Am I Alive

sound and color: afro/slash hood futurism; missy elliot and sun-ra, janelle monae's archandroid and alice coltrane

i saw things i imagined: surrealism, color and texture, fantasy worlds

dark and hungry roots: fae + goblins + creatures, they're in the woods and they want your name

she screams!: catch all horror tag, blood and guts and slashers

laughing before god does: a more specific gore and fleshy gross horror tag, inspired by cao hui

kate bush's wuthering heights: love so intense and passionate it extends beyond the grave; i hated him, i never loved him more; you want them dead, you want them beside you, you know,

put me back in it: tender, love and passion + sensuality + you're in love and you're gonna shout it from the roofs

one of those crazy girls: mad and bad women, women with murderous intent, final girls, whatever didn't kill her had better start running

ain't no grave: ghosts + hauntings + the absence of something is still a sort of presence

sweet honey buckin: the yeehaw agenda, cowboys

age of pleasure: sensuality + black joy and pleasure

les fleurs: black girl cottagecore, flowers and frilly dresses, sunshine on brown skin

journey through the secret life of plants: nature tag!

pure honey: it's giving cunt, it's giving sex, it's giving ballroom and pearls, sequins and rhinestones, eleganza!

i been on: (tell me who gon take me off!) ostentatious displays of wealth, logomania + dapper dan, gold ass watch, gold ass rangs

filth begets filth: family dynamics, siblings + parents + ancestral rot, you need a shovel to love your brother, does your mother love you all the time

i who bend the tall grasses: angels and demons, religious ecstasy, a god who devours

my skin my logo: black skin, brown skin, brown leather, black braids, black days! these are black owned things! black faith (can't be washed away, not even in that florida water!)

Responding to these tags.

In the middle of conflict, it’s important that both people feel heard. The problem isn’t wanting someone to understand your pain. The problem is when the conversation becomes entirely about your pain, to the point that there is no room left for the other person’s perspective or feelings.

Being understood is important. But conflict cannot be resolved if only one person’s feelings matter. This is the point I was trying to make.

I'm sharing activities from my book in case anyone finds them helpful. One thing with BPD I know a lot of us struggle with is the shifts in our identity over time or when we're with different people.

Optional Activity: The Parts That Remain

Take a few minutes to write down:

5 things you care about. These can be people, animals, hobbies, causes, goals, or even things that feel difficult to admit. Try to include a variety. Maybe you care deeply about your dog. Maybe you care about helping others. Maybe you care about finishing a course in school. Maybe you care what people think of you. Be honest. This is just for you and isn’t meant to come from a place of judgment. I felt a lot freer when I realized I do care about what people think about me.

5 things you enjoy. Think about foods, activities, interests, books, music, learning about certain topics, spending time in nature, or anything else that brings you enjoyment.

3 roles you have. Examples might include friend, partner, parent, sibling, student, employee, volunteer, artist, pet owner, or community member. If you can think of more than three, write those down too.

3 qualities you possess. These do not have to be things you're perfect at. Maybe you're curious, compassionate, determined, funny, creative, loyal, thoughtful, or willing to keep trying even when things are hard.

When you're finished, look over your list.

Ask yourself Would these things suddenly stop being true because I had a bad day? Because my emotions changed? Because I don't feel like myself right now?

The answer is probably no.