The Toadstool Archives

Charlie Morningstar

• generally, I don’t think Charlie would mind getting interrupted much (especially if it was because of urgent matters)

• she would just be sad and disappointed

• unless you aren’t dating yet

• because she would be so giddy afterward, like in a “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe that happened!! *squealing noises*” type of way

• anyway, back to her being sad and disappointed, you can even see her slump over a little and pout for the rest of the day until you two get to be alone together again

• only if it’s been happening time and time again would she start to get frustrated and likely snap, yelling stuff like, “OH MY GOD, CAN WE GET A MOMENT?!”

———

Angel Dust

• it’d be like a, “o-oh—I—yeah—uh—sorry.” kind of thing as you two physically put distance between each other, lol

• actually, I think you’re likely the one who’d have more of a reaction than him

• unless you’ve been together for quite a while

• even then, I don’t think Angel would be the type to get frustrated over it

• he might get embarrassed or flustered more than anything (if it was someone who interrupted you two)

• he’ll probably be internally screaming, holy shit, over and over again while holding his flushed face with his hands

———

Lucifer Morningstar

• let’s talk about this in the context of Lilith (also, this is post-episode 8)

• it’s blatantly clear that he hasn’t moved on from her yet, so he’d probably feel like he’s betraying her

• I think Lucifer would be instantly aware of how he’s feeling. He’d likely already experienced it, after all

• he’d probably do a double-take after the moment passes and you’re already off somewhere else

• he’d try to avoid you as much as possible after that

• but if that fails, your interaction will be very awkward

• he’ll act weird and be all jumpy

• others would notice, as he’s not very good at hiding his expressions

• Charlie’s probably the only one who would do something about it, though she might also feel conflicted with helping her dad with feelings like these

• there might be a bit of Husk’s help here and there, but he won’t do something. He’d just talk and try to give him a little nudge in the right direction

• despite all that, though, he’ll still probably end up pushing you away

Husk

• Husk doesn’t give a shit about how you look (he’s shirtless with a bowtie on—he can’t really judge)

• what he does care about is the whole creepy thing you have going on

• it very obviously puts him off, but he’ll realize that you don’t mean any harm pretty quickly, so he’s fine with having you hang around the bar even if you just keep to yourself

• your gloomy demeanor is actually what makes him approach you, asking you if you want a drink on one random and quiet night

• you two would grow close if you accepted his offer since that might prompt more conversations between you two while he’s preparing your drink

• so we’re going that route

• but if you still choose to decline, he’d internally shrug and think, worth a shot, before going back to whatever he was doing

• anyway, he wouldn’t beat around the bush and would immediately start with a question about your general behavior

• you may or may not open up a bit from there on out

• and Husk may or may not also open up about himself

• you two could be talking about the deepest shit so casually

• and it would look as though it’s just an everyday conversation since you two speak at low volume to each other

• when you start warming up to him, he doesn’t really pay much mind to it nor does he mention it

• but you’ll see him smile more often around you

———

Sir Pentious

• out of the three, Sir Pentious has the most opinions about your look

• probably because it brings a bit of vague familiarity from when he was alive

• but that’s about it

• your creepiness is what stands out to him more

• like Husk, it also very much puts him off, but unlike Husk, he won’t realize that you’re intentionally not trying to be creepy, so he tries to avoid you when he can

• until he directly had to interact with you, which isn’t actually that rare of an occurrence considering you’d also likely be a part of the hotel’s get-togethers

• he’d observe you from afar and get to know you through how you go about the exercises Charlie creates

• actually, speaking of Charlie, I’d like to think that’s how he gets to see that you aren’t what you seem at the surface (since I think you’d warm up to her first out of everyone)

• and by that extension, he’d become more comfortable around you and open (such as, finally being able to sit beside you without trembling from intimidation)

• these little things pile up until you start to treat him like you do with Charlie

• it felt really different now that your sweetness was directed at him

• he’d have *heart squeeze* moments whenever you do so much as help him up when he tumbles over from time to time (hc: he falls over easily)

• he might cry sometimes (very dramatically)

• he occasionally has thoughts about how he’s so grateful to have someone like you

• it’s…pretty sad, actually

———

Vox

• the only way I can see Vox interacting with you is because you’re also an overlord

• upon first meeting, he doesn’t bat an eye at your appearance (at least you’re somewhat well-dressed)

• he wasn’t put off by your creepiness, either

• you two would only start to get close with the right circumstances

• that being:

• you need to be competent, supportive, and tolerant

• as in—being independent, helping his business in some type of way, and not caring about the terrible things he does

• (getting along with Valentino and Velvette is optional)

• after you qualify with all of these and with a little bit more time spent around each other, the walls start tearing down

• which is where the sweetheart thing comes in

• and…he doesn’t really care

• I know, all for that and he doesn’t even care

• as long as it’s only directed at him

• he’ll get a little irritated if you’re like that with someone else as well

• but actually, being a sweetheart might do good for his psyche since he deals with temperamental people constantly (I wonder who)

• he’d be more lax around you as a result

Sir Pentious

• he’s not used to it and is uncomfortable with it (he makes a weird face every time you touch him)

• he’ll be fine after you two become close, though

• but don’t try to overdo it

• if he likes you romantically, however, he blushes crazy every time you touch him

