☙ pawn / queen

flowers grow back even when trampled & so shall i.

there are a number of contributing factors for my absence, from real-life stressors  &  time constraints leaving me with very little energy to spare,  to technological barriers as my very old laptop starts to decline in functionality,  to just general weird vibes persisting on the tumblr rpc in general  —  although i also want to stress that all of my mutuals are wonderful  &  supportive.

that’s why i’ve decided to make this post as a  HIATUS NOTICE.  i’m not sure when  or if  i will be back to tumblr rp.  longtime friends will know that i have taken breaks  &  even ‘quit’ before,  so it is possible that i may miss it  &  return,  but as of now i have to take a step back once again.

i want to strongly encourage any  &  all mutual followers who wish to remain friends to add me on discord  ( rosemary 🌿#7402 )  or message me if you would like to follow me on instagram ( which is the one social media account i still check with regularity ).

i want to thank all of my followers  &  friends for being so endlessly supportive of me,  whether i am active or not.  i hope that you all know that rp  &  the friends i have met through it have gotten me through some of the most difficult moments in my life,  &  i am endlessly greatful to you all both as individuals  &  as a community.

            There is a small smile, though perhaps there is some sadness to it too.  “Unfortunately most of life is, my dear.”

    UNDERSTANDING CREEPS IN SLOWLY,  but margaery  knows better  by now than to argue with her grandmother.  so instead she draws a slow breath,  then another,  forces her nerves to calm  &  her frown to smooth.  bit by bit,  she tucks away all traces of uncertainty  &  draws herself inward,  fingers interlaced over her body like a delicate shield.  holds herself together,  just as she’s been taught.

           strange to say that she prefers small spaces ,              that walls and ceilings feel comforting ,     like dirt pressing down on a grave she almost remembers .     she wasn’t meant to be walking around up here ,     not when fate said she should have died rather than left her childhood .                

             ❝   𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 ? ❞ 

                          SHE CAN FEEL IT SOMETIMES,  the need to break the rules  —  bend the expectations  —  like an itch just beneath her skin.  margaery has always fit herself carefully into the mold that her family had created for her,  places herself into the proper position with artful intent.  but every once in awhile,  she has to let slip that carefully fitted skin so she has  a little room to breathe.  ❝ not sure yet.  you never can tell until you make them, ❞  she answers,   mischief glinting in her wide brown eyes.  ❝ if you planned them,  they wouldn’t be mistakes. ❞

         Jamie turned from one of the horses in Winterfell’s stables to regard her thoughtfully. “ Well, I canna imagine I’ll have any more need for all these layers. ” A wry smile lit up his face. “ I might have to start taking pointers from you Southerners on how to cope with the heat. ”

        SHE CAN’T HELP BUT LAUGH,  surprised at jaime’s light response.  humor is a rare  &  welcome find amongst the stone walls of winterfell.  most of the northmen she had meet were rather dour,  unsmiling  &  serious  —  not that she can blame them,  given the current climate.  ❝ i think you would get used to it, ❞  margaery responds,  returning his smile gladly.  ❝ i have found that most people enjoy the warmer weather,  given some time to adjust. ❞

Name: rosemary

Nickname: ro, rosie, queen supreme

Age: 26

Faceclaim: for me? n/a.

Pronouns: she/they

Height: 5′2″

Birthday: june the 25th  ( a cancer ass bitch )

Aesthetics: oceans, forests, flowers, adventures, whales, books, long skirts

Favourite muse(s) you’ve written: asha greyjoy,  steve harrington,  margaery tyrell

What inspired you to take on your current muse (that you are posting this on): i originally started writing margaery in 2013 because i loved her as a character.  i loved how she was kind of ambiguous personality-wise because she’s such a people-pleaser,  &  i really wanted to get down into her own thoughts  &  motivations outside of the influence other people.  how she  really feels  about all that happens to her.  plus,  i thought she’d be fun to play against lots of other characters,  &  she is !

What are your favourite aspects of your current muse:  she is kind,  generous,  &  genuinely caring.  she is extremely privileged,  but actually cares about helping the less privileged.   she is also very smart,  &  capable of carefully manipulating how she presents herself in order to protect herself by keeping others’ perceptions of her positive,  but she is also a truly compassionate person whose ultimate goal is peace  &  prosperity for all.

What’s your biggest inspiration when it comes to writing:  plotting !  writing wouldn’t be half as fun without others’ ideas  &  perspectives.  that’s why i write rp,  not fanfic  — i really love to collab with friends !

Favourite types of threads:  things with heavy emotion of any kind, or lots of nuance  &  plot.

