#tiniertim

This weekend I found myself back in front of a TEDx audience but this time as a host instead of a speaker. I had the opportunity to share my story and met two incredible gentlemen who were also victorious in their own battles against obesity. Another person shared with me how she used my talk last year to help inspire her sister to lose weight. I saw people leave with tennis balls to remind them that any journey can be completed one step at a time. Oftentimes the first step is forgiving yourself and believing that no one thing, decision or mistake defines you. Maybe you haven't lived with intention or mindfulness. Maybe you've "let yourself go". Those small missteps do not change what You are. A blank tennis ball reminded me: You are a miracle of unlimited potential. You are capable of greatness even if you don't believe it. Start with one meal. With one workout. By losing one pound. That's all I did: I didn't lose 225 pounds. I lost one pound 225 Times.

Which pain will you pick? Overcoming obesity requires as great a commitment as it took apathy for me to become obese but in the opposite direction. I was in constant pain. I had heartburn that I thought was cardiac arrest but never went to the doctor to find out (ignorance is bliss). My knees cracked like a bag of popcorn underneath me. My back ached and my soul felt defeated. Losing weight hurt too. My muscles were sore all the time, the first 30 days adjusting to eating like a “normal” person felt like I was starving because I didn’t understand nutrition yet. My first workouts were embarrassing and because I was ashamed, I didn’t tell anyone so I hardly had any support. You don’t wake up successful in anything worth happening. You wake up and FIND success. You set your alarm for 4:30 and and get to the gym. You food prep on Sunday. You plan your work and you work your plan. You feel the soreness for the first 30 days. And after a while, you finally feel like you’re truly alive. You trade the pains of regret and neglect for the pains of discipline. Discipline becomes strength. Strength becomes mastery and mastery brings true and lasting joy. And my dear friends, joy tastes a hell of a lot better than Doritos. You get to pick between the pain of discipline and the pain of regret. Tylenol only works on one of them. The pain you choose will decide the picture you see.

Do you love yourself? I don't mean this in a #feelinmaself instagram kind of way where you "love" yourself enough to post one of the 1000 selfies you took in a "good enough" kind of way. Do you love yourself the way you love your kids, your parents, your siblings and your best friends? Imagine that you had a best friend who was allowing a romantic partner to abuse them mentally and physically to the point where they were chronically depressed and struggling to find peace in a troubled world? Would you step in and help? Of course you would. Yet for many of us, we are in an abusive relationship like this with ourselves. Not only do we not love ourselves as much or as well as we love others, but we are harming ourselves daily with negative self talk, a low image of ourselves and practices that are not designed to be good for us. What you are willing to accept for your life is inevitably what you will receive. So you don't like where you're at? Quit settling for that place. Start with a declaration (to your self, your partner, your loved ones and friends) that you deserve better followed by a burning desire to change your circumstances and with the faith that you can change. Stop settling. Raise your standards. Then let the desire burn inside you until it burns your old world down. What will be left? A fresh start, love in your heart and a lifetime of possibilities. You've got this!

This is a story of boy meets tennis ball. It was November 2010 and my life was at rock bottom. My marriage was in its death throes, I was burnt out personally, professionally, spirtually and I didn't know if I would be alive the next year and frankly I didn't care. It was a tennis ball of all things, that I came face to face with and couldn't handle (see my TEDx talk at TinierTim.com/TED for more on this). This neon green symbol was something I was angry with at first, but eventually became a beacon of hope that told me the most important message an obese kid who is about to give up could hear: "YOU CAN DO THIS." And so I started with baby steps, finding a way to make small changes that yielded small results. I met with personal trainers and nutritional coaches who helped me devise a plan that I was able to stick to. Most importantly, they told me something and these plans showed me the one thing that I needed to hear over and over. "YOU CAN DO THIS." And so it goes. I managed to lose one pound and then another. Like Michelangelo said about the Statue of David, once I chipped away the excess, the physical TinierTim was inside the whole time. I dealt with the mental issues, seeking out the best counselors and overcoming a lifetime of learned helplessness until all that was left was the message that I share every single day when I tell my story: "YOU CAN DO THIS." The BS excuses you've been telling yourself are kindle for the fire of your passion and dreams. Use them. Don't have time? Focus on shorter, harder workouts. Don't have money to eat healthy? Learn to grocery shop on a budget and save money by cutting out dessert. Slow metabolism? Start exercising and watch that metabolism take care of itself. Once you dump all the weight and all the excuses, you'll prove me right and join your voice with the thousands of other successful Transformation Tuesday stories screaming all over the internet today: "YOU CAN DO THIS!"

For years, I prided myself on being a perfectionist. I used to have a mantra: "I strive for perfection because why should you aim for any less?" For years I abused myself mentally and physically every time I'd make an error. Even the smallest mistakes represent massive failure when the only thing you'll accept is perfect. I've learned that we will never find contentment, joy or satisfaction if the only thing good enough is perfection. Perfection should never be your goal in weight loss or anything else! We only fail when it is. Love yourself to create and sustain change. When we try the other way around-changing because we think that somehow we'll love ourselves in the end, we end up in one of two places: 1) giving up before our goal because we don't love ourselves enough during the journey to keep going or 2) relapsing after hitting our goal because we don't find love there immediately. You are good enough already and you have everything you need to be successful. Take joy in progress and love the journey. The results will come-even if they aren't perfect.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: are your daily activities bringing you closer to your goals? "I don't have time" is an excuse that is as old and timeless as time itself. We are all given the same 24 hours each day with which to work. If we're being honest with ourselves, we have time for whatever we want to. I try never to say, "I don't have time to..."; Instead I try and say, "I don't make time for...". The reality is that I HAVE the time to catch up on the last three hundred seasons of a tv show but I don't make time for it. Life is a series of decisions between priorities. In order to become our truest selves, it's important to take time to assess our values, priorities, hopes, dreams and goals and then use this understanding like a GPS to guide you to your destination: your greatest self. Want to find your results? Start by losing your excuses.