You had embarrassed him in front of his family—just because you could, and read his diary aloud when you were nine in front of your friends. “Dear diary, she smiles so pretty and I think I like her.” You declared at that time. James genuinely thought it was just that. But oh lord, he was so wrong. Loudly wrong. As if invading his privacy wasnʼt enough, you somehow convinced his own mother that you were the better child.

You also liked being the center of attention, especially during Q&A sessions in class. James was the opposite. He liked living a slow life, and not being seen with a lot of people. But to his knowledge, he was seated with you during junior until this senior high school time. Every time you answered a teacherʼs question, the entire class would turn to look at him. Heʼd rather die than to be in that position over again.

On the other hand, you were not someone as cocky as how James would describe you. You were popular, pretty, and smart. Someone who always caught peopleʼs attention at the school hall. You were only doing those annoying things with James, simply because you liked the reactions coming out of him every time you did something that got under his skin.

“Can you get out? Itʼs my room.” He stood next to his door as he placed a hand on his waist, staring at you whoʼs lying on his bed.

“No.” You turned a page of the “Little Women” novel in front of you. “Why not?” He frowned like a lost deer. Are you freaking serious right now?

“Because our families are there. Iʼm not going to bother them.”

“You better be joking.” He scoffed. “Weʼre not that close, you know? So stop pretending like we are.”

You let out an ʼouchʼ and looked up at him. “Look, why do you hate me so much?” You closed the novel and sat up straight.

“Do you have to ask?” He grabbed his phone in his pocket and sat on his study chair, showing his back to you. He didnʼt even bother to come and lie next to you. Even though deep down, you slightly wanted him to do that.

“Do you like me?”

James gasped and turned his chair to look at you. “Ew, thereʼs no way on Earth Iʼd do that.”

“Then, answer me.”

James choked on his own words. He couldnʼt even answer a simple question. Why did he hate you? Was it because of the diary story? Was it because youʼre smart? Was it because youʼre popular, and you donʼt have time to hang out with him at school?

Every time James looked for a reason, he still couldnʼt find it. His brain seemed to stop working. In fact, he didnʼt hate you that much. Thatʼs why it was so hard for him to find excuses. The sound of It Had To Be You by Frank Sinatra echoed in his room, leaving a loud silence between the two of you.

“I donʼt like you.”

You let out another ʼouchʼ. “That was harsh.”

“Okay, I donʼt like you.” James smiled sarcastically at you from ear to ear. He looked silly, and you just wanted to eat him alive.

“You sound like you donʼt mean it. Just accept the fact that you like me.” You blew him a kiss as you lay on your back on his pillow and started reading “Little Women” again. James remained silent. Part of him disliked the idea of liking you, and another part wondered if it would really be that bad.

Months passed, and itʼs already Summer. You and James got closer but still fought over the smallest thing ever. James couldnʼt deny ever since last Christmas, he was thinking maybe a little too much about you. How your smile never seemed to fade, how your dark orbs shone every time it looked at him, and how your hair fell every time you pulled out your hair tie.

You and James have been friends since forever. Jamesʼ family moved into the house next to yours when both of you were five. And ever since then, you and James became inseparable.

Your classmates decided to go on a summer vacation to the nearest beach. Some of you went enjoying the beach under umbrellas, and some (especially the boys) played football on the sand.

James was a part of the team as well, and you cheered for him, making him smile throughout the entire round. He didnʼt have that many friends since he was labeled as a nerd by your classmates. When the first round ended, James got kicked out because he couldnʼt score a goal.

He absentmindedly went to sit next to you, making the girls let out an ʼohʼ. They often asked why you liked being around him, and you simply shrugged over the question. “Maybe because heʼs nice?” You said at that time.

“That was a good round.” You put your arm over his shoulder and patted him.

“I know itʼs the worst. Stop being optimistic.” James answered sarcastically, his lips slightly forming a pout. Oh, you wish you could peck those cute lips of his.

“I still enjoyed it, though.” You observed him as a smile formed on your beautiful face. “I donʼt find this round interesting anymore since youʼre not in it.”

James swore you could possibly hear his heart thumping. That smile of yours could be the reason of his death one day. He shyly looked down, biting down a smile at your words. No, he couldnʼt act like this. You knew he hated you, he couldnʼt change that perspective yet. Not now.

“You look great, by the way.” Your voice brought him back to reality. He looked to the side only to find you already staring at him. Your sunglasses resting on your head, your shiny hair blown by the wind was the most gorgeous and breathtaking sight he has ever seen.

He cleared his throat. “You donʼt look bad either. I like it.” His voice came out low and dry.

“Yeah?” You raised your brows. “What did you like about it?” You whispered to him, sending him a shiver down to his spine.

“Em.. the swimsuit looks great. Your hair looks stunning.”

You giggled. “So youʼre saying Iʼm beautiful?”

“I guess so.” He drew his attention to the beach, avoiding eye contact. His cheeks heated up as soon as your eyes lingered on him.

“Thank you, baby.”

Baby?

He looked up at your now standing figure. You did a warm up before going into the water. “What did-”

“Come here!” You yelled at James. The poor boy was still confused with the new nickname you just gave him and now you wanted to play with him alone? On this beach? In front of your friends?

“Hello?” You yelled again. “Zhao Yufan!”

He still frowned at you. So you ran back to your umbrella and pulled Jamesʼ hands. “Letʼs go!”

And he followed you. Everything felt like a slow motion to him. Thereʼs no way the annoying-popular-pretty girl next door was his crush, and to his liking, rather to spend time with him than her friends. James couldnʼt process anything as he kept playing with you and followed the flow. He didnʼt want to rush this moment, especially if youʼre not feeling the same way as he did.

