The Journey to a Tinier Tim

Confession: one of the hardest parts about posting before and after pictures is I still feel like a before. I love who I've become and I'm comfortable in my own skin but I still dream and I still strive towards what I can become. No one posts pictures 3/4 of the way up Mt Everest, and the path to my personal summit seems to urge me forward. Lost 250 pounds? Time to put on muscle. Gained 10 pounds of muscle? Get 5 more. Squatted 1 plate? Get 2. Now 3. Get to 4. There is a thin line between being goal oriented and obsessive and I've danced back and forth across it so many times over the last 7.5 years that I could be a tour guide for that line. But if there's anything I've learned, it's that the best view is the one in the mirror. Become yourself. Are you on a plateau? Look yourself in the face, know you're enough and tell yourself, "I'm proud of you." That doesn't mean you should quit striving But you are already worthy of your love right now. The most powerful and lasting changes are made in love for self. Change because you love you are and are ready to become more of that person. Reject negative self talk. Remove negative people. Embrace your destiny. Until then, here's a work in progress picture. I'll see you at the top of Mount Everest ✌🏻🏔 📸 @linandjirsa

I don’t know if I can tell you the exact moment that I was ready to give up.⠀ ⠀ It's impossible to know if my ex-wife left me because I had given up or if I gave up because she left me. Did I lose my job because I wasn’t trying or did I stop trying because I lost my job?⠀ ⠀ When I found myself face down in a ditch, I was too depressed with where I was to ask how I got there and I was too hopeless to believe there was a way out.⠀ ⠀ Rock bottom is when the only thing you have left to quit or lose is the only thing that makes you alive. For me, it looked like a man googling suicide methodology and start writing letters to memorialize his feelings and treating every interaction like it would be his last. I stopped taking the baby aspirin for my heart and waited to feel my chest tightening. I floated down the stream waiting to hit the waterfall.⠀ ⠀ All of this time, I’m dealing with the hypocrisy of being a spiritual leader in a Church and an aspiring inspirational speaker when out of the blue, I’m called upon to speak to a group of incoming freshman at a local university about how to conquer the things that would hold them back as incoming freshman including the importance of avoiding unhealthy eating.⠀ ⠀ I chickened out of addressing that part of the talk and realized that I had given up on the last thing that I was good at and was providing value through: my teaching. I was officially a failure at life.⠀ ⠀ There’s something I realized after years of counseling. Thoughts of suicide were for me acceptable because I incorrectly saw suicide as a victimless crime. I had somehow convinced myself that no one would miss me or care or want me around. It wasn’t until I realized that my giving up was hurting the people I love (including past, present and future listeners to my talks) that my depression became something that I decided to neither live with nor die as a result of.⠀ ⠀ Losing weight, like any great personal change is a leap of faith. You eat healthy, move more and only after you act do the results come. Every year we get more used to the credit card mentality: we want the TV now and we don’t want to have to pay for it for 5 years.⠀ ⠀ (remainder of article linked (at Los Angeles, California)

My father was born in Germany barely 60 days after D Day. Talk about timing... I remember understanding what that meant for the first time as a kid. Seeing his ravaged feet from years of not being able to afford shoes. He told me that he saw the American soldiers that lived there after the war with their beautiful American wives and he dreamt of coming here. He arrived here with nothing but dreams and no skills worth mentioning. He went to Junior college and appeared in a registry of top students, transferred to an ivy league school, Brown University. He became a citizen, met my mom and I was the first American born Bauer in my family. He worked harder than anyone I knew. He took chances, made mistakes but succeeded more often than he failed and before long found himself in charge of international franchise relations for KFC which let him return professionally to his Homeland. He would return to America to retire. America is not perfect but I don't know if his story could have occurred anywhere else. We pray often that God will bless America. I believe that one of the greatest ways He does is by sending us the dreamers who come here, kick ass, take names and raise children in their likeness. Happy Independence Day all and May God Bless America. (at Los Angeles, California)

As I look back on these incredible wedding photos from @linandjirsa , I feel so proud of the transformed version of me and it got me thinking about my history. Up until 2011, I had been obese my entire life. I'd tried losing weight for all the wrong reasons. As a teenager, I lost 3/4 of the weight for a girl I had a crush on and gained it right back when she still didn't like me. I lost weight for my oldest daughter when she was born but she loved me just the way I was so I stopped. In the end I had to have a moment wherein I came to myself (I told the story on the TEDx stage, link in profile) and got sick and tired of being sick and tired. The weight came pouring off but this time, it's been gone for over 7 years. I still eat the same, I still keep an active diet and I STILL STRUGGLE ALL THE TIME. It's like the story in the Christian Bible when Jesus says the guy that listens to Jesus is like a person who has a house built on a rock foundation and the one who doesn't is sand. In both cases, the rain comes and floods the home so the rock house stands while the sand house floats off. Whether you do everything "right" on your journey to your best self or not, there will be storms. Sometimes those storms manifest as a work pizza party you have to attend or a nasty breakup that makes you miss your ex lovers, Ben & Jerry. Ready or not, challenges will come down on you. What does your foundation look like? A lifelong commitment to health and your best life does not end with setbacks, missteps, weight gain or plateaus. It definitely does not end when you hit goal weight. It doesn't stop when abs show up or even now, when you meet the woman of your dreams. So build your foundation, look up and scream, "bring on the rain!" We've got this.