• he doesn’t really have a favorite one

• he turns red no matter what

• and his love language (receiving end) is more about words of affirmation, anyway

———

Lucifer Morningstar

• if you’re together with Lucifer, he’s likely smitten with you, so he becomes really giddy whenever you give him affection

• he probably starts stimming (doing little kicks or squealing)

• this guy loves to be held a lot

• oh, but he loves it when you nuzzle into him

• his favorite is forehead touching

• it’s really tender and he melts at that type of affection

———

Adam

• usually, every time you touch him, he’ll think that you want to get down in the sheets with it

• so he’s confused whenever you don’t escalate any further than a kiss

• he does that thing where even when you pull away, he’s still leaning toward you, eyes fluttering

• he’ll probably get used to it

• his favorite is when you just cling to him

• if you’re not short enough to do that, he loves it when you just put your head on top of his while you two are curling up on the couch (he finds it cute)

• he also loves getting massages from you

———

Lute

• she’s not affectionate in general nor is she a fan of it

• so if she’s not that close to you, you better back the fuck up ’cause she’s going to take that as a genuine attack

• it’s worse if you do it out of nowhere (seriously, you will end up with a broken arm)

• but, if you two are sort of close and she’s used to your affections, she’s aloof to it all

• she will even start to initiate them herself unknowingly

• it’s because she mirrors the people she likes, which is not a lot, lol (everyone does this—I think—but Lute’s just more noticeable)

• back rubs are her favorite (not full-on massages, though, just a little rub after she gets done working out or something)

• she might like head pats, too (she feels praised whenever you do it. This works exceptionally well if you’re taller than her)

———

Vox

• he’s not that physically affectionate

• unless it’s sexual

• he’d be pretty weirded out if you just wanted to hold hands or something

• but after he gets used to it, he becomes nonchalant about it

• he’ll start grabbing your hand on his own accord (it becomes instinctive)

• he’s fine with PDA, but don’t try to be all lovey-dovey when he’s in conversation or dealing with someone else

• his favorite is when you two are just snuggled up on the couch doing your own separate thing

———

Zestial

• I added him in because I wanted it to be even

• anyway, he’s more hand-kissing and linking arms type of gentleman

• and the most he’ll do in public is link arms

• he thinks displays of affection should be private

• even then, he’s not that physically affectionate

• he doesn’t have a favorite, but considering that he’s cold-blooded, he quite likes it when you snuggle onto him and make him warm (this only works well if you’re just as tall as him, lol)

———

A/N: The next three requests I’m going to post at a much later date will probably suck ass. Sorry to the ones who send those in. And for making you wait a long time as well. If they even remember…

Charlie Morningstar

• she’d be a little surprised since she’s usually the one who initiates it

• but she gets over with it quickly and becomes really giddy about it

• you two go, “Mmm!” every time you hug (not a high-pitched “Mm!”, more like—“MMMM!!”. It likely depends)

• she’d probably give you tons of hugs after each exercise, especially if you did well (and if you’re a patron, that is)

• she also probably gives you quick and several pecks on the face

• she doesn’t really have a favorite one, but she loves being held

• overall, probably the best one to be affectionate over

———

Vaggie

• generally, she doesn’t like touch that much

• but if she likes you enough, she’s fine with mild touching (like on the shoulder)

• if you’re together, then by all means

• she’s usually the one who initiates it, though

• but unlike you, who’s so restless about it, she’s more on the casual side of affection

• she also doesn’t really have a favorite but loves holding you a ton

———

Angel Dust

• touched-starved, probably

• but that of course doesn’t mean he’s fine with you getting all handsy with him

• like, woah, lay off the merchandise! He doesn’t come for free

• he gets pretty confused if you do it without an ulterior motive of wanting something more

• but once he gets used to it, he loves receiving back rubs from you after a long day at work

• he also melts at any tender affection from you

———

Alastor

• very obviously differs if you’re a woman or a man (non-binary and others are in between, I think)

• he’s more tolerant if you initiate it out of nowhere and you’re a woman, even if you two aren’t that close (as long as you’re not someone like Susan)

• flirtatious intent will not be put up with, however

• actually, depending on what you do, it might go past his head and he’d think it’s just all innocent

• if it’s obvious, he’d either get uncomfortable or he’d hide the fact he’s uncomfortable (depends if he didn’t expect it from you)

• if the touching is what Angel Dust would do, radio static suddenly starts to play

• if you’re a guy, don’t even try, lol

———

Husk

• if it’s too early in the relationship (not romantic, just in general), he would be hissing at you—possibly growling

• but if you’re the type to be affectionate after getting close with someone, he doesn’t mind all too much

• he’s fine with anything just as long as you don’t try to do all those things while he’s busy as the bartender

• don’t try to overdo it in public, either

• in private, however, he’s all yours

• he loves it when you give him shoulder massages or back rubs

———

Niffty

• she doesn’t mind at all

• by at all, I mean at all

• but she usually initiates it, though

• mostly by climbing on top of you like a tree gremlin

• her favorite is when you pick her up and let her sit on your shoulder or head

Lucifer Morningstar

• I don’t think Lucifer would even know that the word mental health exists

• wait, no, scratch that—he explicitly said he has depression

• actually, y’know what, maybe he heard the term depression through Lilith or something

• because there is just no way he knows what mental health is

• he’s been a hermit ever since the beginning of humanity (after he got banished)—how would he know?