Tonight was one of Jamesʼ friendʼs party and he invited you to be his fake date since he didnʼt have any girls left to chose. At least, thatʼs what he said to you. You basically didnʼt mind if it meant you had more time to spend with him instead. “Do I look good?”

You did a turn in front of him in your white sundress. James bit his inside cheek to hold his excitement, seeing you in that dress awakened something inside him. It felt like butterflies filling his stomach and doing dances in it. “You look gorgeous.”

Your smile crept on your face as you clung your arms with his. “Thank you, baby.”

Not that sweet nickname again. It was the second time you called him that since last summer vacation.

“Ready?” He opened his car door for you.

“I was born ready.” You wiggled your brows at him and sat on the passenger seat as James closed your door and went around the car.

Nearly 20 minutes later, you and James arrived at his friendʼs house. You clung your arms around his again as soon as you got down from his car. You played the role of his fake girlfriend too good. His head spun.

“Iʼm going to get us a drink.” You looked up at him through your lashes and he nodded. You smiled at him before leaving for the drinks. He could've sworn he almost fell on the floor because of your smile.

James finally realized he never actually hated you. Youʼre not as annoying as how he remembered, and youʼre also not an attention seeker. It was just you. Everyone adored you, just like how he adored you. Youʼre popular amongst his friends. Maybe thatʼs why he hated you. He hated the fact of not being chosen, especially by you. But all this time youʼve been together, you always prove him wrong.

“Is that your girl?” A blonde guy bumped his shoulder on Jamesʼ as he sipped a cup of soda in his hand.

“Yeah.” James rubbed his nape.

“Holy shit, man! Youʼre insane!” He looked at James with an amazed face. “I told you, you have to get out of your zone and find some hot chicks.”

James saw youʼre coming to his way. “Ni-ki, stop.”

The blonde guy—Ni-ki—did exactly as he was told and sipped more of his soda. “Hi.” You beamed. “What did I miss?” You passed one cup to James and looked at both James and Ni-ki.

“Wait, Iʼve never seen you before. Whatʼs your name?” Ni-ki changed the topic as he offered his hand to shake yours. “Iʼm Ni-ki, by the way.”

“Iʼm Y/N. Nice to meet you, Ni-ki.” You shook Ni-kiʼs hand and smiled. Your voice trailed off his ear like a melody.

James looked at you then at Ni-ki then looked at your handshake. It seemed like it didnʼt have an end. James cleared his throat and separated your hand softly from Ni-ki. “I think weʼre going to the balcony. You know, just to get some fresh air.”

Ni-ki let the two of you leave and use the balcony. “Relax, I wonʼt take your girl. Unless you want me to.” Ni-ki winked at James before leaving to meet another group of friends.

“Is that your friend who hosted this party?” You stared straight to the front, sipping the last sip of your soda.

“Yeah, we have been friends since middle school.” James looked down on the road, there were a lot of teenagers standing and holding a cup on their hands chatting with each other.

“He seems like a good friend.”

“He is. He is my only friend.” James didnʼt know why heʼd said that to you. It slipped out of his mouth.

You looked at him, waiting until he looked back at you. When he did, he couldnʼt read your expression at all.

You nodded after a while and formed a thin smile on your lips. “Thatʼs nice. At least you have someone to rely on.”

The balcony door opened and Ni-kiʼs head showed. “Does anyone want wine?”

James glanced at you, finding your figure leaning to the balcony railing as you watched him. “I want it.”

“Iʼll be right back!”

“Wow. I never know you drink.” You chuckled.

James shrugged. “Uh... yeah. Iʼve been drinking since our first year at senior high school.”

Lie.

You formed an ʼohʼ as a response. Both of you remained silent until Ni-ki came back with two glasses of wine in his hands. “Here we go.” He put the glasses on the table at the balcony.

“Thank you, Ni-ki.”

“Thanks, man.”

“My pleasure, you lovebirds.” Ni-ki winked at both of you and closed the balcony door again.

You glanced at James. The boy seemed to hesitate taking a sip of the glass. “You sure you want to drink?” You rubbed his back, feeling concerned about him. He didnʼt need to do anything to prove it to you anyway.

“Yes.” He nodded and gulped. His Adamʼs apple bobbed up and down due to his anxiousness.

“You donʼt have to drink it if itʼs your first time.” You placed your hands on his and squeezed it. Jamesʼ eyes widened as he looked at you. He caught you off guard and thereʼs nothing more embarrassing than this moment.

“How did- how did you- ”

“Look, James. You donʼt have to do this. I knew it was your first time. Iʼve been with you since weʼre five, remember? I know when youʼre lying.”

His voice became raspy as he looked to the other side. “This is so embarrassing.”

“Nothing is embarrassing.”

“I always embarrass myself in front of you. Itʼs embarrassing.”

“No,” you cupped his face and forced him to look at you. “Youʼre not embarrassing. Itʼs cute when you try to act cool in front of me.”

His eyes became glossy. Did he want to cry?

“Can I, at least try it? Just for this time?” James didnʼt know why he asked for your permission. But he still did it anyway.

“Okay, baby. If you donʼt like it, you can stop drinking it. Okay?”

Baby. Baby. Baby. That word hung in Jamesʼ head a bit too many times. Whatʼs your intention for calling him that name? You didnʼt say you like him, nor did he make it obvious that he likes you.

James nodded and drank the wine like a thirsty kid. You frowned at the sight and held his empty glass before itʼs falling down on the floor. “Hey. Look at me.” You cupped Jamesʼ face again. His eyes were open-closed, his lips parted a bit and became glossy, his cheeks turned as red as tomatoes. He was drunk.

“Let me take you home.” You grabbed his car keys in his pocket and placed his arm over your shoulder as a support for him to walk.

By that, you drove back to your house. James mumbled a lot of things, but you couldnʼt catch it. Sometimes he whined, and the other time he stayed silent.

