I Am Not A Robot

Honestly I’m howling because this is exactly canon

sometimes, when i want to really treat myself, i turn my phone brightness up juust a little bit. i feel like i’m splurging. like i’m living a king’s life. sometimes i turn it up all the way and i’m like, “this is what god’s phone screen looks like.”

I got Rick Sanchez and I’ll burn down the government before I accept this

Ironically enough, that’s an incredibly Rick Sanchez thing to say

IT’S’ TREAT YO SELF DAY Y’ALL!!!!!! Everybody do something fantastic for themselves today!

I’ve read this before, but it’s just so refreshing.

I did this with Hot Fries. I bought 6 cases.

I do this with Flaming Hot Cheetos, Albanese, gummies, & Affy Tapples. I regret nothing.

This the funniest thing I’ve seen in months.

I laughed too fucking hard at this oh my god. This is me and gummy bears tho.

Dude said chill out 😂

bruh the lady closed the window AND locked it 😂😂😂

“I ain’t got no box cutter or nothing” 😭😭😭

For context: the s.s. el faro sunk in a tropical storm and that was the last thing that the ship recorded.

I hate you all

gandalf wins for dramatically removing his cape to reveal a second cape.

let’s have bingo raves

*electronic buildup* the next number is…… *music stops* G 45 *bass drops*