It’s On The Tin

comment reply to vengeance-paladin by groaaaaan: I think you’ve got personal issues that you’re projecting onto aromantic people.

comment reply to groaaaaan by vengeance-paladin: My having personal issues has literally nothing to do with my statement. Hate to break it to you but I’m far from the only one that sees a lot of Aromantic people as utterly insufferably arrogant and superior because they are Aromantic. Ever seen Gnosia? Racio is a perfect example of how a lot of them act. Utter, unshakable arrogance and self-righteousness.

1) A thin person with dark skin and black, coily hair wearing a yellow top stands in front of the aromantic flag with closed eyes, a green heart on their chest. Text around them reads: Black aros matter. ("Aros" is in green, the rest is in black)

The aromantic flag has five horizontal stripes, in green, light green, white, gray and black.

2) A thin person with medium-dark skin, no hair, a beard and brown eyes wearing a purple flannel shirt stands in front of the asexual flag smiling, with a dark purple heart on their chest. Text around them reads: Black aces matter. ("Aces" is in purple, the rest is in black)

The asexual flag has four horizontal stripes, in black, gray, white and purple.

3) A thin person with dark skin, long, colorful locs and brown eyes wearing glasses, a yellow hat, a green shirt, and black suspenders, smiling in front of a rainbow infinity symbol. Text around them reads: Black neurodiversity matters. ("Neurodiversity" is in rainbow colors, the rest is in black)

4) A black fist stands in front of a green and turquoise splash of paint, with text around it reading: All black lives matter. ("All" is underlined and hot pink, the rest is in white)

If you happen to be aro and ace, you may have seen a new ace flag floating around:

This was made by Instagram Black ace activist _aceingrace_ (see their profile here). The yellow stripe specifically stands for intersectionality and multiculturalism (plus joy), something that I think would be a nice addition to the aromantic flag (or any flag that doesn't have that, for that matter).

If you're wondering what was wrong with the original flag, it's the white stripe, which stood for "allosexual partners and allies", something that didn't sit right with many aces for obvious reasons.

Something similar is going on with the white stripe in the aro flag: it's defined as such:

the ‘platonic’ stripe - friendship/platonic and aesthetic attraction/queerplatonic relationships/family, the importance and validity of all non-romantic relationships and feelings and non-romantic forms of love etc.

That doesn't sit right with me as, without any shoutout specifying it's not a universal aro value and experience, it leaves aplatonic and loveless aroa estranged from their own flag.

So I've made an attempt at a new aro flag. Here it is:

I wanted it to match the new ace flag so we finally have the same amount of stripes!

It is not meant to replace the original aro flag, but rather be displayed alongside it for those who find it meaningful.

I just need the community's feedback on what meanings to assign to each stripe! Please, if you're aro-spec, take a couple minutes to fill in the form.

If you're an ally please please please spread this around!

Tagging some blogs for reach, please ask if you'd like to be removed!

@aromanticofficial @aroworlds @aromantic-official @our-aro-experience @our-arospec-experience @our-aroace-experience @aroallo-culture-is-archive @arospecawarenessweek @aro-polls @aro-and-trans-thoughts @aroaceqoutes @alloaroworlds @aro-culture-is @aroapl @aro-positivity @aro-pride-stuff @loveless-aro-culture-is @lovequeerblog @lovequeers @aspecpplarebeautiful @aspecpolls @a-spec-unity-blog @a-spec-community-issues @a-spec-tacular @aroacesafeplaceforall @our-queer-experience @queer-polls

Non aro and non aces need to know its okay to break structure and not get married or have kids even if they do want to date and/or have sex

They need to know just as much as any aro or ace person that they are not required to live a certain way just because they are allo. allo doesnt mean okay with patriarchy standards.

