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Maybe your biggest mistake was believing what he said was true, or maybe your biggest mistake was falling for him.

It was a year ago that you lost him, your fiancé, Mark. All you found of him in your shared house was the promise ring which you had given him.

You called his parents, they said he wasn't with them, then you called his friends and everyone else who you thought he could go to. Hope inside started dying, so you called the police, where you met Na Jaemin. 

It was a week after Mark went missing that his body was found. The cuts on his body were deep, his eyes were closed. 

You remember entering the mortuary like it was yesterday. When Jaemin was guiding you, you had taken a step back, "Why are you taking me here?" 

"It's just to check something, it might not be him after all." Jaemin said with a sad look on his face but you shook your head, "Whatever you have inside isn't him. I refuse to believe it's him. It can't be him. You should keep searching, Mark won't leave me." You screeched as tears slipped uncontrollably down your cheeks.

Jaemin walked closer to you, he held your shoulders and hugged you. "Just this once, please." He said and caressed your hair softly. You cried more on his shoulder, not wanting to go inside. You protested with all your might, not wanting to believe that one of the bodies inside might be of your fiancé's. 

When he pulled the white cloth down, it was the first time you had seen a bruise on Mark's face. His eyes were closed, one of them had a purple bruise which was slowly turning blue. "Who did this to you, love?" Was the first sentence you uttered, you touched his bruise like you were touching a feather. "Baby, does it hurt?" You whispered softly, "It's okay, I'll fix it, okay? We'll fix this. I'll disinfect it and you'll be fine in a few days. Why did you fight with someone?" You said as tears slipped past your eyes, "Are you sleeping? At least respond to me, Markie." You mumbled, your hand then fell down to his chest, there were three huge cuts across it. "Who did this to you, Mark? Why won't you respond?" You said and pulled the white cloth further down, "Why are you all naked, don't you feel embarrassed?" You giggled and stroked his chest, "Mark, say something, please." You bawled, shaking his body softly. "Mark! Get up!" 

"You're leaving me, right? It's okay! You can break up with me, don't respond to me, but at least wake up and look at me once, baby. Please?" You rambled, "Why are you so cold? You've always been so warm." You felt a hand on your shoulder, "I'm sorry." 

"Why are you being sorry, Jaemin? Mark will wake up, he's sleeping. He's a deep sleeper, you know? I have to keep waking him up for hours and yet he doesn't wake up. It's the first time you'll meet him, right? He's a delight! I'm being serious. He just gets a little annoying when you have to wake him up." You said and looked into Jaemin's eyes, the sad look on his face was never changing. "I'm sorry." He said and you pushed him slightly. "Why do you keep saying you're sorry?" Your voice raised a little, "He's alright. He'll wake up." You pushed Jaemin, wanting Mark to open his eyes one last time, you tugged at his body aimlessly. "Mark, please. Please." When your hand held his, you felt his cold palm against your and more tears slipped past your eyes.

Your other hand placed itself on his chest, and you tried your best to hug him while trying to wake him up. When Jaemin pulled you away from him, only then did you realize that he's gone. Someone took Mark away from you, you could never speak to him again, he'll never talk to you. 

The wedding which he was planning so excitedly with you, would never happen, because he wasn't there anymore. He left you alone, with nothing but vengeance inside your heart. 

The house seemed so big without him, it was as if the walls were closing in on you. Everywhere your gaze fell it reminded you of him. His parents somehow had the courage to not break down in front of you. His mother held you softly as you cried into her chest. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect him. I'm sorry, mom." You wailed and she just patted your head softly. "It's not your fault. We'll find the person who did this to him, no matter what. Right?" His mother said and you nodded. "He loves you, he really does." She reassured you and cried even more. 

Knowing that someone's last breath was taken whilst thinking about you wasn't exactly the best feeling. Mark will never love anyone again, he'll never be beside you in bed again. He'll never hold you when you cry. His arms will never wrap around your waist when you cook. He'll never place the soft kisses on your nape like he used to, your life felt like nothing without him in the moment. You just sat on the couch, hoping the door would open and he would walk in. His black bag just sat on the entrance and you cried more tears, not wanting to believe he was gone.

It was two weeks after Mark's body was found that you came to your senses. For the first time in two weeks you cooked yourself breakfast and drank coffee. 

"Can you answer some of my questions now?" Jaemin said in a soft tone. "Where did he go that night?" 

"Drinks with his friends."

"Who were these friends? State their full names, please."

"Jung Jaehyun, Johnny Suh and Lee Haechan." 

"What time did he leave home?" 

"Nine."

"Any calls from him after he left?" 

