#eric angst

Even now we're you started having sex with Eric and Jeno, both noticed that you're scared so one spoke "don't worry y/n, we will make it gentle as your first time as official pornstar" said Jeno before kissing you and put some hickey to your hole, it's go sign of Eric to put some love mark's to like he's friend Jeno, now you're moaning nonstop from pleasure of two men making love at you, before you slurping their sweet from their armpits, before both removing your clothes one by one, while both sucking your plump nipples. Until both removed the last garment or your underwear that covered your butt and cock, before one of them rimming your hole to stretch it out, to avoid of you having pain of them penetratin your hole with their cock, while Jeno the one that wearing nerd glasses, just like the Otakusumo story named exactly the video to you're making name Taste The Twins 🔞🌧️♊, that still not complete and make other stories that he will continue's it, and rebloged it after he finishes it just like Christmas Story's and Special One's. He only need finished two more stories and rebloged it again, back to the story of Jeno is wearing nerd glasses and remove it sexually, sending your heart jump from he's unnatural beauty, he so handsome that even straight men can turned on, but you don't noticed that he wanking he's cock and asking for a blowjob while Eric is rimming your hole, before Eric fingering it nonstop sending moaning nonstop from pleasure of he's finger's that fingering your hole, you want to moan how good Eric's fingers but can't cause of Jeno's cock, it's your own fault too we're you accepted of sucking he's cock. We're you're ready of penetrated Eric wank he's cock, that are angry and ready to penetratin your hole, now he's cock is being kissed by your hole, sending you both Eric and you moaning from your tight hole, while Eric is enjoying your tight hole before he penetratin your hole slowly, now your mouth and hole is being occupied by their cock, both enjoying the tightness of your mouth and hole, before you wanking Jeno's cock and leaking it like a delicious dessert, either lollipop or cold dessert like ice cream, that you enjoyed licking sending Jeno's see's star's.

Even Eric also enjoying the pleasure of your hole, and just like that after few minutes both Eric and Jeno cummed to your separate hole's, now you feel their hot cum flowing to your mouth and hole, both still exhausted from cumming to your mouth and hole, before both have stamina for another round of having sex, and just like you're being double penetrated by Jeno and Eric, at first it's hurt from being double penetrated p by them, after all they are have already experience and have sex sessions with other porn actor's, either male or female. And just like you both cummed deep inside your hole, and after both cum deep inside your hole and you all have energy, you just interview of how your first with Eric and Jeno, you just said it's great and slightly nervous as your first sex as a adult porn actor, you shocked that both Yohan and Hyunjae said you staring them, and that's the reason of your first sex session with porn actor not a real one, but as a pornographer and said embarrassed that you just need to use the bathroom, sending you in the hot sit. That's your first sex as adult actor making a porn, you even said you will punch or so forbidden tiqnueq of using your hand's to fierce their butt hard, sending both them scream from pain, to you it's not still good punished to them of sending you in hot sit, after you clean your body you see Eric and Jeno, asking your number if both you and them like a video again, and that's your first video.

it’s been three months since your life took the most unexpected turn, one you wouldn’t have been able to imagine even in your wildest childhood fantasies of dragons and princesses and enchanted castles and witches and knights who run valiantly against all odds with nothing but bravery running in their veins streaming next to their racing blood.

you’ve tried to think of this as another fantasy, a nightmarish, ghastly one but a fantasy nonetheless. a make-believe you’ll be able to break free from once the other players got bored of the game but you quickly realized that real life just doesn’t work like that.

real life doesn’t just stop. you can’t hit pause when you’re tired and need a break, you can’t break character because there’s no character to break just as there’s no princesses or armored knights willing to risk it all for their one true love.

still, you faked your belief as you wrote down stories and made your little drawings to match the tale. there were children here and despite it all, they deserve to have hopeful daydreams even if they’re counterfeit.

everyday during the afternoon, the children huddled around you. taking turns reading and passing the pages you’ve written of fairy tales you’ve heard or imagined. the look on their faces kept you going.

sooner, more people joined in. some of them wrote their own stories which you were grateful for because you were most definitely outnumbered by these children, and some were just there to read which you didn’t mind as well, fairy tales don’t have an age limit. everyone needs a little reverie to get by sometimes.

there was a guy who didn’t write or read, he didn’t draw too. he performed magic tricks with cards and coins and papers and pens. the kids loved him.

you later learned that his name is eric and he came from england to study law, “it was the one thing i was supposed to do and it’s gone now.” he wrote, sadness is engraved in his face you wonder if he’s ever known peace, even before the invasion.

“your career as a magician is going well.” you wrote back and he smiled at you, nodding, agreeing.

eric and you became inseparable. mostly because he followed you around like a shadow or a puppy who decided you’re his person and you didn’t mind it. you liked having him around, he was sweet and kind, he always gave you half of his food and his jacket when you got cold and his presence attracted cats for some reason.

seriously, you’ve never seen so many stray cats gathering around someone’s feet.

if you were to die tomorrow, you’d be glad you got to spend your last days with eric and you hoped he felt the same way.

on a particular night, you were sat in your designated corner of the safe house, wearing eric’s jacket, writing and drawing while he laid his head by your knees, watching your fingers at work, admiring you.

your eyes met a few times and you saw how his cheeks turned pink as well as his ears. he’s adorable, you thought. you wished you’ve met him under different circumstances even though you highly doubt you would’ve noticed him if the world wasn’t ending. guys like eric don’t get to have their moment until it’s too late.

your pen runs dry so you try another then another then another until you’ve tried all of your pens and combined none of them have enough ink for more than a sentence which you use to write to eric, “i’m going to the stationary, i need pens. won’t take long.” each few words are written in a different color.

eric sits up, “i’ll go with you.” he mouths, immediately getting up to his feet and offering you his hands which you take but shake your head at him.

“no.” you mouth, “you stay here.”

eric nods, understanding and you raise your eyebrows at him just to make sure. he nods again.

“i’ll be quick.” you mouth to him, taking a flashlight from the table and heading to the door, opening it extra carefully.

when you try to close the door behind you, it doesn’t move.

your heart drops then you see a hand keeping it open. eric squeezes himself in the small opening and closes the door quietly behind you.

you glare at him and push at his chest which he doesn’t react to. he just shrugs and links your arms together which you let him do because what else is there to do now?

you walk side by side, shining the light ahead, careful of your every step.

once you reach the stationary, eric pushes the door open lightly and you go in, try to switch the lights on but as usual, there’s no electricity so you wander around in darkness, in silence.

picking a pack of black pens and notebooks, you notice eric is doing the same, choosing the ones with cartoon characters on the cover and glittery colorful gel pens.

he removes the pen cap and starts writing, “i like your stories.” you smile at him, watching him writing again, taking longer this time. “growing up i didn’t like to read much, but i do now.”

placing your stack of notebooks and pens on a shelf, you take his and write back. “why didn’t you like to read?”

“didn’t find the point in it. especially fairy tales, i thought why read about something that won’t ever happen?”

you read what he wrote and think about your current mindset, how you agree with what he used to think.

“what changed your mind?”

he takes the notebook from your hands and your fingers brush against each other, leaving a tender sparkle in their wake.

“you.”

your cheeks feel hot, your whole face feels hot. suddenly you’re grateful for the lack of electricity so he wouldn’t see the colors your face is turning into.

“that’s ironic because i don’t believe in them anymore.”

he frowns but before he could write something back, a sound in the distance catches both of your attention. a sound you know too well because you know to avoid it.

you stare at each other and you quickly put all you’ve got into your bag. eric grabs your arm and pulls you toward the door but a creature blocks the way, standing in front of you with its heaving, heavy breathing body.

you curse in your mind at the way your heart is pounding, terrified that it could hear it from the other side of the door.

eric is standing closer to the creature, the only thing separating them is the flimsy glass, you try to pull him back, put more distance between them but he won’t budge, he won’t move.

slowly, he turns his head to the side, catching an emergency exit door in the furthest corner of the store. you follow his line of vision and see it too.

“go” he mouths and you squeeze his arm, silently asking him to move with you but he’s still.

more creatures are standing outside the store now, roaming the streets viciously.

“go!” he mouths more aggressively, you dash your way towards the exit door, you didn’t even notice if he was behind you or not.

not until you grabbed the handle and twisted it open then looked back and saw him still standing by the glass door, a smile on his mouth and tears streaming down his face. “don’t you ever stop believing.” he says and you get to hear his voice for the first time.

for the last time.

your hand smacks against your mouth, muffling your screams as you leave through the exit door, listening to the sounds of glass breaking and eric’s shattering cries.

somehow you’ve made it back to the safe house, you can’t remember how much you’ve walked or ran or what you saw on your way back. you can’t talk, not because it would kill you but because you can’t think, you can’t even cry. your mind can’t process what happened. you can see it, you can hear it but you can’t understand it.

going back to your corner, you see eric’s cards sitting by the stacks of your pages, you can feel his jacket on your shoulders, keeping you warm. you can still feel his presence, he can’t be gone. it couldn’t have happened…

for the next few days, you spent them in more silence than before. another thing you didn’t think was possible yet were proven wrong.

when you were asked about where eric is, you wrote down what happened. people hugged you, held you, gave you looks of sympathy as they wrote to you that it isn’t your fault but how wasn’t it?

if you didn’t go to get your stupid pens he would’ve been here right now, performing his silly magic tricks where he makes a coin disappear then pull it from behind someone’s ear, leaving a smile on everyone's tired faces.

the children also asked you where he went with their wide eyed gazes, they missed their magic man. you told them this was another trick of his, he made himself disappear and they gasped in response, delighted with that answer.

eric’s last words still ring in your head, bouncing off its corners.

“don’t you ever stop believing.”

he believed in your fairy tales, he believed in you.

you desperately want to break down, to say fuck it all and go out screaming but he told you to never stop believing. you’ll never forgive yourself for that night, you know that already but you can’t live with yourself if you let his sacrifice be for nothing so you wrote.

and you wrote and you wrote some more. you wrote until your fingers started bleeding then wrote again once they dried up.

you passed the stories around, all of them about a kind, brown eyed magic man and his adventures.

the magic man who can’t turn away when he’s needed, even if the person needing him doesn’t know how much they need his help.

the magic man who wins all of his fights against monsters, no matter how big or small.

the magic man who saves the day, saves the town, saves the princess and lives to tell the stories.

the magic man who stayed.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

“Ah,” you gasp, a grateful expression breezing over your features, “thanks. I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Eric hums, watching your every move. Your figure walks over to the front of the car, your head popping in close to the window to look inside, and when a satisfied look overtakes your features, Eric finds himself asking. “Is that everything?”

“Yeah,” you nod, “we can head inside, I think.”

The boy tries hard to keep his cool, he really does. But with how he’s trailing behind you like a lost puppy, attempting to find a topic that would engage him in a conversation with you, he feels like a boy that is just experiencing a crush for the first time in his life. Everything about you is enchanting– and sure, you could say he was just painfully attracted to you and this had nothing to do with love– but he was also convinced that if you asked him to jump off the Empire State Building, he would do it without giving it a second thought (which is kind of worrying, but again– it says a lot). 

You open the door to the cabin for him, and he finds himself speechless at the action. Once your eyes meet again and you offer him another subtle smile, he finds himself gasping at the sentence that comes out of your mouth.

“Hey! We’re matching, kinda,” you note, pointing towards his outfit.

And you’re right– Eric didn’t even notice at first, too enchanted with your sheer existence– but you two were indeed wearing the same thing. Jean shorts, and a white button-up– in your case, thrown over a white tank top, in Eric’s, closed (although he did leave it a bit open at the top, revealing his tanned skin). Suddenly, the boy is glad he’s wearing a red cap to cover up his hair, since he foolishly thinks the hat provides him enough shade in the face to not reveal his burning cheeks as he utters out a weak response.

“It looks so much better on you, though.”

With that, he walks into the cabin– escaping the situation, not really paying a single thought to chivalry and letting you go through the door first– and as he reaches the crowd of people in the kitchen, he prays for all high sources to find him, get to him and wipe his brain clean of all thoughts, because

even though you are basically matching (and he does think you look so much better in the outfit than he does), all he can think about is just how much more he’d like your outfit if the white button-up enveloping your body was the one he’s wearing right now instead.

The next time Eric finds courage to talk to you is when it seems like you’re not finding it to talk to anyone else yourself– the big group is currently sitting around a fire, marshmallows and sausages slowly burning in the blazing flames– and while everyone around was either talking to each other or singing along to the songs Jacob was playing on the guitar, you were sitting alone in the middle of two commotions: Chanhee and Changmin arguing about something seemingly important, and Yeri and Juyeon making out right in front of everyone’s eyes. 

And Eric was supposed to listen to Sunwoo talk about his latest heartbreak– how the man still gets no girls despite having such an objectively handsome face, Eric truly doesn’t know– but the topic of the conversation was too boring for him to engage with it. That, and he was also painfully aware of your every move– you didn’t even move much– and word– you weren’t talking to anybody– and that was slowly driving him insane.

You looked a little out of place. Eric supposes it was because you didn’t really know anyone here– except from your best friend and her awfully sappy boyfriend– but even though it was logical and a little expected for you to be a bit excluded in such a foreign circle, the man took it as his mission to make you feel as welcome and as included as he physically could.

Completely ignoring Sunwoo’s blabbering (like he was doing for the last few minutes anyway), Eric confidently (and a bit shakily– hands sweating and breath hitching in his throat) walks to the other side of the bonfire, from where he’s been watching your stone expression through the flames, and sits down in the small place between you and Changmin. Changmin wasn’t even facing you, too engrossed in the debate he was having with Chanhee, and so it was Eric’s job to wobble his bottom into the place, efficiently making the older boy move away with a light elbow jab sent into his lower back.

“Hi,” he clears his throat, “are you having fun?” he asks, but mentally curses at himself right as the question escapes his mouth– does she look like she's having fun? Of course she doesn't, you stupid idiot.

You smile at the question, though, nodding. “Yeah,” you hum, “having lots of fun listening to your friends argue and my friends making out next to my ear.”

“You seemed like it too, y’know,” Eric laughs, “they’re always like this, by the way. They’ll forget about the fight in the morning.”

“Oh, that could never be me,” you sigh, shaking your head at the sentiment.

“No?”

“No,” you shrug, “I get too petty. If we have a fight, I’m not speaking to you for at least two weeks.”

Eric finds himself laughing at your comment. “I’ll remember that for future reference.”

Straightening your back and looking at your companion– as if you were going to call him out on his subtle hint of there being any future meeting between the two of you– you suddenly gasp and swiftly turn towards the bonfire, an honest mourn escaping your lips.

“Oh fuck!” you curse under your breath as your hand reaches towards a stick that’s had its end in the flame, the device efficiently resting against a rock in a position where you didn’t have to pay any attention to the snack you were cooking– more like burning– for yourself. With a quick move for the stick, you pull the tip of it out of the scorching red of the bonfire and look at it in an examining way, as if the result would be different and the marshmallow would unburn itself if you stared at it long enough. “I completely forgot about this!”

Eric takes a glance at the burnt piece of fluff, letting out a laugh at the black marshmallow in front of your face. “That’s not how you make a good s’more,” he notes, poking fun at your annoyed face.

“Oh, no shit, Sherlock…” you mutter under your breath, but your face looks a bit sad to see the piece go to waste. “I don’t know why I even tried, I’m bad at this stuff.”

There comes his moment, Eric thinks. “Well, you’re lucky, ‘cause you just met an expert at making s’mores.”

“Does a thing like that even exist?” you chuckle, rolling your eyes at the male in disbelief. 

“Of course it does! You’re looking at one now,” he grins, leaning over you to take a brand new marshmallow out of the bag to your right– sandwiched between your thigh and the couple in love– before he reaches over to your hand and takes the roasting stick out of your hand, slides the white fluffy cloud through the sharp tip and hovers it above the flame.

“The key is to hold it above the flame, and not in the flame,” Eric chuckles as he looks at you from the corner of his eye, watching your expression change.

“Oh, but I thought the key is to burn the thing,” you ironically gasp, shaking your head at his teasing. “Where did you even learn all of this?”

“I grew up in the States,” Eric hums, “they would deport me if I didn’t know how to make s’mores.”

The comment gets a giggle out of you– a sound Eric almost folds at and falls into the open fire (thankfully, he held his composure– he doesn’t think 3rd degree burns would suit his look) – and it takes everything in him to not scream like a teenage girl at the thought of making you laugh. Yes, that’s how down bad you managed to get the male.

“Do you have a special recipe?”

“Just the basic one,” he shrugs, turning the skewer in his hand to make the marshmallow equally glazed on each side, “I will make it extra good for you, though.”

“I thought a master always does their best?” you tease, watching as the boy crumbles under your gaze.

“Not always. I don’t like to put effort into things that aren’t worth it,” Eric hums as he takes the marshmallow out of the burning fire, examining it, and after deeming it worthy, taking the skewer and holding it up in between his knees. The male takes a graham cracker and tears it in half, before adding chocolate to one of the sides. After he’s done, he carefully places the golden fluff ball onto the cracker and closes it, offering the sweet sandwich to you with a subtle smile.

“For you,” he winks as he turns back towards the fire, putting another marshmallow onto the stick to make himself a s’more as well (and also mentally kicking himself at the sudden burst of courage). He hears you take a bite out of the snack, his knee bouncing up and down nervously as he awaits the verdict.

“Man,” you hum, “this is so good.”

“Told you,” he says, “if there’s something I’m confident in, it’s making s’mores.”

“That’s a very unuseful skill to have,” you note, but continue to eat. The comment has him chuckle and shrug.

“Well, I used it now, so I’d argue it’s actually very useful.”

A hum cuts out of your throat at this, finishing the s’more he made for you with a satisfied sigh. “Is this how you got girls back in the States?” you ask, making the male choke on his spit.

Eric was too young to get girls when he learned how to make the greatest s’mores. He went camping with his dad and his older sister and he burned a couple before he got it right. He was in middle school and before what the kids call a glow-up these days (back in the days, you just called it overcoming puberty), but still– he decides to test the waters with another lazy, half-assed flirty comment. “Only the pretty ones.”

He hears a chuckle out of you– a reaction he decides to not pay much attention to or overthink, for he doesn’t really remember what a good reaction to flirting is anymore– but then, you sigh and nod. “Well, I give your s’more a 5 star review, so I’d find that believable.”

The comment has Eric press his tongue into the inside of his cheek, battling a victorious smile that wants to oh so desperately appear on his lips. Turning his attention fully to you, he looks at you with confidence coating his insides– it only grows when he notices you staring at the side of his face, the flame of the fire twinkling in your eye and making your features sharper and twice as attractive to the poor boy. 

His eyes scan you over for a few seconds before he notices a glimmer of something on the side of your lip– a chocolate stain that has him cautiously lean in and swipe a thumb over the sweetness, not even thinking twice before smoothing his finger over your skin. 

“You had a little… something there,” he hums as he licks the chocolate off his thumb. Your eyes still trained on him force him to avert his gaze back to the fire– for it was unbearable, as if sparks were flying and burning his skin, everything about the interaction making goosebumps appear over his body; even though he felt hot in his cheeks and not at all cold– when the sight of his marshmallow in flames suddenly comes to him, startling him awake.

Hurriedly dragging out the burnt snack out of the fire, he hears you chuckle at him from the side– so much for not ruining the moment. (It’s okay, though. As long as you’re entertained.)

“I thought you were a master at s’mores,” you poke fun at him, “got distracted?”

Meeting eyes with you, Eric shrugs, a lazy grin settling to his lips. “I guess you could say that.”