I PRESENT: A NEW ANALYSIS POST ON OUR ARCHERY QUEEN, PRINCESS MERIDA OF DUNBROCH!!! 😄😤🏹✨

Haha okay, but in all seriousness, I’m glad I managed to wrap up the loose ends with this post and get this out to y’all 😅 (sorry about the lateness, I’m fine but lately the combination of work and getting ready for fourth year has been pretty exhausting).

Obviously, as we all know by now, I love a good media analysis, and especially when you look at things from an Aro Lens – and it always fascinates me when I find a character that’s widely regarded by the community as an icon, if not perceived as arospec in some way! 🐸💚💚 Merida is no exception, and I loved having the chance to delve into her character and what (I believe) she represents for our community. Personally, I didn’t watched Brave as a kid, but watching it as an adult and being able to see all those points of tension at the beginning of the movie surrounding marriage – and especially how Merida’s dad described her as wanting to remain single forever and ride off into the sunset shooting arrows – was really relatable, especially as a young woman who’s kind of at that age where people “expect” you to start dating/thinking about things like long-term romantic relationships 😭😭

Anyways, I feel like I’ve covered most of what I want to say in the actual textpost for once 😂, so I’ll just sign off with a note that I will be sharing some extra art and stickers tomorrow. 

ARTIST’S NOTE: Since this is tumblr (and I can throw in more than 10 slides at once XD) I’ve just shared the rest of the post here! Link to the stickers. 

As always, feel free to let me know what you think! Do you see Merida as Arospec or an Icon for the Aro community?

[Image Description:

Slide 1: Title slide. Text says: “Canon Vs Fanon Aros, feature: Princess Merida.” The title shows a drawing of Celia sitting and reading a book, relaxing. Bottom text says “a textpost buffer series” and by “aro comics (the Instagram username)”

Slide 2: Note: For the following slides, information is quite text heavy. As a result, the original script written will be pasted here with additions of any visual notes if needed.

Slide Title: Intro

About: Princess Merida of DunBroch

Canon vs. Fanon – Circle Fanon

Basic facts:

Personality: Bold, courageous, energetic, freespirited, and a bit stubborn and rebellious

Loves archery, sword fighting, riding her horse Angus, and exploring!

A princess that rebels against traditional training and etiquette, the plot of the movie follows our protagonist on repairing her relationship with her mother after a falling out and an accidental curse.

Slides 3-4:

Slide Title: An Aro Icon

Why is do people think Merida is aromantic, or at the very least an Aro Icon?

Great question! To be fair, the movie doesn’t go into the topic of romance so there’s no canonical evidence to Merida’s romantic orientation.

Even so, however, the narrative presented resonates deeply with many aromantic viewers. Merida is ADAMANT about not getting married off (though this is based more in the fact she’s SIXTEEN and doesn’t know any of these boys, which is very understandable) and makes a point of it by rebelling against the archery contest her mother set up to pick her suitor.

Screenshot: A defiant Merida speaks in front of the gathered clans at the Highland Games. She announces: “I am Merida, first born descendant of clan Dunbroch. And I’ll be shooting for my own hand!”

NOTE: This is significant because the games are meant for the first born descendants of other clans to compete for her hand. However, since she has chosen archery as the competitive sport, and she is technically the first born of her own clan, this is a clever moment where she is able to use this rule to rebel and attempt to maintain her freedom!

Slide 5:

Slide title: Meaning

Her behaviour and portrayal really strikes a chord with the aro community, because we are often asked to engage in romance or marriage despite our discomfort. It’s empowering to see a character stand up against these norms!

Given the way amatonormativity also tends to insert as many romantic subplots as possible, it’s uncommon to have no love interest in a movie. Because of this, aros we rarely get to see a story and growth occur without romance, which makes Brave all the more meaningful. Merida’s growth and her agency as a character in this story feels a lot more relatable to us.

Slides 6-7:

(Continued from previous)

It’s because of these elements that many people will consider Merida an aro icon, if not aromantic herself (although this is more of a headcanon)! Also … she’s literally good at archery, which in and of itself is kind of perfect for an aro icon.

