after the storm

I am always 30 minutes early to everything as I get anxious that I might be late and then the person I am meeting is always 15 minutes late and I am just standing there for ages hating myself

anyway, i love women. thanks for coming to my TED Talk

“Not All Men” you’re right. Kevin Spacey would never do this

As it turns out, Kevin Spacey would in fact do this

This fuckin aged like milk

woman seeking woman. i’m six feet tall, fashionable, and enjoy long walks through brackish estuary water off the coast of virginia

spoiler alert: it’s me

excuse you, gay marylander here, the chesapeake bay and its beautiful 6 foot tall woman are OURS

My hobbies include walking into adult men who assume I'll move out of their way as we pass.

in skyrim i married a homeless man and even though we are married and he lives in my huge fuckin house he still wears rags and asks me to give him 1 gold whenever i see him

that’s just what men are like

driving sux because you can get killed. thanks henry ford you fucking jackass.