The night progresses quickly– with Sunwoo getting so drunk he borrows Jacob’s guitar and clumsily strums the strings, freestyle rapping about the most random topics with flushed cheeks and eyes dramatically glued to the fire; Hyunjae wanting to have a competition of who can jump over the flames and Sangyeon having to stop his drunk friend with the force of his own body– and Eric finds his eyes lacking the candy he’s been occupying himself with the whole evening. You disappeared somewhere into the house a few minutes ago, and although he didn’t want to be clingy, he walked up to the cabin with a nervous pep in his step– that’s it, he just wanted to make sure you were okay.

Eric walks through the doorway, having his body immediately be met with the joined common room slash kitchen area. The cabin is kind of small (too small for the amount of people currently occupying it) and kind of old, but it’s a tradition to rent it every year during the summer, so no one ever questioned the decision or made the move to rent out a bigger one, no matter the growing friend group.

Your figure finally appears in the dimly lit kitchen area, your back turned to the doorway. Standing at the kitchen sink, it seems like you were doing the dishes– tons of plates used to carry grilled meat and sausages dumped carelessly into the sink, forgotten in a minute and leaving the last remains of food dry up on them and get hard to scrape off, a couple of glasses and mugs with their ears broken off from their age waiting with coffee stains at the bottom– and Eric immediately feels his heart fall down to his stomach, because why would one do the dishes in the middle of the night? Those usually get left there until the morning, when the least hungover person will take mercy on the rest and take care of them. Were you feeling excluded from the conversation? Did you feel bored? 

“What are you doing here so alone?” he asks, making you turn your head over your shoulder and smile at him– a stone falling off his heart at the action– before you shrug at him.

“Washing the dishes,” you say, as if it wasn’t clear already.

“I see that,” Eric chuckles, “what I meant to say was, why are you washing the dishes in the first place?”

“Well, somebody’s gotta do it.” 

Eric huffs– and he doesn’t even know why he’s so defensive about it. “That someone didn’t have to be you, y’know.”

He’s standing next to you now– your eyes meeting as you stare at the boy for a heartbeat– a smile spreading on your face at his furrowed brows. The action has him visibly relax, watching as you shrug and get back to the dish washing. “I just wanted some alone time for a bit,” you muse, “outside was getting too loud for a second, I’m not used to crowds.”

“Ah… once Sunwoo drinks, he can’t shut up, so I kinda get that it was starting to feel insufferable,” Eric notes, nodding at you in acknowledgement before the realization hits him. “Wait– you said you wanted to be alone, so I should probably-”

You halt him with a soft laugh– the one Eric finds his heart liking a little too much, with how it jumps up and down and makes all of him feel warm inside– a soapy hand reaching out in his direction. “It’s okay, you can stay,” you muse, “I enjoy your company.”

“O-okay,” Eric stutters– so much for the smooth lines he had prepared in his head before coming in here, all of them flying out of his head straight out of the window– and to not seem so silly, he gets his hands occupied and reaches for the clean dishes you started stacking on the counter next to the sink, deciding to dry them and put them away. The kitchen falls into a comfortable silence that only gets broken by an occasional scream landing through the walls from outside, and Eric can’t help but indulge himself in the domesticity of the act.

He can almost imagine you two washing the dishes like this in your shared apartment after you two cook dinner together and eat it in your cozy living room. That scenario sounds almost too good for the boy, having warmth slowly ooze into his cheeks, and that, he finds to be the hint that he should probably stop thinking about you in that way now or else he’ll get too distracted and break the glasses he is currently putting away. (God forbid– there were not enough of them for the entire friend group in the first place.)

“Are you having a good time, though?” Eric finds himself asking through his weird delirium.

You smile– oh god you smile, you should stop doing that if you want him to survive the night– and nod at the boy, calmness overtaking your aura and slipping into his cracks as well. “I am. It’s nice meeting new people and everyone’s very nice,” you say.

“That’s good to hear. How long have you and Yeri been friends?”

“A couple of years,” you note, “we met during high school. We always dreamt of moving away to college and living together at dorms or something, so it’s… it’s nice that it worked out for us,” you say, having Eric nod at your words with a sweet smile.

“That’s great to hear,” he muses, “I met Juyeon and Sunwoo in my freshman year of college, and the rest just… came along after a while.”

“Your friend group is pretty big,” you point out, having the boy shrug.

“I guess so,” Eric mumbles, never really thinking of it this way– in his eyes, this was normal. This was how he operated, how he lived. A lot of people around him, always close– one would think such a large friend group wouldn’t be as close with each other, but it’s quite the opposite in his case, he thinks. Maybe he was just blessed.

“How do you do that?” you sigh, shaking your head in disbelief.

“I dunno,” he snickers, “guess you could say I’m quite the social butterfly.”

“I can see that,” you laugh. Eric watches you, his hands now empty of any dish– he’s been drying them quicker than you manage to clean (and rightfully so, the food is stuck on there) – he starts noticing the details of your sheer presence. How you have a slight smile playing with your lips even when your eyes are glued to the sink, how your hair slightly slips out of the claw clip and frames your face, how close you’re standing– his eyes slip towards your hands, noticing the water running down your forearms and dangerously close to the sleeves of your shirt.

Acting on reflex, mostly, the boy reaches towards your sleeves and gently tugs them up, the contact of your skin that he initiates and should realistically be prepared for making the tips of his fingers tingle, the action having you stop in your movements and glance up at him through your eyelashes– a sight he wishes he could engrave into the back of his eyelids so he could stare at it forever and always.

“Thank you,” you hum, voice barely louder than a whisper when he retracts away from you, taking his previous stance against the kitchen counter.

Eric hangs his head low for a second, clearing his throat to ease his own tension. Now is your turn to start up the conversation, a casual question falling off your lips as you get back to washing the last remains of dishes. “Yeri said you come here often?” 

The boy nods enthusiastically to your sentence. “We do. We started in freshman year, because Juyeon was going to this exchange program to Paris for a couple of months, so we threw him a goodbye party. Then he came back, so we threw a welcome back party here. And then we celebrated Younghoon hyung’s birthday here, and it kind of stuck, I guess? We go here at least once a year during summer.”

“That’s a nice tradition to have,” you sigh, turning the faucet off as you finish rinsing off the last dish– a big bowl that Sangyeon used to marinate the meat a few hours ago.

“It is,” Eric nods, smiling fondly at the sentiment. He reaches for the bowl and dries it with the now damp rag (there were a lot of dishes to dry, after all), and moves to put it back to its place under the sink. With your figure still in its previous spot, the boy puts away the towel onto the kitchen counter and gently grabs your waist with his free hand, moving you away a few inches to the left. He crouches and opens the cabinet under the sink and puts the bowl into the pyramid of other ones, straightening his back when he goes back into a standing position, catching you staring at him from above, watching his every move. Your body is leaning against the counter, having Eric mirror your stance only a few inches away from you before speaking up again. 

“You’re welcome to join us when we come back next time.”

The time reads 3AM– or at least that’s what his circadian rhythm tells him, because he doesn't bother to check as he twists and turns in the bed, too hot and too alert to fall asleep– when Eric decides to walk down the steep stairs and try to get some fresh air. The cabin is hot inside, but he still takes his lost button-up that he had thrown over one of the kitchen chairs and puts it on before he makes his way outside, knowing that the forest will make his bones get cold with the crisp breeze. 

He opens the door and moves to sit on the little patio– the silence of outside is overwhelming even after the cabin has quieted down and everyone has gone to sleep (each one on a different level of tipsy ranging from completely chill Sangyeon to doesn’t know where he is Sunwoo– with Eric somewhere in the middle of the spectrum). His legs drag a little tiredly as he scans his surroundings– god forbid there’s a bear out waiting for him– when the sight of a figure sitting on the floor takes him by surprise, their head already turned to him after hearing the sound of the door opening. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks as he walks over to you, noticing your frame dressed in a tank top and sweatpants, hinting that you at least tried to get some sleep before coming out here, just like he has.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you shrug, confirming his suspicions.

“Same here,” the man sighs, “mind if I sit with you?”

“You’re welcome to join me,” you smile at him, patting the floor next to you and watching as Eric crouches down before taking a seat on the wood, ignoring the sunbeds and old rattan chairs situated all over the patio. (If you’re on the floor, he’s on the floor– it’s as simple as that.)

You’re holding a lollipop in between your fingers, your other hand occupied with a half-empty bottle of tequila that was previously passed around the circle at the bonfire. Eric raises his brows at the sight, having you shamefully avert your gaze from him.

“I thought it would be a waste to not finish this,” you say, snickering, “and I also… kind of hoped that it would put me to sleep…”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures?” 

“I guess you could say that,” you laugh. Taking a sip from the bottle, you gulp the alcohol down before putting the lollipop inside of your mouth, sucking on it and licking your lips after. This is not the way you’re supposed to drink tequila, but Eric figures that gathering salt and a lime would be too much work anyways.

“Are you really using that lollipop as a chaser?” he giggles, making you hum.

“Yeah,” you stare at him, a grin overtaking your features, “this girl taught me to do that at a party last year. It’s not as good as literally anything else, but it gets the job done. Wanna try?” you ask, offering him the sweetness on the stick and the bottle.

The truth is, you were only a bit tipsy when the group slowly started to scatter into their beds. Eric didn’t drink as much either– only enough to make him laugh at everything that was said and make his staring at you twice as obvious as it was before– so he thinks he can take some more. As you said, it would be a shame if the bottle went to waste– and also, something about the idea of drinking with you alone on the patio was making his hopeless heart hammer against his chest in dangerous measures.

“Sure,” he agrees, taking the bottle first. The boy takes a sip, feeling the alcohol burn down his throat, and when he moves the dark brown glass away from his lips, he is met with the image of you leaning closer to him, offering him the lollipop. His hand instinctively grabs the plastic stick, thinking you’re letting go of it, when he’s met with the feeling of your flesh under his fingertips. You put the lollipop against his lips, making him open up on instinct and suck on the strawberry flavored candy, a million different sensations (all unrelated to the alcohol) swimming through his brain– you’re so close, you smell so good, he’s holding your hand, he’s sucking on the lollipop you previously had in between your lips and it’s driving him crazy– before you take the candy out from between his lips and put it back into your mouth, tongue swirling around the sweet ball. 

The lollipop had an aftertaste of tequila on it, but it was enough to chase down the faint bitterness– Eric finds himself wanting to taste more of the sweet strawberry, but foolishly desiring to get the sensation off your lips instead. His eyes stay locked with yours throughout the whole exchange, sparks flying in between the two of you even though the bonfire has long gone out, his fingers lazily dropping from the candy.

“How was it?” you ask, voice barely louder than a whisper– goosebumps appearing all over Eric’s skin when he swears your eyes flicker to his lips for a split second. 

“Good,” he admits. It’s silly how he feels so breathless at the action.

The sound of the wind playing with the leaves of the forest is the only thing accompanying you two. It’s as if you two were thinking of the same thing when you pull out the lollipop out of your mouth and offer it back to Eric, watching with utmost interest as the boy leans closer to capture it in between his lips, never breaking eye contact. The action feels a little too electrifying to him, a little too intimate, but he can't stop– can't even imagine wanting to.

Taking a sip of the tequila, but not chasing it down with the candy, you speak up again, lazy eyes practically glued to him. “This would be a perfect moment for a kiss…” you mumble, licking your bottom lip for a split second before biting down on it.

“Are you flirting with me?” Eric foolishly asks, tone of voice a bit weak, a little unsure, the candy still in his mouth, making his words come out a little jambled.

“Mhm,” you nod, grinning to yourself– Eric wonders how much of your behavior and how much of his raging heartbeat is due to the effect of alcohol in both of your veins.

His fingers pull at yours as he takes the candy out of his mouth, voice dropping as he answers you. “Then we probably shouldn’t waste the moment.”

Even though the intentions are clear, the boy can’t bring himself to make the first move– he’s completely enchanted with your presence, staring at you with tension in his shoulders and eyes trained onto your face, watching and examining it for any shift or change. Focused on the way you move, he thinks you must have realized you were going to have to be the one to take the first step– your lazily smile before you lean closer, impossibly close– making Eric’s eyes flutter shut with anticipation, your breath fanning his face making goosebumps appear all over his body.

When your lips finally touch his, he feels like he’s being kissed for the first time again, with the amount of fuzziness in his stomach and buzzing in his ears. He regains his composure quite quickly, though, as he positions his head in a way that makes you two even closer to each other, lips pressing firmer against yours now. His hand instinctively reaches out to hold your jaw, fingertips glazing the soft skin under them, your lips retracting only to go in for more. 

Blindly placing the bottle onto the floor next to your bodies, you peck his lips and sigh into the kiss. “Damn, you’re good at this…”

“We’re only getting started,” he muses, making you chuckle. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm,” he nods, watching as you once again lean in and suck on his upper lip, making his eyes flutter close again. A weight appears over him as you shift in your place and move to straddle his lap, your hand moving to cup his cheek and tilt him upwards, everything about the kisses getting more hurried– less gentle, less hesitant– when you tug on his bottom lip with your teeth and grant your tongue entry into his mouth.

Sweetness mixes in between you, your hands moving around his neck, heavy breaths shared across the patio. Eric feels like he’s levitating, his body having an out of body experience, yet being awfully present– every little shift pushing him to overdrive, the slightest touch making his skin burn and heart drum against his ribcage.

You shift in his lap, making him huff under the pressure, his lips trailing wet kisses down the side of your neck. Teeth glazing the jointure of your shoulder, kitten licking the place and sucking in a bruise that will eventually be visible to everyone when you two wake up in the morning, Eric feels your hands tugging down the sleeves of his shirt, fingers feeling up his biceps. The action makes him chuckle into your neck, but the smile fades quickly as he feels your nails scratching gently at his flaming skin.

“Take this off,” you mutter, and Eric finds it endearing– helping you take him out of the button-up, sitting under you in just a white tank top and black basketball shorts. 

“Why?” 

“Your arms looked good in this,” you hiss before you hide your face into his neck, leaning down to give him your fair share of kisses and love bites, having the male teasingly joke as his hands run up under your tank top, painfully aware of the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra anymore.

He moves his head to the side to give you more access before speaking out, tone of voice husky and coated in lust. “What if I get cold now?” 

“Then I’m more than happy to move this to your room,” you purr into his ear.

Eric sighs, fingers playing with the hem of your top before he lets his palms drift towards your exposed stomach, roaming across naked skin. Goosebumps appear all over your body at the action, making the boy victoriously grin. “It looks like you’re the one that's cold, though, babydoll.”

Rolling your eyes at the male, you shut him up by latching yourself onto his lips before you speak against his mouth. “I’ll take that as an invitation, then?”

“Wake up Eric! The girls are leaving, you should at least go say goodbye!” Sangyeon roars into the boy's room, making the male turn over in the bed and huff out in frustration. He drags his arm up to shield his eyes from the sunlight hitting his face, the intention of just rolling over and sleeping more written very clearly in his face.

“Come on man, we’re leaving in an hour too, so you should go send them off and then pack your shit so we can load the cars,” Sangyeon says when he gets no reaction from the youngest. It’s to no use, apparently, and so as the oldest and most observant out of the group, Sangyeon decides to use physical force– he knows Eric would hate to have you go without saying goodbye. He’s not stupid. Or blind. 

A strong hold on his calves drags Eric out of the bed and makes his half-naked body fall to the floor, a yelp coming out of his throat finally making Eric’s body fully alert and awake. 

“Yo! What the fuck–”

“Put a shirt on and go say goodbye to Y/N before she goes, would you, sleeping beauty?” Sangyeon huffs before rolling his eyes at his younger friend, escaping the room and shutting the door close after himself with a loud thud (to add more effect to the scolding, Eric thinks).

The mention of your name has Eric quickly scrambling out of the bed. His heart hammers at the adrenaline rush, pulling a clean shirt out of his bag and dragging it over his head, the basketball shorts from yesterday’s night found on the floor being pulled over his lower frame in approximately 0.5 seconds. Eric takes the stairs 3 at a time– with how steep they are, he questions how exactly does he not trip and break his spine on his way down– and puts on a pair of slippers he finds at the door (that are not his, or his size, for the matter, making his heels comically stick out from the back). 

Without checking his appearance in the mirror anywhere, he swings the door open and walks out of the cabin, watching as the group settles in a half-circle around your car, Yeri loading the trunk with her duffle bag before she closes it shut and smiles at her boyfriend Juyeon on the side. Eric joins the crowd, clearing his throat when his eyes fall onto your figure, the sight in front of him freezing him in his spot.

You’re standing there, in your jean shorts from the day before, an oversized white button-up enveloping your frame. A clueless stranger might not tell the difference, but he does– you put the shirt onto your bare skin and buttoned it just enough to reveal a bit of your cleavage– and it’s so similar to the outfit you had on yesterday, just with one difference. 

You’re wearing Eric’s shirt. You’re wearing his shirt and your neck is scattered with red and purple-ish bruises, and no, Eric wasn’t that drunk and he remembers everything, but the events of last night suddenly play out right in front of his eyes like a movie, still nailing him to his spot and wiping out all of his vocabulary.

The boy feels hot in his cheeks as he watches you and your best friend pay your goodbyes to the rest of the boys, the men pulling you into side-hugs and fist bumps, shared ‘It was nice meeting you’s and ‘You should come by next time too’s resonating through the place. Soon enough, you reach the end of the make-shift half circle and lock your eyes with Eric, a playful smile softly appearing on your face.

“It was nice meeting you, Eric,” you hum, “I had fun,” you note, shooting him a knowing look.

“Me too,” he nods, nervously chewing on his bottom lip. He doesn’t know where the confidence of last night went, but he suddenly feels unarmed and lost. What does one do now?

The sight of you in his shirt makes him feel like his biggest (wet) dream has come true– call him cheesy, but it also wakes up a sense of déja vu in him from the day before– you with sunlight in your eyes, hair messed up in a claw clip. He feels like he just fell in love at first sight again. Is that even possible?

It’s good you have a sense in you that makes you take the initiative and be in charge when you see him faltering. A giggle cuts out of your throat as you lean in and hug the boy around his neck, your lips dangerously close to his ear as you speak in a hushed whisper, not wanting to be heard by the men around you.

“I stole your shirt from you, by the way. You should text me if you want it back, so we can meet up, or something,” you mouth, lips gently glazing the sensitive skin of Eric’s ear, and god does he feel like he's going to suffocate from the lack of oxygen this causes in his lungs.

“You look amazing in my clothes, so I won’t ask for it back,” Eric hums, “but I’ll text you just in case you ever wanna bless my eyes with the sight again.”

“Deal. I’ll make Juyeon text me your number,” you say before you pull away from him, shooting him a wink that almost has his knees buckling like a school boy in love for the first time.

You walk backwards and wave at the group, sending Eric one last look before you join the passenger’s side and close the car door behind you, the sound of Yeri starting the engine resonating through the quiet forest. The men wave at you until the Toyota disappears out of sight, only scattering inside when it does to gather their things and load up their cars as well.

Eric is woken up from his trance by a teasing whistle coming out of Sunwoo’s mouth and a father-like slap to his back from Sangyeon.

He wonders if he’s truly being so obvious. (He's unaware of the fact that you two had very visible matching love bites on your necks. It doesn’t take much effort to put two and two together– don't tell him that, though.)

Still, Eric shrugs and goes inside with a different kind of pep to his step. 

Eric walks through the quad, his headphones blasting music into his ears as he scrolls through his phone. He raises an eyebrow when he gets a notification, and he swipes down, letting out a light chuckle when he reads who it’s from.

sunwoo: hey stupid whore <3

hyunjun: i have a name

sunwoo: bold of you to assume i’m referring to you

eric: bruh... bitches blowing up my phone 

sunwoo: ah yes, there’s the stupid whore

hyunjun: LMAO

Eric rolls his eyes at the message, moving to type out a response when he hears someone call his name through his headphones. Looking up from his phone, he watches as that familiar head of blonde hair comes running down the path and towards him. He chuckles when she immediately jumps into his arms in greeting, making sure she’s secure before setting her back down onto her feet. 