"At around twelve, he said he's coming back home but then he didn't and it was around two when I called Jaehyun. Jaehyun didn't respond."

"Was this a daily occurrence? The drinking?"

"No, Haechan had gotten a promotion." 

"Any enemies that Mark-"

"Mark could never have enemies. I told you didn't I? He is a delight. He can't even fight a fly or kill a mosquito." 

Jaemin gulped and sat back down, his eyes wandered here and there, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you even sorry? Did you know him?" 

"Let's continue with the questions, shall we?" He cut you off and you nodded. "Any recent fights between the both of you?"

"No, he had already proposed, we were searching for venues for fuck's sake." 

"Any person who you think could be your enemy?"

"No."

"So you're saying there's no suspect?"

"I suspect no one." You said in clear words. 

"Your relationship with his friends?" 

"We're fine, they visit me all the time. I'm close to them."

"Any affairs of yours I should know about?" 

"Listen, Na Jaemin. I am and will always be in love with just one person. He's no more. I never had an affair." 

"Affairs aren't usually just for the purpose of finding love, they could also be about sexual satisfaction. Maybe he didn't-"

"He did everything, you don't have to worry about it. All you need to know is that he's the only man I was with and the same goes for him, he was with no one apart from me."

"One can never really know. I'll tell you if anything of such sorts comes up from his Call Detail Records." Jaemin said and you tried hard to keep your composure.

"That day, in mortuary, you said something along the lines of him breaking up with you, are you sure there were no fights?" Jaemin asked and your eyes fixated on the glass of water. "One fight, we did have one fight." 

"What was it about?" 

"Mark lost his engagement ring, so he had to walk around in his promise ring. We had a fight about it, and things escalated a little." 

"When did the fight happen?"

"A week before he went missing."

"Did you solve it?"

"Yes, we solved the fight." 

"What was Mark's job?"

"He is an English professor at SNU."

"He was." Jaemin said softly and you looked up at him, "You have to come to terms with it if you want to be of any help to this investigation." Jaemin held your hand and you let your tears slip past your eyes. "It's okay, I'll bring him justice. I promise you that." 

"You really have to."

"How did he meet Jung Jaehyun, Johnny Suh and Lee Haechan?" 

"They met in college, Jaehyun and Johnny have been his friends since college and Haechan is his childhood friend."

"How did the both of you meet?"

"How is that relevant to the case?"

"It is, we have to revisit your past to enquire what's wrong and right." You drew in a long breath, pausing to look into Jaemin's eyes, he isn't lying. He probably does need the details. "We met through Jaehyun. Jaehyun had set us up." 

"Jaehyun seems like an important factor in your story, you called him to check where Mark was, he set the both of you up. Nothing going on between you two right? Your call details show you call him a lot, even after Mark's death." Jaemin said, he had an eyebrow raised. "He's like my elder brother, he's been taking care of me a lot since Mark-" 

"Understood. We'll call other people for questioning too. If you feel like there's anything wrong, give me a call." Jaemin said and you got up from your seat, "I can drop you off."

"That's really not necessary."

"I'm just protecting you, your boyfriend was murdered. I don't want to lose an important factor in the case." Jaemin said and trailed behind you.

You stared at his broad back as you followed him. He pushed a few people out of the way, leading to the parking lot. You sat in his car as he drove to exactly where you lived. Never once did he ask where you lived, "How did you know the way?"

"My house is round the corner. I found it on your records." Jaemin said and you walked out of the car.

It had been six months since Mark passed away. The police investigation was leading nowhere. Mark had left the bar peacefully and had hugged Haechan before walking out.

No signs of a fight showed when he left the bar. Jaehyun had told you what Mark's last words to him were, "My woman's waiting at home. Gotta make it haste so she doesn't kill me." You laughed at the irony of it all, but then you thought of it again, Mark loved you even till the end. 

How could you fall for someone else? Did you deserve falling for him? It just wasn't fair, was it? You had fallen for Jaemin. No matter how much you denied it. He fulfilled almost every demand of yours, just like Mark did.

His gaze held the same gentleness as Mark's and you couldn't help but feel guilty that you had actually started liking someone who wasn't Mark. You still wore your ring, because you had sworn you wouldn't fall for anyone.

But everyone breaks their promises. You decided that even if you did like Jaemin, you'd never be with him, not over the blood of the man you loved. 

Loved, it was a word that you thought about a lot. You still love Mark, but he isn't there, so you loved him. That should be easy to understand, but somehow you didn't seem to accept it. 

