So let me get this straight.
We spent several pages eulogizing him and then theorizing if he was actually leading them astray, but now, he returned, he didn't make a single sign of "I'm okay!" or something to that effect??? What the fuck is THIS BULLSHIT???
WHY ARE YOU HUGGING HIM, HE FUCKING TRICKED YOU, HE FAKED HIS DEATH LIKE A MANIPULATIVE BITCH.
It's the fucking explorer equivalent of "This is So-and-so's cousin, so-and-so killed himself because of all the internet trolls". It's literally a death hoax. It's the worst kind of fucking hoax. You should be beating him to actual death right now. I know I shouldn't feel bad for Kathy and co, but I recognize it when someone is being a manipulative pigfuck, and somehow Trader Horn surpassed Limpdick???
@tjimmy1999 You know virtually everything about Kathy including what she had for breakfast this morning, was Kathy gonna kill Trader Horn off permanently but all the idiotic windowlicker fans of Carry On went "nooo but I liked him" so rather than go "tough luck bitch life sucks and then you die", Kathy went "ok, I'll spare him" and caved in to her stupid fucking fans? Because this smells like it. There was no fucking WAY Trader Horn was gonna come back to life, everything in the pages after his death implied that. So did Kathy cave in to fan backlash or was this always intended? I want to know if Kathy is a dogshit writer or more parasocial with her fans than Johnny Bonaqua?
Wait a second. There's something very off about him.
His hair is much darker and he looks different, his muzzle and nostrils are way bigger than it used to be and his pants are the wrong colour. This is not Trader Horn, this is his imposter twin brother, Trader Porn. He heard his brother finally died and got the clothes to vaguely match him and now he is impersonating him. I REALLY hope this really is an imposter, but even if it's never revealed. That's gonna be my personal headcanon just so I can pretend for a millisecond that my time didn't get completely wasted.
We end on a penis joke, STORM OF SOULS.
Yeah, Trader Porn's explanation seems too convenient. He knows his brother died but he made up such a fraudulent story he makes Tommy Flanagan seem honest. Apologies for being an unc.
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