Tinder Missions

I should not have agreed to this date at all! Ok so this guy was in his early thirties, German, working for a hedge fund and we matched on tinder. He was good looking but not super tall but seemed nice at first. However, after a while the conversations were a bit odd and I kept declining the date requests. For example, before we even met he told me that I have a great aura, whatever that even means. I could kind of understand that comment after meeting someone but this was a total stranger. Also comments on how we would get along so well.. You have no idea how we will get along until we meet! So he maybe came across a little desperate which is always an unattractive quality. Despite all this I agreed to meet up with him one afternoon and just regretted it already while waiting for him. He was very nice and polite but we just had nothing in common at all and the conversation was painfully awkward the whole time. I felt like he was trying too hard to impress me, talking about all the great things he's done and was going to do and how much he enjoyed drinking champagne by the lake. That must have come up at least 10 times, I guess it was his favourite thing to do on dates (we didn't drink any champagne by the lake, only Starbucks). He wanted to go for dinner with me some other day to which I vaguely said yes. I don't know why, I should've left the date after an hour but because I felt bad for him i stuck around for way longer than that. So this turned out to be one of those dates that were really a waste of time and I should've known it already before going on the date. At least I can say I've met all kinds of people and had some interesting and some very boring conversations. And I don't seem to be getting any better at picking out the interesting people.

So eventually things just fizzled out and we stopped talking, I don’t think it was something either of us was really looking for even though I had a great time with him. But we got in touch again a few months ago and now hang out as friends and it’s pretty cool, he’s my new bff now and we discuss our dating issues with each other. So sometimes good things can come out of these dating apps, even if it’s not a relationship.

I think he tried to stay in touch afterwards but I was very hesitant, I think I was still too upset from the breakup and didn’t want to get into another long distance relationship. From all the guys that I’ve dated he’s probably the one that has wanted to date me the most, I probably should’ve given him a better chance. Now I don’t even know what country he is in. Update: he lives in Iceland. Fock

Haha my face after the date number 15

We met at Liverpool Street station and walked over to Aldgate to a cafe and I thought we were getting along really well and had a lot to talk about. We managed to spend several hours in that cafe until I wanted to go home. So the first date went well and I was hoping to see this guy again. We continued chatting on whatsapp but to my frustration and annoyance he would sometimes take several days to reply. In the end we agreed to go for drinks on a Friday after work. He didn’t seem too keen but we met up anyway. Just like the first date, this second time also went well and he was being very cute and sweet and we kissed while walking back from the bar. However, after this date we still met up a few times but I got the feeling that he was not very interested, despite of him alway telling me that I was the only girl he was taking to blah blah blah (as if!). At this point we were already friends in Facebook and I was really put off by some of his friends comments there. One friend was telling him that they should plan his Europe sexcapade for the summer, and then him commenting on another girl’s friendship notification that she was such a catch. I didn’t feel the need to contact him again after I saw those, I highly doubt that we were looking for the same thing. I recently saw him on tinder in another country, I guess he was here for a work trip which reminded me to write about him. Good riddance.

I would really much rather forget about this one and he really put me off from dating more English men. They must be at least half of something else. This was my first Happn date, he had cute pictures and was maybe in his early thirties, working for an asset management company close to my office if I remember correctly. Continuing with the theme of destroying my liver, we went for drinks at the hotel bar right next to my office. This was the same location as with the French broker. It didn't start off great, I barely recognised him since he looked so different to his pictures, much older and clearly the camera loved him somehow. I didn't know how to escape so I continued drinking with him for ages and with the drinks the stories also got stranger and stranger. He told me how he had to live with another person because he couldn't afford to pay his mortgage in his own, story of a girl from tinder that he had taken home recently, etc etc.. I know London is expensive but not sure I want to know everything about someone's financial situation on a first date and I certainly do not want to know about all the tinder girls they've taken home. There were plenty of these stories but my brain has tried to block them from my memory. After a while he kept moving his chair closer to mine as I tried to lean further away from him. At this point I should've just thanked for the evening and ran away but I didn't. Ten he grabbed my hand and wanted to hold it while he told me how great and beautiful I was. That brought me back to my senses and I finally told him I had to go home. He then walked me to the taxi and tried to get in the cab with me suggesting that we should go to either his place or mine. To that my response was just no thanks, gotta go and closed the door. He got in contact the next day or a few days later and wanted to meet me again but since I am terrible at telling guys I am not interested I just never replied to him again. The end.