You parked his car in his garage and helped him walk to his bedroom. His parents were sleeping, thatʼs why you did it by yourself and didnʼt want to wake them up. “Youʼre so freaking heavy.”

James giggled. He fixed his black glasses to see the path to his bedroom clearly. “Thank you.” He mumbled when you put his body on his bed.

You breathed heavily and passed out next to him. You stared at his ceiling as you placed your hand on your chest, feeling your heart beating so fast. “You look so beautiful today. It makes me crazy.”

You looked over at him, finding him hide his face in the back of his arm. “Really?” You moved his arm to look at his now red face. It became more red than the last time you saw it.

He pouted, really pouted this time, and nodded at you. “I- I donʼt know how to explain it.”

“Well, you can go slowly.“ You ran your fingers to his hair, giving him a sense of relaxation. “Iʼll wait.”

“I just donʼt think I hate you.”

“I know.”

“...You knew?” His eyes widened, reminding you of a kitten who lost his mother.

“Remember how I told you that you liked me last Christmas?”

He nodded. “I just realized I donʼt really have any reason to hate you. Maybe all of it came from the jealousy I had if you end up not choosing me over your friends.”

“I was scared, like really scared, that one day you would leave me. Thatʼs why I always make a statement that I hate you because I read people would think about someone who hates them.”

“It may sounds weird and Iʼm sorry if it is, but I like you. So, so much. You canʼt imagine it. Every time you smiled, looked, and talked to me, or annoyed me I felt myself falling harder.”

Oh, sweet boy.

“Iʼm not saying this in order you have to be with me because I donʼt have friends.... I just feel like, I really need to confess how I feel to you. I feel like I always like you,” he stopped for a second. “No, I love you. I feel like I always love you.”

You stared at him and stayed silent. James started to wonder why you didnʼt utter a single word since his confession. Did he do something wrong? Did he hurt your feelings? Did he offend you?

Your mouth parted a little and closed again, as if youʼre hesitate to say something. He sat up straight and fixed his glasses. He met your eyes and tried to find the answer. “Did I - ”

“I love you too.” You cut him off. And oh, his expression was so precious to you. “I did all the annoying things just to get close to you. I hope you donʼt mind.” You smirked at him.

He was confused. This couldnʼt be real. Thereʼs no freaking way a girl like you liked him in the first place. He was just an ordinary guy. “This is not a joke, you know.” His dizziness was long forgotten because of your answer.

You gasped and put a hand on your chest, playing dramatically at his words. “Why did you think I was joking?” You moved closer to him as he slowly moved backwards. No, no.

“Thereʼs no way you would like me.“ His voice cracked. He looked down at his fingers and gulped.

“Did you realize Iʼve been calling you baby?” You moved closer and closer until thereʼs only a few inches left between the two of you. James nodded, the thought of you calling him baby made his heart beat like crazy.

“I spent most of my time annoying you. Did you realize why I did that?” You whispered to him.

“Y-yeah.. yeah.”

You smiled at him. “Good.”

Thereʼs a long silence after the conversation. Both of you sank down in your own thoughts. “Can I be your boyfriend?”

“Is that how you ask someone out?”

“Wait- do you wanna be- ”

“Yes, you can and I wanna be your girlfriend.”

His eyes turned glossy as he stared at you, your lips to be exact. He held your face and leaned forward. “Can I kiss you?”

“Of course.”

He pressed his lips on yours and both of you moved in sync. The kiss was messy, but you didnʼt mind. Thereʼs always room to learn. He broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against yours. “Did my glasses bother you?”

You shook your head. “No.”

He nodded. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, baby.”

He grinned at you. “Keep calling me that, I like that nickname.”

“Okay, baby.” You pecked his lips again. “Can I sleep here tonight? I donʼt wanna wake your family up.”

Classic.

“Of course. I can sleep on the floor-”

“Youʼre sleeping next to me.”

“Next to you?”

“Why? You donʼt want it?”

“No! I want it.” He answered immediately, causing you to giggle. “Youʼre so cute.” You pecked his cheek and positioned yourself on his bed.

“Come here.” You opened your arms as he crawled and hugged your body. The two of you enjoyed the cozy moment and slept until the next morning.

“Howʼs everyone doing?” Evan starts the conversation. The five of you were classmates in high school, and this is the first time you have  seen them since graduating.

“So... anyone got a partner? How about you?” Evan tugs at you while grilling the meat. You smile at him and nod. “Yes, I have a boyfriend.”

Everyone cheers and congratulates you. Evan smiles and puts meat on your plate. You donʼt think much of it. Minutes pass, but Evan still puts meat on your plate every time itʼs empty. And only you. Whatʼs he doing?

“Baby.” You look over your shoulder and find Juhoon standing behind you in his navy track jacket. Everyone stops and looks at Juhoon as well.

“Babe! Everyone, this is Juhoon, my boyfriend. And Juhoon, thatʼs Zoey, Megan, Noah, and Evan.” You introduce them properly and Juhoon shakes their hands one by one.

When it comes to Evan, Juhoon introduces himself again, gripping his hand tightly as if Evan were going to run away. “Hello, Iʼm her boyfriend.”

Juhoon gives Evan a thin smile before sitting between you and him. “What are you doing?” You whisper to Juhoon. 

He immediately grabs the tongs and starts grilling the meat. He blows on the piece of meat he just grilled and feeds you. “Say ah.”

You open your mouth and let Juhoon feed you for the rest of the night. Zoey, Megan, and Noah are fangirling over the two of you, while Evan seems to be quieter than before. After dinner, you and your friends say goodbye to each other. 

“See you soon, honey.” Zoey and Megan kiss your cheek before leaving. Noah taps your shoulder, and Evan gives you a brief hug.

“I donʼt like that red-haired guy.” Juhoon confesses.

“Evan?” 

“His nameʼs weird.” 