• but, uh, anyway, back to the headcanons—

• he doesn’t know you specifically have OCD

• he just thinks what you’re doing is pretty normal since he’s also neurodivergent himself, so he relates to some of the things you think or do

• he’s very supportive

• he healthily alleviates your worries

• he never pushes them away or make it seem like you’re overreacting

• but, uh, constantly reassuring you would very much drain him

• Lucifer is also a man who requires many reassurance

• one of many habits you picked up is constantly checking up on the guy since you know he also has issues himself

• it gets worse if Lucifer’s depression takes a massive decline

• you’re constantly knocking at his office door, calling out his name to make sure he’s okay

• Lucifer usually doesn’t have the energy to respond during those times, so your worry doubles further

• this is unfortunately not an uncommon occurrence

• moving on, you two often try to get the other to come back to bed (you both struggle with sleeping)

• be it because of your compulsive behaviors or him hyperfixating on finishing his rubber duck projects that you both lose track of time

• so what happens if it happens to the both of you at the same time?

• uh, it’s just not good

• you two will regret it the next morning

• you two are basically barely functioning together, but are trying to be better for each other

• and for Charlie, too

———

Adam

• I don’t think Adam would notice anything at first

• but if you two see each other quite often (maybe living together), he would pick up on some of your quirks

• he would hate how particular you are about many things

• like, what do you mean it needs to be like this? What do you mean this needs to be exactly like that? And what do you mean that has to be like this? Why can’t it just be the way it already is?

• your anxiousness also irks him

• like, why are you like this? You live in Heaven, for fuck’s sake! Why are you so worried?

• he, uh, “reassures” your paranoia not very healthily

• “Oh, that? Pshh, you’re fineee.” “Don’t worry ’bout it.” “Stop being so paranoid.” “Jeez, you’re overreacting.”

• it’s even worse if you’re bothered with things such as messes since Adam definitely does not have cleanliness as a trait

• his home is usually cluttered unless he uses his powers or gets someone to do it for him

• if you have trouble with time management, don’t worry about accidentally waking Adam up late at night ’cause he has a shitty sleep schedule

• you also don’t have to worry about that since he’s probably a heavy sleeper

• actually, he probably either sleeps in until the afternoon or takes afternoon naps after a sleepless night

• those times when he’s awake at ungodly hours are when he notices your habits

• if you don’t want any of the behavior I’ve mentioned, please educate him because he will most definitely not do it himself

• don’t be afraid to speak your mind because he obviously can’t read it

• but he won’t exactly make things easier for you

• unless it’s convenient for him

• he’ll just tone himself down a bit (his words, I mean)

• but he’ll slip up from time to time because he’s just very used to not being mindful of the things he says

• overall, just know that he’ll get annoyed and frustrated with you at times

• ...uh, yeah

Why do you take so long to answer requests?

Busy.

Even when I’m not busy, I’m usually exhausted, so I don’t get to write much of anything anyhow.

Why don’t you write oneshots anymore?

It takes such a long time.

Most requests are anonymous, so they might assume I won’t respond to/won’t write their request and never see them when I actually post it.

It’s also because it’s exhausting.

I tend to alter a ton of things in between before I consider it complete. Consistency can fall apart because of the changes made, which in turn makes my motivation go all wonky when I try to fix it.

So, for the sake of this blog and mine, I’ll just be occasionally writing them. By that I mean I’ll decide when I should or not.

When do you decide to write oneshots, then?

I plan on making most of them from ideas I came up with. I don’t want to make people wait more just because I want their idea to become a oneshot. If I really want it to be a oneshot, though, I’ll write the headcanons and the oneshot. But in separate posts, of course.

Why do you rather want requests with (insert personality trait) Readers?

(referring to my How to Request)

I’ll sometimes struggle with characterization/how characters would treat you since that depends on how you act around them. I sort of want to avoid writing too much of “if you were (this) or (that)” in headcanons.

Do you answer requests in order?

I try so hard to, but I can’t. Some requests just give me more motivation than others and some just take more time.

Will you ever write smut?

No. The most I will do are suggestive stuff or inexplicit descriptions of it.

Will you ever write Canon x Canon?

No. If it’s poly, it’ll depend on who.

Will you write for Alastor romantically?

Under certain circumstances. To be more specific, if I get to explore his orientation through it, then yes. Otherwise, the relationship will usually be unlabelled.

———

Angel Dust

• Angel will try to find your parents at first

• but once he realized that you didn’t know or have any family you could go to, he was quick to bring you to the hotel, as it was probably the only place in Hell that was safe

• after you two went inside his room, he quickly started to hide his inappropriate items from your sight, shoving most of them in his dressers and whatnot

• he’ll stop midway when you dove onto his bed, wrapping yourself up in his blankets

• it was then he noticed that you were shivering

• “Aw…” Angel’s voice was soft as he clicked his tongue. “Here, I have more for you.”

