Dissociation Nation

if i think too hard about nikki’s experience in Obsession i feel physically ill. imagine one second you’re just walking up to your house after a night out, and then the next, you’re looking out of your own body, but you’re not longer in control. you’re a prisoner to a terrible, unnatural version of yourself that only exists because of a choice someone else made. when you scream, nobody listens. when you claw your way out for long enough to explain that this isn’t you, nobody listens. when you beg the man who trapped you in this situation to put and end to it, to set your free, he just. doesn’t. listen. and then when you do finally regain control, all your friends are dead, and you are covered in their blood. because of a choice someone else made

i used to tell myself ‘maybe they’re going through something’ but then i realized that i was too and i never treated anyone that way.