“...what?”

Juhoon holds your hand and keeps it in his pocket. He walks you home in silence. “I didnʼt know you were gonna come tonight. We shouldʼve come together.” 

“Yeah. Itʼs fine.” Juhoon rubs your hand and smiles at you.

When you arrive at your apartment, you sit on the couch and turn on the TV. “Come here.” You open your arms, inviting Juhoon to cuddle with you on the couch. He lies on you and intertwines his legs with yours. He clings to you like a koala. 

“I miss you so much.” He mumbles.

“Please, youʼre literally with me from morning to night.” You giggle.

“I donʼt like that red-haired guy.”

“Okay...? And whyʼs that?” You play with his hair. “He flirted with you.”

“He definitely didnʼt do it.”

“I saw it with my own eyes,” he looks up at you. “His gestures, his tone, and his eyes. I saw everything. He likes you.”

“Yeah?” You meet his eyes. “And? Are you jealous?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “The meat he gave you was burnt. You didnʼt even notice it.”

“Itʼs not good for your health.” Juhoon stares at the TV screen and pulls you closer.

You chuckle. “Youʼre right. I didnʼt notice that.”

“Whatʼs your plan tomorrow?”

“Iʼm gonna go to the public library in town. I need new books to read.”

“Who are you gonna go with?”

“Evan. Because he told me thereʼs this cool book Iʼm definitely gonna like. I canʼt wait to read it.”

“No,” Juhoon sits up and looks at you. “I mean, go with me instead. You can ask for the title tonight, and we can go together tomorrow. Just us.”

“Oh, honey.” You cup his face. “You look like a turtle when youʼre jealous.”

“Tell me thatʼs a joke.”

“Well, turtles are cute.”

“Do you think Iʼm cute?” He grins at you.

“I believe I just said turtles.”

“Yeah, I donʼt like to be called cute either. Iʼd rather be called handsome or sexy.” Juhoon shrugs and lies down on you again. His hands wrap around your body.

“So, youʼre gonna go with me, right? I mean, tomorrow.”

“It depends,” you stop playing with his hair. “If you confess what youʼre feeling tonight, we can talk about it.”

Juhoon remains silent for almost one minute. “Yes, I was jealous. Iʼm not comfortable seeing you get touched or flirted with by some perverts who think theyʼre going to be with you someday. Thatʼs not going to happen because Iʼm still your boyfriend. Nobody gets to disrespect you like that.”

“Iʼm gonna go with you tomorrow.”

Juhoonʼs eyes widen and he sits again. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, why not? I can text him-”

“Donʼt,” Juhoon raises his index finger. “Can I text him instead? Please.” He pouts at you. And you swear you just want to eat him alive. Heʼs such a baby. Your baby.

“Okay.” You beam at him.

“Okay.” He smiles and stares at you, completely mesmerized by your appearance. A little messy hair, cheeks flushed from the cold, and glossy lips. “What kind of gloss are you using today?”

“A pink one. I think it kinda tastes like strawberry.” You purse your lips. Seconds later, you finally realize why he asked you that. “Why?”

“Nothing.” Juhoon shakes his head, but he still looks at you. His eyes look dark and glossy under the dim light. 

“You shouldʼve known better about what you want, baby.” You squeeze his hand.

“Stop teasing me.” Juhoon groans, and you laugh. “Okay, okay. I wonʼt do that again.” You giggle. 

You turn your attention back to the TV, trying to focus on the first episode of Gossip Girl. Juhoon clears his throat and intertwines his fingers with yours. 

“I- Can I kiss you?” He mumbles.

“Of course.” You look at him. “Do you have to- ”

He pecks you. The two of you stay silent. “Thatʼs it?” You raise your brows at him, trying to hold your laugh.

“You donʼt have to be shy.”

“Iʼm not shy! I... I just- ”

And with that, you gently cup his face and press your lips on his. “Is it better?” You pull away and look at his eyes. 

“Thatʼs so much better. Thank you.” Juhoon grins at you before pecking your lips again. The two of you go back to watching TV for the rest of the night. 

“i donʼt know, let me think.” you knit your brows. james raises his eyebrows at you, signaling the ʼare you serious?ʼ look. “i think iʼm going to be on martinʼs.” you grin at james.

“...why?” james gasps.

“hm.. might be because martin seems stronger to me.” you give martin a side eye. the two of you agree to make james excited over something because the boy seems to be out of place. you know james has had a lot on his mind lately, and in order to help him relieve his stress, you gather his friends at their dorm and decide to play all day long. no phone, no work, just play. but james doesnʼt seem to be paying much attention until now.

“okay, since no oneʼs supporting me now.” james positions himself and holds martinʼs right hand. 

their friends gather around the table—watching the arm wrestling between martin and james carefully. you hear the faint voices of keonho, juhoon, and seonghyeon about whoʼs going to win. juhoon is on jamesʼ side, and the others seem to be a bit uncertain on which side to choose.

“wait,” james speaks up. “what if i win?”

“iʼll buy us dinner. howʼs that sound?” martin answers him. keonho, juhoon, and seonghyeon let out a “yeah”, “whoa”, “go get him” as a support to martin. 

“but if i win,” martin continues. “you have to buy it for us instead.”

“sounds good.” james agrees to martin almost immediately. 

“okay, let me count down.” you hold martin and jamesʼ hands together. “3, 2, 1!”

the round starts and martin struggles to hold his hand up within seconds. meanwhile, james seems satisfied with martinʼs expression. he looks at you with the ʼsee? you chose the wrong sideʼ look. 

you give james a thin smile. “letʼs go, martin!” and cheer for martin instead. 

“i canʼt hold it!” martin squeaks and holds jamesʼ hand for dear life. 

and by that, james wins. the round ends in 30 seconds. “i knew heʼs gonna win. heʼs basically the strongest among us.” juhoon claps.