Also, Merida’s a Pretty Cool Character for other reasons too!

The focus on familial love in this movie is very heartwarming, and it’s not something you see too often in princess movies. There’s also the intersection between amatonormative ideals and feminism - Merida’s a strong role model for young girls. Though it may seem common now that there are strong/free spirited princesses/female characters in movies for children that take control of their own destinies, it wasn’t so much in mainstream media when Brave first came out.

And especially it’s uncommon to see princesses not have a love interest – historically, patriarchal society uses women’s relationships to men as a indicator of their value, so it’s important to have media that reflects how women can have compelling and complex narratives that feature their importance as a person independently too.

Slides 8-9:

Slide Title: Conclusion

Why is Merida’s existence important to aromantic people and beyond?

In short, it breaks romance norms and also gives aro people a fictional character to relate to! But before we wrap up, I wanted to address the discussion/discourse around “projection” of identity onto Merida – as some people have pointed out before, why is it that if a woman doesn’t show interest in a man in the context of a story should they be interpreted as gay or aspec? This does tie into issues of sexism for women, as mentioned before. But this being said, as an aspec woman I would say that it’s perfectly valid and good for LGBTQ+ to interpret characters to be like them/to have more diversity in interpretation, because we’re so far lacking in representation. It’s a good point to make/ask why we may view a female character this way, but ultimately its understandable, and not harmful/engaging in sexism, to imagine a character that we relate to be like us.

Overall, Merida’s storyline and character was quite groundbreaking regardless of whether or not she’s aromantic, and she’s VERY cool! And personally, I’m glad to have her as an icon for our community!

Slide 10:

Sources:

1: Screenshot from Original Brave Movie, sourced from an online clip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWbxhKTbTkA

Although I don’t quote any other direct sources for this textpost, I used the following sources for additional research and would encourage you to read them if you’d like to learn more!

https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2012/06/does-it-matter-if-the-heroine-of-brave-is-gay/258979/

https://disney.fandom.com/wiki/Brave

https://disney.fandom.com/wiki/Merida#Personality

Slide 11: A page full of sketches of Merida. The text: “Some Merida Sketches (Yes I’m still messing around with my art style)”. The sketches include a headshot of Merida smiling and winking, another half-body shot with her nocking an arrow, and a third chibi of her with her bow. All three sketches are coloured and shaded, albeit in different styles.

Slide 12:  A redraw of a key scene from the Brave movie. Merida is holding her bow as she defiantly exclaims: “And I’ll be shooting for my own hand!”

Chinese Canadian, Part 3/3

Annnnd here we have it, friends!! 🐸🐸 Thanks for coming along with me on this comic yet again. I think this is the first part of the comic I actually talk about the 🤝🏻 intersection of the aromanticism and Chinese Diaspora identity XD but nonetheless I hope it was interesting for all of you!

As I said towards the end there, I don’t feel that I have all the answers and quite frankly I’m still digging through all the implications of this intersection. On a positive note, it’s been healing to connect with more Asian Arospec folks over the years (I have met more since I wrote this!) and I’ve had many moments of good connection and understanding talking about the specific intersection of our identities 💚 And it’s at times like these I feel community is SO important - to understanding and accepting yourself, finding peace and appreciation and joy in who you are - it’s made a world of difference for me.

As always, I’d love to hear from y’all what thoughts you have on the general topic of the intersection of aromanticism and culture!

[Image Descriptions:

Slide 1: Celia speaks to the reader, “On the other hand, I feel like being aromantic subjects you to a lot of infantilization, which is something that already occurs when you’re Chinese.” 

Slide 2: “You’re assumed to be less emotionally mature for both groups, so I’ve found that to have a weird compounding effect there.”

Celia is depicted with a weary expression in front of a number of speech bubbles that reflect the stereotypes towards both Chinese people and aromanticism. They read: 

“People who’ve never been in relationships are just going to be less mature, you know? It says something about them”

“Well, Asians tend to be more childish than their peers”

“You grow up more sheltered, so you don’t really have the same level of experience westerners get”

“He’s still living the bachelor life? When is he going to grow up and settle down?” 

