You are tasked with killing a bloodless chimp.
The chimp does not have blood. It cannot bleed to death.
The chimp does not respirate. It cannot asphyxiate.
The chimp does not need or desire food or water.
The chimp is infinitely patient.
The chimp has chimp physiology. Which is to say it is roughly 5x faster, stronger, and more agile than a human.
The chimp does not feel pain.
While toxins may be effective, the chimp's physiology is an enigma.
The chimp resides somewhere in an abandoned apartment building.
The chimp nest will be extremely dark.
The chimp has superhuman senses, including excellent night vision.
The chimp can regulate it's body temperature. It will not appear on thermal cameras.
The chimp is of uncertain but cunning intelligence. It can mimic human speech and mannerisms.
The chimp can use any weapon, but the chimp will prefer to kill you with it's hands.
The chimp will heal extremely quickly.
The chimps rapid healing factor MAY be temporarily stunted through the application of anti-chimp salve, or UV radiation.
The chimp MAY be confused by particular geometric patterns.
The chimp is flammable, but it does not fear flame. Fire will not slow it.
The chimp cannot be reasoned with, bargained with, or meaningfully communicated with. The chimp only wants you dead.
You must remain clandestine. You are not allowed to destroy the apartment building.
For this reason, explosives are prohibited.
You get help. You are allowed a team of up to twelve people for your anti-chimp task force.
What is your plan for killing the bloodless chimp?
areudirty
titsay
romaincrisis
tangentwithtanner