“heʼs too strong, man.” martin stands up and sighs. 

“i want kebab for dinner. anyone wanna join?” martin grabs his phone from his pocket. and the boys surround him to give the list of food they want to eat.

“so, howʼs your boy martin doing?” james bumps his shoulder against you. 

“heʼs fine.” you answer him absentmindedly.

“okay.” he answers. his tone feels cold. you immediately look at him, finding him staring straight at his friends. you know heʼs mad—or jealous to be exact—but he hasnʼt left your side since the arm wrestling match ends.

“youʼre not going to buy dinner?” you ask him.

“no.”

“why?”

“i wanna do it with you. we can grab it later and let them order first.” he turns his gaze toward you.

“okay.” you grin at him.

martin, keonho, juhoon and seonghyeon start to eat their food once itʼs arrived, while you and james are still struggling with what food you want to eat on his bed. james holds his phone up with his left hand so both of you can see the menu on the delivery app. his right hand caresses your left knee. 

“iʼm fine with anything, really.” you put your face on his shoulder.

“okay, baby.” he kisses your cheek before ordering. “done.” james places his phone on a nightstand next to his bed. he leans on his headboard and pats his chest, signaling you to lie on him.

you excitedly lie on him and hug his waist. the two of you cuddle in silence, enjoying the moment. “you know that i never meant it that way, right?” you trace small circles on jamesʼ chest.

“what is?”

“how i cheered for martin today.” you look up at him.

“i thought you were serious because you seemed like it.” he meets your eyes and you groan. 

“no, i swear itʼs not like that.” you hug him tighter. “okay, iʼll tell you a secret. martin and i agreed to make you forget whateverʼs been bothering you today. even just for a while. genuinely because we think your body is here, but your mind doesnʼt. you weren't really having fun today.”

“but deep down, i still cheered for you. i cheered for martin because we need to see you get distracted and excited over something else.”

james stays silent and plays with your hair while listening to you. “iʼm sorry if that sounds childish... are you mad?” you look up at him again, finding heʼs already looking at you.

“no.” 

“seriously?”

“yes.”

“it seems like youʼre mad at me.” you pout.

“what? why?” you catch him off guard.

“you furrow your eyebrows when something unpleasant is happening.” you mimic jamesʼ expression and he lets out a laugh. a genuine laugh.

“iʼm sorry, baby,” he giggles. “i know you and martin meant well. i never had any negative thoughts about you. iʼm sorry for furrowing my eyebrows every time something is unpleasant.” he beams at you.

“so youʼre not mad?”

“no.”

“youʼre not jealous?” you pout your lips even more.

james hums. “i guess not.”

“great,” you push him aside. “now you donʼt care when your girlfriend is around another guy. what a poor girl.” you cross your arms and pretend to be mad at him. but james definitely knows how to get you back.

“baby,” james hugs your waist from the back. his figure covers you like a jacket. “honey?” he looks at you from the side.

“what do you want?”

“okay, i was jealous.”

“no, you donʼt mean it.”

“no, i mean it.”

“ha, got you!” you smirk at him with joy. “i knew you were going to say that.”

“i had to say that so you wonʼt be mad at me anymore.” 

“what the fuck?” your mouth opens.

“kidding.” he grins at you. “can i get a kiss?”

“no.”

“why?” 

“ask your banana friend to answer that.”

“babyyy.” he groans. “please? i havenʼt got a kiss from you today.” he puckers his lips.

“if i grant your wish, what will i get?” you turn your body to him.

“let me think,” james stares at you for a while. “you will get free kisses and cuddles any time and anywhere. from me of course. not from martin.”

“sounds interesting. iʼll accept that.” you smile and the two of you lean toward each other. jamesʼ lips feel soft against you. he asks for permission to explore your mouth with his tongue and you immediately let him in.

the kiss goes slow and steady. james holds your face and tilts your head to the side to deepen the kiss. your tongues intertwine and the sound of your kissing fills the room. you bet the others can hear it as well and theyʼre going to tease you about that, but you donʼt care. your mind fogs. jamesʼ hand on your face, his lips on your lips, and his tongue inside you. everything feels overwhelming.

drrt drrt.

jamesʼ phone buzzes and shows a notification that the food has arrived. youʼd be lying if you said you werenʼt a little disappointed when the two of you have to stop what youʼve been doing. “iʼm gonna get it. you wait here. we can continue later.” you nod with a smile and he pecks your lips before going outside to take the dinner.

"i feel like i don't belong there." you're standing beside him while he's packing his things into a suitcase. he stops what he's been doing for almost 30 minutes and looks up at you. "what do you mean?"

"i feel like this is supposed to be your vacation, not mine. you should be spending it alone with your friends." you sit down next to him, letting your head falls onto his shoulder.

martin laughs. "no, baby," he tucks your hair behind your ear. "my vacation is yours too. you don't need to worry. i would be super happy if you come."

"what if they think i'm intruding?"

"they literally asked me if you were coming with us." martin smiles at you.

"really?" you smile brightly at him and he replies with a nod and hugs you tight.

at 6 p.m., you and martin get in the car first. and then, followed by james, seonghyeon, juhoon, and last but not least keonho. the car leaves at 7 and arrives at the villa around 8 p.m. everyone starts to unpack their things once they get their own rooms. keonho, seonghyeon, and martin are roommates, and so are james and juhoon. while you... you get a room to yourself.

"i sleep alone tonight." you mumble.

"oh no, are you scared? cause this handsome boyfriend of yours is so ready to accompany you!" martin hugs you from the back.

"stop being cringe." you roll your eyes and laugh.

all of you are enjoying dinner together. even though you're not really familiar with their topics, they never leave you feeling left behind and always ask about your opinions. that's what you love about them.

after finishing dinner, you walk around the villa to take pictures while the others are preparing the desserts. when the desserts are ready, keonho calls you and you immediately jog back to the villa. "guys, look over here! say cheese!" you position your digital camera to take their picture multiple times.

