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just having a tea and cookie now bc of the lack of options

#this part of the term makes me so anxious i hate wasting food #going to probably have a yoghurt bowl later #and then i can use my onions in the tomato soup im going to make

decided to make myself feel better by looking at Jeremy strong clips and now im cackling like a hyena in bed

#he really is everything to me #I could listen to him describe something for hours what an idiolect he possesses #a merry prankster.

nocturnaltigerrevelation

>have problem

>recognize it as part of my divine punishment

>no problem

also i dressed up in cute clothes today and did interesting makeup in my room and now wondering why i hadnt been doing that all year

#think i was really just going through the motions for most of my time here which is sad #like i really wanted to leave the house and become who i really am but i think im strangely uncomfortable with expressing myself #and now im going to go home for months and regress all the way back to square one 😭#i really do need something to change bc i cant do that anymore #have to get my licence and a job at all costs. bc at least i'll be outside of the house #ughhh i just hate the thought that i spent my whole life under such strict control and now im enforcing it on myself when i dont have to #when right now in this moment i dont have a single obligation and i have a fair amount of money that i saved #and i literally feel too scared to do anything for 0 reason #usually people who grew up the way i did go crazy when they get freedom.

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okay randomly locked in and did stuff i was meaning to do for a while

#tested my driving instructor about lessons lets see what she says #also sorted out my tutoring #and emailed about getting counselling. still have to do a form before appointment and who knows how long the waiting times are #i dont really want to do it in the vacation

lowkey started uncontrollably crying in the shower

#kind of thinking about actually trying to get counselling from the university bc clearly im not managing on my own #and might as well use the services i have access to

realised white people were smiling at me on my walk today to show they arent one of the bad ones bc of this fucking debate coming up im in tears

#valid ig.#bc it never happens to me and then today twice white people smiled at me and said hi walking past #to the point i had to be like 'do i know them' . thats killing me so bad #its crazy theyre shutting down streets here tomorrow and everything.#i just dont understand why the union insists on platforming this bs. like what useful discussion is tommy robinson really going to add #just discourse for the sake of discourse it adds nothing of substance to the world #and no other groups existence gets debated and questioned like this. really makes you Think.

that video of the owner crying after the police shot her dog is so fucking sad bro.....

#genuinely why are american police the most fragile overdramatic reactive freaks ever

i literally cannot look at that photo of taylor from the graham norton show where her face is all messed up from the fillers. its not even funny omg

#what are we doing to our women.#like she did not need to touch her face ever 😭#god that was such a humiliation releasing the worst album of the year then looking like a mess in public those were dark days #bc its like at this point in your career why did someone not advise you to not change ur face right before public appearances #snakes in the camp fr #yeah really bad #its crazy bc it should have been a victory lap for her #bc on the face of it your album is huge youre getting married finally but everything going to shit behind the scenes #she really cant afford another era like that no shade. break out the acoustic guitar and go back to the woods for the next album girl #she needs the goodwill back #and try not to talk about travis if you can help it bc no one likes that relationship except parasocial middle aged white women

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still havent gone and made lunch bc im feeling so lazy

#and idk what i should do after eating #more walking? im already at 11k steps after this morning #i never want to leave my room once im in it tho like it was so hard this morning #but i had so much fun on my walk i wanted to go for a few more hours but i got hungry

had a really nice walk tbh

#went in the park farm bit of university parks for the first time aside from that one time i tried and it was super flooded #it was so nice like the fields and everything and i was pretty much the only person there #anyways im hungry now idk what to eat #could make a quesadilla with tomato soup but it feels to hot for that #maybe a tuna wrap

expectations after less is so needed bc I would have genuinely ended my shit otherwise

#walking through the park on the verge of tears wtff #the glaze for this record will never end from me bc it just gets better and better #I feel like im having the emotional reaction you’d have in a first listen #and it’s like my tenth or something 😭#yeah what’s wrong with me is a real highlight only real depression havers understand

lowkey hungry again but genuinely have zero options so just going to sleep

#diet just been atrocious recently #at least I had some peppers with hummus before my chicken nugget dinner #but in the morning I had krave cereal and two cookies and a strawberry matcha…#and then I finished my maltesers..#just straight up sugar so bad.#like why am I so addicted to it genuinely #it’s best when I don’t bring anything sweet from the shops #but then psychologically I just feel hungry after dinner

the way people act when you talk about sza being one of the greatest songwriters out right now is literally just racism.

#mind you im not a great sza fan by any measure but her writing is undeniable #people just look down on her because they think her music is somehow 'lowbrow' and thats only because she has a black audience...#like if it was all white girls singing along to these songs the reception to her would be very different #anyways thank you olivia rodrigo for bringing that up you are correct as always

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sternenrot

Our massacres are only interrupted by commercial breaks. Judges legalize them. Correspondents kill us with passive voice. If we are lucky, diplomats say that our deaths concern them, but they never mention the culprit, let alone condemn the culprit. Politicians, inert, inept, or complicit, fund our demise, then feign sympathy, if any. Academics stand idle. That is, until the dust settles, then they will write books about what should have been. Coin terms and such. Lecture in the past tense. And the vultures, even in our midst, will tour museums glorifying, romanticizing what they once condemned, what they did not deign to defend—our resistance—mystifying it, depoliticizing it, commercializing it. The vultures will make sculptures out of our flesh.

mohammed el-kurd: perfect victims and the politics of appeal

tonight i wanna daaanceee for youuuuuu

#4 is the best album ever oh my godd #still her number one to me fuck the noise.

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