𝘽𝙐𝙂 👽

there’s a real deep anger in me. i hate it. i promise and promise and promise i’ll change but then i don’t even realise until ive already said the wrong thing. i’ve already shouted at him. he never really deserves it. i love him so much. when he leaves it will be my fault. i am trying so hard to love him the way he deserves but i fear i am too much my fathers daughter. i will still try. i need him so bad.

you’ve changed. why did you change?

i think you’ll live longer than me. i think i’m destined to rot here still madly in love with you.

id take care of your brain i promise, id hold it and cherish it. i’ll take care of you please let me

it hurts that you left, it hurts that you didn’t stay, i want to be near you. it feels like you can’t stand me.

i search for you in everything i consume. your imprint on a glass, your smell on my sheets, your hair in my bath. i miss you as much as i love you.

i love him so much. it was a third valentines. he got me a gold necklace. i wear silver.

i don’t like who i am. i wish i could be better. im trying.

i got drunk and crashed out. i lost my phone and had a breakdown. my head still hurts from the wall and my thighs from my nails. i hate who i am.

i dont want to leave. i want to stay. theres nothing for me there but im starting to think theres less for me here.