thoughts of manda

so jensen was answering a fan’s question…

and everyone around him gets rowdy with their phones…

and he yells at them but turns out the fans were holding glow sticks and waving them, so they decided to take pictures of them, probably to show their wives when they get back but little did they know…

the fans were actually saying Always Keep Fighting.

so everyone starts clapping, obviously, a very touching moment between the cast and the fans but within seconds everyone is over it probably because of the time schedule…

Everyone

Always Keep Fighting my friend. We love you.

So there’s a depressed person in your life. This can be hard! As a depressed person, I know that I am sometimes a yawning chasm of neediness and tears. It’s entirely possible that you have never had this kind of predicament in your relationships before, or that you’re a veteran but need some support. Either way, here are some tips (courtesy of some messages from my mother, which did 100% the wrong thing).

Don’t:

Assume you know what’s bothering them. You probably don’t. Fun fact: with depression, there’s rarely a “thing” that’s bothering us. It’s usually a huge conglomeration of things.

Use phrases like “You’re just making yourself miserable!” or “How about looking at the positive?” or “What is being angry REALLY doing for you?” They are not only minimizing the depressed person’s very real predicament, but condescending, patronizing, and alienating besides.

Speaking of minimizing… Telling a depressed person that they’re being irrational, overreactive, or melodramatic feels a lot like being slapped and will cause a depressed person to close off and feel worse. Depressed people are usually hypersensitive to whether or not their reactions are perceived as “ridiculous” to begin with, but we don’t have a lot of control over them. Mostly, if we start getting tearful or angry over something that seems small to you, we’re just as frustrated by our reaction as you might be. 

Be brusque, or try “tough love.” It won’t work. It will make the situation worse and make us feel like shit about ourselves, besides.

Assume that you can treat depression like a bout of the sads. It’s not as simple as that. It’s a chemical imbalance that we can’t talk ourselves out of, or sleep off, or brush aside. It hurts. It’s there all the time.

Do:

Be aware that what helps and what doesn’t varies from person to person. The following list are suggestions, but are by no means universal rules.

Wait for us to talk to you if we come to you. Often, depressed people have a hard time vocalizing what’s wrong. Sometimes literally all we need is someone to cry on.

Be empathetic. Understand that depression is a hard, exhausting thing to battle, and that gentle reassurance or a comforting text or a small gesture of appreciation can go a long way. 

Reach out with support, and ask what you can do to help. If the answer is “nothing” (and it might be because we don’t always know what can be done to help) ask what you can do to help us move forward past this one hard moment — sometimes that thing is a hug, sometimes that thing is a rewatch of Clueless, and sometimes that thing is a crisis hotline. The important thing is to ask. Simple things that show we are loved and valued by you can be huge.

Reach out for support. This is a universal thing both for depressed people and for people who are trying to be supportive of people with depression. It can be really, really fucking hard, and a huge strain on a relationship (both ways, when one person feels like they can’t meet another’s needs and the other feels like their needs aren’t being met). But there are always people who are there to lend a shoulder; whether those people are family and friends, a therapist, or a crisis counselor, they’re there.

Here are some numbers.

Sam Winchester is a precious flower.

12 Celebrities Who Are Helping End the Stigma of Mental Illness (x)

1 of 12: Jared Padalecki and Depression The Supernatural and Gilmore Girls actor has struggled with depression, telling Variety an experience he had when he was 25 and filming the third season of Supernatural:

“ We were shooting an episode, and I went back to my trailer to get changed and just kind of broke down. A doctor came to set and talked to me for about 30 minutes or 45 minutes and said: Jared, I think you’re clinically depressed. I think I should write you a note and we can shut down production for five days and then we can take it from there. And it kind of hit me like a sack of bricks. I mean, I was 25 years old. I had my own TV show. I had dogs that I loved and tons of friends and I was getting adoration from fans and I was happy with my work, but I couldn’t figure out what it was; it doesn’t always make sense is my point. It’s not just people who can’t find a job, or can’t fit in in society that struggle with depression sometimes.”