rec!s are indicated with consideration as author’s favourites/reader’s favourites
*no indication of chapter no. = drabble/oneshot
T H E B O Y Z (i have too many for tbz)
A T E E Z
» group
ATEEZ as Things and Feelings [Headcanon/☁️]
» seonghwa
When Loneliness Comes Back (💔 *TW Self-harm, suicide)
a late night with seonghwa on one of your not-so-great days
Strangers In The Night (Prince! Seonghwa ☁️) rec!
one last night of freedom for a princess getting ready for an arranged marriage
Playboy (CEO! Seonghwa 🔞☁️) rec!
being best friends with your boss has its perks
» san
Baby, You Are (💔 *TW depression, rape)
an untimely confession from your best friend
Desire (Chaebol! San 🔞)
an enigmatic chaebol tries his hand with you, and wins
Unmask, Fly Away With Me, Say Something (3 Chapters, 💔🔞*TW depression, suicide, self harm)
a painful night ends with a romantic rescue
Red Lipstick (Raider! San slight 🔞)
a raider breaks into your facility
» mingi
Youngblood (Ex! Mingi 💔)
confronting your ex-boyfriend after he gets into a fight because of you
Traitor (prince! Mingi 💔)
once a lover, now a traitor
» yunho
Scent (Ex! Yunho 💔☁️)
meeting your first love for the first time in five years after choosing your career
» yeosang
She Will Be Loved (Boyfriend! Yeosang 🔞☁️)
a romantic night turned a bloody mess
T X T
Runaway (Chaebol! Yeonjun ☁️)
he was destined to marry rich, so he ran away with his first love instead
goodnight (boyfriend! Yeonjun ☁️) rec!
getting ready for bed with your boyfriend
Purple Skies and Butterflies (bf! Taehyun 💔)
living in your memories of him
N C T
OT23 One Shots *HIATUS (Taeil // Johnny // Taeyong // Yuta // Kun // Doyoung //)
Ride Or Die (Boyfriend! Sungchan ☁️)
one night of mindless freedom
somebody else (best friend! Mark 💔) rec!
watching your best friend fall in love with someone else
Fly Away With Me (Best friend! Jaehyun ☁️)
a momentary escape with your best friend after a bad break up
E X O
Never Be Like You (Best friend! Jongin 💔🔞)
to live your final moments with the one you love most
D A Y 6
DAY6 MV Continuation: Part IV: I Wish, Part V: Confession (TO BE RELEASED) (DAY6 Members/2 Chapter Continuation Series) *HIATUS
Christmas & Me (Tutor! Youngk ☁️)
tutor turned crush
S T R A Y K I D S
The Kingdom: The Stray Syndicates (3-piece Mafia! au with TBZ, ATZ and SKZ) rec!
Grounded (Idol! Lee Know/11 Chapters, F2L, ☁️💔)
the trials of falling in love with your best friend who became an idol
Flames of Wealth (Raider! Lee Know 💥)
raiding an illegal yacht
E N H Y P E N
» group
Not For Sale (Uni au! Heeseung + Jay/15 Chapters, Slice of Life) rec!
getting caught in a love triangle on your exchange semester
ENHYPEN in Bad Boy! Aesthetics (All members/oc reaction ☁️)
The Sinister Seven (All members/vampire! au profile ✨) rec!
polaroid love (All members/boyfriend! au headcanon)
» heeseung
SONDER (💔☁️)
after being kicked out of her home, Woo Ki Yeom is forced to live life on her own. struggling to find herself in the midst of her chaotic life, she meets lee heeseung, who, like her, can't give any more fucks to life than she does.
timestamp: 9.44pm (💔)
getting over a break up
predictable predicament (🔞☁️)
so you're best friends with the campus hottie who happens to be the quietest one in his group of friends. he's different with you though.
Kiss & Make Up (🔞💔)
Following your parent's bankruptcy, you chose to focus on supporting your family, making it difficult for you to maintain a relationship. Fastforward a few years later, your little brother plays a hand in getting you back in contact with your ex-boyfriend, Lee Heeseung.
» jay
Astronomy (💔☁️)
meeting your first love again after the pandemic in a live concert
Kiss & Make Up (🔞💔)
After swearing off long-distance relationships, you convinced yourself that one-night-stands hurt a little less. But one night at a party brings you back to square one.
timestamp: 12.45am (☁️)
getting ready for bed with your boyfriend
timestamp: 3.57pm (☁️)
the school’s prince sends you home on a rainy day
timestamp: 9.59pm (☁️)
a prom date stealing a kiss (or two)
right person, wrong time (💔☁️)
you begin your first day of work with your boyfriend sending you there but amidst all your first-day jitters, you find out that the new CEO-in-training was your best friend who moved away a decade ago.
