@timberline-trail - Tumblr Blog

I would pay anything, I’d sell my soul to go back to 2013 and listen to Oblivion for the first time.

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Need me a Clairo chick for real

Broke up with Heather today, not sure if that was the right decision. My heart hurts but I’m not sure what else could have been better. We live too far from each other but I still have so much love for her.

.

Haven’t been this sad in a while.

debelice

Sunset At Mount Hood......

Yeeeeshhhh posting on tumblr in 2022... maybe its the 17 empty beer cans that lay about my apartment from the last few days, maybe its the fact i lost two years worth of pictures when i dropped my phone in the water. or maybe just maybe its the melancholic symphony from Rosemary Fairweather blasting on repeat at full volume in my ears coupled with those sickening "two years ago, today" Snapchat memories of us backpacking McNeil Point. Long story short i gotta dump Heather, I wont get to go to Bahrain bc i fucked my credit and i have 1.3 more years in petaluma. And yet i thought this would be my salvation, i thought somehow some way this would be my promised land. nearly 3 years have passed and im just as confused as i was when i began this pilgrimage, here i am 3 years older...marginally more skilled than when i began and if anything more susceptible to those old habits. i guess what im getting at is that whenever i look back on the year i had i think "how the fuck did i get here". First it was being on a boat in washington in 30 foot waves followed by a weekend filled with cocaine, then it was california and somehow hating that more than washington, still getting into the things i swore off for so long. Now, well now its somehow looking forward to going to the middle eastfor a year over being in california. I just wanna go back man. I miss oregon, ive made great memories with my friends despite the fact that ive been so far from home for so long. the longer this goes on the more i see it all slip away. Im sorry to everyone, i miss you all so much. I wish i would have made better decisions. I wish i would have said the things i wanted to say when they were applicable but now i just look back on regrets. I remember reading wanderlustrunnerrr's posts about getting older and i thought it would all work out for me but that just hasnt happened. I fee imprisoned right now, in purgatory waiting to start my actual life but im 27 and i have nothing to fucking show for it. jesus christ. its a good thing i didnt discover midwest emo when i was 18 or i wouldnt be here now.

#fuck man bring back the schizo slideshows on tiktok

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vc-allthetime

if you’re on tumblr and over the age of 24 it means the mental illness won

naramdil

i cant believe there are really people with family group chats. like if your family has a group chat and yall legit talk regularly and send memes and stuff that’s a different genre of reality i cant conceptualize.. ur family might as well be from a teen tv show im sorry it just sounds like pure fiction

Wow. I don’t remember the last time a song sat me down on my ass like this.

maybe it was because i found the photo album i made of you the same time it came on. i just miss you, but i don’t want to complicate your life anymore than it is.

it’s as simple as we aren’t going to be together ever and you’re pregnant with his kid. how could me being your friend help you at all, i just can’t be a good friend to you when i’m in love with you. I love you so much that i want to support you and help you through all of this but i just can’t do it. i can’t go through you loving another guy again, i can’t sit by as your “buddy” again, i can’t watch you have another mans child while i look at you longingly.

i guess i just have to move on and accept it wasn’t meant to be, i just never expected it to be like this. all i know is that i’ll never be able to listen to SZA the same way again. Summer 18’ will always live in my mind as ours. The jeep, the road trips....the sex, the weed. the pure unbridled happiness when i looked at you in the passenger seat.

i love you brooklyn, i’m sorry i can’t be there for you anymore. i need to heal, i need to find someone new, i need to move on. you’ll always be my girl, i just hope he makes you as happy as i would.

I’m not sure how to feel about this year. It was the most eventful in my life, so many ups and downs.

I’m 3 months sober now, that was about 12 months overdue. Honestly I’m surprised I didn’t get drug tested at all. I would have been so fucked. I’ve made the decision to seek help for my depression in 2021, I think that’s what had pushed me to live in the edge so much. Making bad decisions was the only way I felt like I was alive.

Totaling the jeep while driving drunk also made me realize I needed to start making better decisions. But all of it, everything about this year that sucked. The crash, the drugs, the money spent, the fucking coast guard being one of the dumbest decisions I made. None of it even compares to find out brooklyn is pregnant.

I hate to admit it, I love here more than anything in the world. I would have walked from Washington to utah just to be with her one more time. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so close to another person before. Now knowing that being with her isn’t possible anymore. I just don’t know how to react. I know 7 months ago it would have been about a thousand dollars of cocaine and somehow not getting arrested by the end of the week. Now though? Idk I got drunk, sat at home and was just sad. I don’t feel the need anymore to do the drugs I do desperately would have reached out for earlier in the year.

I don’t know what 2021 holds. I know what I want though. I want love, I want someone to share my life with, I want road trips, and running. I want indie music, I wanna be myself with someone. I want brooklyn but that’s just not in the cards anymore. I want happiness. I hope it’s there for me.

catchymemes

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oniramas-blog

jonahreenders

the elwha flowing wild

Jonah Reenders

timberline-trail

Weird that I reblogged this over a year ago and now I live like 10 mins from this place. The universe is odd.

tiffanarchy

i didn’t make this

1010ll

archcracker

me looking at a blue checkmark

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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writhe

lookin for my twin flame. hmu if we’ve meet 1000s of years ago & have hung out every subsequent lifetime since. missing you

ihatejonarbuckle

He has been weakened.

nheyguys-deactivated20181204

succumb to the grain

ihatejonarbuckle

reblog to add a grain of rice

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