The more she persisted, the more he doubted himself. Maybe he was Chris, after all, but whoever Rebecca wanted to find - it wasnât him. The last thing he needed was to get a young womanâs hopes up only to crush them. Better to deny it outright than think for a moment. Better not to think at all.
It was easy to see she was uncomfortable, walking along with this hulk of a man who hung his head like he was trying to bury himself in his jacket, thick wisps of grey smoke like the grey in his hair, nose no longer able to pick up the scent of liquor on his breath. Too old for this shit. As she spoke, he listened - it was a distraction. Whoever this Chris was, he sounded like an ass. âDunno what your friend would be doinâ in a hell hole like this, kid. The locals say some shit went down half a year back, nobody âas been cominâ through since. âCept you." It was odd, leading her around, but it carried an uncomfortable tinge of familiarity. Her presence, leading people. Heavy shoulders gave a shrug, glancing over to look at her one more. "I donât mind. Carry on, if yâwant.â
Better than listening to people yell in a language he didnât know, or care to know, being kicked out after one too many drinks. Maybe sheâd be willing to lend him some cash, but making sure she got somewhere safely was the least he could do. Maybe heâd get some good karma, not that he believed in it.
Didnât know what he believed in any more.
âHey - you said you were a Doctor or somethinâ, right?" Had she? Couldnât remember. "I got this thing, like, nightmares but more real. Canât sleep. No one around âere fuckinâ speaks English, so they arenât any help.â The list of problems was as long as his bar tab; he remembered waking up in a hospital and walking for days, occasionally he can see monsters, can feel fire burning behind his eyes and this scream, the click of heels. It doesnât make any sense. More visions come and go, but itâs never a nightmare, never able to afford the luxury of sleep. Then, thereâs the constant shaking, the tremors in his arms. The bottle isnât the weight heâs used to having in his hands, whatever used to be there, but it drowns out enough.
âNevermind, actually. It doesnât matter. Yâgot shit to do and I canât afford tâpay you.â