This fucking sucks…

Coworker told me drive home safe, I told them I’m going to their mom’s. Idk why I said that.

I don’t care but if you start shit I might care a lil

In this economy? Eating microplastics is to save money AND calories

It rained so hard I wet my plants

I got antiques roadshow on dvd. Let’s not start…

It’s nice have someone who loves me for me, no if ands or buts in between, just her in Victoria’s Secret and Tru Religion jeans.

You’ll never be happy if you never get dirty.

Oh I got paid? $100 coffee please.

Yeah that’s me sucking robot dick I’m gettin high-ish

Wearing Fear of God yeah bc you mfs never go to church 😭

I swear my girl never seen a seagull before

“I just saw a construction worker with one hand. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t be able to get a good job…”

At restaurant like, “No straw, I want to save the turtles. Extra butter on my lobster please. Thanks.”

Do they sell grey sweats with the bulge? All the ones I try on don’t have it…

I respect women ; can we fuck lol