Mark's case became a cold one. Your daily visits at the police station had started to get in the way of Jaemin, but he never expressed it. He would simply escort you out, take you for dinner and drop you off at your house.

You loved talking to Jaemin, and you noticed that when he stopped talking to you while on the dinner table. "Why are you so quiet?"

"Well, there's not much to talk about." Jaemin said and you nodded, "You're the first person I've stayed in contact with who's related to a case. I'm a man of principles, I never mix work and personal life but I think I've come to-"

"Soup's nice, isn't it?" You whispered and cut him off, "Yeah, soup's nice." Jaemin replied and turned back to the dish. Slowly sipping out of his spoon.

Maybe it was the denial in your mind that didn't let you move on from Mark, because at the back of your mind, you thought that you wouldn't even be on this table if Mark was here. Maybe he would've been opposite you. Maybe you would've been laughing with him, maybe you could hear him talk. Maybe the scar on his eye must've healed but none of this was true. 

Jaemin was sitting opposite to you, and Mark wasn't even at home. He will never be there again, and that thought scared you. 

Maybe you needed consolation when you kissed Jaemin. Consolation that you won't be alone. 

Consolation that even if Mark isn't here, someone else will accept you with open arms.

And Jaemin did, his arms wrapped around yours as he deepened the kiss and held you close to himself. Your hand fell on his chest, his heart was beating so fast. 

Your eyes were closed, and when your hand roamed around Jaemin's chest, you could think of nothing but the deep cuts on Mark's chest and how similar Jaemin felt under your touch. 

So you pulled away, the tears in your eyes fell for the nth time, Jaemin hugged you tightly and you sobbed in his shoulder for the nth time. "Was the kiss that bad?" 

"No, you're a good kisser." You said in between hiccups and he pecked your lips lightly. "Take your time, I'll always be here, watching you, waiting for you." 

"I just want one thing, Jaemin." 

"I'll give you the world if I have to."

"Bring justice to Mark and I'll be yours forever." 

It had been eight months since Mark's death. Jaemin would visit you everyday. He had started investigations on a personal level, he had shared all the documents with you, wanting to solve the case as soon as possible.

You read through all the papers, but nothing made sense. Did Mark die a death he didn't deserve? Did some gangsters target him because they mistook him for someone else?

 If Mark didn't get justice, you probably would never be able to move on from him but Jaemin always brought a sense of comfort with himself, which made you rest assured that someday or the other, Mark will get the justice he deserves.

So you worked with him with all your might. You asked Haechan about the night again and again. You asked Johnny if he dropped Mark in his car, you asked Jaehyun if Mark called him after he left the bar.

Their answers always remained constant. They would tell you the same story again and again.

"You loved him so much, didn't you?" Johnny asked you as you jotted down the same details again, your hands paused and you looked up at him. "Move on. It's probably what he would've wanted. He would've wanted to see you smile, not like this." Johnny said, he caressed your shoulder carefully, before you saw tears form in his eyes, "It's difficult seeing you like this, please move on." 

Maybe Johnny wasn't wrong, but you loved Mark and you couldn't possibly just leave his death unknown. You were scared even at the thought of how much pain he must've gone through when the blood seeped out of his body and you shuddered at the thought that probably the only thing on his mind was that he wanted to get home.

Home, to you. 

You wanted a reason why Mark Lee left. You wanted a reason why it was Mark Lee who died and you needed a reason to move on. If you knew the entire story, you probably would move on. 

But the unknown factors stopped you from moving on. "I will move on, John." You smiled reassuringly at him and he smiled back at you.

The bed didn't feel as empty anymore, Jaemin filled up the space Mark left. He would snuggle up to you, his warmth would give you comfort and you'd bask in his presence.

It had been a year since Mark passed away.

Maybe you lost your willpower to find answers, so you gave in. You deserved a happy life with Jaemin.

But the house. The house was still the one Mark and you lived together in, you'd feel like it was a sin that you brought another man to the same bedroom which you and Mark shared.

You knew it was wrong, yet it didn't feel like it. It felt like you belonged in Jaemin's arms.

It was only when that day came around again that you realised how astray you've gotten from your original motives. Mark was now a distant memory for you, and that felt as wrong as it probably should've.

"Mark. We need to talk about Mark." You whispered at Jaemin and he looked up at you from his newspaper, "What about him, love?"

"Are we not going to solve the case anymore?" 

"We will solve the case of course." Jaemin said and sipped on his coffee, "I don't like the way this is going." 

"How is it going?" 

"Jaemin! Don't go police mode on me." 

"What else do you want me to do? I have done anything and everything in my power. Nothing adds up. I don't know how your boyfriend died."