“Are you sure you’re not just like emotionally stunted or something?”

“OH you don’t get it, you haven’t fallen in love - don’t worry, you’ll understand one day” 

“You tend to be more emotionally stunted is all”

Slide 3: A cutout portrait of her continues speaking, “And maybe … the most complicated thing about all of this is that even though I’ve never received any pressure from my family to live up to any of these stereotypes, because of the way I’ve been treated by society as a whole –”

Below, she is shown from the side view. She is sitting on the floor with paper sketches of the stereotypes from the previous part of the comic. The sketch she is holding is of the “Lotus Blossom” stereotype.

Slide 4: Shot switches to front view of Celia, still staring down at the sketch she is holding. “- I end up feeling a lot of self doubt for my orientation. Or maybe even a degree of guilt because my existence as Chinese and aromantic seems to “validate” harmful stereotypes from both groups?”

Slide 5: She looks up from the sketch, directly at the reader. “I’d hate to admit it, but after everyone keeps assuming and sometimes literally telling you a certain type of person” 

Slide 6: “… you start to wonder if you are that person, too.” 

Celia is drawn in front of a mirror. She holds her hand up to her reflection and stares blankly at herself with a weary expression. 

Slide 7: [blank slide]

Slide 8: Celia speaks at the reader rubbing the back of her head with one hand again, but with a sheepish smile this time. 

“So yeah … I, as per usual, don’t really have all the answers. Being visibly Chinese, and also very explicitly arospec is of course, a fairly uncommon intersection of identities (although hey, as more people realize they’re arospec? Could change).”

Slide 9: 

She grins now, “I hope that you’ve appreciated this mini-series either way though, and that I could have shed a little light, at the very least, onto the experiences of one Chinese Canadian gray-aromantic girl.”

Chinese Canadian, Part 2/3

I don’t actually have much to say about this part that I haven’t already covered in the comic 🤔 Maybe just that I’ve thought further about the stereotypes I’ve drawn here, and I wonder how much being exposed to them had influenced my perception of myself a few years ago … though I’m not sure how I would articulate it in the context of this post description 😅

Maybe it’s the performance of feminity and sexuality to contend with an “unconventional” orientation (allosexual + aromantic)? Feeling like there’s something to prove to try and break away from stereotypes? Much to think about 🤷🏻

But yeah to any other EA folks out there please let me know if you know what I’m talking about or if it’s just me haha

[Image Descriptions:

Slide 1: Celia speaks towards the reader, rubbing the back of her head with one hand as she looks off to the side. 

“People have always kind of just … assumed things about me because I’m Chinese.” 

Slide 2: “Growing up, people who didn’t know me well would speak to me in a way that assumed I came from a strict family, with “tiger mom” kind of parents (even though that couldn’t be further from the truth)”

A scene from Celia’s younger years, where she has longer dark hair left down. A classmate speaks to her while they sit on the floor of a gymnasium. The classmate says ‘... and of course I’m not allowed to try ONE hobby she thinks is useless. Asian moms, am I right?’. She responds ‘My parents don’t act like that …’ 

Slide 3: The shot jumps back to the current comic version of Celia, who is leaning over a poster board that says “Stereotypes” in bold red lettering. Some common stereotypes are illustrated and described below (which will be explained in the next slide). 

She says, “But unfortunately, those aren’t the only stereotypes.”

Slide 4: An overview of the poster Celia held. The narration at the top says “East Asian women specifically are often subject to a few common stereotypes.”

