COMPASSION.

“Which part?”

I’m okay. Let’s start there. 

But I’ve been having crippling headaches for six days now, I’m seeing a neurologist tomorrow to hopefully get some answers. I’ve been on bed rest for two days now, as I’m not able to sit up or stand for very long due to the pain. 

I was in the ER last Friday and they ruled out anything life threatening so that’s good, but I’m still fucking terrified. They didn’t give me anything for pain until I went to Urgent Care yesterday, and the pain pills are helping a little but not much. 

I don’t want to go on hiatus, but my activity is going to be slow or non-existent until we figure this out. 

Vader let out a tired sigh as he rubbed at his face. Of course Padme would ask him to destroy his Master. To be fair it was something he had already been working on, as it was the way of the Sith to destroy their Masters.

“Where was that request twenty years ago, Padme? I told you I wanted to destroy him then, and you refused it. Back then I didn’t have four prosthetic limbs.” Back then he hadn’t tried to kill Obi-Wan yet. Back then he was stronger…more arrogant than he had any right to be, but stronger nonetheless.

“I didn’t know, Ani. I was ignorant to what his survival would mean for the galaxy. I wanted him to face trial, pay for his actions, but there’s no one for him to answer to anymore. I wanted to do it the right way, but as of now our only option is his destruction, and Vader’s.” 

Stubbornness was a trait that was thick in his family. It was something that Kylo could not get away from.

“Very well. Welcome to the First Order, Nana. I’m sure we’ll find a place for you. Perhaps have you use those aggressive negotiation skills to our advantage against the Resistance.” He said. “Also traitors will be terminated, no matter who they are. I suggest you keep in mind where you loyalty belongs and that you made this choice. Come. Lets find you a uniform.”

Oh, if he thought he could out stubborn her, then they were in for a fight. 

“No, we won’t be finding me a uniform.” she says sternly, “I have conditions. I wear my own clothes, I’m to be treated with the respect I’ve earned, and I won’t be doing your dirty work. My loyalties have and always will lie with what’s good for the galaxy.” 

She sets him with a hard look, “Otherwise, you will treat me as the prisoner you think I am.” 

Padme let out a soft ‘oomph’ as she was pressed back against a wall. She stared up at him and shook her head, unflinching, “We can’t do this, Anakin.” she insisted again, even though her heart was racing against the cage in her chest. 

She had her duties, he had his oaths. It was forbidden. There was a laundry list of things standing between them. And she was apparently the only one aware of this list, from the way he was acting. 

        it wasn’t easy to track her. in fact, luke was certain for a long time that he wasn’t ever going to. when obi-wan had informed him that his mother was, in fact, still alive, he’d made it his mission to track her down. she was a part of his mysterious past that he desperately wanted to put together. in order to save his father, he believed finding his mother would be essential in doing so. she could change the whole fabric of the universe —– she could change everything.

          but luke, of course, was surprised by her reaction, though thinking about it now, perhaps he couldn’t really blame her. he’d been tracking her for days now and only until recently did he realize that she may have figured that out. he’d hoped to remain conspicuous, but it didn’t look like that was going to happen. instead, he came face to face with her —- well, as much as her hood would reveal, anyways. 

          he holds up his hands in front of him, lightsaber fastened at his belt securely. he didn’t go to grab it. he wasn’t going to  fight his own mother, after all. 

          “ don’t worry, i’m not going to blow your cover. my name is luke… luke skywalker. i’m your son. ”

Padme lowered the blaster slowly, suspicious. Her eyes narrowed, frowning a little deeper. Of all the people she thought could be following her, her son was not on that list. She’d, of course, heard rumors of a boy named Luke from Tatooine who had destroyed the empire’s latest weapon, and she had just known he was a Skywalker.

But now, faced with him, she didn’t know what to do. Seeing that his hands were clear, that he wasn’t making a move to reach for the weapon on his side, she slipped her blaster back into it’s holster and lifted her hands. She removed her hood in one swift motion so she could look at him clearly. 

She could see Anakin in his face, the shape of his jaw, his eyes, his nose, everything. She tilted her head as she inspected him, he wasn’t as tall as Anakin had been but he was still taller than her. Even with the resemblance, she’s hesitant. Unsure. 

Still shadowed in disbelief, Rey shrugs her shoulders. She knows Padme is right, to some extent, but the reminder of her previous failure still hangs over her. No matter how close she’d actually gotten, she’d still failed. Ben had turned away from her. She’d never taken his hand.

“…I don’t want to see him fall. Not when there’s still good in him.” she mumbles, rolling the japor snippet between her fingers. A thought strikes her then, one she hadn’t figured to ask before.

“Can you reach out to him?” she blurts suddenly, “With the Force? Leia can. She said she tried to do it once…on the bridge of the ship…you can do it too, can’t you? You could try and speak to him. Tell him to come home.”

Not when there’s still good in him. If Padme could sum up her experience with Skywalker boys, that would be the sentence that did it. She smirks, letting out a single huff of laughter, then shakes her head. There had been good in Vader, he just realized it too late. And there had been so much good in Luke. Her heart hurts for them, both of them, and all the wasted time. 

Padme shakes her head at Rey’s next question, “I’m not gifted in the force like my children. They got that from their father.” She hates to disappoint her but, “I doubt I’d have any more luck than his mother did, if I could. He’s long forgotten the love I have for him.”