Archived

Starter Call! 

i’m always a slut for a christmas shit 

“i know we hate each other but it’s christmas eve and your flight was cancelled please come inside”

“i got you for secret santa so i got you this really expensive but sentimental gift that you’ve always wanted, hoping you’ll never find out it’s from me - and that i’ve been in love with you 1234567 years”

SNOWBALL FIGHTS

“hi we’re neighbours and omg are you alright i could smell cooking burning - whoaaa now that’s just embarrassing? step aside i’ll handle this”

person a seducing person b into taking a few steps back/backing them against the wall (”oh look, how did that mistletoe get right there????”)

“you’re in the hospital for the holidays so i came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room i love you merry christmas”

“YES I BOOBY TRAPPED THE PRESENTS BECAUSE YOU DO THIS EVERY FUCKING YEAR”

“i live below you and i was minding my own business watching the snowfall out the window WHEN I SAW A BODY FALL ARE YOU REALLY PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOW”

I KNITTED YOU A JUMPER

MY MOM KNITTED YOU A JUMPER

“we’re strictly ‘platonic’ but we’re snowed in omg we’re gonna have to repopulate the earth”

“i slipped on ice outside your house and you ran out barefoot to help me quick let’s get inside under a blanket”

“’it’s a wonderful life’ aww it sounds so cute babe sure we can watch it! *30 mins later* “YOU MONSTER”

“we were playing in the snow and you suddenly tackled me to the ground and now…we’re just…staring… at each other…”

“YOU DON’T LIKE MARSHMALLOWS IN YOUR HOT CHOCOLATE? WHY DO YOU HATE LOVE”

TREE DECORATING (bonus points if one of them is doing it completely wrong omg why am i in love with you) 

FRIENDS AU - “our christmas party turned into a tropical theme because the radiator is broken and it’s hotter than hell in here - damn you look good without a shirt i never noticed before asgdhfjgkhl” 

“we’re co workers who hate each other but you had too much to drink at the staff christmas party and admitted your love for me i don’t know how to act around you now” 

DRUNKEN CAROLLING (”that’s not a thing” “oh yes it is”) 

TEACH ME HOW TO SKI (lol jk i know how you’re just so fucking cute)

“there’s a storm and omg i’m losing signal are you okay?? hold on let me drive 489432 miles to get you the night before christmas” 

PULLING YOU IN FOR A KISS WITH A SCARF 

❛  don’t touch it, peasants aren’t allowed !!  ❜

❛  while you’re out there, wouldn’t hurt to change your attitude. come back with a smile !!  ❜  

❛  i’m sorry, did you just put my ___ on top of my ___ ?!  ❜ 

❛  HOW DARE YOU ?!?!?  ___  WOULD NEVER !!  ❜

❛  you’re lucky i’m trash !!  ❜ 

❛  which irrelevant piece of shit should i wipe up my root beer with ??  ❜ 

❛  what a funny book * wipes ___ with book *.  ❜ 

❛  BRING ME MY SMOKE MACHINE !!  ❜ 

❛  i’m sorry, did you not HEAR ME WHEN I ASKED FOR MY SMOKE MACHINE ?!  ❜ 

❛  i don’t drive anyway, i uber.  ❜ 

❛  well ,  i like to call it a MUSEUM of my fame.  ❜ 

❛  dear diary ,  i don’t have time for you.  ❜ 

❛  … it’s dirty. why is it dirty.  ❜ 

❛  I NEED HELP—  never mind don’t touch it.  ❜ 

❛  CROWN ME !!  ❜ 

❛  /FAUX/ FUR COAT.  don’t worry, it’s not real.  ❜ 

❛  you hear that ??  that’s what success sounds like.  ❜ 

❛  boyfriend, assistant, meh meh.  ❜

❛  hahaha ,  wishes are supposed to be hard to get.  ❜

❛  oh honey ,  we don’t need a glass when we have diamond.  ❜

❛  i will shove it up my own ass later !!  ❜ 

❛  people of my neighborhood !!  ❜ 

❛  quick thing i’ve noticed; there’s no pictures of me …  ❜

❛  WHY IS THERE A OUIJA BOARD HERE ?!  ❜ 

❛  i haven’t had this poison in years.  ❜

❛  CARRY ME UPSTAIRS !!  ❜ 

❛  what is this ??  …  I’M BORED.  ❜ 

❛  this is where i like to go to cleanse myself from all the nice comments i get about my booody.  ❜ 

ღThe first thing Kil felt upon regaining consciousness was pain. Luckily, it was a dull ache and not the sharp pain of a knife in her guts so she could live with it at least. Though she would have no way of knowing, she had been unconscious for weeks. All she felt now was fatigue, and a headache but that was nothing new with all the stress she’d been under.ღ

ღShe wasn’t sure what she expected to see when she pealed her eyes open, but it certainly wasn’t her old best friend. Kaz was a welcomed sight, until she realized that she had disappeared for months, only to show back up and attempt to sacrifice herself. Some best friend she was.ღ

❝Ugh…Kaz…what are you doing here?❞

Kaz had spent the last day and a half sitting next to Kil’s bedside, drifting in and out of naps. Jolting awake at any signs of her regaining consciousness and being welcomed back into the waking world alive. But right now he had nothing to go off of other than his own hope and Sphintus’s healing magic. 