Three of these stereotypes are depicted: 

The “Lotus Blossom” - a meek girl wearing a Japanese Kimono style garment is shown kneeling on the ground. A note points to her ‘Feminine, delicate, submissive’ with an underlined emphasis on submissive. A side note reads: ‘I think this is also, at least, related to how East Asians as a whole are seen as shy + childish’

The “Dragon Ladies” - a glamorous woman with a sultry expression, glamorous makeup and wavy hair is drawn. She has a dragon tattoo going down one arm, wears a tight black dress that emphasizes her cleavage, and has a dagger strapped to one thigh. The note points to her reading ‘very fierce, mysterious, sexually alluring, plus [is] a gold digger’

The “‘ABG’/Asian Baby Girl” - A more modern looking woman with light brown hair and grown out roots poses as though she is having her photo taken. She wears a tight asymmetrical black crop top and matching black high waisted short skirt. The note reads ‘Outgoing, loves partying, fashion, and sex’. 

Slide 5: Celia speaks to the reader again. She has her arms crossed and her expression is unimpressed. 

“Obviously, I can’t cover the nuances in this comic, but there’s a lot to unpack here.”

Slide 6: She continues, now gesturing outwards with one hand, “To start off, I think part of how being Chinese complicates my aromanticism is the way that my behaviour is read as ‘shy and reserved’ … due to the dichotomy in stereotypes. I’m not really the “Asian Bad Girl”,”

Slide 7: “- therefore it’s a lot easier to read me as Shy and Demure “good” girl (bleh) from a traditional family. Which in turn is ascribed as the reason why I’m not showing any active interest in anyone.” 

In the background are the cards from the previous stereotype drawings. The card with the “Lotus Blossom” girl is stacked on top of the card with the “ABG/Asian Baby Girl”. 

Slide 8: Celia rants with her hands held out in front of her, “Worse yet, when I’ve professed a general lack of interest in flirting/pursuing relationships, other Asian diaspora have assumed, or even straight up told me, that my general discomfort towards romance is rooted in my so-called traditional upbringing … that I literally didn’t have.” 

Slide 9: 

A split panel slide. On the top panel, Celia sits at a desk now, working on a different comic. She has a computer screen in front of her with a script, and draws on the iPad in front of her. Off to the side is a phone holder, a teacup, and a sketch of herself on a piece of paper, with notes scrawled around the drawing. 

On the panel below, a close up of the sketch is shown. The drawing depicts the current comic Celia in a sketchier style. Most of the notes scrawled around are unclear, but a few words indicate something along the lines of “small”, “cute”, “Not into [anyone]”, but most notably a bar across her face reads “good girl?” 

Chinese Canadian, Part 1/3

So we begin! Since I was asked (years ago atp) this question about the intersection of my identity as Chinese Diaspora with my orientation, I realized there was a LOT going on there - and as a person who loves to think too much about aromanticism 🐸🐸🐸 I’ve been really excited about sharing this series!!!

But yeah, I did want to say I recognize that there are weird undertones to some of my parents behaviours - even if I would be considered lucky for not having harsh “tiger” parents 😅 Please don’t take this portrayal as me saying I think this is better, or the comments on slide 5 are okay … this is just the reality of my life, it did shape my relationship with my culture, **and I want to depict it as honestly as possible 🤷🏻

To end off on a lighter (?) note: Yes, the Updates being alluded to previously. I am not actually a girl sorry about that y’all. I will talk more about this once I’m done posting this batch of comics but for the time being just go with whatever’s in my bio, don’t worry about it 😉

I’m curious, for all my other aro folk (and I guess not aro queer people if you’re reading this?) how do you feel your cultural background intersected with your identity, if at all?

[Image Descriptions:

Cover: An image of Celia, wearing a rich teal-green Qi Pao dress with golden yellow accents. Her hair is held in a half up style, with a traditional chinese hairpin featuring an orange chrysanthemum pinned in her ponytail. She is also wearing jade earrings and has a warm red ochre eyeliner, and a white ring on her right middle finger. 

She holds a red and yellow fan up to her chest as she stands diagonally on an angle on the cover. Bold red lettering falls on either side of her body in both English and Chinese. One side says “Chinese” in both languages, while the other says “Canadian”. The entire cover is framed within golden Chinese style decorative borders. 

