toad™️

*fucking someone nonbinary* you've been a bad person

I’m asexual and a faggot 🫠

the digimon movie is really good

I realize this is an animal crossing meme but as an astrophysicist I was really excited for a second that someone was finally seeing the light on how fricking difficult and a huge waste of time it would be to try to terraform Mars

*puts my cigarettes out on you*

*wuickly smokes it all before you can reach me*

oh a wise guy huh? *rolls up my sleeves* why I oughta…

*wuickly rolls your sleeves back down before you can hit me*

Unless you ask if they’ve already been fed. Then they both lie.

who is this... who is this question directed to? People who have some actual dietary reason to avoid fruit? Who looks at a fruit plate and goes “nuh-uh, not unless I have a week and a 20k cash prize on the line.” Is the fruit platter actually the size of a four door sedan?? Has it been poisoned? Who made this??

I hate pineapple with my entire soul and I’d eat that entire thing in an hour for $20,000 are you kidding me

the rubber duck

“when i say it out loud i realize where the stupid was”

On the inside on the bottom it says "this wizard fucks"