“Someone’s excited to see me.” Eric teases, and she shrugs her shoulders while trying to hide her smile. 

“Just happy to see the guy I like.” Daeun tells him, the smile finally appearing as she lets her arms fall back to her sides. He lets out a grin and pats the top of her head, before pulling out his phone to check the messages he missed in the groupchat.

sunwoo: you busy tonight ? i want kbbq

hyunjun: never busy for food

especially kbbq during the winter <333

sunwoo: where’d eric go

hyunjun: stupid whore*

sunwoo: oh right

where’d stupid whore go 

hyunjun: prolly on his way to class

he’ll just respond later

Eric snorts and sends a quick reply telling them he’s down for kbbq, before turning to Daeun to point in the direction of the cafeteria. “You wanna get food? I have some downtime before my next class.” 

She nods her head excitedly at the idea, “Yes! I’m actually super hungry right now.” 

“You didn’t eat breakfast?” Eric asks with a chuckle, and she scoffs at the mention of the early morning meal. She raises her hands up for emphasis on what she’s about to say, making the redhead raise an eyebrow. “Eric, I’m a third year university student. You really think I eat breakfast?” 

He grins at that, nodding his head in respect as he turns away to mutter, “That’s valid.” 

As Daeun begins to talk about how her day has been so far, Eric listens quietly as he gazes at their surroundings. He blinks when he sees someone bump into another person, and he clenches his fist at his side when he immediately recognizes them. 

You’re giving the person who bumped into you a small smile as they apologize, even waving your hands at them to signal that it’s okay. Your eyes are warm as you say your goodbyes to them, and he feels his heart stop when you suddenly glance over in his direction, and accidentally lock eyes with him. 

The warmth that was in your eyes almost immediately disappears, now being replaced by an emotion that’s indecipherable to him as he refuses to look away. The world around the two of you seems to come to a slow, the sound of his heartbeat beginning to pick up in his ears when he finds that you don’t turn away either. 

The world returns back to normal when someone else comes into view, and Eric bites the inside of his cheek when he recognizes who they are. He watches in silence as you turn your head to your boyfriend, a bright smile taking over your features when you lock eyes with Younghoon. You immediately wrap your arms around him in greeting, and Eric feels his heart pang when Younghoon kisses the top of your head in return. 

He turns away from the sight of you and your boyfriend, being reminded of the times where he was once in Younghoon’s place. 

“Yo! Where are you going? Don’t you want to go to karaoke with Hyunjun and I?” Sunwoo calls out when Eric starts rushing down the steps of their building. The brunette at the time glances back at his two friends, giving them a big grin, “Yn gets out of class in five minutes, I want to be there to greet them!” 

Hyunjun chuckles at his friend, while Sunwoo laughs and waves him away. “Simp! Make sure to say hi for us!” 

Eric just holds up a thumbs up towards them, not turning around to see their reaction as he runs in the direction of the Chemistry building. He feels giddy at the idea of your reaction when you see him. Will you look surprised? Happy? Will you smile and give him a hug? 

The possibilities are endless.

Eric brushes past people through the quad, making sure to apologize if he accidentally bumps into them on his journey to you. 

Adjusting the strap on his backpack, he lets out a breath of relief when the Chemistry building comes into view, and he pushes himself to run a bit faster. When he finally makes it to the bottom of the steps, he immediately checks the time on his phone, and he grins when he sees that he made it with a minute to spare. 

The sound of the doors being pushed open from above gathers his attention, and he glances up to see the beginning of the rush of students leaving the building. He waits expectantly, gazing at every person’s face until he finally notices the top of your head. 

He watches as you look up from the steps, mid-way through putting in one of your airpods when you lock eyes with him. His heart stutters within his chest when your face visibly brightens, your eyes beginning to sparkle like they hold the whole galaxy in them, and your smile.

God, your smile.

“Eric!” You cheer in greeting, rushing down the steps and practically leaping into your boyfriend’s arms. He lets out a laugh at your excitement and stumbles back a bit from the impact, making sure to wrap his arms around your waist tightly as he takes a deep inhale of your comforting scent. 

You pull away with a bright smile on your face, a visual so beautiful that Eric feels warmth flood his face from the sight alone. 

“What are you doing here? I thought your class ended at the same time as mine.” You ask, and the brunette just shrugs his shoulders to try and act all nonchalant. “We ended a few minutes early, so I wanted to come and surprise you.” 

You giggle and nod your head, wrapping an arm around Eric’s waist as he places his arm over your shoulders. You point in the direction of another building, “Want to walk me to my next class?” 

“Of course I do.” Eric answers without any hesitation, and you grin warmly at this. The two of you walk in a comfortable silence in the direction of your next class, and the blonde takes this moment to glance at you, seeing the small smile still playing on your lips from earlier. 

He giggles, “Are you really that happy to see me?” 

“Of course! Who wouldn’t be happy to see their lovely boyfriend waiting for them to get out of class?” 

Eric feels his heart warm at this, and his brain quickly starts to think of ways he can come pick you up from your classes throughout the week if it truly makes you this happy. 

“Are you happy to see me?” You ask, looking at your boyfriend with an expectant look in your eyes as you await his answer. He brings the two of you to a stop, and turns so that he’s facing you. He reaches out and gently cups your face, looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes as he responds with a shy smile, 

“I’m always happy to see the love of my life.”

“Eric!” The redhead quickly snaps out of the memory, turning to find Daeun looking at him with an amused expression on her face. She points towards the cafeteria while lightly laughing, “I’ve been trying to tell you that we made it for like, a minute now.” 

“Oh, sorry.” Eric says with a strained smile, one that she fails to notice as she begins to bring them towards the cafeteria again. “It’s okay, I’m just curious as to what you were thinking about that made you space out like that.” 

And Eric just lets out a short chuckle, glancing at the blonde as he quietly replies, 

“Just remembered something, doesn’t matter anymore though.” 

“Grilled meat is a gift from the Gods.” Sunwoo states after he finishes chewing on some brisket. Hyunjun nods his head in agreement as he flips some of the meat, “If I was religious, I’d pray to the Gods and thank them for this delicacy.”

Eric chuckles at their conversation, taking a piece of brisket and dipping it into the sesame oil. Sunwoo looks up at the redhead, noticing that he’s been more quiet than usual.

“Eric, are you okay?” Sunwoo asks as he takes a sip of soju, and Eric blinks at the sudden question. He nods his head with a quiet laugh, “Yeah, why?” 

“You just haven’t been as loud as you usually are.” Sunwoo says, pouring Eric some of the alcohol before picking up a piece of kimchi. He rolls his eyes at the statement, “You’re always complaining about how loud I get, but now I’m thinking that you actually like how noisy I am.”

“Personally, not getting kicked out of this restaurant because of you being too loud is quite nice–”

“Hyunjun.”

“What? We always get kicked out cause of Eric.”

“Don’t act like you don’t play into Eric’s shenanigans after only two shots.” Sunwoo points out, making the redhead chuckle and Hyunjun laugh as well. “Alright, alright. You got me.” 

Eric’s about to retell the story of when Hyunjun danced on the tables after two shots when his phone suddenly dings, and he glances down to see a new message from Daeun. Hyunjun notices the notification from his seat, and he moves to place the onion onto the grill as he asks, “How are you and Daeun?”

Sunwoo watches as Eric turns rigid at the question, and he shares a knowing glance with Hyunjun, before turning back towards the redhead. Eric gives the two a small smile, “We’re alright. We’ve only been on like, four dates? I think?” 

“You think?” Sunwoo chuckles, and Eric nods his head. “Daeun’s really sweet.” 

“And?” Hyunjun presses, placing some pieces of pork belly onto the grill. Eric bites his bottom lip at the question and takes a sip of soju, before beginning to create a lettuce wrap. “She’s nice.” 

Sunwoo watches as Eric quickly shoves the wrap into his mouth after he finishes making it, and he lets out a breath. 

He’s concerned for his friend. Sunwoo and Hyunjun have been concerned from the moment you and Eric broke up. It was like they witnessed the five stages of grief right before their eyes. They watched the redhead go from getting wasted every night, to dying his hair, to getting rid of all traces of you in his apartment, to doing everything that he couldn’t do while the two of you were dating, and to this stage. 

Dating.

Daeun’s the fifth person Eric’s been on a date with since the two of you broke up six months ago, and she’s also the only one who’s made it to a fourth date. 

“Sweet and nice are synonyms.” Hyunjun points out as he cuts up the pork belly. Eric stays quiet at this, knowing that his friends can tell that he’s obviously distracted. He lowers his head towards the table, before reaching out towards his glass of soju and downing it all in one go. 

Sunwoo’s eyes widen at the sudden action, “Eric!” 

“Can we just… not talk about my love life tonight?” Eric asks after placing the empty glass down, looking up towards Hyunjun and Sunwoo to see their expressions. The black haired beauty just looks at Eric for a moment, before patting his back and continuing to grill the meat without question.

While Sunwoo stares at Eric in silence, an indecipherable look in his eyes as the concern he feels heightens a bit. Pressing his lips into a thin line, he lets out a strained smile and nods his head at his friend. 

“Yeah, we can talk about something else.”

“Eric Sohn!” You exclaim when he belly flops onto your bed as soon as he steps into your room. Your newly dyed blonde boyfriend rolls over onto his back and flashes you that pretty smile of his, “Yes, my love?” 

You raise an eyebrow at him, “I told you no outside clothes on my bed.” 

Eric blinks, before glancing down at his jeans and the grey hoodie he wore to his classes. Biting the inside of his cheek, he looks up at you with a slightly guilty expression on his face. You sigh and reach out to drag him off your bed, but you fail to realize that he was expecting this.

He takes hold of your hand and pulls you on top of him, eliciting a squeak from you when you land. You push yourself up onto your elbows and glare down at him, but this doesn’t affect him at all, considering the happy smile on his face as he wraps his arms around your waist. 

“What are you doing?” You ask with a blank expression, and Eric just pinches your sides in response, making you slap his shoulder. He chuckles at your reaction, and leans up to peck your lips, but you raise your hand and cover his mouth. 

“Eric.” 

“I’m trying to kiss my beautiful significant other, but they’re not letting me.” Eric answers, voice muffled by your hand. He watches as the corner of your lips quirks upward, and he grins at your resolve slowly melting away. 

He reaches up and grasps your wrist, moving your hand away so that you can see his smile. You press your lips into a thin line when he puckers his lips, closing his eyes as he waits for you to grant him his kiss. 

“Come on, you know you want to.” Eric says through his puckered lips, biting back a laugh when he hears you snort. His grip on your waist tightens a bit when he feels you lean in, and his heart thrums against his chest as he waits. 

He blinks his eyes open when you suddenly turn away and he feels your lips against his ear as you whisper, 

“You can get a kiss when you get your outside clothes off of my bed.” 

The sound of your bedroom door opening slowly wakes you up from your dream, and your eyebrows furrow as you glance over at the entrance of your room to see Younghoon peeking his head in with a shy smile.

“Younghoon.” You murmur sleepily, and he waves at you as he places his bag down beside your desk. He pads over to your bedside and presses a kiss to the top of your head, “Sorry, did I wake you?” 

You shake your head even though him opening the door was the reason that you woke up, but you wouldn’t ever want Younghoon to feel guilty. He grins happily at this, gently brushing away the hairs that fell over your face while you napped. 

“Are you going to join me?” You ask in a quiet voice, and he nods his head while looking into your tired eyes. “I’ll join you in a second, I just need to change into the clothes I brought.” 

Your gaze trails over to his bag that’s laying by your door, seeing the sleeve of his sweatshirt poking out. Glancing back at your boyfriend, you give him a small smile, “Ah, okay.” 

He kisses your forehead one more time, before turning and walking over to his bag. You watch in silence as he takes out his clothes and leaves your bedroom, the sound of the bathroom light being switched on heard from a distance. 

You’re painfully reminded of the dream that you had as you roll over onto your back, staring up at your white ceiling. Biting your bottom lip, you let out a breath as you close your eyes, trying to rid yourself of the memory.

But you’re left with guilt as the visual of Eric’s mischievous eyes while he lays in your bed with his outside clothes appears instead.

“This is our fifth date, you know?” Eric looks up from the table to see Daeun looking at him with a small smile, leaning forward to take a sip of her boba as she stares at him with hopeful eyes. He nods his head with a strained grin, picking up his drink and sipping some boba as well. 

As he chews on the tapioca pearls, he turns and glances out the window of the boba shop, seeing the bright lights coming from the arcade. Biting the inside of his cheek, he places the cup down on the table and turns back towards the blonde. 

“Do you want to go to the arcade?” Eric asks, and she turns to look at the arcade, before glancing back at him with an excited smile. “Only if we can play dance dance revolution.” 

Eric snorts and stands up from the table, holding out his hand for Daeun to take, “I would be a fool to not play dance dance revolution when we’re at the arcade.” 

The blonde looks down at his hand, and he watches as a faint blush forms over her cheeks at the gesture. She reaches out and grasps his hand, grabbing her cup of boba as he helps her stand up from the table. Grinning, he leads her out of the boba shop and towards the arcade, feeling her squeeze his hand happily.

He fails to ignore the fact that her hand is cold, matching his own. 

“Should we go straight to dance dance revolution, or do you wanna play some other games first?” Eric asks after he receives the card that holds all their credits. Slipping his debit card back into his wallet, he turns to Daeun to see her glancing around while thinking. 

“Let’s play dance dance revolution first.” She says with a grin, and the redhead nods his head in agreement. She pulls the two of them in the direction of the game machines, and Eric chuckles with the knowledge that this is definitely not her first time going here.

“Are you ready to get your ass kicked?” Daeun asks once they arrive at the machine, and the redhead releases her hand to crack his knuckles, “I don’t know, I feel like I should be asking you that question.” 

She smirks and gets up onto the machine, swiping the card on both machines as Eric steps onto it. She pockets the game card and turns to the pretty boy, “You can choose what song we dance to.” 

“Wow, someone’s confident.” Eric teases, and the blonde shrugs her shoulders. “Just waiting for you to believe that I’m actually a God at dance dance revolution.” 

“We’ll see about that.” He replies, a playful grin on his face as he chooses one of the harder songs to dance to, Egoism. He glances at Daeun to see her reaction, only to raise an eyebrow when he sees the calm expression on her face.

Maybe even a bit of excitement laced in as well.

“You ready to get your ass kicked?” Daeun asks with a confident smile, and Eric just shakes his head with a quiet chuckle. He rests his hands on the handle behind him, watching the screen as the song starts to play. 

Once the arrows begin to show up, he quickly realizes that he completely forgot how difficult this song is to play. Stomping his foot on each arrow, he spares a glance towards Daeun, and sees her as the epitome of ease as she lightly dances to the song. 

“You having trouble?” He hears her ask when he almost misses a key, and he rolls his eyes teasingly as he shoots her a look. “Eyes on your own screen, hotshot.”

Daeun lets out a laugh at this, and he blinks at the sight. Biting the inside of his cheek, he turns back towards the screen to try and ignore the memory that’s playing behind his eyes.

“Eric, you already know that I’m terrible at this game.” You say with a laugh as the blonde swipes the card through both machines. He just turns to you with a smile, reaching out and grasping your hand to pull you up onto the arrows. 

“Which is why this is a good game for us to play, so that I can win and you can lose.” Eric tells you, and you scoff at this. He squeezes your warm hand with his cold one, “It’s only fair since you always make me play air hockey when you know that I’m bad.”

Pressing your lips into a thin line, you sigh in defeat and gesture towards the game. “Alright, choose a song.” 

He grins and turns towards the screen, scrolling through until he finds the song he wanted to dance to with you. After making his selection, he steps back and grasps onto the handle behind him, giving you a smile as you bite your bottom lip in anticipation. 

“You ready?” Eric asks when the first notes of the song plays through the speakers, and you just shake your head with a furrow beginning to form between your eyebrows. He giggles at your expression, before turning towards the screen once the arrows start to show. 

It’s only a few seconds into the song and he can already hear you struggling, and he bites back a laugh when you start cursing out the game moments later.

“WAH! Why is it going so fast?!” You exclaim, and Eric glances at you to see your desperate attempts at trying to stomp on the arrows at the right time. He’s unable to hold back his laugh this time, making you turn to see him smiling widely as he starts to focus on the game again. 

He’s caught off guard when your arms suddenly wrap around him, messing him up in the game as he laughs at your sudden intrusion. You quickly pull him down into a headlock, “You think my suffering is funny?” 

“Yn! The game!” Eric says through his laughter, and you shake your head. 

“No more dance dance revolution!” You tell him, letting out a laugh when he makes an attempt to keep stomping on the arrows. He giggles at the sound, glancing up to see the bright smile on your face as you continue to try and sabotage him. 

“Eric! I thought you were good at this game!” He blinks out of the memory when he hears Daeun’s voice, and he curses to himself when he realizes he zoned out in the middle of the song. He quickly makes an attempt to get back on track, but the memory of that day prevents him from doing so.

Once the song ends, and it’s clear that Daeun beat him by a landslide, the blonde walks up to his side with a happy smile on her face.

“See? Told you that I’d win. I am just too good at dance dance revolution.” She tells him cockily, and Eric lets out a strained chuckle as he glances around the arcade for another game to play.

“I thought you were doing well in the beginning, though. What happened?” Daeun asks as he starts leading the way towards the racing games, and the redhead doesn’t respond. He bites his bottom lip when he remembers the bright smile that was on your face that day, and he feels his heart pang at the fact that he’ll never be able to see it directed towards him again.

“You were distracted, just like you are now.” Daeun says in a soft voice, reaching out and grasping Eric’s hand. He stops at the physical contact, finally turning to glance at the blonde who’s looking at him with a bit of concern. He lets out an awkward laugh, reaching up and rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “Sorry, I was thinking about something. What were you saying?” 

“You’re distracted, Eric.” Daeun repeats once they arrive at the racing games, and he blinks at her slowly. Turning away, he just nods his head as he climbs into the driver’s seat, removing his hand from her grasp while he mutters, “Yeah.”

Daeun stands there for a moment, staring at the back of Eric’s head as she tries to ignore the feeling of her empty hand. Clenching her fist, she moves and sits in the driver’s seat beside him, resting her hands on the steering wheel as she turns to him with a small smile, “You ready to play?” 

And Eric can only nod quietly, obviously distracted as he swipes the game card in the slot. 

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“How’s your relationship with Younghoon going?” You look up to see Hyunjae looking at you with an inquisitive expression, and you give him a grin as you take the sliced apple from his plate and pop it into your mouth. “It’s going alright, it’s close to our three months.” 

Hyunjae nods his head at your response, taking a sip of water while he watches you quietly. 

You and Hyunjae have been close friends since elementary, with the two of you watching each other grow over the years. He was the one who had actually introduced you to Eric in your guys’ first year of university, deciding to play cupid due to the feeling that you both would get along. 

He never expected for your relationship to end the way that it did.

“You like him a lot?” Hyunjae asks, and you nod your head without looking up at your friend. Scrolling through your phone, you can feel the brunette’s eyes on you as you avoid eye contact, and you let out a breath when the tension becomes too much for you. Putting your phone down, you finally lift your head and look at Hyunjae, “Yes. I like Younghoon a lot.” 

“Someone’s snappy today.” Hyunjae points out as he takes a bite of an apple slice, and you roll your eyes at this. “You ask me this question every time we meet. How do you expect me to not be annoyed by now?” 

“Because as your childhood friend, you love me a lot.” He answers confidently, only for his eyes to widen when you rub the back of your neck and look around at anything but him.

“You love me… right?” 

