tofu

im sick of having crushes its time for the tables to turn and ppl to have crushes on me!!!!!

honeymoon is an interesting term because an actual moon made of honey would imply space bees which is pretty horrifying

I have a bath bomb from lush but no tub so I guess I’ll just have to eat it

Being a good girl is the best.

FACT OF THE DAY:  most turkeys look exactly like a human hand

am i the only one who is self conscious about my windshield wiper speed when it’s raining. like i gotta watch other cars to make sure im not being too dramatic

me about me: is she okay

i may be ugly but at least i have an ugly personality too. consistency is key.

me @ anything ever: it’s like that one episode of spongebob

I want to explore old abandoned homes with creaky floors and broken windows with you.

u all gonna die

if your girlfriend is cold, be a gentleman. put her in the oven for 40 minutes on 350. check often and serve plain or with white gravy

if u take the time to shave ur eyebrows off just to draw them back on at least make them somethin cool. a dolphin or baby dragon.