an old cardigan

Seeking employment in the following fields: vampire living in local castle, horrifically talented scientist, sad and vengeful ghost, fleeing woman in a nightgown, newly turned werewolf, ominous and accurate fortune teller. 

i think a lot of people internalized the misogynistic idea that “men are rational and women are emotional” and just went “that’s true… but it’s a good thing!” instead of saying “that’s obviously bullshit and we shouldn’t perpetuate this belief in any form”

i’m giving up personhood to become a full-time abstract concept

i have wig blindness. every time ppl are like “omg the wigs in this show are soooooooo bad” i almost never notice it. looks normal enough to me.

i couldnt connect to people i felt like Bluetooth

Can we please deplatform the dark emperor

tragic! guy who thought he was gonna get a video essay analysis only got an overly flowery summary! AND he had his lunch and everything ready to eat

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

I’m stupid and bi and it’s all u need to know about me

no one says "ive read enough hentai to know where this is going" anymore

because they dont read enough hentai

so they dont know where its going

i’m not against vaping, but man, vaping two inches from my face on the subway is a ridiculous asshole kind of move. this dude was billowing like he was auditioning for the role of haunted house fog machine. the humidity in the whole car changed, he was ruining haircuts. just jump starting the water cycle. condensation was dripping down my glasses. people were slipping off poles, it was chaos. it was like watching one man try to terraform the moon. a planet with one dense, root beer scented atmosphere blocking out the sun and choking all life. 

i consider this a sort of prose poem to be honest

being the flop mutual is hard work but someone's gotta do it