» jake
Atlantean (best friend! Jake ☁️✨💔) rec!
finding out your crush is a descendant of a mythical species of beings
Dancing With Your Ghost (wizard! Jake 💔☁️✨) rec!
the truth behind your boyfriend in hogwarts
Fairy Tale (chaebol! Jake 💔☁️)
the real reason why the prince kissed you and refused to tell anybody else
timestamp: 4.13pm (☁️)
the school prince asking you to prom, but failing
timestamp: 2.45am (💔☁️) ft sunghoon
getting your heart broken by one and saved by the other
timestamp: 12.37am (☁️)
going home after a bad day
Kiss and Make Up (🔞💔)
After a misunderstanding tears the two of you up, Jake was as good as dead to you. That is, until you meet him again in college where you were ready to write a new chapter of your life.
right person, wrong time (💔☁️)
you begin your first day of work with your boyfriend sending you there but amidst all your first-day jitters, you find out that the new CEO-in-training was your best friend who moved away a decade ago.
EMPATH (ex! jake x best friend! sunghoon 💔☁️)
A strict household. A single, closed-off workaholic for a grandparent and guardian. You had curated the perfect habit of keeping to yourself, cementing an unbreakable wall between you and the rest of the world. However, you’ve been bestowed with a gift - the gift to feel other people’s emotions.
» sunghoon
I Hate You (ex! Sunghoon ☁️💔) rec!
the truth behind your boyfriend leaving you
timestamp: 2.45am (💔☁️) ft jake
getting your heart broken by one and saved by the other
timestamp: 2.23am (☁️)
7 minutes of heaven with your enemy
The Lion and The Lamb (vampire! au, bf! sunghoon 💔☁️🔞)
what would you do if you found out your boyfriend is a mythical creature?
Kiss & Make Up (🔞💔)
it’s been a couple of months since you broke up with your high school sweetheart. the reason? he wanted a family and you wanted freedom. but come the day you meet him again and park sunghoon apparently hasn’t moved on.
EMPATH (ex! jake x best friend! sunghoon 💔☁️)
A strict household. A single, closed-off workaholic for a grandparent and guardian. You had curated the perfect habit of keeping to yourself, cementing an unbreakable wall between you and the rest of the world. However, you’ve been bestowed with a gift - the gift to feel other people’s emotions.
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sunwoo knows better than to think about eunjung in a particular light. but he can’t help himself - her hair smells like pomegranate and the scent of her skin has laid a nest in his head like a parasite burrowing a home. he groans into his pillow, freely, since his roommate left the room for god-knows-what.
he hasn’t been sleeping well, and he blames her for it. he’s been dreaming about her, thinking about the things she said. he never really gave a damn about what other people thought about him - that’s what everybody says, right? don’t let other people change who you are.
unfortunately, eunjung isn’t ‘other people’, and sunwoo cannot quantify the frustration that’s building in his chest that he’s admitted it to himself.
who gave her the authority to have such a hold over him? if she was softer, gentler, less of an asshole, sunwoo wouldn’t mind.
why would he?
but eunjung is not any of those. she is unafraid to knee him in the balls and openly simps for another man before him. this was a game he chose to start, and yet he’s losing.
“fuck-”
bzzzzzzt. bzzzzzzt.
sunwoo jumps a little in his bed, looking up to see his phone screen lit up. he reaches over and squints at the screen.
LEE EUNJUNG
he sits up abruptly, heart pounding and all the blood rushing up to his head from the sudden adrenaline. his stomach begins to flutter, which he frowns at, because it’s not a usual reaction he gets. usually girls are the ones who stutter and stammer in his presence, not the other way round, and especially when she’s the one who pissed him off?
sunwoo clears his throat and takes a deep breath, making an ‘o’ with his lips as he exhales with his palm on his chest. he picks up the call.
“what?”
“hey. look... i just wanted to apologise for whatever i said the other day.”
“what other day?”
a pause.
“tuesday. i’m sorry i said all those things.”
sunwoo leans back against the wall and crosses his free arm under his armpit. “and what horrid things did you say? or do... actually?” he can almost see her roll her eyes.
which she does - eunjung has her lips pursed and her patience on the tip of her tongue, ready to come out in a string of vulgarities.
no, she’s better than that.
“i’m sorry for saying that you’re attention seeking and i’m sorry for kneeing you in the balls,” she pauses. “i just... don’t like it that you’re getting in the way. i... my feelings for eric are my problem and you being in the equation because of that night just messed everything up. it might’ve been my fault for not being able to draw the line, and i apologise, but i don’t wish to have you involved in my love life.”
she stops, only now realising she’s said too much.
sunwoo, on the other end of the phone, is speechless. for the first time in weeks, he doesn’t know what to say to her.
eunjung notices the silence. she frowns to herself, pulling her phone away to make sure the call was still running.
“hello?”