"can you stop it?" martin pouts because you still take pictures here and there. "wait, i don't wanna forget this moment. look up here." you stand next to him—ready to take his picture.

"now smile." you order and he immediately curls his lips upward at the camera. "no, not like that."

he smiles widely until his eyes disappear. "you look possessed."

"i think he always looks like that." seonghyeon adds—making the whole room laugh.

martin glares at seonghyeon and you. you click your camera and catch the perfect moment when martin looks upset in the photo. "aw, you look so cute." you kiss his cheek as an apology before sitting next to him and starting to eat.

desserts time is over and one game of uno starts. everybody enjoys the game. the loser has to wash all of the dishes in the kitchen. this time, it's seonghyeon's turn to lose. seonghyeon grumbles but still decides to do it anyway.

laughter fills the villa that night and none of you realize how quickly time passes. as the night gets later, you excuse yourself and decide to go to your bedroom. you lay on your bed while scrolling down on your phone. until there's someone texting you:

martini:

are you sleeping, my princess?

you:

yes

martini:

🫪

can i come in??? i miss you sm :(

you:

the door's not locked

martini:

omw!!

a few seconds later, you hear someone's knocking. and martin's head pops out behind the door, "hello beautiful." he blows a kiss to you before stepping in. "why are you so cringe today?" you squint your eyes.

he immediately lies next to you and wraps his hands around your waist—legs cuddling your feet, seeking for warmth. "i love doing cringy things with you."

you chuckle and continue to scroll on your phone.

"who are you texting?" he suddenly asks.

"no one." your eyes are still glued to your phone.

"is there something urgent you need to do with your phone right now?"

"no, why?" you finally look at him and immediately realize why he's asking those questions by the way his lips curve down.

"then why are you ignoring me? i came from my room to be here with you and you're already replacing me with your phone?"

"oh, here we go again." you throw your phone under the pillows and gaze at him for a few moments. "why's my baby so upset today?" you stroke his blonde hair.

"i miss you."

"but i'm here, baby."

"but it seems like you're not paying attention to me. you took pictures here and there, talked to my teammates, but you didn't have time to look at me even just for 5 minutes."

". .did i?"

"yes."

"oh, i'm sorry, baby. i didn't know my baby needed my attention so bad today." you hug him in your arms and caress his hair slowly.

"hahaha, funny." he answers sarcastically, though he doesn't refuse your hug and welcome you back in his arms.

there's this long silence between you and him. "i really mean it though." your voice comes a little hoarse.

"what?" he frowns at you.

"i'm sorry for not paying enough attention to you today," you smile at him. "now i'm here and you're gonna get all the attention you need." you peck his lips.

"okay." he grins at you and starts to close his eyes, being around you always makes him feel safe and relaxed.

"are you not going back to your room?"

"what?" he immediately opens his eyes—the sleepiness goes right away after hearing your question. "are you trying to kick me out right now?"

"no."

"then?"

"i don't wanna let you go tonight."

"oh, shit." his cheeks turn red and he looks away from you, feeling shy and also embarrassed for the negative thoughts.

"there's no way i'm letting this handsome man leave my room tonight."

"you're creepy."

"i definitely can't do this shit with you." you both laugh before cuddling each other into sleep.

the next day, keonho and seonghyeon look out for martin everywhere. "hyung, did you see martin hyung?" they ask james and juhoon who just came out from their room. james and juhoon look at each other before shaking their heads.

"last night he told me he wanted to go to the bathroom and he never comes back." seonghyeon speaks up. all of them stay silent for a while.

"i know." keonho smirks and goes to your room—james, seonghyeon and juhoon follow him from the back. "he must be in here. we're gonna open the door and surprise them, okay? 1, 2—"

before keonho finishes the countdown, the bedroom door opens by you. "what are you guys doing?" you raise your eyebrows at them.

"we thought—"

"yo, what are you guys doing in front of my girl's room?" martin cuts keonho and they turn back to find his tall figure's brushing his teeth while frowning at them.

"we thought you slept outside last night." seonghyeon grins and they finally go back to their routines. you and martin look at each other and giggle. martin knows his teammates would look for him after he's gone last night so he sneaked back into his room early in the morning. he smooched your face before going while you're still half asleep.

"did you have your breakfast?" you walk toward him.

"not yet." martin's still brushing his teeth.

"i'm gonna make breakfast for you. finish your brushing first." you kiss his cheek and rush to the kitchen.

the sun shines brightly, radiating the warmth of summer you've always missed. after having breakfast, keonho suggests taking a walk outside the villa. you and martin walk together in the back, while his teammates are already way ahead of the two of you. "did you have a good time here?" martin observes your expression as he intertwines his fingers with yours.

"absolutely." you smile at him.

"ayo, lovebirds! can you walk faster?" keonho yells and the two of you immediately realize you've been left behind.

"coming!" martin yells back. "let's go!" he holds your hand tight and run together with you.

time passes and after losing a vote on what movie to watch, everyone ended up binge-watching Juhoon's favorite movies—which are the Before trilogy. "these movies make me feel single as fuck." seonghyeon groans.

the sixth of you decide to go home at 9 p.m., since martin and his teammates need to practice at the studio the next morning. you pack your things 1 hour before and help martin pack his suitcase as well.

"it feels like a family vacation," martin suddenly speaks.

you fold his clothes and put them in his suitcase. "yeah? why's that?"

"i had that feeling, you know." you hum at his words, trying to understand. "feels like james hyung, juhoon, hyeon, and keonho are the kids. i'm the dad, and you're the mom." he points at himself and you when he said dad and mom.

"i should've known where this topic's going."