"Jaemin, you are my boyfriend now." 

"So what? Am I not just a consolation prize? The other one died so you brought me in his place." 

"How dare you say that?" 

"How else am I supposed to take it, why won't you move out of this house?" Jaemin yelped and got up, leaving his coffee on the table and angrily stomping away to get ready.

Jaemin was right, he was never wrong to begin with. You wouldn't leave the house because of all the memories you made with Mark here.

But maybe leaving this house would be a new start for you and Jaemin, both. Giving up on Mark's case wasn't one of the things you wanted to happen. Falling in love with the lead investigator of your fiancé's case wasn't planned either.

It was Mark's memorial, you didn't want Jaemin to show up because you weren't ready to tell the world that you had moved on. Yet he stood there, beside Jaehyun, laughing. 

It got on your nerves, but there was nothing you could do about it. You were the hostess of the memorial and it would've been weird if you didn't call the inspector to it. That's what Mark's mom thought, so you had to.

Jaemin's presence at the memorial had left you flustered, because you didn't know how you were going to deal with everything. You didn't know how to deal with the emotions you felt, so you distanced yourself from him.

It had been a year and six months since Mark passed away. 

You stopped talking to Jaemin. The both of you just lived together like strangers who had never met before. 

He'd still sleep beside you, snuggled up to you, but the warmth in him diminished and the comfort was no longer present. 

The comfort that Mark would probably one day get justice seemed like a far away thought. But you still had started loving the man who was sleeping beside you. 

His eyes were closed and his white shirt peeked out of the blanket. You wrapped your arms around him and he gladly opened up. You rested against his chest, hearing his heartbeat gave you the sense of comfort again. "What's wrong, love?" 

"Nothing, just wanted to cuddle."

"There's an annual party for police officers, they're giving me an award. Will you come with me as my date?" Jaemin asked and you nodded. "I will." 

"I'll get you a dress." You could hear the satisfaction in Jaemin's voice, "And how will you tell them we met?" You asked and noticed how his breathing became laboured. "I'll figure that out." He said and went back to normal, planting a kiss to the crown of your head before turning to fall asleep. 

You thought the party might mend things between the both of you again, and just with that hope, you dressed up for it. Anticipation filled you when you walked in the hall and Jaemin was wearing a tuxedo, navy blue. It looked familiar but you couldn't point out where you had seen it. 

You stared at it long enough before Jaemin started introducing you to people. "She's my girlfriend." 

"How did you meet?" The question you feared the most popped up, "Through some common college friends." 

"That's a delight!" The woman said and you gasped slightly. The choice of words had taken you aback. "Jaemin, I'll be back." You said and walked towards the champagne corner, chugging an entire glass down before walking up to everyone again.

Maybe it was the alcohol that had given you courage, or maybe it was just Jaemin. You were on call with Jaehyun, telling him about your new boyfriend. You hung up after a while and then walked up to said new boyfriend, you pulled him by his collar and placed your lips against his. His arms wrapped around your waist and he deepened the kiss, slowly nibbling at your bottom lip. A hum of satisfaction left your mouth and Jaemin smiled. "Let's take this elsewhere." Jaemin said and pushed you out of the room.

He pulled you towards a room of which he had keys, he slammed the door behind the both of you and kissed you hungrily, his kisses trailed down to your neck before he stopped and laughed.

"You're so dumb and pretty." He said and held your jaw before ravishing your lips again. "What do you mean?" You mumbled against his lips and he laughed again. "I killed Mark." He said and you pulled away, staring at him. "Do you think I'm lying?" He said, a smile on his psychotic face. "I made those cuts on his body, I burned his car. I punched him in the eye." He whispered sensually against your ear, he bit your earlobe, "You wanna know how I did it? I pulled him in an alleyway, punched him and he tried to fight back, but to no use." He said and pouted, "He was a little weak you know, probably not that good in bed, was he?" Jaemin said and you could feel your blood boil. You slapped him across the cheek but he just chuckled.

"You think that hurts, love?" He chuckled like a maniac, he pinned your hands against the wall before leaning in closer, "This is his tux, he was supposed to wear it at your little engagement party." He smiled and leaned down to plant a kiss on your nape. "Too bad. I'll wear this while I kill you, what say?" He chuckled and you struggled against him, trying to free yourself from his clutches.

A scream left your mouth but he just chuckled as you screamed, "Oh baby, no one's gonna come back here. Everyone left." He said and kissed your cheek.

"It's just you and me in the end, isn't it?" 