“forget about the night we slept together. that was... on me too. and about eric, you’re right, that is your problem, and rest assured i won’t interfere. but i do need to admit that... i like you... and that’s my problem. so until you confess to eric and until he reciprocates... i will do my best to win you over.”
“...what?” she blurts. “i didn’t call you to encourage you.”
“i know. it was an apology, a good one, and thank you for telling me how you feel. clears up both our consciences.”
“i don’t know if that’s a word.”
“you know what i mean.”
“kim sunwoo-”
“anyway, gotta go. i have things to do. ta.”
sunwoo quickly hangs up. his palm flies to his chest. his heart is about to hop out through his ribcage.
eunjung huffs, pulling the phone away from her ear and frowning at the screen with the words ‘call ended’ on it. she pouts to herself, sighing as she bites her lips and tosses her phone on the bed.
eunjung stares at the ceiling.
win her over?
she rolls onto her side and shoves her face into her pillow, letting out a muffled scream that does absolutely nothing to relieve the balloon of frustration expanding in her chest.
he likes her.
that’s not new information, she tells herself. he’s flirted. he’s hovered. he’s inserted himself into conversations that had nothing to do with him.
why did he even care? why did he treat her like she was a puzzle he needed to solve out of spite?
but hearing him say it so plainly, so matter-of-factly-
i like you.
no teasing lilt. no smirk she could physically wipe off his face. just brutal honesty.
she groans and grabs her phone again, rolling up eric’s contact.
her stomach flips.
she hugs the phone on her chest.
sunwoo throws his phone onto his bed next to him like it personally offended him.
“what the hell was that?” he mutters to the empty room.
he runs both hands through his hair. he hadn’t meant to say that. he definitely hadn’t meant to end the call like that.
win her over? who the hell even says that?
he presses his palms to his face and groans. this was supposed to be a game. some stupid, ego-driven aftermath of a one-night fling. sunwoo wanted to play with her - nothing crazy. just wanted to see how she would respond to his flirtations and little quirks, then if they snogged or fucked another once or twice and nothing worked out, he would let it fade.
what he didn’t expect was this drive. this need. to win her over. he didn’t hate eric. why did it bother him that the girl he slept with didn’t like him? if it wasn’t eric, would he be responding like this?
sunwoo deeply hopes he would, but that would mean that the problem was not within eric - it was the fact that sunwoo had fallen into the problem that the grey area in a one-night stand births, and that’s actually falling for the person involved.
it was supposed to be funny. it was supposed to be a laughable one-night stand where he could bro-fist her or ignore her like some other regular person but somewhere between her knee slamming into his groin and her voice shaking just now on the phone, it stopped being funny.
he sits on the edge of his bed, staring at nothing.
“hey. hey!”
snapped out of his brainless zoning-out, sunwoo looks to the door. eric frowns, carefully closing the door behind him.
“damn, where did you go?”
sunwoo laughs it off. “to a world where i didn’t have to study to get good grades and a bright future.”
“fuck off,” eric hurls a shirt at him. “by the way, can i ask you something?”
“if it’s the answers to cultures and society, i don’t have them.”
eric scoffs, taking out his chair as sunwoo lies back down in his bed, arm under his neck.
“oh, please, i’d do that if i wanted to fail.”
“what did you want to ask? you’re scaring me. you never ask about asking something. you just... ask away.”
“okay, i’ll ask away,” eric clears his throat. he sits in the reversed chair, arms resting over the backrest. “what’s up with you and eunjung?”
sunwoo sharply turns his head to look at eric. there’s a heavy stare in his eyes that tells him that eric has seen it - the awkward and tensed air that hangs between him and eunjung.
the years of friendship with sunwoo have taught eric many things. that he was a scaredy cat who hated jumpscares, that he was a brilliant all-rounder when it came to doing the things he loved, and that he was a good friend despite his mischievous nature.
but it is also the years of friendship that told eric one thing - if sunwoo couldn’t conjure up a lie about it, then it meant something.
lia and yeji know instantly that something is wrong when they spot eunjung’s lifeless corpse gliding across the concourse. the dark eye circles, the hair that she didn’t bother to curl or tie up, not to mention the remnants on her neck that could now pass off as recovering mosquito bites.
“what happened?” lia crosses her arms. yeji flicks eunjung’s collar the right way.
eunjung takes a deep breath and sighs, looking around first like she were afraid to say what she wanted to say.
“what is it?” yeji frowns, taking a step back and scanning her face. “this is taking a toll on you. did you confess to him? did he reject you? did the other one confess to you? did you sleep with him again?”
“you got one of those right,” eunjung mutters, just loud enough for them to hear.
“no.”
“yeah. sunwoo... he-” eunjung groans, tilting her head so her face was against the ceiling. “i don’t know what to do.”
“well, not to be cliche as hell, but what does your heart tell you?” lia stands by eunjung, hooking one of her arms while yeji follows on the other side. they walk toward class.