• you quickly fell asleep all warm and fuzzy that night

• only to have the bed full of moss and mushrooms the next morning

• anyway, about that, it’ll probably make him feel bad for you even more

• it’s even worse when you’re so nice and polite

• your innocence hurts him (It’s old info, but it was said in an old stream that Angel values innocence)

• but, uh, moving on from that, Angel’s fine with you clinging to him like a koala

• he has four arms (six if he extracts the rest), and he doesn’t mind sparing one to carry you and keep you warm all the time

• and speaking of keeping you warm, you two would most likely sleep in the same room and the same bed, so you two get to cuddle each other every night

• if Valentino wasn’t making him work his ass off that day…

• he finds it comforting, actually, seeing you wait for him while you played with Fat Nuggets

• or your sleeping form if he was coming back late

• it makes his afterlife in Hell just a little bit better

• and during those times he does find you sleeping, he takes the time to sit beside you, gently stroking your head as he holds onto the hope that if Charlie’s silly little dream really did work, he can get you a better life up there than anything he has to offer down here

———

Alastor

• well, don’t you just fit right in with the bayou portion of his room?

• he might enjoy watching you struggle to clean up after yourself at first, actually

• if you were a boy (or masc-leaning)

• that also applies to any other gender except for girls (or fem-leaning)

• if you were one, he might be more nice to you

• regardless, Charlie will probably tell him to help you since you’re his responsibility

• so he’ll give you a shadow minion to clean up your messes

• if Niffty isn’t on your tail already

• other than that, he won’t really help

• so don’t even try to cling to him

• he won’t hurt you, but he’s not hesitant to try to shake you off of him

• especially if it’s sudden

• he’s probably not even that warm, anyway

• he’ll also probably try to shift the responsibility of you to others

• by that I mean he just doesn’t take on the role of a parental figure that much (Husk probably looks after you more than him)

• unlike Angel and Husk, he won’t sleep in the same room as you

• the best you’ll get is a sleepover (in your room)

———

Husk

• shit, what do you want him to do?

• he can’t exactly do much about the plants-growing-out-of-your-body predicament

• or about your constant state of coldness, either

• well, maybe a little bit

• he’s quite soft and warm because of his fur, so you’d cling to him a lot

• he doesn’t exactly mind

• he just gives a grunt in acknowledgment and doesn’t even react at all after he’s gotten used to it

• you two would probably sleep in the same room, so cuddles are common

• well, uh, more like Husk passing out beside you is common

• actually, I think you two would sleep in separate beds at first

• the moment you asked if you could sleep beside him for warmth and comfort was when it became routine

• the question is: would he wrap his wings around you?

• ...I mean, if you asked

• he’s really not that opposed to many things

• just ask, and he’ll lazily comply

• while Vox is someone who owns (I think is) a multi-billionaire company and never had to think of not buying things he needed or wanted, he might agree with you about the money part

• he’s like Grunkle Stan from Gravity Falls or Scrooge McDuck (rich as hell but doesn’t like wasting money)

• but the thing is, he owned technology

• if it were any other stuff, he would be okay with it (it’s your money, after all. You do you)

• but it’s literally what his brand is built around

• he could just…give you a new one

• “No! I don’t want a new one.”

• he’d take offense to that

• because he already put all of your personal information in, from the apps you downloaded to your photos and, heck, your passwords, too

• and he did all of that without syncing it with your old phone (yeah, he knows everything—it’s not creepy at all)

• he knew you were complaining about the darn thing and decided to give you one

• so…why didn’t you want it???

• “Because it still works.”

• he’d just give you the deadest pan (not a word) ever

• your phone was old as hell, so the battery is pretty chemically fucked up

• it was also a device that he no longer puts any new updates in (because everyone else already moved on from it), so your phone was pretty outdated

• like, extremely outdated

• all of which meant that there would be some slight difficulty with communication

• and this man thrives from Facetiming you (he’s a busy guy)

• there would probably be more times you Facetime him than actually seeing him in person (assuming you don’t live with him. He probably has cameras there regardless)

• you’d keep complaining about how he keeps bugging out after a certain time has passed in the call or how it’s already gone down to 5% or how your phone is overheating because you’re charging it while calling him or how it’s just searing hot in general every time you use it—speaking from personal experience, lol

• it’s the reason why he decided to give you a new phone (he wanted longer calls without you having to hang up every 20 minutes because you needed to charge it)

• but noooo—your stubborn ass still insisted on using it because ‘it’s still working’

• ...yeah, no, he’s not taking any of that shit

• he’s still going to give it to you whether you like it or not

• his proposition is that, okay, you can use your old phone, but you have to use the new one for calls

• your introduction to her was literally indirectly burning a part of the hotel

• while she may not have liked the mess, one thing was for sure:

• you’re a bad boy

• so she was glad to know that you were going to stay at the hotel

• she instantly made it known that she liked you

• “I’m Niffty.” She approached you rapidly as she giggled. “I like you—”

• you interrupted her by pushing her off when she tried climbing on you

• “Get the hell away from me,” you seethed

• “Woah, woah, woah.” You flinched at the hand that tried to break you two apart. “What’s wrong?”