Slide 1: Celia speaks directly to the reader, “I put, in my very first comic, that I am Chinese Canadian, on top of being gray-aromantic and a girl.” 

There is an asterisk next to the word girl. A small note in the corner reads: “So … funny story I’m not a girl actually but my point still stands.” 

Slide 2: A split panel shows her looking off to the side, then back up to the reader as she continues speaking. 

“I don’t know what everyone else thinks when they read those two words together - and to be honest, I don’t know what I think when I remember I’m Chinese, either.”

Slide 3: “The thing is, I’m not really that connected to Chinese culture (or even share a similar experience to other descendants of Chinese immigrants in North America).”

She sits on the floor, surrounded by a plethora of culturally relevant objects from her childhood. These include the following: 

A calendar with an illustration of a rabbit in a traditional art style, representative of the Chinese Zodiac calendars often given out at Lunar New Year at Chinese grocery stores. 

A bottle of “Florida Water” cologne, tiger balm, and eagle oil 

A clay pot and rabbit sculpture 

A comb, a traditional Qi Pao, and vintage purses 

A Chinese calligraphy practice sheet, ink block, and brush 

Slide 4: “My mother had always hated Chinese culture (due to the fact she was bullied a lot for being outspoken and independent when she grew up), so she kept me away from it as a child.”

The shot switches to a scene from Celia’s childhood. A young version of Celia is guided by her mother (whose face is not visible in the panel) away from a group of people talking in front of a chalkboard at Chinese school. 

She says to her child: “They’re judgemental, shallow, and will stab you in the back in the nastiest way possible - I’m doing you a favour here.” 

Slide 5: A continued montage of scenes from childhood split into multiple panels. 

The first panel’s narration says: “My parents don’t have a lot of expectations for me, they definitely never cared if I did well in school. “ 

The scene shows the child version of Celia holding a report card to her parents. She says ‘I got mostly A’s and B’s but I only got a C in Social Studies’. Her mom looks vaguely unimpressed, and says ‘Cool, thanks for telling us. That’s okay, but you could do better … pay more attention in class next time.’ Her dad just says ‘eh’. 

The second panel’s narration says: “They never forced me to do any extracurriculars or sports.” 

The scene shows Celia reading on the bed. Off screen, a parent says ‘you really should participate in more activities, it doesn’t even have to be sports’. She says ‘I don’t want to’, and the parent just responds ‘ok, if you absolutely won’t …” 

The third panel’s narration says “They never wanted to show off my achievements either.”

The scene shows a teen version of Celia holding up a card, saying ‘Mama, baba, I have a 95 average! And I’m the head of [redacted] now!]. A parent off screen responds ‘That’s a lot, we wish you wouldn’t push yourself this much’, to which they reply ‘oh…’  

Slide 6: The shot jumps back to the current Celia, who is speaking at the reader again with an incredulous expression. She says, “They even strongly encouraged me to find a boyfriend in highschool for, and I quote, ‘experience’,” while making air quotes with her hands. 

Slide 7: Celia continues, holding a finger up to her face while she ponders. 

“So when asked to cover “Traditional Asian Thoughts” and how they affected my identity … I almost wanted to say I’m not qualified to talk about it.” 

Slide 8: She says, “But after thinking about it some more, I realized that even though I personally haven’t been subjected to a lot of the stereotypical traditional East Asian beliefs from my family or community -” 

An asterisk is put next to the “East Asian Beliefs”. A small note in the corner reads “To clarify, I’m not even 100% sure if I know what they exactly are. I’m really removed from East Asian diaspora culture and I don’t have many East Asian friends who are actually in touch with their culture.” 

Slide 9: “It still affects how other people see me, and by extension, my aromanticism.” 

Some Aspec Bats! Hope you guys enjoy~

Demiromantic | Aspec | Demisexual

F2U -> likes & reblogs appreciated!