“i don’t know, i don’t like being in such a sticky situation. i don’t like it that they are best friends and roomies! i can’t talk to one without worrying that the other one’s gonna spot me and think otherwise or interrupt and something goes awry.”
“does eric know?” lia questions in a hushed tone.
“i don’t... think he does but... he’s brought it up that he can see that something’s going on between us.”
“and how does that make you feel?”
“wow, way to be a therapist,” yeji snickers.
“inappropriate!” lia shushes disapprovingly. “so?”
“so? i don’t fuckin’ know. like i don’t want eric to know we fucked in that bed in that room, but on the other hand it’s killing me like a- a fucking chestburster! i wish he knew so i don’t have to hide the fact, but if he knew then how could he ever believe that he’s the one i like?”
“is he?”
eunjung gulps, knowing that the question isn’t accidental.
“you know this. you know this thing you’re in. your heart’s telling you one thing and your head’s telling you the other, isn’t it?”
“i don’t know about head-”
yeji laughs.
“stop it!” eunjung swats her on the arm.
“ow!” she chuckles again. “look, i don’t know much about this shit but when hyunjin comes home in a fucking bad mood, i just know it’s about a girl and you’re acting like him right now, and to be frank with you, i don’t think it’s about eric.”
“but you guys know i’ve been into him for awhile now, right? how can it go away so fast? just because of a one-night stand?”
“hey, a good fuck makes a difference.”
lia and eunjung turn and give her a deadpan look.
“i’d say ‘tell me i’m wrong’ but clearly, i’m not.”
“maybe you should tell eric.”
“are you crazy?”
“hear me out. confess to him, then see what he says. if he likes you back and if you fall into a million pieces and still ogle at him, that means you truly are into him. but if you feel like something’s off, then maybe he’s not the right one for you. and if he doesn’t like you back, then move on. i see it as a win-win.”
a win-win?
the words are muffled and mean nothing when the professor reads off his slides. eunjung doesn’t process much of it, if at all any. yeji and lia take turns nudging each other to check on eunjung, but it’s clear that her head and her heart were elsewhere.
bzzzt. bzzzt.
eunjung doesn’t usually check her phone during class, but since nothing was going into her head, she slides it out just enough to see who it’s from.
eric: hey, up for noodles later? sunwoo couldn’t make it.
the eatery was slightly emptied by the time class ended. she looked into the seating area through the large glass panels, spotting eric at a four-seater scrolling on his phone.
eunjung sucks in a deep breath and exhales through an ‘o’ shape of her lips, casually turning into the eatery and greeting the staff that was stationed by the order-yourself kiosk.
“hello,” she quietly greets, smiling at him as she sets her bag down.
“hey! just came from class?”
“yeah,” eunjung tucks her hair behind her ear and pushes the majority of her let-down hair behind her shoulder. she sits, and notices eric looking straight at her.
for a split moment, she thinks if eric will notice this and think that she’s flirting.
was it too obvious?
“still have to complete my readings and tutorials for tomorrow’s class, ugh.”
eric laughs politely, conscious that he doesn’t know how to respond.
“anyway, you really didn’t have to buy me lunch. sunwoo’s paywave had a problem so i just paid on the whim. it really didn’t cost a whole lot.”
“no, but you also helped watch out for me when we were at donghyuck’s birthday party, so if anything, i still owe you.”
though the small talk irks eunjung, she couldn’t complain. having a one-on-one lunch appointment (or date?) with eric was more than what she could’ve asked for, especially on such short notice, on such sudden notice.
it all seemed to work out.
after ordering their meals on the kiosk, they stood near the front counter, butts resting against a cushion backrest with their receipts in between their fingers. eric must have brainstormed a bunch of things to ask because everytime it fell silent, he thought of something new.
what was she majoring in? what was her favourite module? was she involved in any co-curricular? did she have any siblings? why didn’t she have a roommate? (usually students choose to have one. guess eric didn’t take her to be the lonely type.)
however grateful eunjung was that he seemed so pre-occupied at keeping the conversation going, she couldn’t help but feel some kind of desperation. desperation for what, she wasn’t sure.
“how’d you meet him, by the way?”
eunjung looks up from her soup noodles. “huh?”
“dong hyuck.”
“oh.”
“someone mentioned that you’d been friends for a long time.”
“yeah. dong hyuck and i were kindergarten friends. or schoolmates. we went to the same high school afterwards and got into the same class and we just always wound up in the same circle of friends. i guess after such a long time, a close proximity helps with maintaining a friendship.”
“i see,” eric slurps a spoon of soup.
“you? how’d you meet dong hyuck?”
“actually, i met him through sunwoo. they met at a pc gaming centre.”
“ah,” the name stumps her for a moment. “of course, of all ways to meet.”
eric notices the awkward smile that flits across her lips.