“Wow, I think there’s a breeze in here.” You mutter, and Hyunjae gently kicks your shin underneath the kitchen table, eliciting a laugh from you when you finally turn back towards him. Reaching out across the table, you pat his head fondly, “Yes, I love you very much.”

He grins when you retract your hand, and you smile back at him. He picks up another apple slice, biting into it as you pick up your phone to scroll through your feed once again. Biting the inside of his cheek, he decides to ask one more question. 

“Do you see you and Younghoon having a future together?” 

You physically pause, glancing up to see Hyunjae looking at you with that same inquisitive expression on his face. Except this time, you notice an indecipherable emotion in his gaze, a look that you can’t make out as he stares at you. 

Biting the inside of your cheek, you set your phone down, “Why do you ask?” 

“You know exactly why.” Hyunjae answers with ease, and you clench your jaw. 

You do know why. You know exactly why Hyunjae is asking you this, but you don’t want to acknowledge it. You don’t want to look back on the past, not now, and not ever, if you’re being honest. 

Turning away, you glance out the window of his apartment, “We are not talking about this right now, Hyunjae.”

“Then when will we?” He asks, and you just shake your head. Hyunjae lets out a sigh and leans, patting the corner of the table closest to you to try and get your attention, “Yn, we have to talk about it–”

“No!” You exclaim as you stand up from the table, turning to Hyunjae with wide eyes. He’s just staring up at you with genuine worry etched across his features, and you clench your fist at your side. 

“We will not talk about it, not now, and not ever. Younghoon and I are doing fine, there’s no reason for me to be thinking about a possible future when we’ve only been dating for less than three months!” 

Silence fills the room after your outburst, and you blink your eyes as you turn away from him. Bending down, you pick up your bag and throw it over your shoulder, “I’m going back to my apartment, bye Hyunjae.”

You hurry over towards the door and slip on your sneakers. Right as you’re about to rest your hand on the door handle, the soft call of your name has you stopping in your tracks. Slowly, you turn back to find Hyunjae standing by the kitchen table, looking at you with a sad smile on his face. 

“You told me you saw a future with Eric when the two of you had only been dating for three months.” 

You lower your gaze towards the floor, remembering the day you had confessed to the brunette that you really wanted things to work out with Eric. You would’ve thought that Hyunjae would’ve forgotten about such a thing, but you underestimated him. 

Raising your hand up to gently scratch at your cheek, you pause when you feel the wetness to your skin. Blinking, you reach up and wipe at your face with the back of your hands, only to realize that you’ve been crying this whole time. 

Quietly cursing to yourself, you rest your hand on the doorknob once again and turn towards Hyunjae one last time, 

“I may have seen a future with him, but he didn’t want one with me.” 

Eric lays on the floor of Sunwoo’s room, tossing up a baseball and catching it as he waits for Hyunjun to come back with some snacks. Sunwoo spins his chair around to check on his friend, just to snort when Eric completely misses the ball and it falls on his nose. 

“Shit.” Eric mutters to himself as he sits up from the floor, rubbing at the bridge of his nose in hopes that it won’t bruise. Sunwoo chuckles quietly to himself, watching as the redhead even goes so far as to roll the baseball to the other side of his bedroom. 

“You good?” Sunwoo asks, pointing to his own nose when Eric turns to glance at him. He lets out a quiet chuckle, squeezing the bridge of his nose as he responds, “A bit. I just hope it doesn’t bruise cause it’ll look like I got in a fight.” 

“I highly doubt that.” Sunwoo tells him, and Eric purses his lips. “But what if they did? Does it look like I won?” 

Sunwoo blinks at Eric for the question, before breaking out into a loud fit of laughter that has him bending over and punching his desk. Eric squints at his best friend, wondering what’s funny about the question as Sunwoo practically loses his mind. 

“What’s so funny about that question?” Eric asks as he reaches out to slap his peach haired friend’s leg, watching as he makes an attempt to calm himself down. He rolls his eyes when Sunwoo goes as far as wiping away a tear that managed to escape his eye from his laughter. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just.” Sunwoo begins, only to slap a hand over his mouth as another round of laughter threatens to break through. Eric sits on the floor, waiting patiently for his answer while he tilts his head at him. “It’s just so funny to think about you winning a fight.” 

“AYO?! I have won a fight before!” 

“Pft, no you haven’t.” A third voice pops into the room, making the two glance towards the door to see Hyunjun walking in with snacks he stole from Sunwoo’s pantry. 

“While I love you for bringing us snacks, what the fuck do you mean I haven’t won a fight before?”

“Don’t you remember that one guy who was flirting with yn at the frat party in your freshman year and you immediately tried to swing at him?” Sunwoo asks, red in the face from how hard he was laughing moments prior. Eric bites his bottom lip at the memory, before laying back onto the floor again as he’s flooded with embarrassment. 

“Okay, but I was really scrawny back then.” 

“And you think you can beat him now?” Hyunjun jokes, and Eric tries to inconspicuously feel his biceps before answering. Sunwoo snorts at the sight and turns back towards his pc, attempting to finish writing his essay as his two friends talk behind him. 

“How was your date with Daeun? Didn’t you guys go to the arcade?” Hyunjun asks as he throws a piece of popcorn towards the redhead, cheering when Eric manages to catch it in his mouth. He nods his head as he chews on the kernel, “Yeah, she was really passionate about dance dance revolution.” 

“Must’ve sucked for her to find out that you’re practically a God at that game.” Sunwoo chimes from his desk with a small laugh, and Hyunjun nods in agreement as the two remember how competitive Eric is when it comes to arcade games. 

Eric tilts his head to the side at the memory of that day, drinking some soda as he avoids eye contact with his friends. “Actually, she beat me.” 

The two fall silent at the news, with Sunwoo even turning around in his chair to look at Eric with a flabbergasted expression on his face. He points at the younger, “What song did you two dance to?”

Eric reaches up and rubs the back of his neck, glancing down at the floor as he quietly answers, “Egoism.”

Hyunjun blinks, before turning to Sunwoo to see the look on his face mirrored on the latter. The black haired beauty turns back to Eric, “Is she really that good at dance dance revolution?”

Eric nods his head, and Sunwoo gasps quietly at the easy answer. Bending down, he grabs a handful of popcorn and tosses a few pieces into his mouth. He lets out a breath, before glancing at Eric, “So you’ve finally met your match then, huh?” 

Hyunjun watches as an indecipherable emotion flashes past Eric’s eyes at Sunwoo’s choice of words, and he bites the inside of his cheek when Eric just shrugs his shoulders. The redhead moves to lay on his back again, staring up at the ceiling in silence as Sunwoo and Hyunjun exchange concerned glances. 

“Eric–”

“I… I keep…” Eric begins, and Sunwoo looks down at his friend, only for his jaw to drop slightly when he sees the tears welling up in his eyes. “Eric, what’s wrong?” 

“I keep seeing them.” He mutters, so quiet that it almost goes unheard by Sunwoo and Hyunjun. The black haired beauty frowns, “Seeing who?” 

Silence falls over the room, the question lingering in the air as the two wait for Eric’s answer. They watch as Eric just blinks up at the ceiling in an attempt to get the tears to go away. He fails though, because the tears escape from his eyes when he finally confesses,

“Yn. I keep seeing yn.” 

Sunwoo immediately gets up from his chair and kneels down beside the redhead, eyes laced with worry as he watches more tears trail down the side of Eric’s face. Biting the inside of his cheek, he rests a hand on Eric’s arm, “Eric, let’s go get some water–” 

“Everytime I look at Daeun, I can only see them. Everytime we do something, no matter what it is, I get glimpses of what we used to be. Daeun coming to greet me on campus? I see me surprising yn after class. Daeun being good at arcade games? I see yn being bad at them.” Eric cries, the sobs slowly beginning to pour out as more memories push past his eyes so that you’re the only thing he can think of. 

He raises his hands up to his face, “I can’t get them out of my head, but they’ve moved on. How could they move on? After almost four years together? Do they still think of me? Think of us?” 

Hyunjun’s eyes widen when Eric begins to hyperventilate, and he and Sunwoo try to help Eric sit up from the floor. The redhead sobs loudly into his hands, hiding his face from his friends as the feeling of heartbreak floods his chest. 

Sunwoo feels his eyes fill with tears as he reaches out and gently pulls Eric into his embrace. He pats his back as Eric cries loudly into his shoulder, this scenario being all too familiar for him. 

“Sunwoo.” Your voice rings out from the other end of the phone, and he bites his bottom lip as he grabs his jacket from the back of his door. “Is he there again?” 

He hears rustling on the other end, and he can only assume you’re nodding your head, “Yeah, can you come get him? I don’t want him to fall asleep out there.” 

“Yeah, I’m already on my way.” Sunwoo says once he steps out of his apartment and hurries towards the elevators. He doesn’t end the call right away, and his eyebrows furrow when he hears you sniffle. 

“Yn, are you really sure you–” 

“Thank you for coming to get him. Goodnight, Sunwoo.” You interrupt, and he blinks when you quickly end the call. Letting out a sigh, he pockets his phone and presses the main floor button of the elevator. 

It’s only 15 minutes later when he’s made it to your front door, finding Eric asleep on your step, a blanket draped over his shoulders. He can only assume that it’s from you, and he gently removes it from around the blonde, folding it nicely and setting it on the step. 

He gently pats Eric’s shoulder, “Eric, wake up. I’ll take you to my apartment.” 

The blonde’s eyes slowly open at the voice, feeling disoriented as he reaches up and rubs at his eyes. Sunwoo grasps Eric’s arm and throws it over his shoulder, helping him up from the step and bringing him in the direction of his home before his drunk friend can question anything.

“W-Where’s yn?” Eric slurs after the two cross the street, and Sunwoo just tightens his hold on Eric’s wrist as they keep walking. “S-Sunwoo, where’s yn?” 

“They’ll meet us at my apartment, okay?” Sunwoo lies, hoping that his answer will appease the drunk blonde. Frowning, Eric rips his arm out of Sunwoo’s grasp and almost immediately falls to the ground, “Liar.” 

“Eric, please.” Sunwoo begs as he bends down to try and help his friend up, only to freeze when he hears Eric sniffle. Biting the inside of his cheek, he tentatively rests a hand on his back, “Eric?”

“Why?” Eric mutters, tears falling from his eyes and onto the sidewalk below him. Through his drunken haze, all he can think about is the breakup and nothing else. “What happened to us?” 

“Eric, let’s go to my apartment.” Sunwoo tells him as he makes an attempt to help the blonde up again, only to stop when Eric’s shoulders begin to shake as he holds back his sobs. 

“W-Why won’t they talk to me? W-Why won’t they try? W-What happened? Why are we like this now?” Eric cries out, feeling his body become wracked with sobs as he lowers his head to the ground. Sunwoo blinks back his own tears as he shakes his head, reaching out and helping Eric sit up, before pulling his friend into his arms. 

“S-Sunwoo, it hurts. Everything hurts.” Eric sobs into Sunwoo’s shoulder, and his friend can only pat his back in silence as he stares up at the night sky with tears in his eyes. 

He finds that there’s no stars in the sky tonight.

“I-It still hurts. Why does it still hurt so bad?” Eric sobs, and Sunwoo stays quiet as Hyunjun tries to soothingly rub the redhead’s back. Eric shuts his eyes tightly as the memory of your breakup comes to mind, more tears trailing down his face as he cries out, 

“W-Why did they leave me?” 

“How’d you and Younghoon start dating?” You look up from your food to find Nayeon waiting for you to answer her question, the food on her plate starting to go cold. Snorting, you gesture towards her rice, “Your food’s gonna go cold if you don’t eat it now.” 

You watch as she quickly gets a big portion of food on her spoon, before shoving it into her mouth. Biting back a laugh, you try to focus on your own meal as Nayeon practically chokes from how much she’s trying to swallow. Rolling your eyes, you hand her a napkin, which she quickly grabs to cover her mouth as she coughs. 

“When I told you to eat your food, I didn’t mean shove it down your esophagus.” You giggle, and she waves her hand at you while she takes a large gulp of water. Setting the glass down, she lets out a breath and points at you, “In my defense, I underestimated how much was on my spoon. However, this isn’t about me.” 

“How is you almost choking not about you–”

“It’s about you telling me your love story with Younghoon since we haven’t been able to catch up over lunch for,” Nayeon pauses and lifts up her wrist to look at her imaginary watch, before looking back at you. “For three months. Three months! Which is how long you and him have been dating, so it’s time for my yearly update on your life.” 

“You sound like my mother.” You mutter as you eat a spoonful of your bibimbap, and Nayeon shoots you a glare for the side comment. Sighing, you place your spoon down and make sure to properly chew your food before you glance at your friend.

“He had liked me for a while before the two of us got together since we were always paired together in projects.” You begin quietly, looking out the window of the restaurant as you remember the day you and Younghoon started dating. 

Stepping out from the library, you let out a huff when you see the rain falling from the cloudy sky above you. Reaching for the pocket of your backpack, you bite your bottom lip when you don’t feel the umbrella where it’s supposed to be. 

“Of course I’d leave my umbrella at home when it’s raining.” You grumble, tilting your head up towards the sky as you wonder whether or not you should just wait it out. 

A sad smile forms on your face as numerous memories come to mind, and you lower your head to the ground, “Eric always came to get me on rainy days like this.” 

“Yn!” Your head snaps up at the voice, and you glance over to see your classmate standing at the bottom of the steps, umbrella over his head as he looks at you with a grin. You blink in surprise when he climbs up the stairs, and holds out the umbrella so that it’s protecting the both of you. 

“Younghoon, what are you doing here?” You ask with wide eyes, and you watch as his cheeks turn a pretty shade of pink as he looks at your surprised face. “I remembered that you didn’t have an umbrella after our class ended earlier, so I came to the library since you’re always here.” 

“You knew I didn’t have an umbrella?” Younghoon nods his head at your question, looking rather shy as he looks at everything but you. “I noticed that your umbrella wasn’t in the pocket of your backpack where you usually keep it.” 

You stare at the black haired beauty standing before you, feeling conflicted as you look into his soft eyes. You’ve known for a while that Younghoon likes you, maybe even from the moment the two of you met. He’s one of the more well known students on campus because he’s handsome, tall, kind, and intelligent. Anyone would be thrilled to have the attention of Kim Younghoon.

“Younghoon, do you like me?” You ask, making the latter’s jaw drop slightly at how straightforward you are. He lets out a cough and turns his head away from you, face turning red as you wait for his answer. You watch as he clenches his fists at his sides, gathering all his courage before turning back to you, “I like you, yn. I’ve liked you for a long time.” 

Silence falls over the two of you, the sound of the rain falling onto the pavement being the only thing that you can hear as you stare at the handsome man before you. His confession slowly sinks in the longer you look into his eyes, seeing the hope that floods them as he awaits your answer. 

“Younghoon, you know that Eric and I only broke up three months ago–”

“I know!” He exclaims, and you blink at the interruption. He gulps, rubbing the back of his neck as he reiterates softly, “I know.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, “Then why do you want to date me knowing that I’m still trying to get over him?” 

Younghoon turns his head back towards you with a warm smile, “Because you’re worth every minute of my time, and every drop of love that you deserve to feel.”

Nayeon stays quiet after you finish retelling the story, watching as you take a sip of water while looking out the window. She bites the inside of her cheek when she notices the faraway look in your eyes, before letting out a low whistle, causing you to glance at her. 

“Wow, he’s brave.” Nayeon tells you, and you smile softly while nodding in agreement. “I was surprised too.” 

Taking another spoonful of your food, you’re about to take a bite when you hear her add, 

“I really thought you and Eric were like… endgame. I was surprised to find out you started dating someone else, to be honest.” 

Blinking, you promptly place the spoon back into the bowl. Staring down at your food, you quietly wonder why he keeps being brought up recently. Why now? After thinking you’ve finally moved on. Why does he keep making his way into your life, even in the smallest of ways? 

“Well, I guess life just had other plans.” You respond, mustering a tight smile to try and show that you’re tired of this conversation. However, Nayeon was never the type to back down. 

“Life had other plans, or did you?” She asks, and you stay quiet. Tapping your foot against the floor, you choose to not answer her question as you finally take a bite of your food. 

Nayeon lets out a sigh at your silence, before reaching out and resting her hand over yours on the table. You glance down at where your hands connect, pressing your lips together when you realize that your finger was tapping the top of the table subconsciously.  

“Look, yn. My friends and I are hosting a party next Friday, and I think you should bring your boyfriend. He sounds like a nice guy, and I want to meet him.” Nayeon tells you in a soft voice, and your eyes trail up towards hers, feeling conflicted when you recognize the emotion in her eyes. 

Concern.

Giving her a tight smile, you nod your head, “Yeah, I’ll try my best to go.” 

Eric sits on the bench, staring out at the quad as students walk past him, rushing to make it in time for their classes. He glances down at his phone, checking to see if he’s gotten any new messages, just to turn it off when he sees no notifications. 

After he calmed down from his breakdown a week before, he knew that he couldn’t keep going on dates with Daeun when he still wasn’t over you. He planned out how to talk to Daeun and end things in the nicest way possible, having even prepared to get hit by Sunwoo and Hyunjun taking turns boxing with him. 

“Eric?” He looks up at the call of his name, finding the blonde standing before him, a smile on her face as she fiddles with her fingers. He immediately stands up and gives her a tight smile, gesturing to the bench he was sitting on, “Hi, Daeun. You should sit.” 

She giggles at the fact that he stood up just to tell her to sit down, and she nods while patting his shoulder. “Always such a gentleman. You didn’t have to stand up to tell me that, ya know?” 

“I wanted to. Besides, my mother raised me to be very polite.” Eric tells her with a grin, and she chuckles with a nod of her head. “And that she did very well.” 

Daeun turns to look at him with warmth dripping from her eyes, and Eric’s heart swells with guilt at the sight. Turning away, he glances out at the quad as he mutters, “Thank you for agreeing to meet me here.” 

“Of course, we usually meet at this time anyways. What did you want to talk about?” Daeun asks, and the redhead bites the inside of his cheek when he turns back to face her and sees her unsuspecting gaze as she waits for his answer. Feeling his hands begin to shake on his lap, he slowly folds them together in an attempt to get them to stop as he looks into her eyes. 

“I don’t think we should keep seeing each other, Daeun. I’m really sorry.” Eric says in a soft voice, and he watches as the warmth in her eyes slowly morphs into shock at what she just heard. She blinks and turns away, hearing the sound of her heartbeat against her ears as she comprehends what he said. 

“W-What do you mean? I thought things were going well?” Daeun asks, turning back to the redhead to see the look of guilt on his face. 

Letting out a breath, Eric rubs his hands on his jeans out of nervousness, “Things were going well, they were great even. I just don’t think I’m ready for a relationship yet, and it’s not fair for me to string you along when you could be with someone who’s more deserving of your time and effort.” 

He watches as Daeun’s eyes turn glassy, and she glances down at the ground as she lets his words sink in. She’s had feelings for Eric from the moment he stopped and helped her pick up all the papers she had dropped from her folder. He was so kind, funny, radiant—everything she heard about him through her peers was right. 

But he was dating you at the time.

When the two of you broke up, it was almost as if a piece of him left with you. No one knew why things ended, and she could only imagine what happened between you and Eric. However, Daeun realized she had a chance.

She was thrilled when Eric said yes to her offer of going out for coffee five months after the two of you had broken up, but she knew the reputation he was slowly building. Before her, he had gone on dates with four other people, but they didn’t work out. 

She didn’t want to be like them—she wanted to last with Eric.

But deep down, Daeun’s always knew she could never be you.

“Is it cause of yn?” She asks in a quiet voice, and Eric turns away at the question. She slowly glances up to look at him, and she lets out a breath when she sees that familiar faraway look in his eyes again. 

