My Life in Prythian - Chapter Thirty-Four
Summary: there's a lot of feelings here
Okay maybe I had ulterior motives in inviting Eris to lunch.
Some of them might have been that I loved the way Azriel seemed to squirm, obviously intent on keeping whatever the two of them had a secret, and the strange comforting feeling Eris seemed to evoke in me. I also wanted to keep the conversation from focusing on Azriel and I considering that, even if the tea was working it’s calming magic on me, I was fully aware a fullblown panic attack regarding the ‘l’ word still hovered at the edge of my sanity.
I decided to ignore all of that, however, and pretend I only invited him out of politeness in return for his gifts he had brought me.
It was better living in Delulu Land rather than face any of the aforementioned reasons.
When we arrived at the House of Wind I rushed to George’s enclosure to find him waiting for me. He looked up at me with those big froggy eyes of his and smiled.
“Hi sweet baby boy,” I cooed as I reached in to grab him.
The slimy feeling of his skin against mine and his little body nestling into my grip had me feeling elated as I turned to present him to Eris. “Eris, this is my son, George. George, this is our friend, Eris.”
Eris stared at George for a few moments, unblinking and expression blank, before a giant smile lit up his entire face. An honest to gods smile filled with a bunch of shiny teeth and even a dimple in his cheek filled the face of the normally smug son of the most irritating high lord. It transformed him from tortured soul to delighted young male in seconds which had me smiling right back at him, pleased I had garnered this response.
“Well, he’s quite cute,” Eris complimented, eying George with a look akin to utter delight. “Obviously he takes after his mother in that regard.”
Azriel stared between the three of us, brows furrowed and shadows rippling around him as I held out George to Eris. “Would you care to hold him?”
“Of course,” Eris nodded, reaching for my sweet child.
I handed him over, pleased to see the ease in which he gathered George into the palm of his hand. George eyed Eris for a moment before he gave a little froggy nod and licked his eye balls. “Aw, he likes you!” I grinned.
Azriel glared. “I thought you said he liked someone if he pees on them.”
I shrugged. “He shows his affection in different ways. Eris, would you like to carry him to lunch?”
Producing the small basket with the velvet lined pillow that the house had conjured for George, I handed it over. “Here, he likes to ride around in this. Now, let’s get going. I’m starved.”
Not long later, we ended up at a little cafe along the river not too far from Feyre’s studio and selected to sit outdoors on the patio that overlooked the water. The waitress had eyed George inside his basket when we had arrived and had looked ready to protest before she had seen who was carrying said basket of frog and had thought better of it. Now George and his basket were perched on the tray of a highchair and he had a few tasty looking bugs that he was enjoying while we waited for our lunch to be brought out.
Azriel eyed him. “Did we have to bring him? He would’ve been fine at home.”
“Azzie, I was away from him all morning. I’m sure he missed me and he deserves to get out of the house every once in a while too. He needs fresh air.”
“You could release him down by the water,” he suggested, gesturing towards the river. “I am sure he would find all his slimy little froggy friends soon and he would get all the fresh air, all the time.”
Eris, seeming to sense an argument, reached over and tickled George under his chin affectionately. “Don’t worry little guy, if mommy and daddy start fighting you can come stay with Uncle Eris. I’ll give you all the bug treats your little heart can desire.”
“I’m not his father,” Azriel corrected. “And you are sure as fuck not his uncle.”
“Fine,” I glared, folding my arms over my chest. I had had quite enough of this talk about our son from Azriel. “If you don’t want to be his father then Eris can be. Right, Eris?”
“That depends, do I get access to his mommy then, too?” he winked.
Azriel looked ready to combust at that and I thankfully spotted the waitress with our food. “Ah, there it is!” I pointed out, hoping to change the subject.
Everyone fell into silence as our food was delivered and we started to eat. Upon the first bite of the sandwich I had ordered I realized just how hungry I was and demolished the entire thing in moments. Before I could even look longingly at Azriel’s plate Eris was scooping a large portion of his past onto mine without even asking, then went back to eating his few remaining bites like nothing had happened. As I looked at him, Azriel gave me a hefty portion of his chicken.