In times of feast and in times of famine, I will forever find comfort in these three words: She said yes.

Can you go back to your 6 year old self? When someone asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up, you didn't say an office manager or an accountant. You said Astronaut or Point Guard or President. You didn't say unhealthy, unhappy or unsuccessful. Whether you're 6 or 100, nothing has changed. You don't outgrow dreaming and you can still take action towards worthy pursuits. I had spent every single one of my 31 years of days emotionally overeating, binging and letting my life go. I felt like these habits were a part of my identity-- obesity was my genes, my brain, heart and soul. Until one day I came to myself and decided to reprogram all the garbage I told myself about who I was and what I was destined for. I dreamt of health and I took repeated action that will never stop. I Lost One Pound 225 Times. What is your dream and what is one action can you take today towards that dream?

I was 31 years old the first time I said the "F" word out loud. I had just run away from a tennis ball in a car because I was too scared to teach a group of 18 year olds to avoid overeating in their first year of college. The irony brought me face to face with the hardest reality I'd ever had to endure which brought the word I'd been taught to avoid my entire life out of my lips for the first time. "Failure. I've completely failed. I'm a f*#!ing failure." (I've rarely been afraid of the OTHER F word after all). I was 440 pounds and sitting firmly at rock bottom emotionally, spiritually, personally, romantically and professionally. I was running from reality and that was the only form of running I'd done in the last 12 years since becoming an "adult". Here's the thing about failure and mistakes and missteps: All the progress happens on the other side of that. The philosopher Epictetus said that a man cannot learn that which he already knows. Conversely, learning can only be born of ignorance or an admission that we do not yet know everything. We are not ourselves yet. Who we are is somewhere in between who we think we are in that moment (a complete failure) and who we REALLY are (a ball of stardust and unlimited potential. We all have this moment at some point in our lives. It's a moment in which everything changes. Paul might have called his moment an epiphany. Others might call it a revelation or inspiration or a "come to Jesus" moment. The Parable of the Prodigal Son refers to it as a moment in which we "come to ourselves". For me, it was a night that ended at me staring at my pudgy face in the mirror, my eyes swollen with tears, my heart broken and my soul softened. It was time to change and that was day 1. I failed over and over on my journey, but each time, I remembered my resolve and my reason WHY. It was time to meet my potential. This time, I was not ready to give up. This time I wasn't ready to stop. I was ready to change. To Grow. To Shrink. And I did-- one pound at a time. Are you ready to use the F Word? Are you ready to start with one pound? Let today be your day, you little ball of stardust. It's time to BECOME YOURSELF. (at Impact Hub Santa Barbara)

For years, I prided myself on being a perfectionist. I used to have a mantra: "I strive for perfection because why should you aim for any less?" For years I abused myself mentally and physically every time I'd make an error. Even the smallest mistakes represent massive failure when the only thing you'll accept is perfect. I've learned that we will never find contentment, joy or satisfaction if the only thing good enough is perfection. Perfection should never be your goal in weight loss or anything else! We only fail when it is. Love yourself to create and sustain change. When we try the other way around-changing because we think that somehow we'll love ourselves in the end, we end up in one of two places: 1) giving up before our goal because we don't love ourselves enough during the journey to keep going or 2) relapsing after hitting our goal because we don't find love there immediately. You are good enough already and you have everything you need to be successful. Take joy in progress and love the journey. The results will come-even if they aren't perfect.

Welcome to my Best 9. I'm not going to lie: 2017 was the best year of my life and while I want nothing more than to bask in the glory of yesterday's accomplishments and to lean into the discomfort of tomorrow's opportunities, I need to remind myself that my best moment, the only moment I can impact is here and now. Thank you to all of my beautiful family, friends and followers who have been with me for the whole or part of this year. Next year we have big plans: finish the book, keep spreading positive vibes and helping to eradicate obesity in inspired, like minded individuals. And like weight loss, there's only one place I can make this happen: Now. Go out and make 2018 the best: one pound and one now at a time. 🎾🔥♥️, TinierTim (at Los Angeles, California)