Ah, so he was thinking of you, Daeun thinks to herself when she remembers all the times he would get distracted whenever they were together. 

“Yeah, it’s because of them.” Eric murmurs, and she fails to notice the flash of pain in his eyes at his answer. Biting her bottom lip, her eyes trail down to his shaking hands, watching as he fiddles with his thumbs to try and get them to stop. 

“Why would you try to go on dates if you still have feelings for yn?” 

Eric just stays quiet for a moment, knowing exactly why, but not wanting to say the answer. He turns towards Daeun, “That’s why I’m ending it with you now, because it’s not fair to you.” 

The blonde looks into his eyes in silence, knowing she should be angry at him. She should be screaming at him right now, maybe even hitting him for just stringing her along. 

She can’t bring herself to do any of that right now, though. Not when she sees how heartbroken he is over you. 

Pressing her lips into a thin line, she manages a small smile as she reaches out and rests her hand over his shaking hands. Rubbing circles with her thumb in an attempt to get him to calm down, she looks up into his eyes. 

“I’m angry that you said yes to me when I asked you out that day a month ago, but I’m also glad that you did, because I got to know you.” Daeun tells him, and Eric feels tears prick the back of his eyes. She pats his hands, and stands up from the bench, looking down at him with a sad smile on her face. 

“Goodbye, Eric.” She says in a quiet voice, and the corner of Eric’s lips quirks upwards at her. Nodding his head, he raises his hand up and gives her a small wave, “Bye, Daeun.” 

And with that, she turns around and walks away from him. He watches as she leaves, staring at the way her blonde hair flows with the cold, Winter wind. A tear finally falls past his eye when the cursed memory comes to mind, the sight of Daeun getting smaller and smaller as she walks away being all too familiar to him. 

Eric steps out of the elevator and hurries over to the entrance, heart thrumming with excitement at finally meeting with you this week. Ever since last weekend, he hasn’t been able to see you because you were so busy, so when he got a text that you were outside of his apartment complex? 

He immediately sprinted out of his apartment wearing his shark slippers. 

Pushing open the doors, he smiles widely when he sees you standing by the garden, scrolling through your phone as you wait. 

“Yn!” Eric calls out as he hurries down the stairs and walks over to you. You don’t look up at the call of your name, and he comes to a stop when he’s a few feet away from you, but you still don’t look at him.

“Yn?” He says in a smaller voice, wondering if you’re okay when you bite the inside of your cheek. He watches as you pocket your phone, and he feels anxiety settle in his chest when you finally look up at him.

Your gaze is hard, no sight of the stars that he’s come to know and love over the years. 

“I-I was surprised when you texted me that you’re outside of my building. I even sprinted out here wearing my beloved shark slippers, see?” Eric explains with a small laugh, gesturing towards his slippers in an attempt to make you feel more at ease. He glances back up into your eyes, and his laughter dies down when you stay quiet, no emotion in your gaze. 

Biting his bottom lip, he points back towards his apartment, “Do you wanna come inside? I can make your favorite–”

“Let’s break up.” 

The rest of the sentence dies in Eric’s throat at your words, turning to you with furrow to his eyebrows as he tries to gauge what you just said. He blinks, “W-What?” 

Staring at him with cold eyes, you let out a breath and turn your head to the side. He can hear his heartbeat in his ears as he looks at you, wondering if he had just misheard you while he waits for you to repeat what you said. 

But his heart sinks when you turn back to him and repeat, 

“Let’s break up, Eric.” 

His eyes widen, and he stumbles back a step like your words physically dealt a blow. He looks at you in confusion, “Why would we break up? It’s almost our four year anniversary, and we’ve been doing great–”

“I’m tired.” You cut off, and Eric just stares at you in silence. Running a hand through his hair, he takes a step forward, searching your eyes for any sort of humor, like this is all some kind of sick prank you’re pulling on him. 

But he doesn’t find anything. 

“What’s wrong, yn? Why are you saying this? Are you going through a tough time right now? You know that we can handle it together.” 

“I don’t want to date you anymore, Eric. Don’t you understand that?” You ask, a blank expression on your face as you look at him. He sucks in a breath, before violently shaking his head at your words. 

“N-No. What happened, yn? What happened in the week that we didn’t see each other? Did I do something wrong? What did I do? I’ll fix whatever it is that I did, just, please. Can we please talk about this?” Eric asks, tears pricking the back of his eyes as he feels himself beginning to grow desperate. You can only stare at the ground in silence, and the blonde reaches out to gently grasp your warm hands in his cold ones. 

“Yn, please. I-I love you, and you love me. We can work this out if you just talk to me and tell me what happened. If it’s something I did, I can fix it. I’ll do anything to fix this, so please–” 

“What makes you think I still love you?” You ask, slowly lifting your head until you’re staring directly into his eyes. 

You see the exact moment his heart breaks, and the pain that floods his gaze as he looks at you. A single tear falls past Eric’s eye, and his hands fall back to his sides as he shakes his head. 

“You don’t mean that.” Eric mutters, and you just stare at him in silence, and that’s all he needs to realize that you’re being serious. 

“I'll drop off your stuff later this week, and you can just drop off my stuff whenever.” You tell him, before turning around and walking away without another word. The blonde bites his bottom lip and shakes his head, shouting out after you, 

“Why do we have to break up?! How can you just end it, after everything?! How could you leave me?!” 

But you don’t turn around, and Eric just stands there like a fool, tears falling from his eyes as he just watches you get smaller and smaller, until you eventually disappear. 

You stare at the top of Younghoon’s head while he studies, nose deep into his book as he tries to focus on the material. You’re debating on how to ask him to attend Nayeon’s party with you on Friday, because you know that he’s not a fan of social gatherings. 

You’re so deep in thought that you fail to see him look up at you, an amused smile forming on his face when he notices the dazed look in your eyes. It’s only when he reaches out and taps the tip of your nose that you realize he’s caught you staring, and you let out a quiet laugh. 

“How long was I daydreaming?” You ask, and the black haired beauty shrugs his shoulders while giving you a grin. “About a minute or so.” 

“That’s not that bad.” You say, and he points at you with the highlighter in his hand, “But you were staring at me for at least ten minutes before that.”

“Damn, you noticed?” 

“You were practically burning holes into the top of my head from how hard you were staring at me. I can tell that something’s on your mind though, what’s up?” Younghoon asks you as he glances down at his book to highlight a sentence really quickly. You tap your nails against the table, slightly annoyed at how easy it is for him to read you now. 

It really puts a dent in your plans.

“So… you know how Nayeon and I got lunch the other day?” Younghoon nods his head yes, and you bite your bottom lip as you try to think of how to phrase the next part. He bites back a giggle at the slight frown on your face, and he reaches across the table, making you freeze in your tracks when he gently rubs his thumb on the crease between your eyebrows until you relax. 

“What’s making you so concerned that you’re frowning?” He teases in a gentle voice, but you can only swallow the lump that’s formed in your throat as you stare at your boyfriend sitting before you. From his pretty smile, to the fondness in his eyes as he looks at you, you want nothing more than to just focus on him. 

But you find your mind trailing to the thought of those warm brown eyes that often held mischief in them, and that sweet smile that had the ability to brighten even the darkest of days. 

“Eric! Stop throwing turtle shells at me!” You shout from the couch, and the blonde just lets out a cackle as he throws another turtle shell at you. You let out a loud groan when you lose once again, tossing your controller onto the couch beside you. 

“You are so bad at Mario Kart.” Eric tells you, and your eyes trail down from the TV and to your boyfriend that’s seated on the floor in front of the couch. He’s looking at you with a shit-eating grin, knowing damn well that he only won because he had decided to ruin your day. 

Blinking your eyes, you stand up and whack the back of his neck, eliciting a squeak out of him. Stepping over him, you head in the direction of the kitchen to get a snack, a deep frown setting on your features since you are a very competitive person. 

But so is Eric.

“Yn! Come on, I was kidding!” You hear Eric call out from behind you, the sound of him scrambling up from the floor to follow after you. You refuse to turn around and enter the kitchen, opening the door to the pantry to look over your chip collection. 

The feeling of arms wrapping around your waist from behind makes your heart rate speed up slightly, but you’re still too stubborn to turn around in his hold. He lets out a breath when you reach out and grab a bag of chips to check if you want to eat it, knowing that you’re ignoring him because you’re mad. 

“I’m sorry, darling. You and I both know that you’re the best at Mario Kart.” 

He bites back his smile when you physically pause at his words, and he internally celebrates when you finally turn around in his hold. He immediately lets out a coo when he sees the frown on your face, finding you to be incredibly cute as he stares into your eyes while you glare at him. 

“We’re having a rematch after my snack break.” You order, and he nods his head at you with a grin. Feeling slightly satisfied at his compliance, you’re about to turn back around when he lets go of your waist and reaches up to cup your face instead. Moving to ask him what he’s doing, you’re rendered speechless when he suddenly leans in and presses a soft kiss to the crease that was between your eyebrows. 

Leaning back, he smiles softly when he sees that the crease is now gone, your features now more relaxed as you look at him in surprise. He gently pinches your cheeks, before murmuring with warmth dripping from his gaze, 

“My pretty, pretty love.”

“Yn? What was it that you wanted to ask me?” Younghoon’s voice snaps you out of the memory, and you bite the inside of your cheek at the fact that you were reminded of him again. Your foot taps against the floor as you remember what you need to ask your boyfriend, and you let out a shaky breath. 

“Nayeon is hosting a party with her friends this Friday, and she wants you and I to come.” You tell him, and the black haired beauty purses his lips in distaste at the mention of a party. He reaches up and rubs the back of his neck, “Yn, you know that I’m not a big fan of–”

“I know.” You interrupt, and he waves his hand to signal you to keep talking. Nodding your head, you continue, “I know you don’t like parties, but I really want you to meet some of my friends. We don’t even have to stay that long! Just a couple hours, and then we can go back to your place and watch a movie or something.”

Younghoon stares at you for a moment once you finish, letting your words settle in as you await his response. Pressing his lips into a thin line, he eventually lets out a small smile and rests his hand over yours on the table. 

“Since you really want me to go, I’ll go with you and make sure that we have fun together.” Younghoon says, and a relieved smile takes over your features. You give his hand a squeeze, “Thank you, Younghoon. I really appreciate you doing this for me.” 

And the black haired beauty nods at you with an indecipherable emotion in his eyes, “I’d do anything for you, yn.”

“Alright, Eric. It’s time to get out of bed!” The redhead lets out a groan at the loud voices, and he rolls onto his stomach so that he can cover his ears with his pillow. 

He sighs when the pillow is snatched out of his grasp, and he turns his head to find Sunwoo and Hyunjun standing over him. He blinks at the two of them, noticing the subtle waves in Sunwoo’s peach colored hair, and the dangly earrings that adorn Hyunjun’s ears. Leaning back a bit in his bed, he quickly realizes that the two are dressed very nicely for just coming into his room to wake him up.

“Did I wake up at Paris Fashion Week or something cause why the fuck are you both dressed so nice?” Eric asks as he points to the both of them, and Sunwoo raises an eyebrow at him. “I told you that Ryujin is hosting a party with her friends tonight.”

Eric bites his bottom lip and rests his head against the mattress, “Ah, you did tell me that.” 

“Exactly, so start getting ready or else Hyunjun is going to make you take three shots of vodka if you’re not done in ten minutes.” 

Eric immediately sits up in bed and squints at the black haired beauty, “You wouldn’t.” 

To which Hyunjun just smirks at him with a quirk of his eyebrow, before turning around and leaving the room. Eric lets out a loud groan when he hears the sound of his kitchen cabinets opening only a moment later, and from there he’s got his answer. 

“Is there a dress code?” Eric asks Sunwoo once he climbs off his bed and walks over to his closet, pushing through the hangers to see what shirt he should wear. His friend just shrugs his shoulders, plopping down onto his bed as he watches the redhead search through his clothes. 

“No, why would there be a dress code?” 

Eric snorts and shoots Sunwoo a look, “Considering the fact that you and Hyunjun dressed like you’re about to walk the runway, I was assuming I should dress like I’m about to meet the fashion god.” 

“And who would be the fashion god?” Sunwoo asks with a grin, to which Eric quickly answers once he pulls out his black button down from the closet,

“Xu Minghao.” 

Sunwoo purses his lips and nods his head in agreement, getting up from his bead with a sigh once he hears the sound of glasses clinking together in the kitchen. He points out the bedroom door, “I think Hyunjun’s about to clear your liquor cabinet since he’s too eager to drink, so I’m going to go and put a stop to the menace.” 

“He said he’d give me ten minutes to get ready, but that bitch is already taking my alcohol.” Eric mutters, and Sunwoo chuckles with a roll of his eyes. “Hurry up and come out so that Hyunjun won’t go feral.” 

“Got it.” Eric says with a quiet laugh, and with that, Sunwoo steps out of the room. When he hears the sound of his two friends laughing in the kitchen, he rests his forehead onto his hanged clothes as a frown takes over his features when he remembers something.

“Isn’t Ryujin roommates with someone I know?” 

You’re sitting on the couch with Younghoon as you listen to him and Nayeon chat enthusiastically about how Tata’s character design doesn’t deserve the hate that it gets. There’s a small smile playing on your lips at how passionate the two are over the heart shaped character, feeling a bit tipsy from the few shots you and Younghoon were forced to take with Nayeon as soon as you walked in.

You suppose this was good for your boyfriend though, considering how much more talkative he is now that he’s slightly inebriated. 

Letting out a breath, your eyes gaze around the living room, seeing groups of people doing different things. It ranges from those dancing to the music playing through the speakers, to people playing cup pong over near the stairs. You glance over at the kitchen and see the doors leading to the balcony down the hallway, and the corner of your lips quirks upwards at the thought of fresh air. 

Turning to Younghoon and Nayeon again, you see your boyfriend nodding his head enthusiastically to every word the blonde is saying about Tata. Biting your bottom lip, you reach out and rest your hand on Younghoon’s knee to get his attention, to which he just rests his hand over yours without glancing back at you.

Letting out a chuckle, you squeeze his knee, and he slowly turns to look at you. A smile immediately forms on his face when he looks into your eyes, and you grin back at him. 

“I’m going to go outside for a bit, it’s too hot in here.” 

“Do you want me to come with you?” Younghoon asks, and you shake your head with a teasing smile on your face as you stare into his brown eyes. “It’s okay, I’ll only be gone for a few minutes. Besides, you’re having a very serious conversation with Nayeon about the hatred Tata faces.” 

You watch as a wave of determination floods his eyes from the reminder of his last conversation, and you laugh at the sight. Standing up from the couch, you signal to Nayeon that you’re going outside, and she gives you a thumbs up. As you start to head towards the back door, you can already hear Younghoon and Nayeon sparking up their conversation once again. 

“Eric~ take another shot with me.” Hyunjun says in a singsong voice as he holds out the shot glass to the redhead, and Sunwoo grimaces slightly when Eric grabs it and downs the alcohol right away. He already knows that his two friends are shitfaced, and while he’s a bit drunk himself—he’s sure that he won’t be throwing up in the morning. 

Sunwoo lets out a sigh when Eric rests his forehead onto the kitchen counter after Hyunjun disappears to get some more alcohol, and he walks up and gently pats his best friend’s back. “Eric, do you want me to go get you some water?” 

Eric only groans in response, which Sunwoo takes as a yes. He lets the redhead know that he’ll be right back, and walks in the direction of the fridge to grab a couple water bottles since he’s already decided on forcing the water down Hyunjun’s throat as well. 

You squeeze past the different groups of people, your lips pulling downwards in distaste at all the sweaty bodies you’ve had to push through. Your eyes brighten when you finally see the doors to the backyard, and you hurry past the kitchen and into the hallway. 

You suck in a deep breath of fresh air when you finally push through the doors and walk out onto the balcony, feeling grateful that you’re alone as you walk over to the railing. Resting your forearms onto the cool surface, you stare up at the stars that adorn the sky with a sad smile playing on your lips. 

“Why do the stars always remind me of him?” You whisper to yourself, letting out a sigh as you lower your head.

The doors bursting open behind you make you jump up and glance back, eyes wide as you stare at the top of the person’s head. They’re slouched against the door, head hanging as they stare at the ground in their drunken state. 

“Are you okay?” You tentatively ask, staring at their red hair as their grip on the door handle tightens. You’re about to step forward to check on the person, only to stop when they finally look up and lock eyes with you.

Eric’s standing there, hand gripping the door handle for dear life to keep his balance as he stares into your eyes. The two of you haven’t been this close in months, having kept your distance a month after the break up. You know he’s not in the right state of mind based on the alcohol you smell on him, because he knows better than to try and talk to you. 

“Yn.” Eric slurs out, and you clench your jaw at your name falling past his lips. He blinks slowly as he looks at you, and he can start to hear his heartbeat against his ears when he’s reminded of how beautiful you are. 

“I didn’t know you were at this party.” He murmurs as he attempts to take a step forward, and you’re about to reach out to catch him when he almost immediately loses his balance once he lets go of the door. However, he catches himself by grabbing onto the railing, and the sound of the door closing behind him is heard as you slowly lower your arms back to your sides. 

“Nayeon invited me and Younghoon.” You tell him, and you fail to notice his grip tightening around the railing at the mention of your boyfriend. He blinks at you slowly, unable to believe that you’re real as the moonlight casts a pretty glow over your features. 

And you stare at him, feeling your heart pang when you see all the stars make its way back into those warm brown eyes of his the longer he looks at you.

Biting the inside of your cheek, you turn away and face the door. Pointing towards it, you mutter, “I’m leaving now. You can have the balcony to yourself.” 

You walk past him to get to the door without waiting for a response, and right as you reach out to grab the handle, you feel his cold hand gently grasp onto your wrist. You freeze in your spot, staring at the door with wide eyes as he continues to hold onto you. 

“Eric, let go.” You say, but he doesn’t move. Silence falls over the two of you as the cold Winter air breezes past you, and you find yourself wondering why you aren’t doing anything. 

Why are you just standing there, allowing him to hold onto you? Why aren’t you cursing at him, removing your arm from his grasp? 

Why is your heart pounding against your chest at the fact that you’re alone with him after six months of staying away?

You shut your eyes, knowing that your boyfriend is just waiting for you inside of the house. Sucking in a breath, you try again, “Eric—”

“I miss you.” He finally says, his voice being well below a whisper that you almost didn’t hear him. You don’t move, blinking down at the ground with tired eyes as he clings to your arm like a lifeline. 

You bite your bottom lip, refusing to look at him as you respond, “Eric, we can’t do this.” 

“I miss us, yn.” 

You stay quiet, trying to fight away the tears that are threatening to spill from your eyes. You tilt your head up towards the night sky, staring up at the stars to try and distract yourself from your ex-boyfriend. 

“You don’t miss me?” Eric whispers, and you blink up at the sky, feeling a wave of frustration wash over you when all you can think about when you look at the stars is him. Eric feels tears flood his eyes as he stares at the back of your head in a drunken haze, wanting nothing more than for you to turn around so that he can see your face again. He takes a small step forward, “You don’t miss us?” 

Your eyebrows furrow at the question, and you slowly lower your head so that you’re staring at the door handle again. You finally turn so that you’re facing the redhead, and you feel your throat constrict when you see the glassiness to his eyes as he stares at you. 

Your eyes are cold as you look at him, similar to that of the night you broke up with him. However, he notices an emotion to them that he knows all too well, for it’s the same one he sees whenever he looks at himself in the mirror.

Pain.

“No, I don’t miss you. I don’t miss us.” You state and yank your arm out of his grasp. You watch as his hand slowly lowers back to his side, and you silently curse to yourself for the guilt that’s flooding your chest as you look at him. Sucking in a breath, you turn away and point towards the door, “Can I leave now?” 