In the past five months since Nerva had been exiled, and within a night had rounded up all of his slaves and escaped Reim, Kaz had been extremely busy. Due to the changes he’d made to the Reim legal systems before slavery had been officially abolished, and Muu’s pushing, Kaz had become the new crown prince of Reim. Wearing the gettup and all, initially reluctant to the position considering what was basically his best friend had been carted out of the country by a now terrorist, but he’d grown into the role. 

He’d started to drift off, but had snapped awake at the signs of Kil stirring awake. Jolting into awakeness he waited for her to wake up before asking her questions and hugging her, lightly as possible to not hurt her. 

But instead in the moments notice he was filled with a mixture of sadness and anger. 

“Waiting for you to wake up you idiot!” he snapped, eye’s tearing up and voice shaking. “You’re so stupid! Don’t ever do something that stupid ever again!” 

I’m going to reblog this to all of my rp blogs

—

Kil had heard of determination before, but never had she seen such ferocity in one small person. He was something of a hero, some unstoppable force who would settle only for the obtaining of justice.

A few months before Maader had been exposed for her crime of arranging the murder of her late husband, in order to acquire his company. She had of course, put the blame on Kil as being the one to actually kill the man, and she’d been put on trial. The trial itself was supposed to have been short, and there were no doubts it would end in a death sentence, however someone had intervened…considerably.

Kaz Alexius, a member of the Fanalis corps, had been assigned to oversee the trial in lady Scheherezade’s stead (because of the Mariadel company’s predominants and importance to Reim the magi had been brought into the matter.) The young man had instead of just overseeing the court, managed in just a few months to convince the courts to accuse Maader instead, completely stop the practice of torturing witnesses, and completely rearrange the court system. Then, if that wasn’t enough, once Maader was sentenced to a life in prison he personally saw to it that all the children at the Mariadel company and Kil herself were granted their freedom.

Now, Kil was in awe and completely confused. Why would he do all this? This wasn’t the type of lengths one went just out of the kindness of their hearts was it?

Well, once everything was over and she found herself free to do whatever she wished, she decided that she would ask him. So, she approached him shyly and spoke up loudly enough to get his attention.

 Kaz hadn’t been determined to solve Reim’s problems with slavery for any specific person, more for a specific reason. He was tired of seeing people be in pain and suffer, he was tired of seeing people be hurt for things they didn’t need to be hurt for. He was tired of slaves being tortured and people turning a blind eye to it all. He was down right tired of it. And he didn’t want it to go on anymore, so that’s why when Maader, one of the most influential slave traders in all of Reim was taken to trial he had to do something. 

When Lady Scheherazade was summoned to attend the court as an overseer and a side player to the judge he sized his chance, it only took two hours of heckling the old woman until she caved and allowed him to attend the court as Kil’s defendant. But that wouldn’t be enough for him, he wanted more, so behind the scenes and under his magi’s nose he went and he bent the rules of punishing slaves in court. 

So saying her was determined to make a change would be an under statement, he was dead set on making a change. He wouldn’t let anyone derail him or stop him from doing what he truly wanted to do, and that was to stop slavery in it’s tracks, if he could stop it in Reim in his lifetime he would be satisfied, but that satisfaction wouldn’t stop him from reaching out and changing the world. He was a prince due to being a royals son, and once the current King of Reim kicked it he would try to one up that brat Nerva and become both Reim’s official prince and then take up the title of king and really change this country for the better. He was 13 and all ready making changes, who knew what would come in the years ahead. 

So when the girl whom he’d pulled all these strings to get out being killed, setting her and all of the others from her country free as well, came to speak to him he reacted in nothing but a humble manor. 

taken from all over the internet, some specifically from the youtube channel siIvagunner . 

