meee im the bullshit hapening systemwise yayauayayayayayyy
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@tiredwintertime
meee im the bullshit hapening systemwise yayauayayayayayyy

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sunny: *scrolling tumblr* this person says they love their mutuals and we arent mutuals which means were hated and should die
me: girl no
sunny: damn.... youre right.....,
me later: *laying in bed crying* im useless and terrible and nobody loves me and i should die
sunny: but like. what if we were happy......
me: fuck youre so right
then repeat this every hour or so whenever were in front together.
if imuseless and terrible i hope i get to be uselsss terrible and happy. atleast. id lioe that.
and maybe i can live forever if i lie down and give up. if i sit just still enough maybe i can be safe.
if i never think about anything and stay firmly in the realm of comfort ill never be hurt. if i stop thinking ill never be hurt. if i stop ill never be hurt. im only safe when im nothing at all. do you understand this. i hope you dont for your sake. sorry

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no. i dont mean that. tomorrow i might get a slushie if im lucky. im so tired.
i hope i dont wake up
how do i say sorry i keep disappearing i was born yesterday and immediately spent a whole day crying over nothing and couldnt make myself open social apps also i want to stay here forever
i cant think like that. i want to live forever. i want to wake up tomorrow until the end of time. i want to get a horse plushie and i want to go outside and i want to read a book and i want to figure out my secrets. i have to want to be happy. i want to be happy.
im a terrible person arent i

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being a person is so exhausting. i have to talk and think and be awake and respond. cant i just sit in the corner and nose exhale every once in a while.
not sure what i am. am i a subsystem? part of a sidesystem? am i like those two? am i part of or split from sunny? am i just one guy? who knows. not me.
i feel so useless and pathetic. i guess that might be my personal brand of misery.
picture that i edited in our gallery app as a placeholder pfp. posting so i can delete from my device.
be me. born yesterday. instant misery. ok sure why not. guess ill die then. im so tired

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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