“speaking of sunwoo, did you guys know each other before the party?”
“um,” eunjung looks down at her bowl. suddenly, she’s lost her appetite, stomach churning and toes wiggling in her socks uncomfortably. “no. i mean, i guess i’ve seen him around in school, or maybe on donghyuck’s instagram stories or something. i guess we just know of each other’s existence. the party was the first time we spoke properly.”
“i see. did... anything happen after i left? i heard you two were the last to leave the party.”
eunjung scratches the skin under her eye. “uh. no. after we put you in the cab, we helped donghyuck pack up, he made us finish the remaining alcohol, but i went home. in my own cab.”
“and sunwoo?”
“uh. not sure.”
“interesting... because he told me that he sent you back home before going home himself.”
fuck.
“i must’ve been too drunk to remember,” eunjung raises both hands in defeat, laughing it off. it’s smarter to stop sharing her ‘story’ when he has heard sunwoo’s lie.
“you know most of the time we go home on fridays? like we did after the party because it was on a friday night?”
eric drags his chopsticks across the base of the bowl, picking up any stray strands of noodles into his spoon.
“yeah.”
“for sunwoo and i, we usually leave together on fridays. most of the time, we’d play a match of basketball or two with some seniors before going home and we’ll only return on sunday or monday. but because i have class on monday mornings, i’m usually back in school by sunday night. but sunwoo doesn’t. his first class is tuesday mornings, and if he goes home over the weekend, he comes back monday nights.”
eunjung’s fingers go cold.
“but when i got back to the room on sunday night, he was already there.”
eric slurps up his final spoon of noodles. then he leans back in the seat and looks at her.
“so, what really happened?”
she feels like a deer caught in headlights; a child when something horrifying has emerged from the wardrobe opposite her bed. the appetite has completely gone - in fact, she feels like puking everything back into the bowl.
“look,” eric breaks the tension with a relaxed chuckle. “eunjung... i don’t mean to scare you. i just... sunwoo is my friend, and you are a great person. and i just... there’s something telling me that something happened after that party. i’m really wishing it’s not something bad, i just feel like he’s hiding something from me and when that happens, it bothers me. he’s usually an open book so when he’s all grumpy about something i don’t know about, i can’t help and i don’t know what to do.”
suddenly, the perspective shifted. she obviously upset his friend, and now he’s trying to get to the bottom of it. would he even care about the fact that he’s the one she’s interested in?
if it were lia or yeji, eunjung knew she’d pick a fight with the involved man too, even before she knew the full story.
eric tries to read her face, then frowns.
“wait- he didn’t like- touch you inappropriately or-”
“no!” eunjung nearly shouts, which catches the attention of other students around her. she nods as a sign of apology, then turns back to eric and aggressively shakes her head. “nothing of that sorts. i- i don’t have anything against him.”
she huffs, heart pounding in her chest and noodles gurgling in her stomach acids. she places the chopsticks on the rim of the bowl, clasping her hands in her lap as she thinks about what exactly to say.
but as eric waits patiently for the first word to come out, his attention is diverted elsewhere and a smile creeps up on his face.
“thought i’d find you here.”
the familiar voice feels like a haunting harmony, a broken record that’s always finding her no matter where eunjung goes. she watches as sunwoo comes around her, shoving eric across the bench so that he was sitting opposite her instead.
“talking about me, eh? my ears were itching the entire way here!” sunwoo whines childishly, brushing his hair back. he sticks his pinky into his ear and jiggles it, flicking whatever remnants on his finger onto eric.
“what the fuck!” he cackles, shoving sunwoo. “you said you couldn’t make it!”
“well, turns out i could. what was that ‘no!’ i heard form a billion miles away? did you ask her to do your homework?”
“’da hell?” eric looks wrongfully accused, at a loss for words to defend himself. “i was just asking her what went down after donghyuck’s birthday party. you’re telling different fucking stories so i thought you attacked her or something?”
“who do you take me for? damn! we’ve known each other for years and you could think that of me?”
“asshole, you were drunk, weren’t you? i was just making sure she was fine! plus, with you looking gloomy the past few weeks, especially after the party? you couldn’t tell me ‘nothing’s wrong’ and i’d believe it. i may not be very smart but i’m not oblivious.”
“i already told you last night that i sent her home first then i went home, didn’t i?”
“explain why she told me that she put you in a cab and she went home alone then?”
sunwoo glances at eunjung.
“and what about the fact that you were back in the room before i was on sunday night? that meant you stayed over the entire weekend!”
“god dammit, shut your yapping hole,” sunwoo swings an arm over eric’s shoulders and covers his mouth with his free hand. “you ask too many questions for such a non-issue. we were both drunk and bestie here clearly doesn’t fucking remember anything except the cab ride, so she thinks she got me into the cab first when it was i, her. and please, i came back to the room because i didn’t want my family seeing me so drunk! they’d kill me if they saw me getting drunk on friday the night before school reopens! i’m not a degen.”
eric squints, prying sunwoo’s hand off his face.
