writing a musical and get two of their friends to take part in it…

Ok, so like everything above, and a lot of Shakespeare jokes, mashed together.

Hey kids, let’s put on a show in a barn

All the people who have ever tried to kill a President of the United States hanging out together.

Somehow a love triangle is more important than the entire French Revolution.

Jesus and friends set to lighter funky rock

An Aristophanes comedy but with references to the Bush administrations’ lies about the Iraq war

a con man successfully swindles an entire town out of their money for weeks and does not experience a single consequence

the annual spelling be at a local highschool

lions experience a fascist coup

Sensationalist media, but with jazz!

A comic strip nobody likes, and not even the parts that are actually in the paper, just the meet-cute origin that doesn’t have anything to do with fighting smugglers

Man attacks inanimate objects, hooker cringes with second-hand embarrassment.

The Bible, just the regular Bible like from religion

A futuristic world with a surgery obsession.

The villain from the wizard of oz is a poor little meow wow.

Choosing a white guy to lead your union will only lead to him fucking it up for everyone

yeah no it’s a single chapter from war and peace in which a girl gets engaged twice and breaks up with both of them and by the end she’s in love with a secret third guy who’s already married

The Addams Family experience conflict for the first time in their lives.

Hades gives Orpheus a trial he knows he himself could never succeed at, but it isn’t just that Hades knows he would turn around. Hades has been failing this trial every single year. He shows up too early. He turns too soon. He is so full of doubt that even the natural order of the world, that Persephone will return to him, is not something he can trust. Hades would fail the trial he has given Orpheus, and he already has. All alone, his blood runs thin.

basically the whole bible happens to me daily

basically the whole bible happens to me daily

Remus...Is that you?

people who write poetry are so scary literally how the fuck did you do that