He stays quiet, just staring down at the ground as you wait for his response. Letting out a sigh, you turn around and walk towards the door. Reaching out to grab the handle, you’re about to open it when you hear him mutter something that makes you stop in your tracks. 

You glance back at him, “What did you just say?”

Eric’s staring at you, leaning against the railing as he lets out a dry laugh. Running a hand through his red hair, he turns away as he repeats himself, 

“Leaving me is as easy as ever for you, isn’t it?” 

Your eyebrows furrow at this, “That’s not true.” 

“Isn’t it, though?” Eric asks, turning back to face you with a tired gaze. Your eyes latch onto the tear that’s managed to escape his eye, following it as it slowly trails down his cheek. He gestures to you with his hand, “You suddenly left me after almost four years of being together, and never gave an explanation as to why because you cut off all contact with me. And now that we’re here, you’re leaving me again.” 

You squint at him, “That doesn’t mean it was easy for me.” 

“It sure as hell seemed easy.” Eric retorts, and you press your lips together in a thin line. Rolling your eyes, you turn back around, “Whatever, I’m not doing this right now cause you’re fucking drunk.” 

“You LEFT me, yn. You left, not me!” Eric exclaims right when your hand rests on the door handle, and you feel a burst of anger flood through you at his words. Turning around, you walk right up to Eric and poke his chest, causing him to take a step back as his eyes widen. 

“YOU’RE the one who wanted me to leave!” You yell, and his eyebrows furrow in confusion.  

“What are you talking about–”

“YOU’RE the one who fucking got drunk and moped to all our friends about how you weren’t ready for commitment and that you wanted to be single again! It was YOU!” You shout, and his eyes widen when he’s reminded of that drunken night six months ago.

“Eric, why did you have to get so shitfaced?” Hyunjun whines after Eric’s head almost slams forward onto the table, but Sunwoo had shoved his hand out right away so that he could catch the blonde before he hurt himself. 

“I already called yn, so they should be closeby now.” Sunwoo tells Hyunjun, to which he nods his head while patting Eric’s back.

“I’m scared.” Eric mutters, voice muffled by the table. Sunwoo and Hyunjun exchange a glance, before leaning towards the blonde, “What are you scared of?” 

“The future. Adulthood. Marriage.” Hyunjun raises an eyebrow at Eric’s answer, and he turns away to take a sip of water. 

“Is that why you decided to get shitfaced?” Sunwoo asks, and he watches as the blonde nods his head against his hand. He lets out a small smile at how drunk Eric is, waiting for his friend to continue speaking as he glances out the window of the restaurant to see if you’ve arrived yet. 

Eric lifts up his head and glances at Sunwoo, before turning towards Hyunjun. He sniffles and wipes at his nose, “Yn and I were talking about what we’ll do when we graduate, and when we think it’ll be a good time to get married. I freaked out after they left because I realized that we’re like, actually growing up and have to save money to start the rest of our lives.” 

Hyunjun presses his lips into a thin line, understanding his friend’s fears as he continues to pat Eric’s back. “I understand where you’re coming from, but you’ll have us and yn to help navigate this whole adulting shit with you.” 

“What if I’m not ready though?” Eric begins, and Sunwoo bites the inside of his cheek when he notices the slight panic in his eyes. “What if I can’t find a job that’ll help support yn and I when we get married? Everything is so expensive nowadays, and then we’re eventually going to start a family—oh God. I need another shot.”

Sunwoo frowns when the blonde reaches out and downs another shot, “Are you saying you don’t want to get married to yn?”

Eric blinks tiredly at his friend after he sets the glass down, before his head falls onto the table a second time, with Hyunjun there to catch him this time. 

And you stand by the wall, hidden from the three as you stare down at the floor with wide eyes at what you just heard. Feeling a tear fall past your eye, you cover your mouth to hold back the sob from escaping your lips, and turn around and walk out of the restaurant.

Something wet falls onto the tip of your nose, snapping you out of the memory. Blinking in confusion, you and Eric both look up towards the sky, watching as the first snow of the year begins to descend down onto the two of you. 

You let out a breath when the saying comes to mind, and you let out a quiet laugh at the irony of it all.

If you witness the first snowfall with someone, true love will blossom between both and it will be long-lasting.

Lowering your head so that you’re facing him again, you find Eric already staring at you with tears falling from his eyes. You bite the inside of your cheek, ignoring the way your vision blurs with tears of your own as you harshly poke his chest while you hiss out,

“I may have made the decision to leave first, but mentally? You had already left.” 

And with that, you turn around and move towards the door, only to freeze when you lock eyes with Younghoon. His hand is on the door handle, a pained expression on his face as he looks between you and Eric. There’s snowflakes melting on his black hair, signaling that he’s been out here with you and Eric since the snow first began to fall. 

You quickly wipe away the tears falling from your eyes and take a tentative step forward, reaching out to rest your hand over his, “Y-Younghoon, when did you get here—” 

The rest of the question dies in your throat when he flinches away from your touch, and you slowly let your arm fall back to your side. You stare into his eyes, feeling your vision begin to blur when he doesn’t make a move towards you.

“Younghoon, you know that I—”

“I knew that it would be hard for you to get over him.” Younghoon finally speaks, looking at the redhead with an indecipherable emotion in his eyes. Eric bites his bottom lip and shakes his head, “I was the one who kept yn here, they didn’t want anything to do with me—” 

“Yet I would’ve thought that you had gotten over him by now, but based on the tears falling from your eyes… I can see that I was bold to even think that.” Your boyfriend states, and before you can utter another word, he turns around and walks off the balcony. Guilt floods your chest, and you immediately fling open the door and follow after him to try and talk it out. 

Leaving Eric alone outside, the first snowfall of the year falling around him as he stares blankly at the door you had left through. Tears fall from his eyes, and he glances down at the ground as he lets out a dry laugh. 

“It was all my fault.” He murmurs to himself, unable to remember what happened the rest of that night because he blacked out.

He slowly sinks to the ground, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. Another laugh escapes him, then another, until it eventually turns into sobs as he sits alone on the balcony.

It’s only moments later when Sunwoo finds him, shivering from the cold as he sobs into his best friend’s arms. He’s only able to mutter that it’s his fault, that it was all his fault, until he passes out. 

You’re sitting at a bar, cheek resting against the table as the bass of the music vibrates through the furniture. You came by yourself an hour ago, and downed five drinks on an empty stomach within that hour alone.

And now you’re drunk.

It’s been a week since the party, and Younghoon hasn’t answered any of your calls or texts. You haven’t seen him on campus either, and you can only assume that he’s doing his best to avoid you.

Not that you can blame him, though.

You bite the inside of your cheek at the reminder of his pained expression when he looked at you, another wave of guilt washing over you as you let out a groan. You raise your hand up without lifting your head, and you hear the bartender ask you what you’d like. 

Right as you’re about to answer, you feel your hand get lowered, and a familiar voice replies from behind you, “I think they’ve had enough, thank you.”

Your eyebrows furrow, and you lift your head to look behind you, just to see Sunwoo sitting down in the seat beside you with a grin on his face. Your frown deepens when you realize that there’s a hand still resting over your own, and you turn your head, just to lock eyes with Hyunjae, who’s giving you a small smile. 

Your bottom lip quivers when you see your best friend, and he lets out a quiet laugh when tears immediately flood your eyes. He opens his arms without a word, and you quickly step into his embrace, a sob escaping your lips as soon as his comforting scent floods your nose.

He rests his cheek on your head, gently rubbing your back as you cry into his chest. He quietly mutters, “Cry it out, it’s okay. It’ll be okay, yn. I promise.”

And you cry. You cry so hard that you can barely breathe as you cling onto Hyunjae like a lifeline. 

But deep down, you don’t want to accept just who exactly you are crying over.

Sunwoo comes up to the table and places a glass of water in front of you, giving you a comforting smile as he sits down across from you. You let out a small grin, “Long time no see, Sunwoo.” 

“I would ask how you’ve been, but I can already see that you’ve had better days.” Sunwoo says, and you poke your tongue into your cheek as you turn away. Hyunjae snorts at your reaction, and Sunwoo chuckles while reaching out to pat the top of your head. 

“You sobered up a bit?” Hyunjae asks, and you nod your head as you take a large gulp of water, having not realized how dehydrated you were. “I’m tipsy at best, but not as shitfaced as I was earlier.” 

Sunwoo glances at Hyunjae after your answer, and you watch as they seem to start talking through their gazes. Feeling a bit left out, you pat the table, getting their attention back on you.

“Can I ask why you and Hyunjae came to get me? I understand Hyunjae since he’s my best friend, but you and I haven’t spoken since…” You trail off, finding yourself unable to say the two words for some reason. Sunwoo presses his lips together and finishes the sentence for you, “The break up.” 

You bite the inside of your cheek and nod your head, feeling a bit more guilt weight itself over you for practically cutting off all contact with Sunwoo and Hyunjun after you and Eric broke up. You already knew that they were shocked when you ended things with him, and you had assumed they had ill feelings towards you for the way you broke it off. 

You felt even worse when you had to keep calling Sunwoo or Hyunjun to come and pick up Eric from your doorstep for two months straight. 

“When I found Eric on the balcony a week ago, he told me what you said.” Sunwoo begins, and you glance down at the reminder of your argument. He shares a glance with Hyunjae, before letting out a breath, “I don’t think you got the whole story of that night Eric got shitfaced.”

Your eyebrows furrow, and you look up to see Sunwoo looking at you, trying to gauge your reaction. You rest your hands on the table, “How could I have gotten the story wrong when I heard everything you guys said? You were the one who even called me to come and pick Eric up.”

“But you left and called me to come pick up Eric instead, who was passed out by the time I got there.” Hyunjae interjects, and you shake your head. “I only left after hearing that Eric wanted to break up with me.” 

“Eric never said he wanted to break up with you.” Sunwoo states, and you blink at this. Leaning closer to the table, you look between Sunwoo and Hyunjae in confusion, “What do you mean?” 

Sunwoo sighs, “That night, you didn’t hear everything that was said.” 

“What if I’m not ready though?” Eric begins, and Sunwoo bites the inside of his cheek when he notices the slight panic in his eyes. “What if I can’t find a job that’ll help support yn and I when we get married? Everything is so expensive nowadays, and then we’re eventually going to start a family—oh God. I need another shot.”

Sunwoo frowns when the blonde reaches out and downs another shot, “Are you saying you don’t want to get married to yn?”

Eric blinks tiredly at his friend after he sets the glass down, before his head falls onto the table a second time, with Hyunjun there to catch him this time. 

“Eric, I get that you’re shitfaced, but you gotta stop trying to get a concussion.” Hyunjun murmurs sleepily after a moment of silence falls over the three of them, taking a sip of water as he feels the frown that forms on Eric’s face from what he said. 

Sunwoo nudges the blonde’s knee, “Eric, do you not want to get married to yn?” 

Eric shakes his head, reaching out and slapping Sunwoo’s arm for continuing to bring up that question. “Why do you keep asking that? When did I say that?” 

“It’s what you’re making it sound like.” Sunwoo says with a soft laugh, rubbing the part of his arm that Eric smacked. The blonde shuts his eyes and lets out a short burp, eliciting a grin from Hyunjun, “I’m just scared about not being enough for them, you know? What if I fail at being able to give them the life they deserve?” 

“That’s not only your responsibility though, Eric. You and yn need to work together to be able to attain the life that you both deserve.” Hyunjun tells him, and Eric lets out a yawn as he keeps his eyes closed. A small smile forms on his lips as your smile comes to mind, and he quietly murmurs before he passes out, 

“I’m in love with yn, I don’t ever want to be apart from them.”

You stare down at the table with wide eyes after Sunwoo finishes telling you the whole story, tears flooding them as you think of what you’ve done. Hyunjae watches in concern when you clench your fists over your legs, biting your bottom lip to try and fight the sob that threatens to escape. 

“Yn, say something–”

“It’s my fault.” You whisper, raising a shaky hand up to your head to push back your hair. You shut your eyes tightly as you reach up, covering your face with your hands, “It’s all my fucking fault.”

“Yn?” 

You let out a sob, all the flashes of Eric’s pained face whenever he looked at you coming to mind as your mistake sinks in. You grip at your hair, trying to take a deep breath but ultimately failing when you find yourself crying even harder. 

“Almost e-every night for two months, h-he came to my door and waited for me so that we could talk, but I just left him out there.” You cry, and Hyunjae reaches out and softly rubs your back to try and comfort you. 

You slam your hand down onto the table, and Sunwoo bites the inside of his cheek when he sees how heartbroken you look as you keep your gaze casted downwards. “If I h-had just given him the chance to talk to me, then this wouldn’t have happened. Instead, I was just so fucking cruel to him because I thought he didn’t want to be with me anymore. I’m such a bitch.”

Hyunjae takes a table napkin from the stand and holds it out over your nose, and you shoot him a glance, but he just shakes the napkin in front of you. “Blow your nose.”

“T-That’s gross.” You hiccup, and Hyunjae squints at you while pushing the napkin onto your nose. “We’ve been friends for years, I don’t care. Blow.”

Much to your dismay, you lean in and blow your nose into the napkin that Hyunjae’s holding for you. Sunwoo gives you a sad smile when you lean back from the napkin, and Hyunjae stands up to throw it away. 

“Yn, you know that you need to talk to Eric, right?” You slowly nod your head, staring down at the table with a faraway look to your eyes as tears trail down your cheeks. You blink when the feeling of a hand falls over yours, and you look up to see Sunwoo’s thumb rubbing circles onto the back of your hand.

“But before you talk to Eric, you need to sort out your feelings first and figure out what you want.” Sunwoo tells you, and you bite your bottom lip when you remember the pained expression on Younghoon’s face when he saw you with Eric. 

You look at Sunwoo, feeling helpless as you murmur, “Sunwoo, I don’t know what I want.” 

And he wordlessly raises his hand, reaching out and wiping away the tear that escapes your left eye. He gives you a small smile, 

“I think you know exactly what you want, you just have to figure out how to accept it.” 

You’re sitting at a table by the window of the cafe, staring down at the foam design on your matcha tea as you wait for Younghoon to arrive. You glance up at the sound of the bells coming from the entrance, just to let out a breath when you see that he’s not the one who entered.

It’s been almost three weeks since you and Younghoon spoke at the party, and after spending a lot of time thinking, you reached out to him and asked if he wanted to meet at the cafe where the two of you had your first date. You weren’t expecting a response, but he texted you back moments later saying that he’ll meet you there.

“Yn.” You look up from the table, just to stand up from your seat when you find yourself staring into Younghoon’s eyes. 

“Younghoon, hi.” You say in a soft voice, and he musters a small smile as he nods his head in greeting. You gesture towards the seat in front of you, “Sit, I already ordered your drink for you.” 

He glances down at the latte art on top of his coffee, letting out a breath as he mutters a quiet thanks before sitting down. You sit down as well, watching in silence as he takes a sip of his coffee, and gently lowers the cup back down onto the saucer. 

Silence lays itself over the two of you as you both just stare down at the table, unsure of how to bring up the elephant in the room. You know that you should speak up first, but the fear towards how he may react makes it hard for you to say something.

“We had our first date here.” Younghoon starts in a soft voice, and you look up to see him facing the window, a fond look in his eye as he remembers that day. You nod your head, letting out a soft laugh as you mutter, “I spilled my matcha onto your shoes.” 

“And they’re still stained, thanks to you...”

“I said I was sorry!” You choke out, and Younghoon laughs at your reaction. You bite the inside of your cheek, leaning back into your chair with a lingering smile on your face as he casts his eyes downward towards his coffee. 

“I always knew from the moment you agreed to go out with me, that our relationship would just be temporary.” Younghoon mutters, and you slowly glance up to see him staring at you with a sad look in his eyes. The corner of his lips quirks upwards, “But even with that knowledge, I was still happy that I got the chance to be with you.” 

You bite the inside of your cheek, “Younghoon…” 

“I know I’m a fool to think like this, but back then, I fell in love the moment I saw you smile for the first time.” He confesses, and you feel tears prick at the back of your eyes as he smiles softly at the memory. “Every time I saw you on campus, you were just so… radiant. You were like a star in the sky that I knew I would never get the chance to see from up close, but I was content from watching you shine from afar. That was until you and Eric broke up.” 

He lets out a shaky breath, folding his hands together underneath the table before continuing, “I became greedy? I guess you could say? When I saw that I had a chance, I took it, knowing very well that there would be a deadline to our relationship. Even then, I still had the smallest bit of hope that maybe I was wrong—that maybe we could last.” 

A tear finally falls past your eye when Younghoon’s gaze trails up back to you, and he gives you a smile with tears flooding his own eyes as he looks at you. He tsks to himself, reaching out and resting his hand on your cheek. He tenderly wipes away the tear that escaped your eye as he mutters, “Always such a crybaby.” 

“I’m sorry, Younghoon.” You blurt out, and he shakes his head. “I knew what I signed up for the moment I confessed to you, you don’t need to apologize.” 

“How can you say that? You should be angry with me—hate me, even! You should be cursing me out, swearing that you never want to see me again!” You exclaim as more tears fall past your eyes, and Younghoon just continues to smile at you with a loving gaze. You bite your bottom lip and lean back, pointing at him as his hand slowly falls to the table, “D-Don’t look at me like that!”

“Like what?”

“Like I didn’t do anything wrong!” You cry out, and he stays quiet as you wipe away the tears falling from your eyes. You clench your fist at your side, “I agreed to date you when I was still in love with Eric, I stayed with you for three months when you and I both knew that I still wasn’t over him. I’m a fucking… rat bastard, I don’t know. You shouldn’t be so kind to me when I was just leading you to believe that we would last.” 

Younghoon just stares at you as you cry even more, silence falling over the two of you with the sound of your sniffling filling the air. A small smile forms on his face after a moment, and he coos at you as he moves to wipe away the tears falling down your face, but quickly stops himself. Biting the inside of his cheek, he reaches out and picks up a napkin instead, before holding it out to you. 

You look at the napkin, and glance back up at him. He waves it at you silently, and you let out a breath, taking it from his grasp and blowing your nose with it. He lets out a chuckle when you take a deep breath after using the napkin, and you shoot him a glare. 

“You think this is funny?” 

“So now you’re going to scold me for laughing at you blowing your nose like an elephant?” Younghoon asks, and you press your lips into a thin line. He grins at your reaction, before sighing and leaning back into his chair. “Yn, I could never hate you.”

“You should, I’m a—”

“You’re a rat bastard, yes, but I can never hate you or wish for you to be gone from my life.” Younghoon tells you, and you feel your bottom lip begin to quiver as another wave of tears threaten to break out. He glances down at the table, “Of course, I don’t think I can be friends with you until my feelings are gone, because it honestly hurts to see you right now.” 

You nod your head in understanding, and he looks back up at you, the corner of his lips quirking upwards when he sees your puffy eyes. He lets out a breath, “But when the time comes that I can be around you without feeling hurt, then I’d really like for us to be friends, yn.” 

You let out a small smile, a tear escaping as you nod your head. “I’d really like that too, Younghoon.” 

He stares at you with that familiar look of love in his eyes for a moment, trying to ingrain your lovely features into his mind before he distances himself from you. Letting out a breath, he stands up from the table, and you quickly follow suit. 

“Thank you for a lovely three months, yn.” Younghoon says softly, and you huff at the lump that quickly forms in your throat at his words. You reach out and slap his arm, eliciting a laugh from him as he pulls you into his embrace. 

You let out a smile, wrapping your arms around his waist as you close your eyes. Voice muffled into his shoulder, you mutter, “Thank you for a great three months, Younghoon.”

The two of you begin to sway side to side, only for you to let out a squeak when you feel your hip bump into the table. The sound of a cup falling over rings in the air, and you cling onto Younghoon tighter when you don’t feel any liquid fall onto you. 