• neither of you replied to the princess

• Charlie sighed at the lack of response, and as both of you left the room to continue the tour, you gave Niffty a nasty glare

• she only grinned at that

• she would follow you around a lot

• and you would snap at her each time

• but she seemed relatively unphased

• that was your dynamic for a while

• eventually, her advances come to a stop when she realizes that you were a bad boy…

• ...who was just lonely

• yeah, no thanks

• Niffty stopped seeing you as a potential love interest after that

• and that was when your friendship started blossoming

• because she was really the only friend you could make

• Charlie…tried liking you. But you made it difficult. You wreck the hotel at least once a week, you don’t participate in any exercises and prefer to sit in a corner to burn shit, and you just…didn’t have any redeeming qualities. But…she still had hope, so she’s still letting you stay

• Vaggie just distrusts most people who come her way, and causing problems in the hotel just increases her hatred for you more (Charlie’s the only reason why she hasn’t kicked you out)

• Angel Dust just knew not to mess with you

• Alastor didn’t like you for causing problems in the hotel as well, surprisingly (he doesn’t have much male friends, so, no luck here)

• Husk also knew not to mess with you

• and you spook the fuck out of Sir Pentious even if you’re on the other side of the room

• that leaves you around Niffty quite often

• you like her because she doesn’t judge you

• and Niffty felt the same

• you watch her frame her dead bugs nonchalantly (you help her do them sometimes)

• you also even help gather them by setting them on fire (Niffty stashes the ashes in jars, categorized by species)

• remember in episode 3 where Niffty confessed her secret about killing mother bugs in front of their children? You laughed at that

• the other residents may think you two are an odd pair, but who cares?

Alastor

• Alastor paid no mind to the dead corpse

• it didn’t really look that appetizing anyway

• “How unfortunate.” You heard a weird voice from behind you as a hand was placed on your shoulder. “A child mourning in the demise of its mother. Tragic, really. You have my condolences.”

• “What are you talking about, mister?” You stared up at the mysterious man, watching his eyes flick from your left to right eye while his grin only grew as the seconds went by

• “I think you’ve just found yourself the perfect dwelling,” he abruptly said, letting go of your shoulder to fix his bowtie as he sprung back to life. “Why don’t you come with me?”

• “But what about my mother?”

• “She is in good hands, I can assure you.” He offered his hand to you. “Come along, now. Children shouldn’t dwell long in places like these.”

• and so he took you in to be a patron at his hotel

• I mean, what’s more easier to redeem than a child? (assuming you’re a sinner. I don’t know if it’s canon anymore that only hellborns can reproduce. Look at Cannibal Town’s people)

• he intended to leave you in the rest of the residents’ care while they could only guess what his actual motivation was for taking you in

• but it seemed you ended up favoring him more than the rest

• you’d follow him around like a duckling—a lost puppy—you’re attached to him like a leech

• and you’re so well-behaved, too

• up until he leaves your sight

• he actually leaves the hotel a lot more often now because of that

• he finds you wrecking chaos in the hotel entertaining as hell

• and the fact that the others beg him to come back to calm you down

• I don’t think you would ever know what happened to your mother

• even when you talk about her a lot

• those rambles never really prompt him to say anything

• well, it’s not as if he knew what happened to her

• but, hey, at least he listens!

• maybe it’s because he feels a little nostalgic hearing the way you talk about her…

———

Husk

• Husk was fucking spooked when he found you lying beside your dead mother

• not because of the corpse, but because of the way you were staring at him

• with eyes dull and wide open, just like your mother

• while Husk wouldn’t have given two shits if it was a grown-ass adult, you were a child

• so he took you in

• “But what about my mother?”

• “Shi—I, uh—your momma will tag along soon. Now c’mon. She wouldn’t want you out here alone.”

• since Husk is constantly around the hotel, there were never really instances where you wreaked havoc

• you just silently watch him tend the bar and sometimes talk about your mother

• your talks about how much you love her make him feel pretty guilty for some reason

• but he’d probably tell you when you’re older enough

• only if you were asking him about her though

• he wouldn’t want to have to sit you down and tell you something that sensitive of a topic when you didn’t even ask

• “Why don’t I have a mother?” you would suddenly ask when you turned 18

• today was your birthday. Charlie insisted on having a little party for you just like every year. But you didn’t want one; you wanted to be with Husk for the day

• the man in question sighed

• he knew you were building up the courage to ask all day

• “I’m gonna give it to you straight, kid, I don’t know what exactly happened to her. All I know is that she’s in a better place.”

• “Oh…”

• “Do you…wanna talk about it?” He continued, voice a little unsure, “Not as a bartender…but as a dad.”

• you smiled, grateful. “I think I’ve already said plenty when I was younger. But thanks, Dad.”

• he smiled back

• you two would then sit in silence together, basking in each other’s presence

———

Vox

• so, uh, I’m going to have to completely skip the taking you in part with Vox because I genuinely cannot see him adopting a random child (unless he could gain something, but, like, you’re just a kid)

• so you’ll just get the aftermath of it (hope that’s okay)

• based on the way he handled Val’s tantrum, I think it’s safe to assume that he’s somewhat good with children

• but he’s a pretty busy guy

• he doesn’t have the time to take care of a random child, so he’d make sure to keep an eye on you on his cameras

• but despite that, your existence in the tower warrants his

• as you’re too chaotic whenever he isn’t around

• but only around the other expendable employees

• you’re relatively well-behaved when Velvette and Valentino are with you

• but he doesn’t exactly trust them to take care of you

• they aren’t exactly good with children

• so he tried doing video calls

• you will definitely grow up as an iPad kid

• he’d hear you talk about your mom during those calls

• he’d let you go on and on, but it’s not guaranteed that he’ll listen

• I don’t think he would ever tell you what happened to her (he doesn’t know, anyway)