February 2015, we just broke it off with the on and off guy from work and I was having Sunday blues just sitting at home. Boom, cute Norwegian guy pops up on tinder only a few kilometres away from me. And it's a match! Pretty soon he starts writing me and turns out he's only been in London for a few months and is staying with family friends close by until he finds his own place. We decide to go for a drink at a local pub. Off I go, I don't have high expectations of the date but I am happy to go and meet someone and be distracted from my misery for a while. He shows up at he pub and at first it is painfully awkward as he is really shy. Seems to be a Norwegian things since my friend experienced the same thing but to a much worse extent later with another Norwegian. After a while and bottle of white wine later the conversation is much better. He is actually a very sweet guy and we are both into sports and like similar things. Since London almost turned me into an alcoholic, we had three, 3!!!!, bottles of wine between us. At least it's over a period of maybe 5 or 6 hours but we did not eat anything so we were rather wasted by the end of this. As one might expect, we kissed and got pizza after the pub closed and kicked us out. He was liked me home which was really sweet. And as most of these dates seem to go, I never saw the guy again. We did text and were planning on meeting up but I was going on a work trip for 2 weeks and the timing just never worked. On Monday I woke up with a terrible hangover and leftover pizza all over my living room. Sometimes I wonder if I actually learned something from these dates, at least what kind of guys I like or don't like but mostly it just seems to be a big hit and miss. And after all these dates my luck hasn't gotten any better, either everyone sucks or I am just too picky.

We met in a club! Wohoo it was like meeting a real person for the first time. I have no idea how he got managed to even get a coherent sentence out of me, it was a proper girls’ night out and multiple bottles of wine and vodka and continued with double gin tonics at the club. My friends would not even stand on their feet anymore and kept falling over each other, somehow I managed to keep it together but I have to say half of the night is kinda difficult to remember. So back to this super good looking, ridiculously tall Dutch guy that was out with his brother. He started talking to me at the bar and as far as I remember he also said something insulting to me and I actually walked away and told my friends he was an idiot, somehow just to find myself intensely making out with this person for the whole night. That is probably all I got know abut him that night, plus tat he was an amazing singer as him and his brother did a little duet of Stand by me outside of the club when we were all leaving, I think I fell in love. After all this smooching I decided it would have been a bad idea to go home with him so instead of that I went to an after party with my friends and woke up worst hangover ever (I have since topped that hangover with an even worse one), so thank you to baby Jesus that I had some common sense in me in the middle of the night. Otherwise I would have ended up spending hours vomiting in a stranger’s bathroom (also has happened since then, I have no shame anymore). Lucky me, this this boy actually wrote me the next day which was a good sign. We went on a date a couple of weeks later which again was almost impossible to organise, we met just before 10pm on a Wednesday! At least he was still as good looking as I remembered and showed up to the date wearing a suit, who wouldn't love that? But meeting so late in the evening was such a bad idea, I had to work the following day. And like I always do, we went for drinks and actually ended up drinking a fairly good amount so that the end of it I though t was a great idea to take him home with me. I suffered in the morning but made it to work on time and actually left this stranger sleeping in my bed. I hope my mom never finds out about this blog, I think she would die. So all this happened in December last year, we did go on a few dates after the New Year but after a while I felt like he wasn’t really into it. So things pretty much died down for quite some time and maybe around March we met up again. At that point I think we both knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere but at least we had a good time together and we used to watch movies and chill out and have adult sleepovers. Until the summer came and decided to stick to only one guy so I had to tell the Dutchie that I was seeing someone. We still stayed in touch and met for coffee a few times until I moved away.  Overall this was one of the nicest guys I have dated, it was a shame it didn’t develop into anything else but he had his crazy banker schedule and was always busy.

It has been a very long time since my last post. In the meanwhile I have still been going on more tinder dates, moved to a different country and I am still single. So at least some things haven’t changed. This was the first Dutch banker I went on a date with (there will be another one later on), we matched on tinder of course, this was about a year ago I think, probably at some point in November. Decided to meet on a Friday I think, but the problem with these investment bankers is that they work such crazy hours that it is almost impossible to organise a date at a normal time. As far as I remember we met after 9pm in the evening by Liverpool street station, we didn’t really have a plan on where to go but he suggested Sushi Samba so we decided to check it out. We managed to get a table and ordered some sushi and he decided to get a bottle of champagne. Definitely one of the more lavish first dates that I have had, couldn’t complain about the circumstances. Unfortunately I can’t even remember this guy’s name, I had a very nice time with him but I have to say I did feel slightly awkward and uncomfortable as the date progressed. Maybe it was the Finnish up bringing in me that I don’t like being complimented too much as after a while it just doesn’t feel genuine anymore. After the dinner we walked around a bit and tried to find a place to go for a drink but everything was already closed around Liverpool street. He also invited me to come round to his place but I did decline that offer, it would have been weird. However, we did kiss when he took me to the bus stop. He also offered to get me a cab which was nice but after dealing with all the awkwardness I just wanted to get away as soon as possible. Pretty sure he wanted to see me again but I probably never replied to his messages after the date. Which is really bad, I think I should start letting these poor guys know right after the date if it will never happen again and it won’t be a thing. Maybe I will learn, eventually. After this date I pretty much gave up on tinder for quite some time, I felt that I was not meeting anyone interesting enough or someone that I would even like to see again. So I decided t was better to take a break. On top of that there was another guy messing with my head this whole time, I liked him but I guess he didn’t like me enough or whatever, that fucks up your head pretty bad. Sucks to be a girl sometimes and have emotions and then getting attached to the douche bags that are so wrong for you in so many levels. Not much I could do about that except to try to move on. But that situation is long enough for multiple posts.