“Yn.”

“Younghoon.”

“Are you holding me even tighter cause you know that your matcha tea just spilled onto my new shoes?” Younghoon asks you in a quiet voice, and you bite your bottom lip. 

“I’ll venmo you.” 

He sighs, “I’ll send you the price later.” 

Eric sits on the step outside of your apartment, sniffling to himself as he rubs his arms for warmth. He drunkenly rests his head back against the door, blinking his eyes slowly as the fatigue begins to lay itself over him. 

Holding his knees to his chest, he feels himself beginning to fall asleep when the door suddenly opens from behind him. He blinks his eyes open, just to find himself staring at your pretty face as you wrap the warm blanket around him. You look up once you’re sure that it’ll stay on him when you move to go back inside, only to pause when your eyes lock with his.

The two of you stare at each other in silence, with Eric’s bloodshot eyes looking into yours as sleep threatens to pull him under, and you looking at him with a pained gaze as your hands slowly fall back to your sides. 

Biting the inside of your cheek, you move to stand up and head back inside when his cold hand reaches out and grasps your warm one. 

“Yn, can you please talk to me?” Eric murmurs in a sleepy voice, and you feel your breath hitch at his words. He stares at your hand, having missed the warmth of them as his eyes slowly trail up towards your side profile. 

“I want to fix us. If you give me a chance, I’ll do whatever it takes to fix what I did wrong.” He tells you, but you continue to stare at the inside of your house, knowing you should go back inside without listening any further. 

He blinks tiredly, not even noticing your lack of response as his vision blurs. He softly squeezes your hand, “Why… why did you leave me?” 

You tilt your head up towards the ceiling at his question, fighting back the tears that threaten to fall past your eyes as you remind yourself of why you ended things. 

He’s the one that doesn’t see a future with you, not you.

“Do you really not love me anymore?” Eric asks quietly, and you turn to see the tears trailing down his cheeks as he clings onto your hand. Biting the inside of your cheek, you kneel down so that you’re facing him as you adjust the blanket around his shoulders. He blinks at you sleepily, fighting to keep his eyes open so that he can see you properly.

You tentatively reach out and rest your hand on his cheek, wiping away the tears falling from his eyes with your thumb as he leans into your touch. When his eyes begin to fall shut, you quietly whisper, 

“I’ll always love you, Eric.”

He gasps awake in his bed, reaching up and rubbing at his face, just to let out a breath when he feels the wetness to his cheeks. He groans, rolling over onto his stomach so that his face is smushed by his pillow. 

“It’s not real, it was just a dream.” He mutters to himself, voice muffled by his pillow. He frowns at the fact that it was a memory he dreamt of, but he shakes his head when the possibility that it was real comes to mind. 

Sighing, he reaches out blindly towards his bedside table and grabs his phone. Turning his head, he holds his phone close to his face as he reads through his notifications, only to bolt up in bed when a name catches his eye.

yn: eric, can we talk?

i’m outside of your apartment complex

i’ll wait for you

Eric’s eyes widen when he reads the time stamp, and he practically leaps off his bed when he realizes you sent those messages two hours ago. Throwing his sweatshirt over his head, he slides into his slippers and sprints out of his apartment.

He frantically pushes the button for the elevator, the thought that you’ve already left coming to mind once the elevator doors open. He rushes inside and presses the button to go down to the main floor, tapping his foot against the floor as he reaches into his pocket to get his phone so he can send you a text.

Only to pause when he realizes that he left his phone on his bed. 

Cursing to himself, he hurries out the elevator once the doors open to the main lobby, and he practically bursts through the entrance. He breathes heavily as he looks around the front of his apartment complex, but he doesn’t see you anywhere as he lets out a sigh. 

“I missed them.” Eric mutters to himself, about to turn around and head back inside, only to stop in his tracks when he sees you sitting on the staircase beside him. Your head is resting against the wood, fast asleep as you hold your knees to your chest. 

His eyes widen when he sees the goosebumps on your arms, and he quickly takes off his sweatshirt and lays it over your shoulders. You slowly blink your eyes open at the sudden warmth, and you look up to see those familiar brown eyes boring into yours. 

“Eric?”

“Why would you wait for me out here when I didn’t answer your text? You should’ve known that I didn’t see it and went home! It’s the middle of Winter, what if you get sick?!” Eric exclaims in worry, continuing to dote on you as he tries to get his sweatshirt to stay on your shoulders. You bite your bottom lip at the fact that he hasn’t changed at all, he still takes care of you and scolds you like you didn’t completely shatter his heart over a misunderstanding. 

“I don’t know why you would only wear a short sleeve shirt in 40 degree weather—”

“You waited outside of my door for two months after we broke up.” You murmur, making the rest of Eric’s sentence die in his throat when his gaze finally makes its way back up into your eyes. He blinks at the tears that flood them as you look at him, and he glances down when he’s suddenly struck with the cold memory of your last encounter.

He stands up from the step and brushes off his knees as he mutters, “Sorry, I forgot my place.”

He moves to unlock the door of his apartment complex when your cold hand suddenly grasps onto his own, and he slowly turns his head to find you staring at your connected hands with tears trailing down your cheeks. 

“Your hand… it’s warm.” You say, and Eric presses his lips into a thin line as he chooses to stay quiet. You blink to try and get your vision to clear, but it fails as more tears continue to flood your eyes. Letting out a shaky breath, you rest your forehead onto the back of Eric’s hand, and he tilts his head up towards the night sky. 

“Younghoon and I broke up.” You confess, voice so low that the redhead almost doesn’t hear it. He blinks, and glances down at you with wide eyes, “What?” 

You cling onto his hand tighter, “I couldn’t be with him when all I can think about is you.” 

A lump forms in Eric’s throat as he stares down at the top of your head, unable to believe what he’s hearing. The sound of his heartbeat is loud against his ears, and he’s sure that you can hear it on this quiet, Winter night.

He slowly squats down so that the two of you are eye level, and you lift your head up from his hand to look into his glassy eyes. There’s disbelief in his gaze as he looks at you, but you feel a sob bubble up in your chest when you see that familiar look of love mixed in as well. 

“Eric, I’m so sorry.” You finally say, tears trailing down your cheeks as you lower your head. A sob forces its way out of your throat as you rest your forehead onto your guys intertwined fingers, “I-I was stupid and didn’t give you a chance to tell me the truth. I just went with what I heard, and was so hurt by what I thought happened that I acted like such a bitch. I s-should’ve listened to you, but I said such horrible things and I—” 

You’re cut off when you’re suddenly pulled forward, and you open your mouth to protest, but quickly stop when you find yourself wrapped in his warm embrace. Your bottom lip quivers when the familiar scent of his laundry detergent floods your senses, and you let out a loud sob into his shoulder. 

He’s holding back sobs of his own as he holds you tightly in his arms, afraid to let go for the fear of you leaving again. Tears roll down his cheeks as he cups the back of your head with his hand, finally feeling at home after months of being overwhelmed by loneliness. 

“I’m sorry, Eric. I-I’m so sorry.” You cry out, voice muffled by his sweater, and he just closes his eyes as he nuzzles his face into your neck. After a moment of the two of you just holding each other while crying, he gently leans back so that he can look at your pretty face. 

The corner of his lips quirks upwards when he sees your swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks, and he tenderly reaches out and cups your face in his hands. You stay silent as Eric looks at you, sniffling occasionally as more tears threaten to spill over. 

He leans in and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, whispering against your skin, 

“I love you.”

Eric pulls away with a small smile on his face, cooing when the tears you were trying to hold back fall from your eyes at those three words. You let out a quiet laugh, one that’s full of heartache and relief as you reply, 

“I love you too.”

Biting your bottom lip, you look down as you begin to mutter another apology, but you’re quickly stopped by Eric tilting your chin upwards and capturing your lips in his. 

After months of staying away, the two of you have finally made your way back to each other. The kiss is messy—desperate, even. It’s sloppy and tastes of salt from the tears the two of you are shedding, and you can’t stop crying out apologies between each kiss as your fingers intertwine with his against your cheek. 

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“I love you.” 

“I love you too, yn.”

When you finally pull away, Eric wipes away the tears under your eyes with the pads of his thumbs. While you wipe at his cheeks with the sleeves of his sweatshirt, gently slapping his shoulder every few seconds as he giggles softly at the sight of your swollen eyes.

He gestures towards his apartment complex when he takes notice of the goosebumps beginning to rise on your arms again, “Let’s go inside, yn.” 

You nod your head, and he helps you stand up from the step. His eyebrows furrow when he sees you shiver slightly when a particularly cold breeze blows past the two of you, and he quickly helps you slip on his sweatshirt that was just laid over your shoulders.

You let out a smile when he pulls the hood over your head, and he grins back at you as he leans in to mutter, 

“I’ll give you clothes to change into at my apartment. I don’t allow outside clothes on my bed.” 

And you let out a laugh at his words, eliciting a giggle from the redhead as you reach out and take hold of his warm hand with your cold one.

Later on that night, when the two of you are laying in bed, Eric rolls over so that he’s facing you. He stares at your sleeping face glowing underneath the moonlight shining in through his window, unable to believe that you’re here as his eyes trail over your pretty features. He carefully intertwines his fingers with yours while you sleep, a soft smile escaping him when he feels your hand permeate warmth into his cold one. His eyes slowly fall shut when you gently squeeze his hand in your sleep, the familiar rhythmic sound of your breathing lulling him to sleep. 

After six months of only being able to live through glimpses of what once was, everything slowly falls back into place since you and Eric have found your way back to one another. 

Now able to live through glimpses of what can be.

sunwoo blinks rapidly, stepping back with his lips parted. he’s in shock - definitely not expecting the response she just gave him. then, he scoffs and sucks in a deep breath, thoughts thrown off its train as he looks away and holds his hands on his hips. 

“you have some nerve responding to me like that.”

eunjung rolls her eyes. “you have some nerve barging into my room and kissing me thinking that it’s gonna work.”

sunwoo turns back to her, squinting. “you’re testing me.”

it’s her turn to scoff. “and you’re being a fool. get out of my room.”

they’re playing a ping-pong game of scoffs now, especially when sunwoo has to rub his palm over his mouth and chin as he curves around her and forwards to the door. 

“you... are being difficult,” he says, hand on the door knob. “but i wanna see how long you can play at this.”

“this isn’t a game.”

sunwoo pulls the door wide open and takes a step out, then turns around with a small smile on his lips. “unfortunately for you, i’m great at playing games.”

“what?” eunjung frowns and puckers her lips in confusion. sunwoo doesn’t give a second hoot before he closes the door behind him.

“what?” lia quite almost mirrors eunjung’s exact reaction.

“that was exactly what i said.”

“that does not sound like a cool exit,” yeji shrugs and slurps at her starbucks drink. 

“it’s not.”

yeji gulps and sits back. “it does sound like you’re in for a long ride.” 

“yeah, well… he can ride this ride on his own.” 

sunwoo may not have been as aggressive and forward as he painted himself to be (or maybe eunjung was just imagining that he would be that way) but he was surely around almost every corner she turned. him having a head of pink hair didn’t help her case either - it only made spotting him in a crowd easier, and catching his gaze made it seem like she was already staring.

she was not. 

eric was by his side quite literally all the time. if it’s anybody she’s looking at, it’s eric. not the walking, melting cone of strawberry sorbet ice cream that’s so sour he isn’t the centre of attention. it’s frustrating on eunjung’s heart, to have eyes that are for one person, but her body has been looked at and caressed by another. 

she’s not one to care about whom she’s slept with or think too much about the concept of virginity and chastity - it has always been a societal ploy to control women. 

but she can’t deny that it feels a whole lot worse when it’s eric’s best friend. 

“had it been anybody-fucking-else, it wouldn’t have been so bad,” eunjung mumbles under her breath and jabs at the little plush toy sitting in the corner of her bed. it was a jellycat elephant that sangyeon had gifted her, and gyu young had a matching one. 

knock knock.

“yeah?”

“hey, can i come in? i cut some fruit,” eunjung’s sister-in-law calls through the door. 

“yeah, sure,” eunjung sits up and clears her throat, pulling her hair to cover the almost-faded mark on her neck. 

the door clicks open and she walks in with a plate of orange, apple and mango cubes with little green dinosaur toothpicks sticking out from them. eunjung isn’t a person who offers compliments too often, and she hasn’t to her sister-in-law, but there had always been a glow about choi chae yeol since the day her brother took her home to meet their parents. 

she was a phD student and way out of her brother’s league - eunjung had no clue how he had managed to snag this piece of treasure for himself. chae yeol was bright and funny and though she seemed a little serious at times, she was ruled by the perfect balance between logic and emotional thinking. 

that was a trait eunjung wished was inheritable, because that would make the world so much easier for gyu young to deal with. 

“you alright? sangyeon told me you’ve been kept to yourself a little more these couple of weeks,” there’s a clink when she sets the plate on eunjung’s desk by her laptop and notes. 

“yeah, it’s just that work’s been catching up and i’m dealing with some stuff at school, so.”

“‘some stuff’?” chae yeol wipes her damp hands on her joggers and pulls the claw clip out of her hair to redo it. “are we talking about stuff your brother wouldn’t like or stuff you’re overthinking about?”

eunjung looks straight at the plate and hugs her feet to herself, digging her fingers under the edge of her blanket. “both.”

chae yeol sniffles and raises her brow as she clips her hair. “you know, the day you came back the other day... last saturday? i saw the concealer on your neck. your brother didn’t but i did.”

eunjung looks up and bites on her bottom lip. “i... it was a mistake. i’m not pregnant nor did i get an std... i just... it’s a little messier than i wished it would be.”

“getting pregnant or an std is the least of my worries of you,” she reaches for the plate and holds it as she sits at the edge of eunjung’s bed. “you’re a smart person, so i don’t think you’d leave room for that kind of mistake. what’s plaguing you? what’s the complication?” 

she jabs an apple cube and offers it to eunjung. she opens her mouth and chaeyeol feeds her, her eyes wandering mindlessly as she debates with herself whether to share. 

“i may or may not have slept with someone whose best friend is my crush.”

chaeyeol’s eyes widen as she hears eunjung crunch into the apple cube. then, this cheeky grin surfaces on her lips. “ooh! sleeping with the crush’s best friend.”

eunjung takes a deep breath and shrugs. 

“are there any feelings involved? how did he treat you thereafter?” 

“i... no? i don’t... know? i know i still like my crush and god forbid i ever fall for his best friend... but his best friend keeps saying these things to me... trying to win me over, taking it as a challenge.”

“let me tell you something. your brother may have been a saint when he’s with your family, but the reason we’re together is because we slept together by accident and he decided that me liking his best friend was not gonna cut it for him.”

silence. 

“what?”

chaeyeol chuckles and takes a mango cube for herself, then feeds eunjung an orange slice. “mhm. i liked his best friend at first. jaehyun, was it? i had made friends with sangyeon for the sole purpose of getting close to jaehyun... but things took a turn i hadn’t planned and i ended up in bed with him and that was quite literally the beginning of your brother pestering me. look where i am now.”

“oh, my god,” eunjung laughs through the orange in her mouth. but then she abruptly stops, and shakes her head. “fuck, no, i’m not having his children. oh, no!”

“i’m not saying you will,” she reassures. “i’m just telling you that what you plan and what you want might not go the way you expect it to. and we know how all men are - fickle and picky, and they always think they know what they want until they find themselves at the mercy of a woman. they kiss their hands and fingers and buy them flowers as if it were a currency for love, and then they get on their knees to beg to be taken care of for the rest of their lives.”

“all i’m hearing is he will never let me go.”

“and all i’m telling you is that you... can have fun with it. if you don’t want him after all that effort to show that he loves you, then be my guest and break his heart. he knew you liked his best friend first, didn’t he? then it’s his problem for slipping up and falling for you. all the money and time and effort he puts into showing you his pretty feathers is his choice, not yours. the complication is his, and it will only be yours if you catch yourself reciprocating.”

chaeyeol feeds eunjung a piece of mango. “anyway, i have to fetch gyu young from her swimming class. do you wanna come with? since we’re having dinner together after anyway. i didn’t ask before because i thought you were busy studying, but turns out you were wasting your precious braincells on a man!”

with that, chaeyeol stands and returns the plate to eunjung’s desk. “also, don’t ever tell your brother i told you that. and don’t ever give gyu young the same speech i just gave you.”

“what?” eunjung chuckles and slides off the side of the bed. “why not?”

“because there isn’t going to be a single man out there good enough for her, even if it’s his heart for her to break- and frankly, there isn’t a good enough man for you either. but you’ve already gotten yourself in that mess of yours, so.”

eunjung laughs and shakes her head.

“finish up and come meet me at the car in 20?”

“sure,” eunjung nods, taking another apple cube. “thanks for the pep talk.”

“anytime.”

eunjung has her hoodie pulled over her wet hair, the little clamps of damp fringe coming down over her eyes as she picks out the instant food in the fridge. her eyes gloss over the coffee, then recalls that eric posted on instagram that he was going to spend the night studying for a midterm. her fingers hover over the cool, metallic mocha can, then with a resounding breath, she grabs it. 

her phone vibrates in her hoodie’s pocket, and she pulls it out to see a little notification from the devil himself.

🦝: how long are you going to ignore me for?

eunjung locks the screen and shoves it back into her hoodie pocket. she was walking through the shop and picking out some energy bars and a pack of chips for herself when she hears the bell of the door go off after someone walks in.

“coffee? same thing?” she hears someone say. the voice is familiar - so she turns around the end of the isle to look at the fridge where she was just at. sunwoo was huddled in his cream hoodie with his pink fringe sticking out under the hood, fingers running over the rims of the cans while searching for a particular flavour. 

“there aren’t any mochas left. next choice?” sunwoo pushes the other cans aside, searching for any more. it dawns on eunjung that she took the last one. 

“cappucino...” sunwoo mumbles under his breath, then scores the orange can. “found it. anything else?” he turns, and this time, notices eunjung standing between two isles and looking at him. 

“hey, would you text me what you need? i think my phone’s about to crash. kbye.”

he shoves his phone in his pocket and immediately strides towards her, whose eyes widen upon the realisation he’s approaching her.

“you-”

“give me the cappucino,” eunjung reaches out and grabs the can from sunwoo before he can respond. he looks at her with widened eyes and a little frown of confusion. then, he notices she’s holding the last can of mocha coffee, so he squints at her. 

“what else does eric want?” she asks nonchalantly.

“i don’t know.”

“check your phone,” she nods to the device in his pocket. “you told him to text you.”

“why are you eavesdropping?”

“you were speaking in a public space, and not very quietly, i might add.”

“wow,” sunwoo scoffs and shoves his hand into his pocket. he unlocks his phone with a sly grin on his lips. eunjung reaches over and snatches the phone out of his palm when she notices the notification pop up on the top of his screen.

eric: potato chips and snickers bars x2 please

she eagerly shoves it back into his hand, then turns to search for the ordered items. 

“you know, i didn’t take you for a simp when i first saw you,” sunwoo trails after her, watching as she picks out the most expensive pack of potato chips off the shelf. 

“so what if i am? at least i’m doing it right!” 

“what the hell is that supposed to mean?” eunjung can hear the spite in his voice as he turns after she does to face the opposite shelf. eunjung ignores him, scooping two bars of snickers from the shelf and a pack of gummy bears for herself. 

“you’re really something, you know that?” sunwoo trails her, grabbing a protein bar next to her gummy bears. she reaches the cashier’s counter first, then he does, and when the cashier asks, “payment by?”

“paywave.”

“paywave.”

eunjung turns and glares at him, before abruptly lifting her phone to the scanner. her phone clunks with his as he does the same, and the scanner beeps. both of them turn to look at the cashier, who turns the scanner around and uses his annoyed, why-are-these-young-adults-acting-like-children eyes to study the scanner. 