“i don’t believe you.”
“of course you don’t, when do you ever?”
“i would if you weren’t fucking lying all the time.”
the back-and-forth banter may have been entertaining to watch, eunjung remembers that she was the topic of the conversation. she has registered that they spoke about it, and sunwoo made up a lie. at the end of the day, he was keeping the secret for her.
“sorry if we made you uncomfortable,” eric reaches across the table with an open palm, tilting his head to read her face.
“no, you just wanted to make sure i’m fine apart from his mood swings, that’s all.”
eunjung manages a smile, waving it off.
“then what are you being so moody about?” eric finally turns to sunwoo, frown on his face.
just when she thought she was in the clear.
sunwoo clears his throat, blinking profusely at eric while he tried his best to think of an excuse. a reason. another believable lie.
“don’t you think we’d be better off having this conversation in private?” he hisses through his teeth, suddenly quieter, like the secret really was private. if it wasn’t about eunjung, she would’ve been impressed at how hard he was trying to keep this secret in the bag. but for now, she was grateful.
“i did try to ask you in private last night but you gave me that whole story that didn’t line up with what she said. plus, you never told me why you were being so glum.”
if yeji and lia were here, eunjung knew for a fact that they would groan in utter disbelief. he had basically summed up the question and answer in a sentence, but because eric didn’t have plausible belief that it actually happened, it was never a hypothesis. it hits eunjung that maybe sunwoo wasn’t all that of a playboy and a flirt, because if he were, eric would’ve already guessed it and probably left it alone.
but eunjung can see from sunwoo’s face that he was running out of gas. maybe because it was to his best friend, lying was harder, especially when it’s not something he’d usually joke about.
and suddenly, eunjung feels horrible that she’s the reason why there seemed to be a seed of distrust between them. how far will this go? would eric feel betrayed, knowing that sunwoo wasn’t telling him the truth? would they lie awake at night, thinking about confronting each other, but choosing not to, in fear of losing the friendship?
hell, no. she didn’t want to be responsible for breaking up a bromance.
but if she told eric the truth, wouldn’t it make things even more awkward?
“eric.”
the two stop bickering and turn to her.
“i will tell you, but you have to stay calm and don’t freak out. and above all else, keep it to yourself.”
“what are you doing?” sunwoo seethes through his teeth, glaring at her.
“do you want me to help you or not?” eunjung retorts, crossing her arms.
“it depends on what you’re going to say-”
“we had a one-night stand.”
if the conversation were happening in a library, the silence would’ve been even more deafening than ‘deafening silence’. you could probably hear the wind from outside, beyond the three-inch-thick glass panel.
but they were in an eatery where people’s lives and conversations still carried on without the knowledge of theirs. everything else was still moving.
everything but eric and sunwoo.
“that’s why he stayed over the weekend. i went home the next morning. obviously, it’s taking a toll on him, which is why he’s so glum, isn’t that right?”
eric slowly turns to look at sunwoo, who returns the look but is visibly more shocked that she told him that part of the story.
“but you-”
“but i like you, eric.”
eunjung looks straight at him, watching his teasing shock turn into genuine surprise.
“and sunwoo knew, so he’s troubled by it. and frankly, so am i. because how could i ever stand a chance with you when it happened? what if you knew? what would you think of me?” eunjung sighs. “that night meant nothing to me, but i believe it didn’t for sunwoo either until afterwards.”
eric’s lips are parted, searching for the words to say, but fails. he leans back in the seat, fingers combing the hair on the back of his head.
sunwoo looks at him, then looks at eunjung, and looks back at him. “wish you didn’t ask so much now, huh?”
“will you shut the fuck up?” eunjung snaps at him. “eric, i’m sorry that this happened. you’re not a part of this, and all this complex shit is just between sunwoo and i. i’m telling you this only because i don’t want the two of you to fall out because of me. not to be a pick me.”
they sit in silence for what felt like minutes, unsure what to say.
“eric, are you mad?”
he looks up, eyes tired and lips pursed. “mad? no. shocked? yeah. that was alot of shit to take in at once.”
sunwoo’s shoulders slack, like his facade has given up and faded. he rests and elbow on the table, his mouth and chin in his palm.
“first of all, i wouldn’t really care that you- it happened. but you’re right, it does make things stickier because it was with sunwoo, and he’s my best friend. like you girls, you have a girl code, don’t you? we have a bro code too. it’s the same thing. and second of all,” a smile slowly creeps onto eric’s lips. his eyes finally soften as he finishes processing his next words. “eunjung, you barely know me. i feel like... your feelings for me are infatuation, or just a simple crush. i’m really flattered, don’t get me wrong. it’s just that i wasn’t really looking for anything now because i came out of a relationship myself.”