• he won’t lie, he’d just work around your question

• skillfully

• like, extremely so

• even if you ask him directly, he still manages to dodge the question somehow

• ha, this man is also sensitive himself

• well, sensitive about himself

• he feels his own emotions strongly, so he’s not the caring, easily able to pick up on other’s feelings and empathize type of sensitive

• you, on the other hand, are on the opposite end of the spectrum compared to Adam

• so you experience other people’s emotions just as strongly as yours

• you easily know what makes someone tick

• you’re selfless

• you’re able to admit your mistakes and apologize

• you’re respectful and actively listen to people when they talk about themselves

• you don’t push people down to make yourself seem better

• you try to make everyone feel good and comfortable

• you’re everything he isn’t

• because you fit in Heaven perfectly

• you deserve to be there

• and Adam knows that he doesn’t belong (subconsciously at least)

• you’re able to draw people in just for being yourself

• and he’s envious of it

• so he demeans you and is snarky about everything you do, and every time people give you praise or affection, he tries to divert the attention to himself or just stares at you with utter hatred from afar

• although all of that is just when he hasn’t even had a conversation with you

• after a while of being around you, he’ll cling to you because you give him the reassurance and validation he oh-so craves (he acts as if he didn’t hate you before. What do you mean? You two were always buddy-buddy!)

• you acknowledge all of the things he puts his worth to

• heck, you hang out with him—you sometimes even initiate it—willingly, and you’re genuinely interested in everything he has to say

• but he‘ll only hang out with you where no one recognizes you (so you don’t get all the attention)

• terrible transition here, but he notices that you mimic people’s expressions often

• he definitely makes fun of you for it

• and also mocks you

• up until he realizes that you do the same thing to him, too

• which is fine and all, if only you didn’t do that when he’s upset

• well, you mimic him when he’s joyous as well, but he already (subconsciously) expects you to. I mean, why wouldn’t you? He’s fucking hilarious!

• so you copying his negative emotions just stands out more

• and he…doesn’t like it

• that’s only really what he doesn’t like about you

• and the fact that you hog all the attention

• and the fact that people see you as perfect…

• buuut what happens when he gets to see a new side of you that isn’t exactly upholding that image?

———

Your phone lit up from your bedside table, brightening your otherwise dark room along with the soft glow of your halo. You only moved your eyes to the light, not wanting your tears to spill and dampen your pillows.

You had an inkling as to who was texting you this late—if the fact that your phone lighting up several times in the span of 5 minutes had anything to say.

When the texts stopped pouring in after a few seconds, you heavily sighed, wings ruffling. You resisted the urge to rub your face as you went to grab your phone.

HEY (2:34) HEY (2:34) HEY (2:34) ARE YOU UP? (2:35) I’M BORED (2:35) GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE (2:36) IF YOU’RE UP (2:37) ARE YOU? (2:38) DID I TELL YOU THAT BITCH WITH THE HUGE TITS GOT FIRED TODAY? (2:39)

Figured. Of course, it was Adam. He was the only person you knew who’d be awake at this ungodly hour. And the only person you knew who’d disturb your peace if it meant curing anything that ailed him. Which was now about boredom, it seemed.

You read a few of his texts displayed on your lock screen before tapping one of the notifications and opening the app, scanning the rest of the unread messages.

Adam was going on about ‘that bitch with the huge tits’—her name was Tiffany, you were sure—and how she was rumored to have slept with an archangel to assume higher authority. He also went on to complain about how he didn’t have the chance to bed her anymore since she was basically deemed an outcast and that he couldn’t be seen with someone like her.

You frowned, not believing any of it, but you didn’t have time to think about it enough when he began typing again.

SO YOU’RE AWAKE (2:43)

You barely finished reading the new message when another one popped up.

DON’T IGNORE ME BITCH (2:43)

You frowned deeper, quick to type out a reply.

i’m not (2:43) i was just reading your texts (2:43) don’t worry (2:43) i’ll be there soon (2:44)

When he stopped typing, you placed your phone back on the nightstand, sitting up on your bed as you carefully wiped away your teary eyes. You hugged yourself for a moment, wings functioning as a cocoon while a hand tugged on your hair.

Today had been draining—both mentally and emotionally. Just like the day before, and the day before that. But you didn’t want to think about it, lest you start to cry some more and smear your face with tears this time. What mattered was that everyone was back on their feet again.

Since you didn’t bother changing into your sleepwear when you got home, you only checked your face in the mirror to see if your eyes were puffy or not. You then took in deep breaths, holding up your drooping wings before putting up a charming smile.

You couldn’t stay in the bathroom for long, quickly leaving to tread the path to Adam’s.

•••

“BOO!” Adam’s masked face suddenly peeked from the corner of his hallway, earning an indescribable scream from you as you jerked back. He burst out laughing, brows creased in confusion but also amusement. He couldn’t even make fun of you for getting scared. “What the—what the fuck was that scream?”

Recovering rather quickly as you blinked, you only smiled at him. You were expecting him to wait for you on his couch as his front door was left unlocked, but you weren’t complaining; his action took away any drowsiness you just had.