"why? you don't wanna have a family with me?"

"dude, you're too young to talk about this." you zip his suitcase and glance at him.

"don't call me dude," he pouts at you. "you're clearly not in love with me anymore."

"the hell you're talking about, dude." you nudge him with your elbow and stand—trying to go back to your room. "no, no, no." he holds your wrist.

"i'm not gon' let you go if you're still calling me dude."

"okay, martin. i wanna bring my suitcase outside of the room so we won't be late."

"who the fuck is martin?"

"you."

"babyyyy." he throws a tantrum.

"okay, babe."

"c'mon, you can do it better." martin shoots you his puppy eyes.

"honey, can i please leave now? i'll let you sit next to me on the car if you let me go."

"really?" his eyes brighten and you nod. "okay, but kiss me first." he looks up at you and pouts his lips even more—signaling you to kiss him on the lips. you kiss his cheek instead and run back to your room.

"hey, that's not fair!"

after everything settles, all of you get in the car. you sit at the back, waiting for martin. "thank god, you save this seat for me." he sits next to you and you immediately cling your arms around his.

"stop pretending we're not here, you guys!" seonghyeon yells from the front seat.

"you can stop being jealous and try to get some sleep!" martin yells back.

the rest of you laugh at martin and seonghyeon's bickering. you place your head on his shoulder and close your eyes.

"sleep well, baby." martin whispers in your ear and kisses your head.

as the car hums quietly down the road, you drift off to sleep thinking that maybe martin was right—it really did feel like a family vacation. your little family vacation.

"where's james?" you ask keonho, eyes still wandering the whole room—not finding his existence.

"he went to buy a cake for hyeon. you can wait here, i'm gonna grab some candles." keonho leads you to sit on a couch in the living room and rushes back to the kitchen.

the party is simple. they only invite someone who's really close to seonghyeon since the boy's very shy around others and they don't want to make him uncomfortable on his birthday. a few balloons sit randomly on each corner of the room. there's a banner on the wall that says "happy birthday, seonghyeon" with his photo on it.

not so long after that, you hear the clicking sound on the front door and see james holding paper bags in his left hand and a box of cake in the right. "cake's coming!" james yells. you approach him immediately and try to help him.

"babe!" james' eyes lighten and he smiles so brightly at your presence. "i thought you wouldn't come! i was so sad today." he kisses the corner of your lips before the two of you bring all the stuff to the living room.

"i decided to come since keonho wouldn't stop texting me while i am at work." james stops for a while, hoping he had misheard what you said. "my phone keeps buzzing all day, you know."

"why would keonho text you?" james squints his eyes in suspicion.

"he texted about preparing hyeon's birthday. he thinks i'm going to like this party." you answer absentmindedly while putting the cake on the table.

james shrugs, thinking it was no big deal. he doesn't need to be jealous. it's just keonho, right?

"here are the candles." keonho comes with a few candles in his hand. "hyung! you're home." he grins. james answers him with a quick smile before putting pink whipped cream on seonghyeon's cake.

"i wanna do it too!" you exclaim and ask james for the whipped cream. he lends you the whipped cream and settles behind you on the couch, absentmindedly pulling you back until you're comfortably sitting between his legs.

keonho sits right next to james' left foot—making him unintentionally sits right next to you. "do you think seonghyeon would like this party?" he asks you.

"definitely! why wouldn't he?" you shoot him a little smile and continue to put whipped cream on seonghyeon's cake.

"i know, right?" keonho nods. the three of you remain silent for a while before keonho interrupts again. "do you think hyeon would prefer green candles or blue ones?"

"i think green would suit his vibes more."

"that's exactly what i thought! that's why i brought mostly the green ones." he smiles brightly at you, and you answer with a nod.

5 minutes later, keonho asks you again. "would i look good in blonde hair? just like martin hyung."

"ask martin." james mumbles.

"you would! oh my god, it would be exciting don't you think, james?" you look at james—signaling him to agree with you.

"i don't know no james." james stares at you. who's james? where are baby, babe, honey and all the sweet nicknames going?

"okay, babe. it would be exciting, right?" you emphasize the word babe and squeeze james' thigh—forcing him to nod at your question.

"oh, i'm not hearing this." keonho closes his ears with both hands, causing you to laugh at his reaction.

15 minutes later, seonghyeon, martin, and juhoon come through the front door from the studio. everything went as planned and seonghyeon was so happy.

"you're coming! thank you so much!" seonghyeon gives you a brief hug and accepts your gift. "a ps5 for me? thank you! hyung is so lucky to have you." seonghyeon giggles and james just rolls his eyes.

the night is getting late. james drinks a cup of soda on the couch. martin plays an acoustic guitar and rumbles random melodies. seonghyeon and keonho play with the ps5 you just gave him. and you play chess with juhoon. "hey, that's cheating!" your voice heard— making james looks directly at your way.

"no, it's not." juhoon answered calmly. "you're not gonna win if you keep playing that old tactic, you know?"

"you know what? i always won back then using this 'old tactic'."

"that's why i called it old."

the two of you laugh and james' definitely not having it. he clears his throat and proceeds to stand. "i'm gonna get some rest. once again, happy birthday hyeon." he taps seonghyeon's shoulder before walking to his bedroom.

your eyes dart towards him until his figure disappears behind the door. you excuse yourself to the boys and quickly follow james. you knock on his door, "can i come in?"

after he said yes, you come in and see he is curling in his white blanket—his back faces you. you close the door and hug him from the back. "hi handsome." you smile and kiss his exposed cheek. "you look so handsome today." your compliment makes his cheeks blushed but he tries so hard not to smile.

he clears his throat. "thanks. you don't look bad either."

you mumble and play with his dark brown hair. "what happened, baby?"

"nothing."

"it seems like a thing." you answer him back calmly—still playing with his strands. he remains silent.