“wait, what?”
“what?” eric frowns again.
“you told me that you’d only try when eric rejects me.” a heavy weight sinks in her stomach. she turns to sunwoo. “you knew that he wasn’t looking for anything. why didn’t you just tell me that he wasn’t looking for anything?”
“i wasn’t going to tell you that he just came out of a relationship, was i?” sunwoo’s sharp tone stuns both eric and eunjung. he sensed her hostility, and he will be hostile back. “if he rejects you, that’s his decision. i’m not him, am i? and- and if i did, you would’ve just given up, wouldn’t you? that would mean you didn’t have to choose. you would’ve moved on. but i- i wanted you to choose.”
“i don’t understand where the fuck all this came from,” eunjung throws her hands up in defeat for the second time this lunch. “you’re being so fucking dramatic.”
“i’m being dramatic? what about you? if your feelings are clear, why are you avoiding me? you just said you were troubled too. what does that mean?”
“okay, now, we can have this conversation in private,” eric hurriedly stands, walking over to eunjung and helping her with her bowl.
“it means you’re fucking confusing me! you think you can boss me around and tell me what to do just because that night happened?”
“whoa! i didn’t once threaten you with the fact that you liked eric, just in case you didn’t fucking notice! and just in case you really didn’t notice, i just spent lunch cooking up dumb excuses so you didn’t have to say anything!”
“can the two of you cool it off?!” eric hisses. finally, they have caught the attention of other students. “unless you two want the entire fucking world to know what happened, you can continue talking here.”
tonight, i seek refuge in the beauty of writing and words, as i have here, for the last couple of years. i ask for forgiveness that the first thing i write and post on here after such a long time is of bleak and somewhat depressing content.
i have been an avid kpop-cover dancer for the last 5 years, beginning in the later half of 2019. i like to tell myself that it's not about looking pretty like the idols do, but since i grew up with kpop and the idea of being perfect, this was the goal. since this was the goal, i tried my best to improve, to become a GOOD dancer, not JUST a visual-reliant kpop-cover dancer.
my anxiety gradually got worse over the years - and it definitely got worse over the last and this year thus far. earlier this year, i was stressed from a work meeting. it resulted in a temporary insomnia episode where i had trouble sleeping. to solve this, i bought melatonin gummies and even tried listening to meditation podcasts. it worked.
but in late march, the night before one of my performance's filming, i couldn't sleep.
this happened again last week, and unfortunately, it persisted over the entire weekend, for about 3 nights in a row.
in a bid to recover from this insomniac episode, i negotiated a work-from-home schedule to try to recover as i had a new practice schedule starting wednesday (this was 4 days ago).
who would've thought - after practice, i got home, lied down, but could only hear the song. i close my eyes and i could only see the dance practice video in my head.
needless to say, i held my calm first, aware that i was overthinking and it was the stress. i picked up my already-started sticker book and completed a couple of pages. i called my boyfriend. i wrote.
then at 4am, i started freaking out, because i tried for the third time and still couldn't sleep.
i freaked out because the realisation hit me - that maybe i had to give up something i loved, to protect myself. i cried from 4am to 5am, letting the grief overwhelm me as the realisation sort of took over. the logical side of my brain was finally at a cold stance with my heart - one that knew what was best for my mind and my body, but the other, devastated that this was how the passion will slow miserably to a halt.
last year, i left a crew that i started because i no longer aligned with the other founder. i started a new one just before christmas, hoping that i could turn over a new page, and have something that i could proudly call mine.
now, i feel like i failed myself. i feel like the fire has gone out without a fight, and i'm left, staring at it's grave that i so unwillingly dug and buried.
it's been 4 days, 3 nights. my sleep quality has improved tremendously - i fall asleep without eating my melatonin gummies or using my lavender scents or any meditation techniques. i sleep perfectly fine throughout the night, no longer waking up halfway or having intense dreams.
with each unproblematic night, my heart struggles to accept the truth - that not everything you love is good for you. i call it my retirement plan, but perhaps it was for the best. for my physical health, for my mental health.
hello I know you said you don’t really write anymore but I was just wondering if you happened to have an ao3 account? just because I find it a bit easier to read on there. it’s fine if you don’t I was just wondering. Thank you
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i'm from the caribbean, right now its 10:16am 😭 we're so far away loll and yeah i miss those concepts but i still do like the new ones, i love how they didnt stuck in only one concept and explored more ¡! tho dark blood is quite similar to border day one and orange blood to dimension dilemma
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omg we're 12 hours apart! wow!
honestly, one of the best parts of writing on tumblr is being able to meet new people, even if i know nothing about them. though, i've made close enough friends a couple. someone's from new zealand, someone's from the UK and another's from USA and they got comfortable enough with me to exchange Instagrams 😭 (not pressuring you to do the same but i just felt like i had to brag about how much writing on tumblr has brought me!!)