January 1st is coming soon which means one thing: millions of people are about to Google the question I'm going to answer for you today: WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT? If you've been following me for any amount of time, you may or may not know that I u weight using a #Paleo diet but I do not strongly advocate Paleo. It's not because I don't believe that it's an amazing way to eat (I do) or that people can lose weight using it (they can). I learned something incredibly valuable in studying the habits of weight loss professionals: Low carb diets are incredible for weight loss. So are low fat programs. So are vegan low protein programs. And juice fasts. Also keto/mostly meat diets are great. Weight watchers works and so does shake based meal replacement and surgery and... Picking up on the pattern yet? Like skinning a cat, there's more than one way to shed the fat. But like choosing a pair of shoes in a store with thousands of selections, sometimes we can be paralyzed by indecision in the face of infinite decisions and so we make none. Sometimes we will pick a program and after it doesn't make us lose 100 pounds in the first week, we call the diet (and sometimes ourselves) broken or bad and give up. There's an old phrase they use in Alcoholics Anonymous about the program that "it works if you do" and this is just as true as it is in your weight loss program. In weight loss, in relationships, and in virtually every part of life, your ability to keep working in spite of setbacks and "lack of motivation" (I.e. life's greatest excuse) will dictate your success. Didn't lose weight this week? Keep going. Not at your goal weight? Keep going. Can't see changes in the mirror yet? Keep going. You've lived your whole life the way you are now. Why not see what happens if you stuck with it? Vegan, Keto or Paleo? Whatever you want. It all works... But only if you do.

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This is a story of boy meets tennis ball. It was November 2010 and my life was at rock bottom. My marriage was in its death throes, I was burnt out personally, professionally, spirtually and I didn't know if I would be alive the next year and frankly I didn't care. It was a tennis ball of all things, that I came face to face with and couldn't handle (see my TEDx talk at TinierTim.com/TED for more on this). This neon green symbol was something I was angry with at first, but eventually became a beacon of hope that told me the most important message an obese kid who is about to give up could hear: "YOU CAN DO THIS." And so I started with baby steps, finding a way to make small changes that yielded small results. I met with personal trainers and nutritional coaches who helped me devise a plan that I was able to stick to. Most importantly, they told me something and these plans showed me the one thing that I needed to hear over and over. "YOU CAN DO THIS." And so it goes. I managed to lose one pound and then another. Like Michelangelo said about the Statue of David, once I chipped away the excess, the physical TinierTim was inside the whole time. I dealt with the mental issues, seeking out the best counselors and overcoming a lifetime of learned helplessness until all that was left was the message that I share every single day when I tell my story: "YOU CAN DO THIS." The BS excuses you've been telling yourself are kindle for the fire of your passion and dreams. Use them. Don't have time? Focus on shorter, harder workouts. Don't have money to eat healthy? Learn to grocery shop on a budget and save money by cutting out dessert. Slow metabolism? Start exercising and watch that metabolism take care of itself. Once you dump all the weight and all the excuses, you'll prove me right and join your voice with the thousands of other successful Transformation Tuesday stories screaming all over the internet today: "YOU CAN DO THIS!"

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Do you love yourself? I don't mean this in a #feelinmaself instagram kind of way where you "love" yourself enough to post one of the 1000 selfies you took in a "good enough" kind of way. Do you love yourself the way you love your kids, your parents, your siblings and your best friends? Imagine that you had a best friend who was allowing a romantic partner to abuse them mentally and physically to the point where they were chronically depressed and struggling to find peace in a troubled world? Would you step in and help? Of course you would. Yet for many of us, we are in an abusive relationship like this with ourselves. Not only do we not love ourselves as much or as well as we love others, but we are harming ourselves daily with negative self talk, a low image of ourselves and practices that are not designed to be good for us. What you are willing to accept for your life is inevitably what you will receive. So you don't like where you're at? Quit settling for that place. Start with a declaration (to your self, your partner, your loved ones and friends) that you deserve better followed by a burning desire to change your circumstances and with the faith that you can change. Stop settling. Raise your standards. Then let the desire burn inside you until it burns your old world down. What will be left? A fresh start, love in your heart and a lifetime of possibilities. You've got this!

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I have a confession: I hate losing (except fat 😜). I was raised by a strict, German perfectionist who worked more than anyone I've ever known. He was the kind of father (and my first boss) who tolerated nothing short maximum efforts and maximum results. Failure was not only unacceptable, it was shameful. In Weight Loss counseling, I learned that one of my earlier memories of him involved his reaction to a mistake I'd made: he closed my bedroom window before punishing me to muffle screaming so "the neighbors won't know what a terrible child I have." This type of messaging runs deep in many of us who struggle with obesity. We get laughed at when we start our weight loss journeys so we're afraid to try and call attention to ourselves. We know the road is impossible so we give up the second we misstep. We are prone to self sabotage after a lifetime of abuse (much of which is self inflicted). The thing I want to tell you is that there is help out there. Sure, there are trainers and meal plan experts, but if information was all we needed, we'd all have six packs and 🍑 bottoms. I don't know about you, but I needed to retrain my mind. I worked with counselors, coaches and mentors to pull myself out of the habit loops that kept me obese. I took one step and lost one pound at a time. I learned to forgive myself. I'm still learning how to love myself every day. That's why we call this crazy thing a journey. It's worth it. You're worth it. You can't fail unless you give up. I believe in the power of the human spirit. I believe in you.