i’ve seen multiple posts floating around, as well as hearing things in private, involving the same person and for the safety of everyone in the community, i’ve finally decided to share my experiences on the matter. the reason i’ve come to this decision is seeing people continue to be hurt by this person is eating me up inside.
this post is not meant to incite any hate or threats towards this person, i am simply speaking about my experiences and am warning others before they interact with him, or if you’re already interacting with him.
dusk (@/dusktexanler) completely broke my trust and boundaries, as well as invalidated my identity, in the time that i was friends with him. i learned all of this from someone who is no longer active in the community, but who had met up with dusk and was with him when him and i first started talking. i won’t go into the details of her experience with him simply because it’s my not my place nor my story to tell, but i will recount what she told me he had said to her about me during the duration of her time with him. i will refer to the friend as susie from here on out for anonymity sake, and that all of what she told me was over the phone. i also learned about this after dusk and i had been friends for a few months.
the first thing susie told me that dusk had said to her was that he didn’t understand my identity as a he/him lesbian and said it was confusing, which completely contradicted how he acted towards me in our dms. i poured my heart out to him about my struggles with my gender identity and sexuality. he assured me that he understand what i was saying and that he viewed me as i had wanted to be perceived. only for him to tell susie that he was “confused but flattered” that a lesbian was so obsessed with him, and that he liked it. he then told her that he was attracted to femboys and tomboys, neither of which are terms i identify with, nor am i comfortable with. susie also told me that he had told her about a private conversation involving sexual topics that him and i had, which was a complete breach of my trust and made me feel so humiliated and used. i never gave him consent to discuss that with anyone, and it had taken me a lot of courage to even talk about it with him in the first place. to hear that he had completely invalidated both my gender and sexuality behind my back was an additional slap to the face.
on top of that, my own personal experience with him was that i felt like i was nothing more than a toy for him to use for kink talk and nothing else. despite him and i discussing many times how important it is to have real connections with people in the community, when i would try to have normal conversations about his hobbies or personal life, it always immediately would shift back to him teasing me or talking kink. and i eventually would stop messaging him first to see how long it would take him to reach out. weeks and weeks would go by and i would hear nothing.
i have also heard many things from several people in the community who feel as if their boundaries have been broken by dusk, but i won’t go into detail as that is their story to tell if they so wish to do so.
the nail in the coffin for me was this post, which quite frankly i am still so disgusted that it didn’t gain more traction and outrage from people. after this, i sent dusk a very long message airing out my grievances before blocking him on everything. i will admit right off the bat that i did not give him a chance to explain his side of things, which you can have your opinions on and be skeptical of, i totally get that. but i have a lot of anxiety around confrontations, especially with men. and given all of the information i was given, my decision was already made. i just wanted to include this information for transparency.
i want to reiterate that i’m not posting this for the sake of drama or for pity. i’m posting this as a warning, because i know so many people who have had horrible experiences with him and are too afraid to speak up about it. i’m so sick of hearing more and more people behind the scenes be hurt by dusk and nothing coming out of it. i know i don’t have any receipts, and it’s essentially my word against his. i know that puts me at a disadvantage, which is entirely why i’ve been afraid to post this for months now. but i feel like i have a responsibility to warn other people about his behavior, because i don’t want anyone else to go through what i have went through. do what you will with this information, and if you still plan on interacting with him after reading this, please don’t interact with me or my posts.
thank you for taking the time to read this.
