Thoughts of a Sinister Person

I think I’ll write here when I have something to write.

Nothing to say. Mabye I’ll have a new guitarist in my band.

Today I bought a Che Guevara t-shirt for my mother. She’s birthday is the first Spring day. I hope she will like that, but I think I’m sure.  Today I also slept a lot, so I think I won’t sleep tonight. That’s not good, I haven’t new movies to watch. 

There’s a girl that said me ‘culture is more exciting than the ‘great muscled men’. Sounds good eheheheheh!

Today’s playlist:

Yeah, I’m listening to my favourite Marilyn Manson record, ‘Mechanical Animals’. I bought that CD for 4 euros. That aphrodisiac music...

Today was a boring day, as the same as the others. I have no money to go to Venice to see my friends, but they can live without me, the fake happy clown. I remember a quotation of a friend: ‘Are you really depressed as you want to show? I don’t think so. You’re so funny!’ Mission complete. Next step: be happy for real without illusions. I feel like Ned Vizzini or Robin Williams, my smiles are so fake and they’re pure therapy.

Marilyn Manson says that there are pills to make you numb, to make you dumb and to make you everyone you want, but all the drugs in this world won’t save you from yourself. 

Nothing to say.

Nothing to say. All the days are just the same. I’m so bored. I rest in my room almost all the day... In bed, at the pc, listening music or reading something. I think I’m going to caress my scars. I don’t want summer, the people don’t watch other on me. I have an ex girlfriend who is writing me right now. I just want to have violent sex with her but nothing. Obviously. 

I usually sleep at 3:00 am, I don’t want to wait. I hate these days. Today I watched the sky for almost an hour, it was beautiful. I love spring. I love when the wind moves my hair. But I feel nothing, I don’t like that... I want to feel something... Good or bad... But there’s nothing... Nothing. Zero.

Listening to Sopor Aeternus & The Ensemble of Shadows right now.

Hecate Enthroned -  Upon Promeathean Shores (Unscriptured Waters)

Sunset right now.

Mishima Yukio - La Dimora delle Bambole

First day on Tumblr. The lesson of the day for my family is: ‘you must to be forced to make things like going to the funerals, you can’t think only about yourself.’ Yeah, that’s cool dude. But I still think I’m depressed because I think too much to the others. 

I can’t to be forced to go to a funeral. People in general can’t to be forced to go to funerals. By the way the church was full of people that loved the deceased. She was really loved.