Lightless inferno

Pasi Tammi (Finnish b. 1971) ‘I will endure anything’, 1999 Oil on canvas, 40 x 35 cm

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did you know that a candle flame is hollow? despite its glowing appearance, only the outside burns. it is not solid- just a shell of incandescent soot; on the inside, nothing at all.

like a moth to a flame. a flame to a flame? a cult leader to a stockbroker??? something like that

Natalie Niblack - Looking Toward Home, 2020

Dillon Samuelson Lit up, oil on canvas, 2021

— Anaïs Nin

Caroline Goessling

burning man sleep paralysis

They watch. You burn. It feels almost insulting, how plain reality is. You know that’s the truth. You KNOW there’s nothing more. No help, no aid, no pity, nothing but agony. You’ll never be used to it, though; the status quo never numbs, never lightens. Each seething moment a different shade than the last. Each stumbling step striking a different pain through your battered, broken, undying body. Nothing on this checkerboard of torture has struck you down yet. Your bones are charred, your limbs are weak, your skin is blistering and oozing, but they must see more. You turn your gaze once again to them: the eyes that eagerly drink in everything done to you. Everyone else. The world that walks by you with a trained gaze, never stopping their own walk. You know better than to call out for help. They don’t do anything. You’re sure of that now. In the beginning, this had given you hope. They weren’t doing this to you! They never hurt you, never activated the anguish that wrought your life as you know it now, they were safe. But that was only another kind of pain. You remember running out to the streets and rejoicing when you realized they saw you hurting. You weren’t crazy, you weren’t trapped in some silent suffering, others could see! They could see… but they did nothing else. It’s not that they couldn’t help you, either, you were sure of that as you stared longer and longer into their blank, watchful, faces. They could help you. They would simply rather see you suffer.  

yalnız kaldığımda.

Scars, India Lawton / Becca Stadlander / This Party Never Ends, Diana Zhuk / Burning House in Winter, Bettmann Archive / Daria Golab / Shadow Work, Indigo / Painting Disaster From A Distance, Motohide Takami / Burn it Down, Brian Luong / Red House, Morten Schelde

what does it mean to dream about fire, burning?

// "white fire" - angel olsen // alma queimada - linco7n // the road - cormac mccarthy // "arsonist's lullaby" - hozier // a new refutation of time - jorge luis borges // my chest on fire - melania brescia // sula - toni morrison