“payment went through. not sure which one though.”

eunjung looks down at her phone, and sunwoo mirrors her. 

no notification and no payment history on his. 

“you’re welcome for your protein bar,” she lets the cashier scoop all the items into the bag. 

“didn’t thank you for it,” he pokes his inner cheek with his tongue as he watches her take the bag from the cashier with a ‘thanks’, and she walks out the store. 

“tough one,” the cashier doesn’t look at sunwoo when he says it. the door swings shut, and sunwoo looks at him with curious eyes. 

“excuse me?”

the cashier looks up at him and through his lashes, lips pouted while the gears in his brain churn. “good luck, buddy.”

“what?” sunwoo frowns and tuts in slight frustration. he’s about to ask, but eunjung knocks on the glass door and gestures a ‘whatthefuckareyoudoinginthere?’

sunwoo looks at her, then at the cashier, who is still devoid of emotion on his face. he sniffles and gives up, turning to leave the store. 

the plastic turns clear to his ears as he exits. eunjung fishes the pack of gummy bears out from the plastic bag and hands it over to sunwoo. 

he looks down at the handles dangling the bag from her fingers, then up at her. “why don’t you give them to him yourself instead of making me your stupid baby stock deliverer?”

“that’s an insult to stocks,” she shoves it into his chest, which forces him to take it. “and no. what would i say? how do i explain that i willingly paid for everything he wanted?”

“be honest. besides, eric is too oblivious to figure anything out for himself. you could tell him you overheard me and you just decided to be a saint today and he’d buy it.”

“you think he’s stupid.”

“you think he’s smart.”

eunjung rolls her eyes. “whatever. bye.”

but sunwoo reaches out and grabs her arm before she can leave his radius, and he catches up to her in a huge, single step. “no, come deliver them yourself.”

“no!” eunjung tries to writhe out of his grip, but fails. sunwoo starts to walk, and quite literally drags her along the corridor. it was late, so eunjung is slightly thankful they passed by just a handful of other students, who spared no thought before glaring and staring at them like the inappropriate couple they are. 

“you could come in for a drink or two,” sunwoo finally gets her in the lift up to his room and he stands between her and the door to prevent her from leaving. she tries to duck, and slaps his arms away from the button panel, but he gets the doors closed anyway, and manages to jab the floor of his choice. 

eunjung huffs and smacks his hands as he tries to keep her still, only giving up momentarily when the lift starts to move. but her eyes glance over the button panel, and sunwoo catches the mischief glimmer in her eyes. 

“don’t you dare,” he whispers, reaching over to the button panel and starting to walk before it. “don’t you-”

and eunjung rams her knee into his groin without hesitation. sunwoo lets out the loudest groan, and it almost echoes throughout the lift as she reaches over his crouched body and presses all the buttons on the panel. 

sunwoo groans and yells, on his knees and bent over like eunjung would be on his period. she turns and looks at his red ears camouflaging under his pink hair, and she almost feels bad for kneeing him so hard. 

level 4.

“quick! get up! if- if you didn’t make me do this, that wouldn’t have happened.”

“this isn’t as bad as ruining father’s day for me-” he groans again, looking up into the light. there are tears in his eyes. 

the doors open. there’s no one. the doors close. 

“get up!” eunjung tries to pull him up. 

“i’m very much handicapped right now, in case you couldn’t fucking tell!”

level 5, the lift chimes. 

“oh, shit-” eunjung hisses and annoys sunwoo with the plastic bag. “get up! get up!”

“you just deflated my balls!” sunwoo almost shrieks as eunjung struggles to pick him up. the lift slows to a stop.

“oh, please! they could be actually deflated with a needle and you’d still have that much cum.”

“what?!” he finally stands, with his arm around her shoulder and hers around his waist. the lift doors ding open, and there’s taehyun and beomgyu trailing off from their conversation when they notice who it is in the lift. 

“eunjung!” taehyun’s eyes light up.

“sunwoo?” beomgyu’s half into suspicious squints. 

“are you injured?” they walk into the lift and taehyun asks for good measure, but notices the the entire activated panel. he turns, side-eyeing beomgyu. he finally looks behind himself with his peripheral vision, and watches as eunjung and sunwoo seem to mutter (read: hiss) something under their breath to each other. 

they miss taehyun’s subtle glare - they are too caught up in trying to make each other remain quiet about each other’s problems.

eunjung only notices when taehyun reaches for the button panel, and un-selects the button by holding it for a couple of seconds. the red rings disappear, but eunjung can’t find a hole to bury her head in.

“he did it,” eunjung has no idea why she said it.

“excuse me?” sunwoo snaps his head towards her and frowns. “i did not!”

“it’s fine,” taehyun shakes his head. he wants to ask what the hell’s going on, but he won’t. he knows he won’t get the truth anyway.

taehyun clears his throat. “sprained ankle?”

“sprained bhhhhh-” sunwoo’s words compress into a sharp hum as eunjung pinches the side of his waist. 

“sprained... ankle ball.”

“ooh, bummer,” taehyun glances at eunjung. “i didn’t know you two were close.”

“we’re not,” eunjung responds first.

the two stare daggers at each other again, earning some look of confusion from taehyun, but a hardened stare of suspicion from beomgyu. 

“oh...’kay,” taehyun clears his throat again.  

the lift ride is awkwardly quiet - taehyun and beomgyu really can’t guess why she’s supporting him the way she is and spitting insults under her breath. but they reach the gym level anyway, and they alight with a little wave as the doors close. 

once they do, eunjung shoves him off her, knowing that the pain in his groin has probably already faded. 

“my god! what would people think! us being ‘close’!”

“don’t see what’s wrong with that,” sunwoo rolls his eyes and readjusts his shirt. 

“ugh, you’re just! so! UGHHHHHH!!!!!!” the doors finally ding over on the floor eric and sunwoo stay on. she snatches the plastic bag from his hands, and he tries to catch her, but he misses. 

“eunjung,” he calls after her, hurriedly tailing after her down the corridor. she ignores him, this close to opening their door and hurtling the bag of sweets and snacks in but she can’t afford to let eric get confused with their relationship.

what will he think when he sees them fight like an old couple?

“eunjung,” sunwoo says again when he loses her around the corner to his room. she hangs the plastic bag on the door knob and steps back, as he reaches out to her. 

she smacks his hand.

“ow!”

“can’t you just... leave me alone?”

“i can’t deal with you ignoring me.”

eunjung squints, in disbelief. “my god, you’re such... you’re such an attention seeker!” her whispers are low, but sharp. “you can’t deal with people not giving you the attention and then you spend all your available time bugging the fuck out of them!”

“you’re not listening to me. i said i can’t deal with you ignoring me.”

eunjung grits her teeth. her jaws clench so hard, her temples tighten. 

“i’m not listening to you explain yourself-”

click.

the door swings open. 

“oh?” eric’s eyes widen. “what’s going on out here?”

eunjung’s words get trapped in her throat. she gulps. 

sunwoo nods to the bag on the handle on the outside of the door. “caught her leaving us some snacks.”

“oh, that’s a coincidence! sunwoo was just downstairs getting it,” eric pulls the bag off the handle. “where’s the stuff you bought?”

sunwoo blinks. “didn’t get any. my paywave had problems.”

“hey, you got a mocha and cappucino!” eric grins like a kid as he takes them out of the bag. “i literally told sunwoo to get these.”

“yeah, lucky you,” sunwoo looks at eunjung. her gaze meets his, and in that moment, she can tell she hurt his feelings. “to have a girl pamper you like that.”

“what did you say?” eric calls back. they look into the room to find him already laying out the items on his desk. 

“nothing,” sunwoo shakes his head, entering the room first. 

“aw, you didn’t have to get me this brand of chips. they’re so expensive!” eric looks past sunwoo and at her. 

“it’s fine,” she shakes her head. “the cheaper ones were sold out anyway.”

“do you want to come in and have a drink? we can share the chips too!”

“oh, i’m good-”

“no, why don’t you come in? you were worried he was too busy to hang out but now he’s inviting you in so why not just come in?” sunwoo flops into his chair and plugs his charger into an outlet. 

“come in,” eric walks to the door, beckons her in, and closes the door behind her. “here, what do you wanna drink? we have beer, some canned lemon and vodka. coke.”

before she can say anything, sunwoo heads for the mini-fridge in the room first and takes out a can of coke. “last one. guess that leaves you with beer and vodka.”

the crack seemingly echoes through the room, through the gassy hiss. and like the first time they drank together, sunwoo keeps the eye contact while taking a good few gulps of the drink. eric is oblivious as he mumbles something about sunwoo being an asshole and that the vodka didn’t have a high concentration of alcohol.

but there’s a grave mixture of guilt and frustration in her now. she knows she shouldn’t have said what she said - how can she assume that’s what he’s doing and that it wasn’t a stupid confession?

so what if it is? 

what if it is?

“i... i think i should get back. it’s late and i have a test in a few days. i haven’t been studying for it, so i’ll just... go.”

“aw, you sure? you can have some of the chips? the coffee?”

“no, i’m good,” eunjung shakes her head and turns around to the door. 

“eunjung-”

“bye!” 

eunjung catches herself zoning out for the umpteenth time. she pulls back and away from the table, her fingers still on the keyboard with barely a few sentences typed out. she rubs her fingers over her lids and yawns, then combs through her hair with her hands. 

her mind repeatedly defaulting back to sunwoo’s words made her feel worse every time she heard it in her head. she know’s for a fact she didn’t have to say it, so why did she?

it had been a few days. she hasn’t seen him since. nor eric. nor received any texts from sunwoo. she picks up her phone. 

no, but if you text him, you’ll be letting him win at his own game. 

what game? 

he’s playing hard to get now. 

no, i’m playing hard to get. 

then why are you texting him first?

“fucks’ sake,” she huffs and rests her forehead onto the tabletop, and rams it gently into the wood. abruptly pushing herself back and away from the table, she slaps it with determination as she goes for the door. 

she swings it wide open, and to her shock, eric is right outside the door, his fist hanging in the air like he was going to knock. 

“hey!” eric’s eyes light up, smile beaming. “i hope you don’t mind me... y’know, being here. i actually came with breakfast, as a ‘thank you’ for tuesday.”

eunjung’s lips part in slight hesitance. “oh, sure. it was no problem. it’s exam period so everybody’s... dying the same.”

eric hands her the plastic bag of bread and biscuits. “do you want to catch lunch, actually? sunwoo and i were planning to go out of school for lunch.”

“does sunwoo know?”

“nope, but i’d assume he wouldn’t mind. why?”

“nothing, it just- you know. i’m not that close to the two of you, i’m worried it’ll be awkward.”

“no, no! don’t sweat it. but hey, um, could i ask you something? you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

eunjung is stumped. “depends on what the question is.”

“you say you’re not close to sunwoo, but correct me if i’m wrong, you two look like you have something going on.”

stumped isn’t a good enough word now. 

“um, what do you mean?” eunjung leans against her door and blinks innocently at eric. 

“i mean like i catch him looking in your direction sometimes, like he’s waiting for you to look at him. or like last night. he seemed upset... for some strange reason... though he said he only ran into you outside our door. he was fine when he left so i can’t put my finger on why he seemed upset afterwards.”

she swallows and licks her lips while running through an imaginary list of excuses. “maybe he recalled something that pissed him off or he recalled something someone said to him that upset him.”

“sunwoo? just randomly getting upset over something that already happened?” eric pauses. he shrugs. “i guess that sounds like him... but it doesn’t explain him looking over to you. i don’t know. he acts strangely when you’re around. i mean i know he’s already strange but he’s stranger when you’re present.”

“uh,” she rubs the back of her head, pulling her hair over her shoulder. “i’m... i unfortunately have no clue. what you’re talking about. maybe he finds me attractive.”

what?

eric laughs. “probably. sunwoo has a thing for peculiar women. and by ‘peculiar’ i mean women out of his league.”

“aw, you think i’m out of his league?”

“you’re out of most men’s leagues,” eric steps backwards. “you’re smart and you’re... gorgeous. you’re funny and you’re just so... chill.”

eunjung struggles to read the situation. this feels worse than she thinks it is. why do his compliments feel like he’s rejecting himself? why is he building a wall when all she wants to do is get over it?

“men don’t deserve women like you,” eric smiles sweetly, slightly shaking his head. “god forbid if you ever date a man like sunwoo. or me.”

but i want to date you.

“anyway, let me know if you’re up for lunch. i’ll check with sunwoo if he’s alright with you tagging along, hm?”

“uh- okay. sure.”

“cool. i’ll catch you later.”

the door closes after she releases it, and there’s a deadly silence that forces her into her own head. sometimes, she struggles with ignoring the thoughts in her head: they are merciless, brutal, honest. 

most of the time, she’s able to reason with herself. it’s like her thoughts are a separate entity, telling her to do things she shouldn’t do though she knows they’ll land her in an undesirable situation. 

but this time, something irks her. she can’t tell if it’s the hurt and sudden change in sunwoo’s demeanor. he had the perfect opportunity to ruin her before eric, say that they slept together, say that she was being a bitch, say that she had a crush on eric.

but none of the above. 

“hurry up! get into the science lab!” rushed shouts erupted from all directions while your group of friends tried to make it to the next destination. the crashing of stools and fire extinguishers clashed around, echoing throughout the building and no matter how hard you tried to block them out, the high shrills of the vile creatures surrounding you were all that you heard.

you had reached the state of pure exhaustion and all you wanted to do was crash to the ground to take a breather even if it was just for a second. the only thing you knew was this was some messed up shit. how did a normal school day turn into the freaking apocalypse?

“ah, why are you so slow!” someone had pushed you to the side from behind, causing your right foot to roll inwards, a sharp pain coursing through your veins. a gasp emitted from your lips as you tripped, attracting a whole other horde of zombies to come your way. you could smell the rotting scent and you knew that they were getting way too close for comfort. now, all you could do was accept your fate. you raised an arm above your head and braced for the pain.

just as you thought your life was ending and you would turn into those disgusting things, a hand pulled you up, followed by a squelching of a baseball bat digging into soft skin. blood spattered onto you and you were sure the floor was painted red. “are you dumb? why aren’t you doing anything, let’s go!” you didn’t have to look at his face to know who it was. his tone was harsh but you knew he meant well.

wrapping his arm around yours, he dragged you with him up the stairs and finally, into the lab. it seemed as though the two of you had taken quite a while to come up since everyone had already arrived before you and the door was abruptly shut as soon as both feet stepped into the classroom. “c’mon guys, we should stack up the chairs first at least,” the unofficial leader of the group encouraged you guys, keeping everyone in check so that no more zombies could enter.

once everyone was satisfied with the makeshift barricade, they scattered around the room yet not too far away incase something happened. you settled for the teacher’s table and sat on the edge, just catching your breath. “you really are dense, huh?” a voice appeared next to you while you zoned out from exhaustion.

using the slightest bit of energy to turn your head, you miscalculated the distance and were met just a few centimetres away from his face. without trying to look too flustered, you retaliated, “s-shut up.”

barely waiting for his response, you hurriedly walked away to find your best friend amongst the group of people. scanning the room, you tried to spot the usually cheerful and loud girl but you didn’t see her anywhere, not even in any of the hidden corners.

“guys.. where’s (bsf/n)? wasn’t she with you, on-jo?” you questioned, your heart rate speeding up as you could only think of the worst. “no, i was in front of her, i didn’t see her, sorry,” was the response you received much to your dismay. just as she finished speaking, a zombie crashed against the door, clawing at the glass pane. you took a closer look, a scream escaping your lips as you realised who it was. your hands shot up to your mouth as your knees buckled. not having any strength to balance your weight.

why did she have to turn? your best friend. of 8 years. ripped away from you just like that. just because of those stupid zombies. you were in too much shock to even cry. you refused to look in the direction of the door and barely registered the fact that the other girls were trying to comfort you, rubbing you on your back to reassure you.

it had been quite a while since you saw your best friend in such a state. once the girls realised they didn’t have any effect on you at all despite their attempts, they left you alone to let you grieve on your own. you blankly stared out the window, picking at your blood stained fingernails. it finally hit you that one of the few reasons you fought to stay alive was gone since you lost her. it was like the gates broke free at last. the tears you were fighting back came rushing down your face, yet the burning sensation of you constantly wiping your cheeks with your sleeves couldn’t stop the free flow of tears.

what you weren’t expecting was for a big hand to suddenly pet your head comfortingly, it ran through your hair, providing a sense of warmth for you even if it was just momentarily. so much so, you leaned into it causing your head to fall on their broad chest. your soft whimpers turned into sobs as you welcomed the reassurance. “just cry for a while, everything will be fine afterwards, i’m here,” eric’s voice was different from before. it was mellow and a little raspy, causing the hairs on your arms to stand. upon hearing his words, you cried as if there was no tomorrow to relieve the immense pain.

once you were done, you couldn’t help but to feel embarrassed. he didn’t make fun of you or looked at you in a grossed out way but the fact that you let yourself loose in front of him and crying like that. he stayed silent, allowing you to have a moment for yourself. he probably thinks you’re weird now. “sorry,” you muttered, inching away from the boy.

“don’t apologise for grieving, y/n,” he offered you a small smile, something he rarely did but you wished he did more because you loved his smile so much. in contrast to your action, he scooted closer to you, just close enough where you felt his uniform graze against you multiple times, which you didn’t expect since he wasn’t one to love affection.

this wasn’t how you wanted to spend your time with your childhood crush but right now, anything works honestly. you became quite sentimental as you watched students whose fates were unfortunate as they roamed around the school field, their limbs twisted in various angles you could’ve sworn the human body was unable to do.

“they’re probably people we walked past and said hi to before,” you mumbled as you wished for your life before this outbreak happened back. “let’s not think about it, what’s happened, happened,” he was surprisingly optimistic about the situation which made you break into a grin. “wow, sohn eric, so positive of you,” you teased but you were grateful that he was. “quiet, shortie,” he nudged you, chuckling.

if there was one thing you could ask for now, at this second, in this moment, was a hug. someone to reassure you that this would all end and breeze by super fast, maybe this was all a really really vivid nightmare. you wished and wished that would be the case but a girl can dream, huh?

you weren’t sure how eric would react to your silly request but you tried it out anyways, “ric.. can i have a hug?” you whispered, looking up at him. he froze for a few seconds, sputtering incoherent words as he tried to form a sentence, “what, why, what type of question is that, you idiot, no, you can’t, i’m too precious.” he acted as if he was a fragile package, turning away from you. “hmph, be like that then, i’ll ask cheongsan for a hug instead,” you grumbled, walking away from the window, arms crossed.

before you could take another step, you were pulled by the wrist towards him. “no! i mean, no, you can’t, how would, um, on-jo feel?” he lied, eyebrows knit into a frown. “does she even like him?” you thought about it hard but wind was knocked out of you as eric pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, “don’t ask another guy for a hug, i’ll give you all the hugs you want.” you wanted to blush at his statement but at how hard he was gripping onto you, you could barely breathe.

you desperately patted his back to let you go and when he finally got the memo, he released you making you clutch your chest taking deep breaths. “you dumbass, you’re lucky i like you!” you realised your mistake too late when you saw him smirking at you, “i knew you had the hots for me, i mean, who wouldn’t?” his response made you smack his shoulder several times, “stop being so cocky, just hold me already.” and he did just that.

“yes, my princess,” he jokingly addressed you before sighing into the crown of your head, your arms around his shoulders, “promise me we’ll get through this together?”

“i promise, eric.”

at least it would be much more bearable with him on your side.

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i have no idea what i just wrote, all i know is that i love AOUAD and i wanted to write for it so i’m just writing it until it somewhat makes sense???