Biggest struggle in regards to your current muse: margaery is a  dream  to write,   it’s just... having the time  &  energy to write in general.

                     after the death of king robert baratheon  &  the disintegration of her first betrothal,  margaery found herself at storm’s end with his younger brother,  renly baratheon,  her brothers loras  &  garlan,  &  a tyrell host.  the intention had been to march on king’s landing,  but with the death of the king,  everything was suddenly very uncertain.  &  it was again renly who planned their next steps.

                                                although renly was king robert’s youngest brother  &  by law,  his brother stannis should be the king if his own children were not his true heirs,  renly believed that the people would never rally around stannis.  but if renly hoped to take the throne,  he would need a queen  &  an army.  &  so in one fell swoop,  margaery was rapidly wed to renly baratheon  &  crowned queen.

            renly was several years her senior,  but he was a kind  &  courteous  &  handsome,  &  he was also very close to her youngest brother,  loras,  &  anyone who loras trusted,  margaery knew must be a good man.  &  so she wanted nothing more than to be a good wife to him  &  a good queen to her new subjects.  this was what she had been raised to do.

                                 but it was soon obvious that her husband was not interested in cultivating a close relationship with his wife.  he was faithfully at her side,  taking her arm or kissing her hand when they were in public or amongst their men,  but never once did the king visit her tent.  indeed, he scarcely ever spoke to her when they were in private.  &  she had no idea what she had done to displease him so.  loras,  on the other hand,  was nearly always at renly’s side as a member of his kingsguard.  far from her home  &  surrounded by soldiers  &  strangers,  margaery had never felt so alone.

                 they marched to bitterbridge,  building the strength of their host to march on king’s landing  &  take the throne.  thanks to the tyrells,  theirs was among the largest armies in the seven kingdoms.  &  there were a great many forming in the chaos following robert baratheon’s death.  all along the march,  margaery tried desperately to connect honestly with her husband,  always to no avail.  it wasn’t until she confided her dismay in her brother loras that he confessed the true reason that renly had spurned her  —  renly was already in love with loras himself.

                                                                                  margaery loved her brother deeply,  &  she held no ill will for her husband,  but the situation left her feeling entirely hopeless.  how could she be happy with a man who was in love with her brother  &  therefore could scarcely look at her ?  how could she be a proper wife or a proper queen ?  she did not cast judgement on them,  only lamented her seemingly hopeless position.  margaery found herself desperate,  praying for a way out of her first marriage.

                                 &  once again,  margaery found her prayers were answered in a way that she could never have forseen.  renly’s older brother,  stannis,  spurned by his brother’s usurping of his claim,  moved to attack storm’s end in renly’s absence.  renly returns to storm’s end to defend it,  but while there,  he is slain by a shadow.  margaery was made a widow for the first time.  &  although she did not truly ever get the chance to know her husband,  she still grieved for him,  &  for her brother as well.  a part of her even felt as though she was somehow guilty of his death.  she had wished for a way out,  but had never intended anyone to be hurt.

                in the chaos that followed renly’s death,  margaery was quickly taken back to highgarden for her own safety. secretly,  she was glad for the chance to return home.  for she had missed her family  &   friends  &  the land she loved so much.  &  then,  she felt a bit guilty for feeling glad in the midst of such a tragedy.  but what margaery did not know at the time was that she was to continue to be a key element to her family’s plans for influence  &  power.

         he did not think this happiness could be possible ,              or that if it was possible ,     it would be something he would be allowed to possess .      every dream ,     every story that he would whisper to himself on cold nights have let him here ,     to where her cheeks upturn with the mere sound of his voice .      perhaps that’s why he’s even begun speaking more freely ,     around her .               ❝   poets or not ,     i do not know how i ever got so lucky .      you are more than i ever could have dreamt of . ❞

    HIS SMILE IS MIRRORED EXACTLY ON HER,  each of them all but  glowing  with joy.  in king’s landing,  they had to be cautious to always hold themselves carefully apart.  but here,  in their small house outside of the free city of pentos with a modest garden outside where she had finally coaxed some flowers to grow,  there was no need to restrain themselves from one another.  &  so they rarely did.  even now,  margaery moves to fold herself into his lap,  her legs draped across his  &  an arm wrapped loosely around his broad shoulders.  ❝ i feel  exactly the same, ❞  she responds,  her other hand spreading wide over his chest.  ❝ you know,  when i was a little girl i would have  dreams  of the husband i would someday have.  he was always a man with gentle hands  &  a kind smile  —  a man who was compassionate  &  honest  &  handsome  &  brave.  &  now look,  here you are.  only you’re better,  because you’re real. ❞