When Adam didn’t hear you laugh with him, his laughter subsided as he opened his eyes to look at your face. He raised his brows and placed the back of his hands on his hips. “What’s up with you?”

Shit. There was no way Adam was seeing through you.

“Nothing; I just love hearing you laugh.” You heard a tiny squeak in response. “Anyway, what did you make me come over for? Surely not just to scare me.” You moved past Adam and tightly crossed your arms, entering his spacious living room.

“Pshh, fuck no. You’re so easy to spook. Though that was a first. Didn’t know you could hit high notes, (Name).”

You didn’t know what to say to his…compliment? And sort of insult? Was it really either of them? Should you thank him? But in a sarcastic way? No, you weren’t known for being sarcastic, so he might think you were being genuine and look at you weirdly. And it would also seem highly egotistical.

Not as if Adam had much to say about that…

You tugged at your hair when you caught yourself with those thoughts. Shit, that’s so rude! You can’t think that! You shouldn’t think that!

You settled on an awkward chuckle, making yourself appear smaller as you averted your eyes to his TV space.

It was different, certainly. The modular couch pieces were rearranged into a pit sectional. And it looked as though he had chucked a bunch of pillows and one large blanket as an afterthought. It appeared messy, but at least it looked cozy.

“What’s this?”

“Hm? Oh, well, since you were taking your sweet ass time coming here, I thought to switch things up a bit.” You flinched when his head appeared right on your shoulder. “What’d ya think?”

“It looks super comfy.” Adam wore a goofy grin behind you as you walked closer to the area and noticed that he already prepared snacks on the low table. “Is this a way to say you wanna do a movie marathon?”

“You know it, baby.” He flew past you and landed on the sofa, patting the space beside him with a smile you just couldn’t reject.

•••

Heaven’s natural light beginning to peek through the open windows indicated that it was already dawn. Thank goodness you didn’t have work today.

You two—or rather, Adam—had settled on watching the film series, Die Hard. Every single one. You didn’t mind, but you didn’t understand why Adam invited you over if you two were just going to rewatch the film series for the eighth time.

He had also been pretty immersed in the large screen in front of him, so he hadn’t attempted to converse with you ever since the first movie started. In all honesty, he could have just watched them all by himself.

But you didn’t question it. This time was the same as the last seven, after all. You always concluded that maybe he just wanted someone to watch movies with, no talking necessary. Even if the no-talking part sounded a bit out of character.

Was it though? Because he did that quite often. For instance, he constantly brought you along to whatever mundane errands he had to do during the weekdays and never really talked with you unless he found something cool and pointed it out.

Although, the earlier times you tagged along with him on his errands, he kept yapping his mouth off about the ‘totally awesome’ things he does. He talked about music, his own albums, his band, women, sex, and himself as the first-ever man.

As time went on, however, the talking was replaced with silence. You wondered if he just ran out of things to say or if he found it unnecessary to talk anymore.

You also sometimes wondered what was going through his head when he thought you didn’t see him glancing at you while he was doing something he believed was boring.

The sound of Adam’s stomach rumbling broke you out of your train of thought.

You both looked at each other blankly as if either of you were to blame.

He blinked to break the eye contact between you. “(Name), I’m hungry.”

You snorted, facing ahead. “You ate all of our snacks before the first movie even finished.”

“Don’t blame me.” He hugged the pillow he held tighter. “I’m still fuckin’ hungry, though.”

You hummed as you reached for your pocket. “Do you want me to—oh. I…I forgot my phone.” You frowned. You never forget to bring your belongings.

Adam merely stared at you, unblinking.

You averted your eyes and held your legs tighter. “Uhm, We could get delivery if you want. Can you lend me your phone?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” He casually tossed you the device before laying on his back and looking up at you. “I’m down for anything.”

His phone hit your knee before you could catch it, silently landing on the cushions. “Are you sure?” You picked it up, opened his unlocked phone, and stared at his basic home screen.

He didn’t really use his phone that often to know that it could be changed. He only really used it to fetch one-night stands or occasional dates, text, play music aloud, look at outdated memes, take random blurry photos, and right now, order delivery.

“Totally.” His crow’s feet displayed on his mask as he puffed out his cheeks.

“Because last time you said that, you didn’t like what I had to pick.”

“That’s because the 5 ʼn 2 is so fucking overrated!” he suddenly started to complain. Your wings ruffled. “Jeez, I swear, every fuckin’ time I take a chick out and ask her what her favorite eatery is, basic bitches always go, ‘Oh, bREaD & fIsH, ceRTAinLy’ or ‘bReAD & FiSh’S a cLAsSIC’” He used his hand as a puppet to imitate their words before waving it. “Like, helloooo? Can’t you see the joint that’s literally on the other side of the street’s a hundred times superior? It’s cheaper, too, unlike Bread & Fish. Overpriced ass. You get me, right—?”

“Then you pick!” Adam jumped at your volume, and your eyes widened upon noticing yourself. You quickly gave back his phone as you turned your face away from him, and he slowly took it with a weird look.

“Shit, chill, (Name). The fuck’s up your ass?” He kept his gaze on you before turning to his phone.

While he was serious about his opinions of your bland tastes, he didn’t think it was that personal. Your preferences were the same as everyone else and that was boring. He was just being honest. And you usually didn’t take the things he said that seriously.