if you don't mind me asking - how old are you? like are you in school, are you working? i'm just curious but no pressure to answer <3
i stanned enha during border:carnival era and the first member to catch my attention was jungwon bc of his pretty nose and eyes then i got to know the other members and when my eyes landed on sunoo i completely forgot about the others.. it was like love at first sight 😻 (im delusional) plus it wasnt only his looks, i relate a lot to sunoo and i felt so much familiarity when it came to him (i still do), then months later jay caught my attention and my bias list didnt change until 2022 when i went back to my jungwon obsession and now its 1. sunoo 2. jay 3. jungwon (hamlinz enthusiast!!)
i legit thought heejake were brothers in the first 4 days getting to know the members but then started seeing the many differences and realized theyre actually not related 😭😭. sometimes i wish i knew them before (since i started stanning them 5 months after their debut) but then im grateful that fate brought them to me the day it did bc i wasnt into kpop until 2021 and i bet if i knew abt enhypen earlier (like iland or their debut days) i wouldnt have gotten into them bc yeah im like that 😂
how are you today? btw where are you from bc i think we have -very- different timezones
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ahhh i only knew them from their debut onwards. i loved given-taken and tbvvvh i really wish they continued with this concept. after fever i feel like they pulled away and then explored other styles but they never really went back to sounding like gt and fever.
i'm singaporean. it's 11.30pm right now. and yes, i guessed we're on opposite ends of the world 😭
it's okay if youre not as active as you used to be but if you ever feel like stopping writing pls dont delete ur blog 😭🙏🏻 i used to write too but i ran out of energy to do so + getting a job and entering adulthood drained me sm i took a hiatus and never logged in again hajshah
yes! im an enhypen stan :3 (easy to tell LMAO) but no im not a jake stan 😭 im actually a sunoo enthusiast ever since i started stanning enha but i mean whose heart jake hasnt stolen at first sight? and the funniest part is that my bias wrecker is jay LOL (im a sunjay girly) jake is not even close to my top 3 biases but hey, thats JAKE! sim jaeyun 🤤🤤 he has something, idk what it is but theres something (literally everything abt him)
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i totally get the running out of steam... i wrote so much in y1 and y2 of uni (or college depending on where you're from) and then y3 and y4 sucked my soul too much and i couldn't find that much time and energy to write anymore...
i agree that jake has a type of magnetic vibe to him? even if it's a curated persona (which i doubt so, at least not jake), he just has that flirty, handsome, frat boy vibe to him (i mean this as a complement)!! i started out as a heejay stan, but halfway through jake was like begging for attention (i believe this was some time after fever era)
btw, now that ive been reading more of your works after empath i realized that ive read some of your works before but like BEFORE
ive read The Sinister Seven, Dancing With Your Ghost and Atlantean (all enhypen works) back in like 2021 and 2022 and i swear when i read Atlantean back in like 2022 i lost the post and i didnt remember your blog name nor did i fully know how tumblr worked and i kept looking for it for a while until a gave up and i think its fate and karma rewarding me bc i found your blog again (by coincidence!)
i just NEED to say it again: i LOVE your works sm thx for never deactivating 🫶🏻
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aww thank you so much <3 i actually had an 'existential crisis' last year? or maybe earlier this year... about whether i should deactivate since i'm not longer actively writing like a machine... so thank you for re-assuring me!
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the guy and i have known each other for a couple months alr and i dont even like him we met thru mutual friends and we stayed as acquaintances (i lowk decided that bc its quite hard for me to have deep and close friendships irl). i don't think i'd want to be in a relationship either, i had a bf before and he cheated on me hajshaka but its not like im scared of dating someone its just that i don't want the responsabilities that come with a relationship and prefer to just avoid any approaching suitor 🙂↕️
and u? are u dating someone, have a crush or something like that?
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oh....... well... take it from someone who used to have crushes/get infatuated easily... it will pass... 😭 in my prime, i crushed on a new guy every few months.
blast the man that cheated on you - sometimes it takes awhile to find a person that really matches your vibe, especially in the long term or when you haven't really found yourself...
i've been in a relationship for about 1.5 years! we've been friends since 2015, so it's been a long time. it's a long story HAHHAHA
i met a sweet guy today and *sighs* it started raining and he offered me a ride so i accepted and *sighs* i dont know this just confirms that im such a hopeless romantic (he was doing the bare minimum but i have affection deficiency)
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i just woke up and it's a public holiday so thank god!
unfortunately, my first, instinctive reaction to your episode is 'oh, nooooooo...' but i have to ask more - like are you friends? how long have you known each other? are you infatuated, is it a crush or have you liked him for a long time, like what's the story??? 😱
(also i'm like 24, so i apologies in advance if i sound like i'm old.)