This date was probably the biggest WTF moment of my life. True to the name of this blog, we also met on Tinder one Sunday night a few weeks ago. It definitely did not start of well by him calling me by someone else's name, that message was clearly not meant for me. Anyway, we got over it and actually he seemed really cute and funny with hot body on top of it (he sent me a cheeky half naked picture of himself in a hospital bed). I don't know how I seem to find guys that work really close to me, but this one was anther one of them being only 10 minutes walk away near Old Street. We decided to go for a drink on Tuesday evening after work in a nearby pub.  For once my date was actually hotter live than in photos, that never happens! Almost seems too good to be true. We got a glass of white wine managed to find some seats in a corner. It never fails to amaze me how busy the bars and pubs can be on a Tuesday night in this city.  We started off with some casual small talk and everything seemed to be fine, but after about 10 or 15 minutes I felt like I was really carrying on the conversation, trying to ask questions about him to get him to talk. But he just started to seem super uncomfortable and awkward, at that point I was just thinking about what was wrong with me and that he must have been really disappointed to see me. So we carried on the painfully awkward conversation for about another 20 minutes, including some very awkward silences. And then he dropped the bomb: "I'm really sorry, but I broke up with my girl friend 5 weeks ago, and this is really weird for me so I think I'm going to have to go". "Sorry to waste your time, you are the first girl I have seen from Tinder and I just feel really uncomfortable". So at least we found out why the date was getting so weird and didn't drag on more than 40 minutes. Or maybe it was just his excuse to get out of it because I wasn't what he was looking for.  Oh well, can't always succeed. So we just said bye and left, he apologised lots of time for wasting my time. I could have actually gone to the gym instead of the date, that would have been better use of my time. I think this was a traumatising experience, my next date wasn't until a week and half later but luckily that turned out to be much better.

Ok this was definitely the worst match so far. This was already a bit weird even before I agreed to a date but for whatever reason I decided to ignore obsessive football talk and weird topics. And the rose emoticons. Bad signs, but hopefully I will recognise them next time. He seemed to have a plan for the date so I just agreed to meet him at Marble Arch on a Sunday afternoon a few weeks ago. First thing I noticed was a Movember moustache. I think it is great that guys raise money, but it is definitely not a look that you want to have when you go on first a date.  No cheek kiss, just an awkward hello. Maybe I am just being picky. but so far all the match dates have said hello with two kisses. Manners! "Do you want to grab something to eat from Pret?" In my head I was just going "no, are you crazy? I eat at Pret every day when I am at work?!?!" but instead I just agreed and hoped that I could end the date as soon as possible. At least we didn't go for a sit-down meal, that would have been jut too awkward to handle. So we grabbed the sandwiches and headed to Hyde Park and stopped to eat by the Serpentine when we found some tables. Ok, that wasn't too bad but I had absolutely nothing in common with this blond-moustache-northerner-turned-accountant. So everything was just small talk and I really struggled to say anything interesting. He had planned to take me to a photo exhibition at the Natural History Museum, which actually didn't sound too bad, but he hadn't though of the tickets. The place was packed and no space at the exhibition. So we just walked around the museum for some time. Half of the time he was way behind me or somewhere far ahead that I had to go and find him again. Maybe I should've just left and ended the date there, but that would have been rude. After an acceptable period of time I told him that I had to get going. Unfortunately he was going to the same direction so we got on the tube together for a few stops before he got off.  The date ended with an uncomfortable wave and a comment about going for a drink next time. We both knew that next time would never happen.

