unfuckwittable

i’ve never really been depressed nor do i know what it feels like. but i get in these moods where i just don’t fucking know.

and i just want to cry. and i can’t.

last night, i was trying to open up to someone i feel like i care about and they made a joke about it. a joke. about me feeling like i might be depressed. and it wasn’t funny. it hurt my feelings. really fucking hurt my feelings. and he doesn’t even know it. i wanted to talk to him today about the situation, but of course, if it’s not about him he doesn’t want to talk. and i’m tired. yet i keep settling. i wouldn’t say i get used, but i do get emotionally abused. people use my emotions and me caring as my weakness, and i guess it is a weakness. but it’s not fair to take advantage of and abuse my emotions.

new moon spread. 09.28.2019.

after the week i’ve had, i found peace after writing in my journal. after this spread, more peace was found. because now i know i’m truly okay.