Thor Stories

Found this from Thor...18 years ago..,

From: thor erickson <captainthor> Sent: Sunday, November 17, 2002 6:11 PM To: Donald Newman Subject: wassup?

  Hi guys...

  I have a funny story to tell you.

  Near the end of the summer, whenevr that was... Julian Schnabels wife made an appearance at the beach... late morning ...week day...not crowded. I was sitting at the table doing something having coffee, maybe burning one. It was her first appearance at the beach. I had been watching for her during the summer, because she is of course quite beautiful. When I heard her speak  I naturally changed my mind. She asked me:

       "You know Julian? You know my husband, Julian?"

         I replied, " No.  I don't know him. I know who he is, but I don't know him."

         She said, "So... you know what he looks like right...You know what Julian looks like?"

          I had no choice, " Yeah.... he looks fat."

          She let the remark go  as she had a some sort of logistical problem (she is a moron). "I was supposed to meet Julian at the beach. Maybe this beach... but I don't know, maybe it's a different beach. Did you see him?

           "I've beeen busy, maybe he came here maybe not...I didn't see him." I wondered how long they'd lived at the beach and how they could be so confused. I filed it under the idiocy of the undeservedly priveledged.

            About two days later, Julian approached me while I was sitting at the solo bench watching the waves and waiting for a better tide to go surf. He stood directly in front of me and said, "I understand my wife was here the other day, and you told her that I was fat."

       I stood up while he was speaking. when he was finished, I saud without hesitation," Well, you are!"

  Schnabel replied, "Well that was a stupid thing to say!

         "Well it's true!" Somehow these remarks just flow naturally like the sea.

            Schnabel became angry. "Well... well... I think you're stupid, And I think you look like a bum... and ...

      I quietly said, "Excuse me." I walked onto the beach,  5 paces away from the eruption of expletives that had begun spurting from his hairy moo-mooed mass.

       He said very loudly, "WELL... I DON'T EXCUSE YOU!!!"

        I began to laugh as loud as he was shouting. I nearly fell down disbelieving what he'd said.

  Nothing much happened between JS and me for the remainder of the season. I did watch him exited the water at the north bar when we had a wrap around swell. It took him nearly 20 minutes to reach the shore, trying to maneuver the knee high walk through the rocks and slime without falling down on top of the ugly black board made for him by some old time surf great whose name I forget. Nobody liked him either. Julian fell down many times.Out of kindness I left before he reached the shore. But he knew that I had been watching his painful and awkward struggle. 

    I hope you guys are well... see you sometime.

So we were sitting on the picnic table by the Ditch Witch and a woman came up and frantically asked us if we have seen her husband. When we told her repeatedly that we did not. She got an annoyed look on her face and blurted out "Do you know who my husband is ?" Thor responded "Yeah.  That FAT dude with the beard!"    The woman stormed off and Thor and I continued to look out to the water hoping a decent swell would come in.

About 15 minutes later, Julian Schnabel comes up to us pissed off and says to Thor "Hey I heard that you said to my wife that I am this fat dude!.

Using his patented unbothered expression, Thor looked at Julian and said "Dude, look at you.  You are fat!"

Classic Thor.....may he rest in place and catch many waves in the surf break in the sky. Maybe on day I will surf with him again.