George even nudged one of his bugs towards me, which I politely nudged back towards him.
Diving back into my now full plate, I felt very taken care of by all my guys.
Once lunch was over I demanded a walk by the river, just to see if there were other frogs for George to meet, and was pleased when everyone agreed. Eris picked up George and his basket once more before linking his fingers with mine again and Azriel grabbed my other hand, not to be outdone, which left me walking between the two of them hand in hand down the riverwalk feeling like the luckiest person in the world.
I was the luckiest male in all of Prythian.
My mate, though she did not know she was my mate, was holding my hand out in public with the sun shining down on us and the soft breeze from the river on our cheeks. She chatted absently was we walked, pointing out little animals and sea creatures alike to her George, who sat idly in his basket looking towards each thing she pointed at. On her other side Azriel walked silently, brooding and moody as always.
I felt a bit bad for him considering what I had walked in on earlier. It had been evident that something he had said had set her off and he had seemed virtually clueless on how to fix it. It was obvious he cared for her and there was little doubt in my mind that there was something more serious in play than just an infatuation between them, though how that factored into my mate bond with her I had no idea.
If I were him I would be pissed as hell.
Not only was I obviously flirting with her since I couldn’t help it, there was also the unsolved issues between the two of us. Sure, we had come to terms with what had happened that night, but that didn’t mean he had forgiven me for what I had done and I sure as fuck hadn’t forgiven myself. Yes, everything I had done was for my court. That didn’t mean I didn’t feel guilty about it.
Azriel was a wonderful person and an incredible lover. If the world were a more perfect place, I never would have left him that night and we would have had so much time, so many memories together. Although, if I hadn’t left him that night who knows if either of us would have met Hailey and that wasn’t a reality I wanted to consider.
“Oh look!” Hailey exclaimed, pointing to a tidepool in the sand and rocks not too far off. “Another frog! Maybe him and George are friends.”
“Why don’t you take George over there for a froggy play date?” Azriel suggested.
Hailey nodded enthusiastically and grabbed his basket before either of us could blink, rushing over and squatting near the edge of the tidepool to talk to the frogs.
Which left Azriel and I alone for the first time in a long time.
He rounded on me instantly.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he hissed.
“What does it look like?” I shrugged as I slid my now empty hands into my pockets. “I’m sure that you already know my intentions towards her.”
He nodded slowly, his gaze focused on her once more as she laughed at something George did. “I’m aware of your mate bond.”
The words sounded forced, like he was reluctant to say them outloud and I did not blame him for that. Sighing, I cast my gaze towards the sky. “I did not chose her, Azriel.”
“No, you did not, and yet she fits all of your needs, doesn’t she? In your game to overthrow your father and take his title, she would be the perfect pawn in inciting your people to rally behind you. She’s female, for one, and she fits the beauty standards of your court. I’m sure your people would be so pleased to see tiny redheaded high lord children running around, catching frogs and accidentally setting things on fire.”
“She is not a pawn. Fuck, how can you even say that? She’s…everything. Yes, I want to get rid of Beron and take over so I can provide a better life for the people of my court, that is no secret. Having her by my side would obviously help that cause and I am pleased that I finally have some hope in fulfilling my goals. With that being said I will not use her or manipulate her to form a narrative just to achieve those goals. If she wishes to be with me, if she feels any affection for me, I want it to come naturally. From there if she wishes to help me I would owe her everything. If not, I would be content with her remaining in my life while I try to work out another plan.”
He was silent for a few moments, his gaze locked on her and refusing to meet mine, before he finally said, “And where do I fit into all of this?”
“Preferably on her other side, supporting her and I through it all.”
His sudden intake of breath told me he had not expected this answer.
Looking over I met his hazel gaze with my own and said softly, “It is no secret that I still hold affection for you, Azriel. What we shared that night was special and I have not forgotten it. The only reason I have not pursued you is that it would complicate the standing of my foothold in my court, and in light of recent events it’s more important than ever that Beron gives up his power.”
“And you think your people would accept me by your side if she was there too?”