A second date! That's a first, something must be going right. We got back in touch after not speaking at all for a couple of weeks and pretty soon agreed to meet up for a date number 2. He told me that he would take me to an exhibition that was supposed to be good according to his friend. This sounded like fun, and so grown up! It was nice to do something else than just go for drinks. But we did just that as well, the date was on Thursday and we met at a bar near the old Spitalfields Market for a drink. I had actually gone to work early so that I could go to the gym before the date but I jut ended up being late. But only by 10 minutes and I did let him know that I was running late.  There he told me that it was actually a Lego exhibition that he was taking me to. SO we headed to Brick Lane and he had gotten the tickets in advance which was nice. The exhibition was pretty cool, we made fun of the massive Lego statues, talked about the meaning behind the Lego faces and decided that the artists had too much time in his hands and probably some childhood issues. Afterwards we ended up getting another drink and then decided that we were actually pretty hungry. So we ended up walking around for ages trying to find a restaurant, until he suggested an Argentinian stake restaurant a little walk away. So we went there and had some amazing food and were the last customers to leave the restaurant. Even though I wasn't 100% comfortable around him, probably because he was so posh and proper, he got me talking a lot (maybe thanks to the wine). Or he was just good at asking the questions that make introverts open up.  Everything was perfectly fine with this match but somehow I never replied to his last text and have not heard from him since then. I guess something was missing, so I am not too bothered.

There is no number for this one because it never got to the stage of actually planning a date with this guy. This a story of how to ruin all possibilities of a date with your Tinder match. And I am happy to say it was not me screwing up this time*. He wasn't traditionally good looking or even very cute, it was the type of guy that maybe I thought was somehow attractive but my friends would not get it at all. Hence they never saw a picture of him but they did get regular updates of the situation. We matched and he started the conversation with something funny and unexpected, that's probably why I continued talking to him in the first place. In the beginning all the messages were a lot of fun and we were joking about how it was the perfect match. Pretty soon we took it up a level and moved the conversation to the magical app connecting people these days, Whatsapp.  The messages continued for maybe about two weeks or so, we didn't discuss meeting up as he was travelling. Once he was back, I got to a super busy period at work so Tinder and talking to all of my matches was not a top priority after 12 hour working days. So at this point I never responded to his last message, and my plan was to get back to him in a couple of days**.  Well he could not wait for that long but instead started texting me every single day. "Hi" "Hey" "How are you?" "Hi" "Where did you go?" "Hi" So after this had been going on for a week I decided never to reply and just hoped that it he would stop eventually. But noooo, he just continued. "you are rude" "Hi" At this point I had had enough, it was creeping me out getting these messages every single day for over two weeks or so, I did not even know this person. For all I know he could have been a murder-rapist-stalker. And for me that is just way too obsessive and too much enthusiasm. I want my time and space. I had no choice but to block his number, unmatch him on tinder and block him from sending me whatsapp messages. I hope he will never find this blog. I'm sure there could have been a better way to handle the situation, such as politely asking him to stop. But then again I don't expect an explanation from a match that stops replying to my messages. Play it cool. This was just earlier this week, hopefully I will not encounter too many of his type in the future. *Most of the time I am a unicorn but even I have my limits ** That last message was about swapping pictures, not appealing. You have already seen my Tinder pictures and you could ask for instagram or facebook but I am not going to send you selfies.

This was a very random one and I don't even know if it should be called a date or more something like dinner with friends. He was a guy from work who recently moved to London and we had met a few times in various offices. After I had cancelled lunch plans with him multiple times, he finally asked me to go for dinner/drinks with him one evening so I couldn't bail so easily. Again it was a Tuesday night. Very sensible.  The weird thing is that I am not sure if this was an actual date or just a dinner with a friend.  So we met up after work and took a taxi to the restaurant, or more like to the street where the restaurant was supposed to be. It took us a good 10 minutes just walking back and forth the streets before we actually found the restaurant in which he had booked a table. It was a very nice steak restaurant, I did not know what to expect but I was positively surprised. We had full three-course meal, and shared all of the food and flushed it all down with red wine. Not bad for a non-date. I guess all the wine I have during my dates makes them all seem pretty ok, my non- tinder non-date was also easy to talk to and we had a lot to talk about. It probable helped that he wasn't a complete stranger like the usual Tinder matches. Nothing very exciting happened, he made sure I got on the right bus home. The bus ride was probably the most exciting thing of that evening, The first bus I got on got stuck in traffic so I had to get off and walked a bit to find another bus, then I ended up getting off at the completely wrong stop and it maybe took 30 minutes longer to get home than usual. I also wanted to offer to pay for half of the bill but he managed to pay for all of it while I was in the bathroom. That made me feel kinda bad. I should have offered at least! So far there hasn't been any talk about a second date (??) but we have just chatted a bit. I am not too bothered though, I already have enough trouble with a colleague as it is.