"Jaemin, why?" You whispered out weakly and Jaemin leaned in to listen to what you had said, "Because Mark had stolen what was mine and no one is allowed to take what's mine." He said and his grip grew tighter on your wrists. "Do you remember me? We really did meet in college." He said and you looked up at him. 

A faint memory of Jaemin in a black hoodie flashed across your mind, he was smiling while taking notes. "I remember you, Jaemin." 

"No! No, you don't! Or you wouldn't have slept with Mark, you wouldn't have gotten almost married to Mark." He screamed and punched the wall. "Why him? What was so special about that jerk?" He asked you, tears cascaded down your cheeks as you saw this side of Jaemin, not believing that this is the man you fell in love with.

"This isn't you Jaemin, you didn't kill Mark, did you?" You whispered softly and he smirked, "I'll kill you to prove to you that I did indeed kill your little Markie."

Maybe you shouldn't have gone to touch the rose yourself, the base always contained thorns.

But Na Jaemin was a cactus in disguise of a rose. His persona was as gentle and kind as a rose, but inside he was nothing but a vessel of dryness and death. 

You were the rose that bled out loud, another petal broken, another flower wilted.

When the movie began, you rested on his shoulder, watching the movie you had seen multiple times before. You even knew the dialogues at this point, you muttered some of them, but soon the movie got boring as it probably should have been three watches ago.

Your eyes fluttered slowly, but you tried to pull yourself together. You looked up at Mark, his eyes still held the same excitement as always, as if he didn't know what the climax was. As if he were clueless that the main lead would win anyways.

"The kick here is super cool!" He said excitedly, only to get no response from you, his shoulder had started feeling heavy from a while ago, but he chose to ignore that, because he was too focused on the film. His eyes then tried to find yours, "Maybe we should've watched Sherlock today." He said and fixed your hair which had come undone.

He shifted slightly so that you were on his chest, sleeping peacefully. His arms wrapped around your form and he patted your back. "I wish I could do this everyday." He said, the smile evident in his voice.

"I wish I could tell you how you make me feel but it isn't possible, huh?" He said, his fingers rubbing your back softly. "The way you look at me will never change, will it? Look at you, so carelessly you fell asleep. I'm a man, doesn't that scare you?" He said and giggled softly. "It's probably because you feel safe with me right?"

"Hm." You said softly and Mark's eyes widened. "Yes, it's because I feel safe with you." You slowly looked up at him and watched as his eyes fluttered, looking anywhere but at you. "Since when-"

"Since you shifted our positions." You said and pulled yourself closer to him, your hand curled around his neck and rubbed soft circles. "How do I make you feel, Markie?" You whispered softly and smiled. "You make me-" He said and heaved a heavy sigh.

"You make me feel like I'm on cloud nine. I never knew what people meant when they said, "I feel butterflies in my stomach." But you made me feel that. I always feel like holding your hand when we go out on walks, but I'm a coward." He giggled softly and looked at you, "Most importantly, you make me feel like protecting you. You make me feel like loving you." He said and smiled.

"I said too much, didn't I?" He said and looked away, your eyes fell to his lips which had a faint smile on it. Your hand moved up to his cheek and you pressed a feather like kiss to the mole on his, "You know? I like you too, Mark." Your fingers then softly caressed his cheek as he looked back at you with an awestruck expression. "Me? You like me?" He stuttered and you nodded, "You're a good actor then, aren't you?" He said and you nodded again.

"If that's the case then, can I be your boyfriend?" He said, his eyes had a glint of happiness in them, the kind you had never seen before. "Yes." You said and smiled at him, before pulling him closer for a kiss.

The characters on the television kissed too, the main lead hanging upside down while the female lead's hands covered the male lead's ears, his face still half hidden with the mask. And when they pulled away so did you, your eyes fell on the television and you giggled. "Look they're kissing too!" You said and his arms curled around your waist, slowly kneading it. "Mark, I wanna try kissing like that too! Upside down!" You said excitedly and the man beneath you just laughed softly.

"Will you be the one upside down or me?" He giggled and you just hit his chest, "The guy is upside down so you-"

"Got it, love." He said and your ears heated up, you were quick to jump up from his embrace and sit down, "Don't make my heart beat so fast, what if I get a seizure?" You pouted and he just chuckled, "I should've been dead by now if people died of fast heartbeats."

Networks: @knet-bakery @kflixnet @nct-frathouse @superm-net

Read More: Masterlist

^^ A/n: this is my first 2022 post! I've been busy with school and college applications and all sorts of studying i almosg forgot i had a tunblr blog to be really honest! IF YOU GUYS ARE READING THIS- then pls drop a comment or a reblog, really does make my dayyyy hahah