Thought with May

Everyone hates me for some reason. For the reason, I’ll never seem to understand, I've never done anything to hurt them, I’ve always been there when they need me the most. No matter how big the problem was/is I got them, but my loyalty doesn’t seem to matter to anyone. Everyone wants sweet and bubbly, but that's just not me. I may not be sweet or bubbly, but you need me. You use me. When your health is rolling down a big hill you come and make me think that everything and everyone has told you finally got through your head, but it didn’t. As soon as the doctor gives you the clear, you go back to that sweet, bubbly bitch and leave me in the dust. I may not be sweet or bubbly or have any color. But god damn it I am important to your life. I am water.

This is a story about a boy and a girl that learned about each other's souls. They started out getting butterflies every time they saw each other. They grew together and fell madly in love with one another. They told each other their deepest, darkest secrets. They had trust, love, and passion for each other, but one thing they lack was commutation. You may be thinking how well talking about all the negative things they both did was hard for them. Not because of they admitting their wrings but because neither of them liked focusing on the negative, they both are naturally happy, positive people; because of this, the physical relationship died. However, the love and passion that they had for each other is still there and probably stronger than ever now. As for the trust, they have both done stuff to break that which happens in a toxic relationship. Regardless of whatever happens between them, that’s still her fu booty and his baby girl.

Some people look at you like its something you put on your face. I look at it as a form of art. The artistry that goes into it, the time. Knowing which products work for you and your skin type, then trying to see if that product plays well with others. The brush you need to complete a look, figuring out which for you. The right one for blush, contour, bronzer, highlight, etc. Do you prefer a brush or a sponge to apply your foundation? And let's not forget the amount of time we spend blending so everything comes out seamless. All and all makeup isn't just something you put on your face its an art, a beautiful one at that.

Well, that didn’t turn out too bad, I hope.

You’re here, welcome. The excitement, rush has been having me planning everything that I was to start or thing that I have finally put to bed. Simply because they have been on my mind for a way too long and its time to focus on something different. Mostly because I need a new feeling. You know that feeling, the feeling when you get soo excited that you get nervous. Here’s a secret about me, I crave that feeling. It makes me feel important. I know you’re probably dying to know what my goals are for the year. Here’s the thing I've decided to not to share them. Heres why, I don't want anyone to disturb my focus. I also, want to practice moving silently. Just know I have big plans/goals for the year that I will be working for and manifesting. Actually, I will tell you one thing, mostly because I want to talk about it with you. I want to start talking to the universe more. I wanna know her to a more personal level. She knows everything about me and helps me through so much that I wanna know if I could help her. This is the part where you might think that I’m on something; however, I’m not I picky promise. Here’s my thought process behind it; we as humans ask for so much/ except so much, that we never take a step back and ask if anyone else needs anything. Whether it's just a stranger or your mom. This comes from focusing on yourself and only yourself, which is fine but I personally think that there a balance and should be a balance. The balance is to simply know how today no when you don't want to do something and to remember to offer help because you aren't the only person going through difficult times. Moral of the story is, be a good person.

2018 you were a hell of a year. Full of ups and downs, but a year that I needed more than anything. 

Having confidence in yourself, your work, your relationships, or just life its self is truly an inspiring blessing.  

A feeling that if your lucky you get to experience at least a few times in your life. I've experienced twice; not that I've only had two boyfriends but two that i can say that i loved. The first one was in eighth grade (i know 12 years dont know what love is but i think its something that you just know). He was sweet, kind, and i could tell that he was really down for me at the time. He was tall, dark skinned and had a beautiful smile. He made feel wanted, like thousands people could be in the room but i had he's uninvited attention which was dope. Things took a turn for the worse and we broke up. The second was a time when I thought i found the one. Again tall, dark skinned and had a beautiful smile (you can i see i have a type). He was the only person the i truly felt comfortable with, he was someone who i opened up about a lot of shit and im a scorpio so you know it was real. Again shit happened and we broke up and i was a mess. Luckily i have the most amazing friends that helped me through it. For anyone who is going through a break up just know that you ARE worth it and you will find love again. Love is crazy, beautiful, passionate, and simple a beautiful thing.