But where does that leave you?

Because now you’re the one with shaking hands and soft words, trying not to be bitter, trying to be kind to people who never learned how to be kind to you,trying to heal while still making excuses for the people who cracked you open and maybe they didn’t mean to hurt you, maybe they were hurt too. But it still hurts.

And no one warns you about the guilt. How you’ll feel selfish for wanting to be angry, how you’ll sit with your grief like it’s something you stole, how you’ll wonder if you’re allowed to say “that wasn’t fair” without sounding ungrateful for the love they tried to give.

I'm tired of being the bigger person, tired of swallowing the screams just because they loved me in their own way.

My father... We didn't get along. Frankly, there were times when I downright hated his guts. We never resolved things. This is the first year I'll be older than he was when he died. But I'd give years off my own life if we could have one more argument. So, my plan was to finish this mission, then sit in a fishing cabin on Setlik II's ice moon, bring a good bottle of whiskey and have that talk.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds/Lower Decks crossover

Mariner: Holy shit! we’re on the enterprise, and thats spock! Wheres Kirk?

Pike: Uh, sam kirk?

Mariner: Who? No the kirk, the captain.

Pike: I’m captain pike.

Mariner: who?

Boimler: oh! (Turning to mariner) hes the one that spock kidnapped and- i mean, hes the captain of course!

Mariner: oh! I didnt recognize him without the uh (makes dalek shape motion)

Or

Boimler: oh my god its Doctor Chapel! Man Tindi would be losing her mind!

Chapel: its nurse Chapel actually

Mariner (elbows boimler): hah you hinted at the future again. Idiot.

Boimler (waving his hands mystically in front of chapels face) or did i?

Chapel (confused): did you?

Mariner (shrugs): who can say we’re from an alternate universe. Im sure its nothing you haven’t heard before.

Chapel: actually this is a first for me.

out in the garden there’s half of a heaven

the mandalorian ch. 23: the spies + text posts