“I know they would. There are recorded instances of such pairings in our courts history. My grandfather had two mates, and his mother before him, who was heir to the title, did as well. It actually seems rather common prior to Beron, and he is the one that went against tradition. I have little doubt that my people would accept you as long as she is with us. Their values lay in the potential for offspring from the union, that is all. As long as there is a chance for a child, they will accept anything.”
Silence fell between us again as we both turned our gaze to watch her. She had taken off her shoes and was now walking between other tide pools, one frog in each hand as she chatted on to them both.
Finally, Azriel spoke. “I am not sure how to approach her about this. I hinted to her that I was open to adding another person to our coupling, and she seemed interested yet hesitant. She’s… unsure of herself, sometimes. When she looks at me when she thinks I do not notice, she gets this expression like she isn’t entirely sure if all of this is real, or if she’s waiting for me to tell her I no longer want her. Other times when I try to assure her I do, or express my admiration for her, she gets this panicked look like she might bolt at any moment. It’s difficult walking that line with her.”
“She’s still figuring out how she fits into this world,” I observed. “Think about it, she got displaced from her entire life and ended up in a world she thought was entirely make believe. Nearly instantly she ends up in a high ranking position, has a shadow wielding male telling her he’s obsessed with her, and feels…something, for me. It’s got to be confusing for her.”
“You’re right, of course,” he grumbled, sounding none too pleased about admitting that. “Perhaps I am moving too quickly for her and overwhelming her without offering the smaller reassurances first before getting into the bigger commitments.”
“You basically pissed all over her to claim her as yours with that bite on her neck,” I pointed out. “Not to mention the way you’re constantly grabbing her to show possession, and yet by the look on her face when you said you were taking her to lunch, you have yet to actually court her. Females need to be wooed, Azriel. They need hearts and flowers, romantic dinners and afternoon strolls. You have to convince them that life with you is better than life without you. You can’t just pick one and declare she is yours without courting her first, without convincing her.”
“And if I do all that, how do you factor in?”
“I plan on being her friend. She likes me, there is no denying that, and she likes the idea of the two of us. Eventually she will come to the same conclusion we both did; the three of us together is the obvious answer to everything.”
“I will remain her friend and find another way to remove Beron. My wish is to remain in her life in some capacity, even if only as a friend, for I cannot imagine my life without her in it now that I have known otherwise. She is everything to me, Azriel. Everything. No matter what she wants to give me I will be grateful for it.”
“I understand,” he murmured. “I will court her, however I think it would be unfair to her for you to not make your intentions clear. You were not there when Feyre found out Rhys had been keeping that secret from her. It devastated her, and I don’t want to see that happen to Hailey, too. It would be fair for you to inform her of your connection and offer to court her as well. Then we can both assure her of our intentions at the same time, and she can make an informed choice to all of our futures.”
I let that idea wash over me, considering the implications of it. I didn’t want her to think the only reason I became her friend was to eventually become her mate and then question everything I had said or done. Telling her upfront did sound like an excellent choice, however the fear of instant rejection had my stomach turning.
As if he could read my mine, Azriel said, “She likes you, Eris. I can tell from the way she looks at you. Her eyes light up and she gets this dreamy look on her face. She looks at me with heat and passion, with longing and irritation, even admiration at times, but she never looks at me with that purely content expression she has when she spots you. I think she can feel it, the bond, even though she is human. It’s not as strong, and she doesn’t know what it is, but it’s there.”
My heart leapt at the possibility. Could Azriel be right? Did she feel something? If she did, could all of this somehow work out in my favor for once in my life?
She came bounding over then, three frogs balanced in her arms and all of them looking content to be there. “Look!” she laughed, the sound filling my once empty heart with warmth. “George made two friends!”
“Hailey…” Azriel started.
She only rolled her eyes at him. “Don’t worry, they’re not coming home with us. I asked them and they said no.”
He shot me a helpless look as if to ask ‘What am I to do with her?’ and I just shrugged.
“Hailey,” I started, glancing between the two of them. “I want to speak to you about something important.”
The smile on her face vanished instantly and I could smell the acrid scent of her anxiety seeping out of her as she looked between us. “What’s going on?” she whispered, her voice filled with apprehension. “A-are you two…Azriel, are you breaking up with me?”