“Adam, I’m sorry,” you spoke up after a moment of silence and ran a hand through your hair. “I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

“ʼs not a problem.” He was still a bit weirded out, but he was willing to shrug it off.

You insisted, however, “I mean it. I’m not mad at you.”

“Okay…?” he muttered when he saw a notification pop up from Lute. Her message consisted of how some of the exterminators got into a quarrel during roll call and the ones involved got injured in the process. She said she was going to discipline them.

Adam did not want to know what she meant by that and was most likely not going to stop by their place today.

“Really. I’m not. Sorry. It’s just that yesterday’s been…”

“Uh-huh…” At this point, Adam was not listening to anything you were saying. But when he still heard the static noise that was your words, he groaned. “Look, sweetie, I really don’t give a fuckin’ shit about your fuckin’ apology, ʼkay? I don’t fuckin’ care. Now what do you want?”

You saw Adam’s confused yet concerned expression after he looked up from his phone and immediately noticed that you were starting to cry. You instantly turned your face away as you carefully wiped your eyes.

“Sorry. Sorry. I’m not crying because of you.” You didn’t know if that was true. You didn’t know if you were crying because of his words or were crying because of everything else.

That was the first time he ever used a sweet petname for you in a long time. He only ever used that to demean or mock other people.

Shit. Stop thinking—you were going to cry more. But even after carefully wiping your eyes away, new tears kept flowing. You couldn’t stop. This was humiliating. You wanted to disappear. You didn’t want anyone to witness you in this state. It was mortifying.

“Shit.” Adam’s voice came out panicky as he held his hands out towards you, but he hesitated. Hesitated in what, he didn’t even know.

He…didn’t think you could cry.

Adam didn’t know what to do; this emotional shit wasn’t his thing. He couldn’t ask you to leave, he knew that much, but he didn’t want to leave himself. This was his place. Why should he leave?

So, he did the only thing he could do in this situation.

You suddenly felt something warm envelop you.

You didn’t look up, but you knew it was Adam. You could feel the texture of his robe on your hands and the side of your face. You could feel his hands on your shoulder blade, but you couldn’t quite feel his arms on you.

You stopped wiping your eyes for a moment.

No one had ever hugged you before when you were sad.

No one had ever let you be sad.

Adam heard you sob.

Fucking great. He made it worse. What the fuck was he supposed to do then?

But when he went to unwrap his arms, he felt yours slip around his midsection, pulling him closer than before as he grunted from your firm hold.

So you wanted to be hugged? Alright. Whatever.

Adam slowly hugged you back after you muttered a ‘sorry’ and loosened your grip.

The next seconds were silent, so when he heard muffled words coming from you, he looked down. You also looked up moments later when he didn’t respond, realizing he must’ve not heard you.

Your gaze softened as you two held eye contact, and with teary eyes, you smiled. “Thank you, Adam.”

Something about his expression changed, but before you could stare any longer, you felt a hand behind your head push you back to his chest as the arm on your back held you tight.

• it was a jumpscare for him

• you two had only been dating for a while, and you never really displayed any cat-like tendencies until now

• well, he knows you could purr, but not bite???

• “OW! WHAT THE FUCK!”

• “Sorry. You were being too cute.”

• he’d stare for a moment

• “HOW THE FUCK—”

• he was being soo dramatic about it

• didn’t even bite that hard smh (he’s bleeding)

• he probably gets chew toys for you after that

• and he carries one everywhere, just in case

• but you don’t use them

• like, why him? Of all people? He’s not a fucking toy!

• he eventually realizes that there’s a pattern

• you bite him when he’s not paying attention (on his phone or something)

• you bite him when he’s giving you kisses or other physical displays of affection

• and you bite him when his forearms are showing (the no suit jacket look he had in episode 8)

• after gathering this, he makes sure to be extra attentive when he’s doing those things

• because once he’s got it figured out…

• “Aha! Got you~” He poked you on the nose mockingly, successfully bringing you to bite the chew toy he whipped out at the last moment instead of his forearm

• while he was preoccupied with his victory, you opened your mouth, dropping the chew toy on the couch before you bit the wrist he held up in his triumph

• “FU—”

• anyway, on to the other cat stuff

• purring was a thing he knew you could do for the longest time

• he really likes hearing it while you two are cuddling on the couch or on the bed

• the sound’s just relaxing, y’know?

• he definitely looks forward to that cat behavior when he’s coming back home

• unlike knocking things over

• “(Nickname). Don’t. Don’t you dare.” The swirling of his left eye was a warning

• you flicked the glass filled with water anyway, watching it go over the counter and spill its contents all over the floor

• including the outlets, causing his screen to glitch out harshly

• “(͛⦚N̷̢̦̘̥͙͙̣̰̹̑ͬͮ̔̇́̑̈́̈ͧͨ̅͋ͣ͢͢͡ͅ⦚Ả̤̣⦚M̵̢̡̢̝̬͚̱̺̞͎̮̹̝̹̠̥̾ͩ̓ͮ̅̆̍͂́̍̅̎͛̐̿̈̚͘͜͡ͅ⦚Ę̫̤͇̪̞̖̺̪̩͖͖̬̺̈͆͑͋͐͛́́̈́͆̋̕͘⦚)͛⦚!͛⦚”