"are you jealous?" you bite your lips, trying not to laugh at this very serious situation.

james' eyes widen and he immediately turns around to face you. "what? me? jealous? no. absolutely not. why would i?"

you smile at his reaction and kiss his cheek. "you're looking extremely handsome today. what's with the glasses? i love it." you ignore his answer and touch his glasses.

"it's called fashion."

"i know, and you're looking too good with it." you pout.

"...okay, yeah. i'm jealous. but just a little. are you satisfied?"

to james, seeing you acting all pouty and clingy around him makes his stomach full of butterflies, just like how he met you for the first time. he loves you that much.

"i knew it!" you celebrate after his confession. "you could've just told me!" you cling your arms around his waist and rest your chin on his chest—looking up directly to meet his eyes.

"i don't wanna ruin hyeon's birthday." he looks to the other side—or basically anywhere as long as he doesn't have to meet your puppy eyes, because he would genuinely become a jelly right now.

"aww," you pinch his cheek. "you know you're the only person i love for these past 2 years. out of everyone in that room, i've been looking for you since i stepped in this dorm today."

"you're literally the sexiest man alive and i'm not planning to let you go that easily." you smirk at him.

"stop, it's getting cringe."

"but you love it when i compliment you, though."

"you're right," he smiles and wraps your body in his embrace. "i love whatever you do."

you stay at your position for a while. "if you have to choose, would you pick me or the boys?" he suddenly asks.

"you." you look up at him, finding he's already staring at you. "really?" his eyes brighten.

"no."

"BABE." james looks at you in disbelief.

"of course i choose you, you silly." you peck his lips. before he could kiss you back, you were already breaking the kiss. so he chases after your lips, making it the sweetest kiss you had after a long day.

"hyung, did you see my—" juhoon's voice was heard with the sound of the door opening. "i didn't see anything!" juhoon left right after he saw the two of you.

james lets out a loud sigh and you laugh. "we need to lock the door next time."

martin takes off his mustard yellow jacket and hangs it on the bedroom door. he stays there for almost a minute. you tilt your head to the side and call him. "baby?"

he doesn't answer. he's just... there. not moving.

"baby, what's the matter?" your voice softens. everyone would say martin's such a tough guy—being a hardworking boy since he was a child—and isn't going to be upset over the smallest thing in the world. but here you are, seeing his tall figure won't talk to you before you baby him after a long day outside.

"how's the trip with the boys?" you try to ask him again. martin told you a week ago he's going to a picnic with james, juhoon, seonghyeon and keonho. "it's gonna be hella fun out there! we're just gonna talk about music and dance. i can't wait!" he said at that time.

you frown your eyebrows a little, waiting for his response. he turns his back, facing you with head hanging low and a disappointed expression. "they didn't listen to me. i did all the things—i drove the car, prepared the meal and stuff but keonho and hyeon keep teasing me by playing all day. we didn't even talk about music today!"

his tiny pout stays there. "all i wanted was to have a great time together but it seemed like they didn't care, and i am the only one who cares."

you signal him to sit next to you and he immediately shifts to your side—hands wrap around your tiny waist and his face buries on your neck. he lets out a loud sigh before snuggling more into you, as if you're going to puff with the wind if he lets you go. you welcome him with open arms, holding his big figure warmly in your arms and play with the strands of his blonde.

"so are you upset with them?" you ask, even though you already knew the answer. "yes," he says immediately. "i thought i'm gonna go crazy today."

"oh shut up." you laugh a little over his exaggerated expression.

martin laughs too. "thank you for asking." he says. you're keep playing with his strands and stay silent for a while.

"no need to thank me."

"i should."

"okay." you smile, staring straight to the black screen tv in front of you. it reflects your shadow with martin clinging on you on the bed, which is quite cute.

"your feelings are valid, you know," you start after a long silence. he hums to your words, eyes close slightly—feeling tired enough. "i know they feel comfortable around you since you've been such a good older brother to them. they thanked you for bringing them out of that studio and feel the nature. you know they didn't mean any harm to you, right? they're still a kid." you caress his left cheek with your finger.

"hey, i'm only like one year older than them!" martin straights his back and looks at you in disbelief. "i can't believe you defend them and not me."

great. now he's sulking.

"i know baby, i know." you cup his face, forcing him to look at you. "what i wanted to say is they just want to spend their free time with you doing other things. of course they care about music! you're all in one band, right? there's no way they don't care about music and dance."

"they just wanted to try doing other things with all of you, since you probably can't do anything after going back to the studio." you added.

martin pouts his lips even more. what you said is somehow true and he can't keep denying it. "you're right. i feel evil now."

you giggle. "you are."

"you're so mean." his face went shock.

"nooooo you know i don't mean it though!" you laugh and lean forward—smooching his face with kisses. "you know..." a kiss on the right cheek. "i love..." a kiss on the left cheek. "you..." a kiss on his nose. "so much." you stare at him for a while before leaving a short peck on his lips and smile.

"no i don't." his face goes serious. no smile, no giggle, just stare at you as if he's going to take your soul.

"really?" you cling your hands around his neck, closing the distance between the two of you. "what should i do to make you believe that i love you?"

"kiss me more."

"the pleasure is mine." you smile at him, and start pressing short kisses all over his face. he loves it when you show affection since you're not really into physical touch that often. he feels great. he feels like he's in the clouds.

after that, you kiss his lips slowly. his lips move with rhythm and you love to play along with it. you two break the kiss, feeling the need of air. forehead touches each other.

"i love you so much." you say breathlessly.

"i love you even more, baby." he steals a quick peck on your lips.

"so.. are you still upset?"

"no." he smiles beautifully before kissing your forehead. "thank you for always making me feel loved." he hugs you tight and closes the distance between you.

"anytime." you smiled at him before pressing your head against his chest and hugging him back.