❝ can i get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh BONELESS PIZZA ❞

❝ and his name is ……. JOHN CENA ! ❞

❝ succ ❞

❝ BUENOS DIAS MANDY ❞

❝ n - nani ?!? ❞

❝ omae wa, mou shindeiru . ❞

❝ how many layers of irony are you on right now ? ❞

❝ SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME . ❞

❝ [ obnoxious sound of the ever popular rickroll ] ❞

❝ they see me rollin’ . they hatin’ . ❞

❝ todokete, setsunasa ni wa ! ❞

❝ nice of the princess to invite us over for dinner, gay __ ? ❞

❝ i hope she made lotsa spaghetti ! ❞

❝ it’s the nutshack ! ❞

❝ BITCH YOU GUESSED IT ! ❞

❝ AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU ❞

❝ whoa …. whoa …. whoa …….. WHOA ! WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA — ❞

❝ gee ! it sure is BORING around here ! ❞

❝ you know what they say: all toasters … toast toast ! ❞

❝ it’s hiiiiiiigh noon . ❞

❝ eyyyyyyyyy, sexy lady ! ❞

❝ nice . >:] ❞

❝ i’ll have a number nine large . ❞

❝ the more you know ! ❞

❝ look at my horse . my horse is amazing . ❞

❝ epic jojoke . ❞

❝ squadala, we’re off ! ❞

❝ are you sure about that ? ❞

[ dabs ]

❝ let it go ! let it go ! ❞

❝ are you …. a real villain ? ❞

❝ well, uh … technically, uh …. nah . ❞

❝ we are number one ! ❞

❝ notice me, senpai ! ❞

❝ you’re gonna have a bad time  - sans undertale [ 2015 ] ❞

❝ pokemon go to the polls . ❞

❝ is only game . why u hef to be mad ? ❞

❝ snooPINGAS usual i see . ❞

❝ POOTIS . ❞

❝ ECH . ❞

❝ do not presume . ❞

❝ i’m gay . ❞

❝ i have crippling depression ! ❞

❝ expand dong . ❞

❝ HE HAS NO STYLE ! HE HAS NO GRACE ! ❞

❝ according to all known laws of aviation — ❞

❝ what the fuck did you just say to me you little bitch ? ❞

❝ GOOD SHIT . ❞

❝ i play pokemon go everyday ! ❞

❝ BEGONE, THOT . ❞

❝ jesus christ it’s jason bourne . ❞

❝ BEHOLD THE POWER OF MY STAND ! ❞

❝ taaaaaaaake oooooooooon meeeeeeeeee ! ❞

❝ GET TO THE CHOPPA ! ❞

❝ all your base . now belong to us . ❞

❝ WOOMY . ❞

❝ i used to be an adventurer like you, until i took an arrow to the knee . ❞

❝ look at this dude . oh nononononono …. ❞

❝ i am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand ! ❞

❝ exotic butters . ❞

❝ gotta go fast ! ❞

❝ what does the fox say ? ❞

❝ pen pineapple apple pen . ❞

❝ NOOOOOOO . PLEASE GOD NO, NO . NO . NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO — ❞

❝ get out of my swamp ! ❞

❝ look at all those chickens ! ❞

❝ i’m blue, dabudee dabudi . ❞

❝ thank you, __ ! but your princess is in another castle ! ❞

❝ here i come, rougher than the rest of them . ❞

❝ HEHEHE I AM A SUPAHSTAR WARRIAH ❞

❝ press f to pay respects . ❞

❝ the cake is a lie . ❞

❝ owo what’s this ? ❞

❝ SAY WHAAAAAAAT ? ❞

❝ now this is a story all about how my life got twisted upside down . ❞

❝ it’s lit, fam ! ❞

❝ yes, hello . i was wondering i you could play that song, again . ❞

❝ smoke weed every day . ❞

❝ but hey, that’s just a theory ! A GAME THEORY ! ❞

❝ is that a motherfucking jojo reference ??? ❞

❝ [ room on fire ] this is fine . ❞

❝ fuck the police, comin’ straight from the underground ! ❞

❝ this bitch empty . YEET ! ❞

❝ god i wish that was me . ❞

❝ fuck this shit i’m out . ❞

❝ [ knuckles voice ] oh no . ❞

❝ yeah bOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ❞

❝ dicks out for harambe . ❞

❝ guess i’ll die . ❞

❝ ya like jazz ? ❞

❝ ow the edge ❞

❝ W H O M S T’ D V E ❞

❝ words can’t hurt me these shades are gucci . ❞

❝ __, shut the fuck up and get the fuck out . ❞

❝ it’s over nine thousand !! ❞

❝ HEEEEEEYEYAAAAAEYAAAEYEYE !!!! ❞

❝ rollin’ around at the speed of sound ! ❞

❝ but that all changed when the fire nation attacked . ❞

❝ that day, humanity received a grim reminder . ❞

❝ DOH ! ❞

❝ two to the one to the one to the three . ❞

❝ so long, gay bowser ! ❞

❝ WEEWOO WEEWOO ❞

❝ GRAND DAD . ❞

❝ IT’S HIP TO FUCK BEES . ❞

❝ DON’T FUCK WITH ME I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE ❞

❝ inhale my dong enragement child ❞

❝ HERE COME DAT BOI ❞

❝ look at this photograph ! ❞

❝ souljia boy i tell ‘em . ❞

❝ you know i had to do it to ‘em . ❞

❝ wake me up [ WAKE ME UP INSIDE ] ❞

❝ can’t touch this . ❞