wow

Hold……..the……queso

we need to stop being so desperate about finding aliens. we need to play hard to get, pretend like we couldn’t care less. watch them come rushing into our atmosphere

me: good morning linda linda, who has backpacked across europe: not nearly as good as the morning that i experienced as i saw the sunrise across Barcelona,

I wish more foods were named in the same vein as “I Can’t Believe Its Not Butter!”

You’ve Got To Be Pulling My Leg, THIS Is Ranch?!

Shut The Fuck Up, Are You Telling Me This Shit Is Ketchup??

I Firmly Believe This Is Not Mustard And I Am Horribly Wrong

I Refused To Believe That This Condiment Was Barbecue Sauce, And I Have Been Summarily Flayed For My Apostasy

I Assigned Negligible Probability To This Being Chili Sauce And Have Since Updated

In Which Your Humble Narrator Assumed That The Substance Within This Container Was Not Worchestershire Sauce Only To Be Rudely Awakened From This Delusion By Mysterious Circumstances

So I Figured This Was Jam But Boy Howdy Was I Jumping To Some Erroneous Goddamn Conclusions

this not soup

chaotic neutral

I love how stars are billions of miles apart and we’re like “that’s a soup ladle”.

Jurrasic World looks amazing 😩👏🏾